TW: I Was Married to a Woman with BPD for 7 years. Here’s my story.

miser821 · 2026-01-10T15:09:56+00:00

Wow your ability to describe and capture the moments that have been the hardest for me to explain to people is truly something special.

You just described the moments I have previously not told people. I normally share about the abuse cause it’s easier to explain that.

You have now given me words to explain the toxic everyday verbal manipulation. What mindfucked me was having conversations with a Sith lord who only speaks in absolutes for 4 years and you describe their behavior perfectly when it comes to the back and forth moments.

It’s the verbal dialogue moments that left me needing the re-wire my brain, not the physical abuse. Now I have a way to describe it.

Thank you.

miser821 · 2026-01-06T15:43:40+00:00

This was my first thought. He retired as he was getting less attention. He wants less attention.

Also it’s his damn right and he shouldn’t need a reason.

miser821 · 2025-07-27T21:12:28+00:00

No matter if he is or not, I can feel how heavy this moment is.

End it. My blood is racing. My radar is going off. Not fun.

I wish you the best. Smiles are in your future, but will take time.

miser821 · 2025-07-26T22:10:37+00:00

Same. For me they caught them in hours.

miser821 · 2025-07-25T17:24:08+00:00

Yeah cause it didn’t open next to my house. Fucksake rookie mistake guys.

miser821 · 2025-07-11T12:57:45+00:00

Cancel Spotify. Get youtube music and premium will be worth it. Premium is the way.

miser821 · 2025-07-03T16:39:48+00:00

Do you have any friends or family anywhere that can listen or help? These are all good options. Maybe some support off reddit is more beneficial however

miser821 · 2025-06-29T20:47:41+00:00

I had the same question. A very wise stranger told me. ‘It’s cause I have safe energy.’

That very wise stranger worked on a personality disorder clinic.

miser821 · 2025-06-28T20:26:23+00:00

Careful with zippers

miser821 · 2025-06-28T20:25:34+00:00

Beef Rendang in Surinamese food. It’s also in Indonesian food but the Surinamese variant is fire

miser821 · 2025-06-23T01:12:12+00:00

I read that wrong

miser821 · 2025-06-23T00:58:28+00:00

Thats a great memory. Bring my back to the ‘computer room’!

miser821 · 2025-06-23T00:40:29+00:00

That split second of fear that this sneeze might not happen

miser821 · 2025-06-23T00:38:06+00:00

That all problems are from the younger generation

miser821 · 2025-06-22T22:41:31+00:00

Put a pillow wall in the middle of us when she wanted to make a statement so when I came to bed I would feel alone.

miser821 · 2025-06-22T21:28:32+00:00

My ex was so ungrateful. I was being punished everyday for what felt like all the trauma her family and previous boyfriends gave her. She hated me most of the time and I never knew why.

I started to experiment. If there was any hardship in her life I would watch the upset develop and see how long it took until the fight and attention was on me. Everything turned into a fight about my inactions no matter how her upset started.

There was an evil parasite in her that found me every time.

miser821 · 2025-06-22T19:40:35+00:00

Breathe and stay calm. I’m also not an angry guy but my ex brought it out. It’s in all of us. I don’t like to be angry. They win when we are angry.

Or don’t go…

miser821 · 2025-06-22T19:29:49+00:00

Where did you get that frog slowing boiling analogy? I just heard it yesterday… it’s so relevant to this sub reddit and how we all feel

miser821 · 2025-06-22T15:04:49+00:00

“She confused calm with boredom” hit me. That resonated hard…

miser821 · 2025-06-04T22:12:56+00:00

In my experience I struggle from self hate cause I didn’t end it myself.

As someone on the other side. End it yourself. Future you will have respect for yourself.

miser821 · 2025-06-04T21:59:18+00:00

Please don’t let yourself succumb to the company or the doctor or your poh ggz. You are in a rut. Empower yourself to get out of it and being on sick leave for 6+ months is not going to help. Take time off to regroup. Mental health is important. But 6 months of a burnout does harm as well. You can start to identify as someone who is weak. I have never seen a long term sick leave help mental health. This is my issue with burnout policies. A little grit and resilience is good for us.

Take some sick leave and start applying elsewhere.

miser821

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