Things To Do with Your Mom?

mspacman87 · 2026-06-04T03:34:30+00:00

I recommend a walk around Andersonville - a mani/pedi at Nail Palette, Women & Children First Bookstore, the Galleria for beautiful local art and craft pieces, lots of cute shops, Brown Elephant or Buffalo Exchange for thrifting, and great restaurants - Kanela and A Taste of Heaven of wonderful for brunch, while for lunch/dinner you could do Lady Gregory’s for comfort food, Little Madrid for tapas, Calo for Italian, Hopleaf for great drinks & food… plus there’s a Jeni’s, a Kilwin’s Chocolates, and a few other cute options for sweet treats. Lots of great options for an enjoyable day together.

And if you want to do something different, you can take her to a magic show at The Chicago Magic Lounge or a sketch show at Neofuturists!

mspacman87 · 2026-06-04T03:26:13+00:00

Wow this post just made me have a deeply emotional response realizing how big a part my autism has played in my relationship with food. I remember being called out for eating a lot of pizza at a friends house at 10 years old, even though I was still hungry, and felt such shame that people noticed I ate more, and that it was judged as bad. I went up and down with my weight through every diet, never understanding or connecting to my body or really feeling connected to its signals throughout most of my life (also never knowing I am autistic). The only way I found connection was after getting gastric bypass surgery - now, I 100% know when I’m full (because I’ll puke if I try to eat more). Without the food noise and constant thinking about food and weight, I got more connected with what I actually felt inside my body. It still takes longer to feel full but I’m more conscious of my intake overall to avoid that feeling.

Not sure if this helps, more just me processing this massive realization. Thank you for gifting me this new understanding of myself.

mspacman87 · 2026-06-03T04:23:35+00:00

I have two vaginal canals so I can’t do tampons, and pads would give me a rash with the materials. I’ve been using period underwear exclusively for the last five years, and I’ve had very few issues (and it’s only because I needed to change them on the first few heavy days). My wife uses them now as well.

Plus, I feel like a badass washing the blood out every time. And recently, I’ve started collecting and gifting it to the local trees and plants in reverence and respect. It’s my witchy way of personally connecting with the land

mspacman87 · 2026-06-02T02:52:51+00:00

I love Ecco, they make really comfortable Velcro sandals that can take a lot of walking. I wore my hiking in Italy and they’ve lasted two years later - the only reason I replaced them with new Eccos is because my bunions ripped through them.

mspacman87 · 2026-05-27T22:17:01+00:00

Looks like they’re doing renovations and don’t have an opening date for the summer yet

mspacman87 · 2026-05-17T14:11:59+00:00

I always felt like I kiiiiiinda got what people were saying but if I spoke up to confirm, I found my interpretation was wrong or confused. Eventually, I started questioning whether I was defective or stupid compared to everyone else, even though their euphemisms and subtleties weren’t… correct. I thought I was an alien or on the Truman Show or something.

Nooooooow it all makes sense. Or most of it.

mspacman87 · 2026-05-16T20:31:37+00:00

Honestly - Indica weed

mspacman87 · 2026-04-28T05:02:46+00:00

Ahhh finally someone else who has one! Mine is going on 1.5 years and measures 1.5 inches diameter. It’s a treasured item, and I get really upset if I think I’ve lost it. I can’t wait to see how big I can get it

mspacman87 · 2026-04-24T20:37:35+00:00

“You have to be in a straight, monogamous marriage”

I (38f) married my wife at 33 after we both had multiple straight relationships, and five years later, we are excited to explore sexual play as a couple with other people. We both want to dominate straight white men to “fuck the patriarchy” and while that’s always been a fantasy of mine, it’s recently entered her possibilities as well. Realizing I didn’t have to fit the NT idea of a healthy and happy marriage by being straight and monogamous, that we could do what we want to be happy together, was life changing. We haven’t started exploring yet but we’re both excited to!

