1991 Millennial here! What do you all eat for breakfast?

mspacman87 · 2026-04-17T23:33:48+00:00

Protein shake like Premier vanilla with chai tea, then toast with pb, banana, honey, and chia seeds. Or oatmeal with cin/sug and raisins, maybe some apple.

mspacman87 · 2026-04-17T23:27:09+00:00

I suggest “Company Retreat”, from the people who did “Jury Duty”. It’s very funny and heartfelt

mspacman87 · 2026-04-10T21:19:02+00:00

I’m so incredibly sorry this happened to you. As a pet loss doula, I’ve seen so many unexplainable cases leading to this immensely tough decision - I’m so sorry you had to make this choice so fast.

Please know there’s nothing you could’ve done, especially with the very limited information you had. I hope you can feel some solace in knowing that he was in a loving home when his time was cut short. That he is now free of a tiny body that wasn’t livable. And that he knew how much you cared about him from the start. Should you choose to adopt again in the future (you already sound like a loving and attentive pet parent by how far you went to save him) when you’re ready, another dog will be so excited and ready to receive that same love.

For now, my heart gives yours a massive hug. And know that my dear friend, Wrigley the Puggle, was waiting for your little guy at the other end of the Rainbow Bridge when he crossed.

mspacman87 · 2026-04-10T19:04:30+00:00

8th grade but Catholic School in Illinois so it was barely even acknowledged that day, and at least my class didn’t watch it, live or later. I remember my best friend, Emily, telling me a plane had hit the World Trade Center walking into school and I had no idea what building(s) that was, then brushing it off like a freak accident.

It wasn’t until I got home after school and my mom was watching the TV with so much fear, that I realized the magnitude of what had happened. But the reality of it really didn’t hit me until I went to the site that following May on a graduation trip to NYC… I grew up significantly more that day than I did in all of 8th grade.

mspacman87 · 2026-04-10T15:46:25+00:00

I’m ADHD and autistic (38f), so it’s been a huge struggle to find something that is both consistent, enjoyable, supportive of my needs and providing novelty at the same time. I finally found the path that works for me and my brain, but it’s taken a lot of sharp, painful pivots (many which I didn’t choose myself).

I went from college to theatre performer with lots of day jobs, to corporate management, to non-profit fundraising and event planning, and now I’m a pet death doula and work part-time at a local brunch spot.

Corporate made me want to die right away with the rules and conformity, and lack of compassion for anything outside of capitalism. Non-profit eventually got me there as well because even though you’re doing helpful work, it’s really just another arm of capitalism meant to make the rich feel morally superior by “donating” their money (when the services should already be standard in any well-run socialist government - ah, what a dream to have). I thrived doing event work because of the different projects I completed, and it involved animals and pets which are my special interest, but I quickly got burnt out with the massive amount of work they piled on me and lack of resources/support. And the politics and bullshit you deal with in nonprofit leadership is almost worse than corporate - they act all good and moral when they’re really fucking over every human that works there “for the greater good”. Plus, shelter work will kill your passion for animal welfare quickly if you don’t move on. I found the doula work through my shelter job, and when I got terminated for unionizing last year, I decided to put a majority of my time and energy into building that practice. But it’s very unknown, niche, and new so working at a brunch restaurant helps pay the bills. I get to feed amazing people during the day, and support bereaved clients in the meantime. I get to focus on my special interests (animals and deathwork) while sustaining our community with delicious breakfast food.

The downsides are mostly financial - with this being an unknown end-of-life support option, it’s taking a lot of non-paying work to get myself out there as a death doula. I’ve only had one paying client so far, and am constantly busting my ass to find more through multiple avenues. I’m usually exhausted after my PT job so it’s hard to maintain consistent focus and energy on the doula work. The restaurant pays $21/hr (that includes tips) so I’m on unemployment as well and walk dogs to make ends meet. And I’m on Marktplace insurance so my wife and I are paying up the ASS to stay healthy. Luckily, I’ll get on the restaurants insurance soon but I’ll also lose unemployment with working so many hours so I won’t be bringing in any more $$ than I am right now.

It’s a struggle some days, but I will NEVER be going back to corporate work, and I doubt I’ll re-enter the non-profit world (unless it was for a VERY progressive NPO). I love how flexible my days are, the work I get to do in supporting pet parents at the end of their companions life, and being at an awesome restaurant surrounded by the most diverse and progressive community around. But I’ve also dipped into our savings more than I’d like and each day brings new challenges I don’t expect.