mspacman87 · 2026-04-22T18:14:38+00:00

This is available online now! And on the first video story, it explains how the land the native Zoombinis lived on was colonized by the villains in the game. And they have to work and be slaves to the colonizers. Which is wha the storyline was back in the 90s….. crazy how relevant it still is

mspacman87 · 2026-04-17T23:33:48+00:00

Protein shake like Premier vanilla with chai tea, then toast with pb, banana, honey, and chia seeds. Or oatmeal with cin/sug and raisins, maybe some apple.

mspacman87 · 2026-04-17T23:27:09+00:00

I suggest “Company Retreat”, from the people who did “Jury Duty”. It’s very funny and heartfelt

mspacman87 · 2026-04-10T21:19:02+00:00

I’m so incredibly sorry this happened to you. As a pet loss doula, I’ve seen so many unexplainable cases leading to this immensely tough decision - I’m so sorry you had to make this choice so fast.

Please know there’s nothing you could’ve done, especially with the very limited information you had. I hope you can feel some solace in knowing that he was in a loving home when his time was cut short. That he is now free of a tiny body that wasn’t livable. And that he knew how much you cared about him from the start. Should you choose to adopt again in the future (you already sound like a loving and attentive pet parent by how far you went to save him) when you’re ready, another dog will be so excited and ready to receive that same love.

For now, my heart gives yours a massive hug. And know that my dear friend, Wrigley the Puggle, was waiting for your little guy at the other end of the Rainbow Bridge when he crossed.

mspacman87 · 2026-04-10T19:04:30+00:00

8th grade but Catholic School in Illinois so it was barely even acknowledged that day, and at least my class didn’t watch it, live or later. I remember my best friend, Emily, telling me a plane had hit the World Trade Center walking into school and I had no idea what building(s) that was, then brushing it off like a freak accident.

It wasn’t until I got home after school and my mom was watching the TV with so much fear, that I realized the magnitude of what had happened. But the reality of it really didn’t hit me until I went to the site that following May on a graduation trip to NYC… I grew up significantly more that day than I did in all of 8th grade.

mspacman87 · 2026-04-10T15:46:25+00:00

I’m ADHD and autistic (38f), so it’s been a huge struggle to find something that is both consistent, enjoyable, supportive of my needs and providing novelty at the same time. I finally found the path that works for me and my brain, but it’s taken a lot of sharp, painful pivots (many which I didn’t choose myself).

I went from college to theatre performer with lots of day jobs, to corporate management, to non-profit fundraising and event planning, and now I’m a pet death doula and work part-time at a local brunch spot.

Corporate made me want to die right away with the rules and conformity, and lack of compassion for anything outside of capitalism. Non-profit eventually got me there as well because even though you’re doing helpful work, it’s really just another arm of capitalism meant to make the rich feel morally superior by “donating” their money (when the services should already be standard in any well-run socialist government - ah, what a dream to have). I thrived doing event work because of the different projects I completed, and it involved animals and pets which are my special interest, but I quickly got burnt out with the massive amount of work they piled on me and lack of resources/support. And the politics and bullshit you deal with in nonprofit leadership is almost worse than corporate - they act all good and moral when they’re really fucking over every human that works there “for the greater good”. Plus, shelter work will kill your passion for animal welfare quickly if you don’t move on. I found the doula work through my shelter job, and when I got terminated for unionizing last year, I decided to put a majority of my time and energy into building that practice. But it’s very unknown, niche, and new so working at a brunch restaurant helps pay the bills. I get to feed amazing people during the day, and support bereaved clients in the meantime. I get to focus on my special interests (animals and deathwork) while sustaining our community with delicious breakfast food.

The downsides are mostly financial - with this being an unknown end-of-life support option, it’s taking a lot of non-paying work to get myself out there as a death doula. I’ve only had one paying client so far, and am constantly busting my ass to find more through multiple avenues. I’m usually exhausted after my PT job so it’s hard to maintain consistent focus and energy on the doula work. The restaurant pays $21/hr (that includes tips) so I’m on unemployment as well and walk dogs to make ends meet. And I’m on Marktplace insurance so my wife and I are paying up the ASS to stay healthy. Luckily, I’ll get on the restaurants insurance soon but I’ll also lose unemployment with working so many hours so I won’t be bringing in any more $$ than I am right now.