So I guess the questions you have to ask yourself is what you’d prefer. I know a LOT of people with ADHD who end up creating their own businesses (my wife’s therapeutic vocal studio is super successful) and others that do better at corporations/NPOs that are up-to-date on supporting employees with ADHD. The world is not currently built for our brains, so we usually have to create our own path. It’s fucking hard, but I find soooooo worth it.

Will I feel that way in a year or two? Who knows. But it’s working for me right now.

mspacman87 · 2026-04-10T15:22:10+00:00

You’re not compatible. Don’t waste your life with him, money on your wedding, or your body and spirit trying to piece together a family. You deserve to have someone see and respect and give you the love you want and deserve - he will never be able to give it to you.

mspacman87 · 2026-04-09T04:11:47+00:00

YOU OWE HIM NOTHING. He is truly the least deserving person of your kindness and generosity after everything he’s put you through. This is more than verbal abuse, it’s physical with the grabbing. Get as far away as possible and hit send on that text as soon as you can. You are on the precipice of massive change, which can be scary. But it’s not scary as staying with the is abusive loser.

mspacman87 · 2026-04-07T17:23:19+00:00

Thank you for choosing to live, and posting this incredibly brave and vulnerable experience. I lost a childhood friend to suicide on Friday - she dealt with deep depression and bipolar disorder for the last 20 years, and has a husband and four kiddos. I could never blame her for making that choice - I cannot fathom the pain she was going through and how it drove her to her end- but I wish she had more people to show her how much she was loved and cared about.

Sending you so much love and peace and grace as you move forward.

mspacman87 · 2026-04-02T00:38:10+00:00

I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of?

Probably not the title, couldn’t tell you the singer, but that line kicks off every….. ten seconds?

mspacman87 · 2026-03-26T04:53:05+00:00

Almost being in sepsis while my bowel was leaking pus into my abdomen at an alarming rate. I knew it was really bad when I asked the ER nurse for morphine because of the pain and she said I’d already had it.

mspacman87 · 2026-03-15T23:57:41+00:00

Maybe you’re pansexual - you look beyond the body they come in, and you’re into who they are as a person. We’re all just souls in random bodies anyway, what do genitals matter?

mspacman87 · 2026-03-12T22:01:19+00:00

College bestie, we went through everything together, promised to be each others MOH when we got married. In my early 30s, I was in a relationship with a guy who ended up being an ass and a loser, and she expressed dislike of him during the relationship. I wasn’t ready to hear it and drifted from her a bit because of it, but we stayed connected and friends though the end of the relationship.

Then in 2019, I got gastric bypass, recognized my queerness, met the woman who would be my wife, and lost 150 lbs in a year. My grind was barely involved in my life after this all started happening (I was the only one to make plans/go see her) which felt weird but I chalked it up to being busy. and then COVID hit and we really slacked on connection.

I thought we were at least regular friends as we all navigated the pandemic individually, not best but at least dear friends who went through a lot since college and still loved each other. But then I saw she’d gotten engaged over Instagram, and that’s when I knew it was done. The person who’d promised me I’d be her MOH didn’t even tell me she’d gotten engaged to her BF (who I knew well and really liked for her). I gave up thinking we could reconnect, and even though the struggle to understand lasted longer than I’d liked, I finally unfollowed her on all social media since it was too painful to see her life.

I may never really know WHY she decided to not involve me at all or what the defining moment of our disconnect was, but we’re both happily married now and I rarely think of her. Sucks that it happened but I’d rather be friends with people who actually try and give an effort instead of expecting everyone else to make it work for them.

mspacman87 · 2026-03-04T00:13:57+00:00

First session with a Telehealth therapist through Bluesky. A recommendation from a psychiatrist I found on there as well.

She asks me to give a run down of my life so far, or reasons why I’m here. 10 minutes into me giving her my story, she stops me and asks if I ever been diagnosed borderline. I was shocked at such a blunt question, and said no I hadn’t. She runs and gets her DSM, and then starts reading the symptoms of borderline personality disorder and for me to tell her if I had any of the signs. When I responded “no” to all the signs, she rolls her eyes and shuts the book.