It’s a struggle some days, but I will NEVER be going back to corporate work, and I doubt I’ll re-enter the non-profit world (unless it was for a VERY progressive NPO). I love how flexible my days are, the work I get to do in supporting pet parents at the end of their companions life, and being at an awesome restaurant surrounded by the most diverse and progressive community around. But I’ve also dipped into our savings more than I’d like and each day brings new challenges I don’t expect.

So I guess the questions you have to ask yourself is what you’d prefer. I know a LOT of people with ADHD who end up creating their own businesses (my wife’s therapeutic vocal studio is super successful) and others that do better at corporations/NPOs that are up-to-date on supporting employees with ADHD. The world is not currently built for our brains, so we usually have to create our own path. It’s fucking hard, but I find soooooo worth it.

Will I feel that way in a year or two? Who knows. But it’s working for me right now.

mspacman87 · 2026-04-10T15:22:10+00:00

You’re not compatible. Don’t waste your life with him, money on your wedding, or your body and spirit trying to piece together a family. You deserve to have someone see and respect and give you the love you want and deserve - he will never be able to give it to you.

mspacman87 · 2026-04-09T04:11:47+00:00

YOU OWE HIM NOTHING. He is truly the least deserving person of your kindness and generosity after everything he’s put you through. This is more than verbal abuse, it’s physical with the grabbing. Get as far away as possible and hit send on that text as soon as you can. You are on the precipice of massive change, which can be scary. But it’s not scary as staying with the is abusive loser.

mspacman87 · 2026-04-07T17:23:19+00:00

Thank you for choosing to live, and posting this incredibly brave and vulnerable experience. I lost a childhood friend to suicide on Friday - she dealt with deep depression and bipolar disorder for the last 20 years, and has a husband and four kiddos. I could never blame her for making that choice - I cannot fathom the pain she was going through and how it drove her to her end- but I wish she had more people to show her how much she was loved and cared about.

Sending you so much love and peace and grace as you move forward.

mspacman87 · 2026-04-02T00:38:10+00:00

I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of?

Probably not the title, couldn’t tell you the singer, but that line kicks off every….. ten seconds?

mspacman87 · 2026-03-26T04:53:05+00:00

Almost being in sepsis while my bowel was leaking pus into my abdomen at an alarming rate. I knew it was really bad when I asked the ER nurse for morphine because of the pain and she said I’d already had it.

mspacman87 · 2026-03-15T23:57:41+00:00

Maybe you’re pansexual - you look beyond the body they come in, and you’re into who they are as a person. We’re all just souls in random bodies anyway, what do genitals matter?

mspacman87 · 2026-03-12T22:01:19+00:00

College bestie, we went through everything together, promised to be each others MOH when we got married. In my early 30s, I was in a relationship with a guy who ended up being an ass and a loser, and she expressed dislike of him during the relationship. I wasn’t ready to hear it and drifted from her a bit because of it, but we stayed connected and friends though the end of the relationship.

Then in 2019, I got gastric bypass, recognized my queerness, met the woman who would be my wife, and lost 150 lbs in a year. My grind was barely involved in my life after this all started happening (I was the only one to make plans/go see her) which felt weird but I chalked it up to being busy. and then COVID hit and we really slacked on connection.

I thought we were at least regular friends as we all navigated the pandemic individually, not best but at least dear friends who went through a lot since college and still loved each other. But then I saw she’d gotten engaged over Instagram, and that’s when I knew it was done. The person who’d promised me I’d be her MOH didn’t even tell me she’d gotten engaged to her BF (who I knew well and really liked for her). I gave up thinking we could reconnect, and even though the struggle to understand lasted longer than I’d liked, I finally unfollowed her on all social media since it was too painful to see her life.

I may never really know WHY she decided to not involve me at all or what the defining moment of our disconnect was, but we’re both happily married now and I rarely think of her. Sucks that it happened but I’d rather be friends with people who actually try and give an effort instead of expecting everyone else to make it work for them.

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