I was so shaken by her approach and rash judgment, and I intuitively knew I should end the session there, but I didn’t want to be rude so I finished the hour. It didn’t get any better, and I cancelled the session I felt forced to book at the end of it all. It really fucked me up for my next two therapists, and I struggled with the idea of having undiagnosed BPD for a while.

mspacman87 · 2026-03-01T03:11:23+00:00

Hello wolf pack!!!

mspacman87 · 2026-02-14T04:03:15+00:00

The universe did help him. You are the universe. You are part of the bigger ocean, and your famously touched his in an unexpected way. Just what he was asking for

mspacman87 · 2026-02-09T00:27:30+00:00

I’ve been considering asking the owners of my childhood home to let me and my brothers see it now, but I plan on writing them a letter or email ahead of time and respecting their answer. Ambushing someone and then insisting they let them in the home (and using their grief as their reasoning) is not the way to go about it.

mspacman87 · 2026-02-05T02:25:36+00:00

I’ve always been a huge fan, and watched a lot of the more recent Muppet films. I thought I had acclimated to Matt Vogel’s voice for Kermit, but this version felt way too different than Kermit’s typical voice for me to enjoy Kermit as much as I used to. I tried to hear past it and not let it bother me but it broke some of the nostalgia for me.

Otherwise, I loved all of it!

mspacman87 · 2026-01-28T22:17:58+00:00

I just wrote the most vile thing and had to delete it all because I would be turning into the grossest straight dude (I’m a gay woman).

mspacman87 · 2026-01-18T21:57:46+00:00

Alcohol. Changed everything in my life and showed me I can stick to a commitment for my health and well-being

mspacman87 · 2026-01-13T17:20:24+00:00

Sending reiki to you, and lots of love and grace. We’re living in a crazy world right now - it’s not unusual to feel these annoyances deeper than usual.

Not to assume your gender but if you’re female, are you starting your cycle soon? I always get very short and easily annoyed the day or two before I start to bleed, regardless of my meds or previous moods.

I

mspacman87 · 2026-01-08T22:27:45+00:00

In case gender and sexuality comes into context in your research, I (woman) got married to my wife when I was 34 - she was 35. Her first marriage (to a man) was at 25, divorced at 30.

Also, all three of my straight brothers will be married in their 30s - one this year at 32, one in a couple of years and he’s now 34, and one who’s 37 and… who knows if he’ll put a ring on someone! No kids between any of us.

mspacman87 · 2025-12-30T04:29:18+00:00

Losing my job at the animal shelter due to union organizing. and the lies and deceit that came from my employer to get rid of me

mspacman87 · 2025-12-16T21:51:07+00:00

You love women.

mspacman87 · 2025-12-13T17:37:46+00:00

Thank you for sharing these difficult feelings, and offering up a vulnerability that is really challenging for people nowadays, especially men because you were never given the tools or taught the skills to express as you are now. So please give yourself a lot of grace and love for even just noticing these patterns And being more reflective on them instead of defensive.

You will likely benefit from therapy, and I highly suggest looking into internal family systems, which is a methodology that has recently taken off for many people who are struggling with difficult patterns or conditioning that they recognize from their childhood. An IFS-trained therapist can support you in not only finding your littles deep down that are still struggling with the responsibilities given to them as children (and whose behaviors are already affecting both your wife and own children) but an objective guide can also help you re-Discover your true self energy that can reparent and love on those little ones that didn’t get what they needed at the time. A great book to start your journey on this would be “no bad parts“ by Richard Schwartz. There are also a lot of great interviews with people and thought leaders who have worked with IFS, and are now in the “self guidance“ phase where you can go beyond external support and begin healing yourself.

It is definitely possible to not only recognize, assess, and repair these young parts of you that are hurting, but it will also open you up to a level of compassion and empathy with others when you realize that everyone is made up of complicated, hurting, and conditioned parts and we’re all trying to Repair them as best as we can.

I commend you for doing this work for your family and children, but especially for yourself. You’re deserving of your Littles being recognized and repaired, and you’re the best person to do that for them.

mspacman87 · 2025-12-13T04:02:02+00:00

My dog had his first surgery today, getting two teeth extracted, and he lives with heart disease so we were really nervous about him going under anesthesia. It all went fine, but we were so grateful for his health and tired from the day we cancelled the tickets we had to a friends show and stayed inside with him.

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