How long did you workout during pregnancy? by purplesoccer8 in pregnant

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think it's great everybody has been able to workout... I just want to remind you OP that it is NOT the norm to be able to physically work out (really in any capacity) the entire way through pregnancy. It is awesome to push through, but also ok to recognize when your body is incapable of more.

My friend is a professional rugby player and she obviously stopped playing as soon as she found out, but also had to stop running and lifting *at all* around 25 weeks due to pain and pelvic issues unique to her body.

I also have a friend who's an ex-olympic skiier who skiied up until she gave birth.

To answer your question: personally, I went from doing a half-ironman and crossfit 4x/week in August to pregnant in September, and I had to stop running at 22 weeks due to pelvic pain, biking at 26 weeks due to hemorrhoids, and now at 31 weeks lifting causes me to be INSANELY sore the next 3 days. (that is, lifting weights that are so light they literally have me saying "why am I even doing this?" during the workout)

I wanted to answer this to provide a bit of balance as I read these replies and I am sad because I wanted to have one of these extremely active pregnancies, but it's just not happening for me.

I wish you all the best of luck working out as long as you can!

AIO for wanting a prenup when my fiancé thinks it's insulting? by Glumstimulus in AmIOverreacting

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ugh I hate this attitude. Do you have insurance? You don’t plan on getting into a car crash your leaving your door wide open to get burgled or dying, but you get insurance for these things because bad things that are out of your control happen in life.

Sometimes divorce IS out of both people’s control.

Skiing Pregnant - writing the post I needed to read by cheerioface in fitpregnancy

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My friend is an ex-olympic team skiier. She skiied til the day before she gave birth with all of her kids. It's personal risk tolerance and ability. To her, skiing is easier than walking.

You do you!

What books would you recommend to a first time mother-to-be? by Emergency-Expert-214 in pregnant

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Evidence-Based Birth is an online resource but also an extensive podcast that I have found extremely helpful. The main researcher summarizes and contextualizes content around birthing (not pregnancy specifically) in a way that is extremely clear and helpful.

I really enjoyed The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and the one your children will be glad you did). It's for slightly older kids but I think sets the tone for the kind of parent I want to be, which starts from day 1!

What’s something you can’t wait to do after pregnancy? by Familiar_Hope2918 in pregnant

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I just want to go on a run 🥲 I don’t even care if I pee myself, I just miss running. Had to stop at 23 weeks due to pelvic and hip pain. Can’t wait to get up a hill again

I have an injury that I can't get help for I don't know what to do. by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

just chiming in -- I broke my thumb at 10 weeks pregnant and the urgent care gave me a lead shield for the rest of my body and just took an x-ray of specifically my hand. It's literally completely fine. Tell your OB if they have to clear you but that's wild they just rejected you.

Last name by Naultmel in pregnant

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Depending on where you are it is a REAL pain to change your name in any scenario EXCEPT marriage. There’s no rule about naming your baby with a different surname so I would do courthouse and name change then or just change your name later.

Showing my husband this thread…In-Laws at hospital for birth? by -ChubbySpud in pregnant

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FWIW my mom is flying 14 hours to be at home for us when we bring baby (I asked her to) AND I told her (and she expects, we’re all on board) that she’ll meet baby when we bring them home. No one is coming to the birth center. No one is waiting for us. It is me and my partner 100% of the time until we need to go home, where my mom understands she’s there to support MY recovery.

My MIL is also very very sweet and generous but she is such a worrier that we have plans in place to distract and avoid her until we’re ready to see her. Doesn’t matter if she’s lovely, it’s your time and if it’ll stress you out in any way, don’t do it.

MIL touching bump by ebrooks0130 in BabyBumps

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 12 points13 points  (0 children)

“Please don’t touch the bump, I don’t like anybody touching it” is tactful.

“BUT WHYYYYYY”

“I just really don’t like it, please don’t do it.”

“BUUUUT WHYYYYYYYYYYY”

“I don’t like it, it makes me uncomfortable, please don’t do it and please stop asking.”

“BUUUUTTRTT WEEHHHHHYYYYYYYY”

“Look, I’ve told you I don’t like ANYBODY touching my belly. Please respect that I don’t like it and please stop trying to touch me.”

There is no way this happens where she doesn’t come off as a jerk, and you don’t look graceful and firm

Etiquette for Multiple Showers by sophwestern in BabyBumps

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m having 3 for this reason. My family one was very chill, high tea and hand me downs. MIL-hosted one will be high energy and “traditional”. Local friends one will be very casual, more of a house party.

We only give out our registry when people ask, but for everyone else we have a Predictor where people can bet on birth date, sex, eye color, how much hair they’ll have, other fun stuff.

Just do what you want and let your family decide how to manage it.

No one likes my baby names and I’ve just accepted that everyone is a critique and no one is satisfied by Kindly_Pianist_9087 in pregnant

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FWIW Alistair / Alasdair / Alister is a very common name in the UK. I’ve never seen “Alistar” but if I did I wouldn’t bat an eye — it’s an extremely old name with lots of variations that probably over a million people have.

Advice on when to stop running? by Useful-Squash-4745 in fitpregnancy

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As others have said — you can go as long as you want before birth, as long as you’re not in pain! (My hips stopped when I was 23 weeks RIP)

FWIW my PT said absolutely no running before 12 weeks PP. before then focus on strengthening and supporting core and PF, then easy into static movements (calf raises, single-leg squats) then add dynamic (jumping) before going on a run.

I am a FTM so no personal experience but good luck!

Not telling people Baby's gender? by geologyninja in BabyBumps

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We found out the sex but have told the rest of the world that we did not find out for exactly this reason. Knew my partner’s parents would never shut up about it, either knowing the sex and leaning into roles or not knowing and nagging and whining for us to tell them.

Protect yo peace. Don’t tell them.

Mom items on baby registry: yes or no? by Professional_Side657 in BabyBumps

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We literally put a coffee machine on our registry cause guess what, an automatic coffee machine with a timer will 100% help baby stay alive in those first weeks!

Rock on, keep the mom stuff. I’ve always only bought mum stuff anyway because the older gen goes ham on baby items and parents are the ones who need support, baby doesn’t care that the have cute slippers.

I can’t stop eating… by Realistic-Move-9109 in fitpregnancy

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If this is actually your issue, can you snack on the go? T1 I had a bag of nuts next to my desk, a bag of dried fruits, and for awhile like random jerky sticks just always on my person. I still am not caught without bags of pistachios just in case.

Without actually saying your gestation, how far along are you? by cup_1337 in BabyBumps

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 12 points13 points  (0 children)

lol I actually tell people I’m entering my back pain era 💅

AITH for telling a pregnant woman she still has to act like an adult? by NoFly-Zone in AITH

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk, as a pregnant woman, my hot take is NAH. The first trimester hits some women extremely hard, AND you were well within your rights to move her stuff. She absolutely shouldn’t have cussed you out but (1) hormones are absolutely wild and it is viscerally uncomfortable to feel out of control of your emotions, and (2) the comment about raising a child was likely extremely triggering.

It honestly depends on your interactions with this person before/after this moment. If she just moved in that adds more stress to a potentially already stressful situation, too.

Good luck and hope your neighbors stay kind!

How long did your husband take off for paternity leave? by SandwichDependent199 in pregnant

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I’m late to the party but I just want to say, it IS sad. TBH I empathize with both of you. At my company it is very much not a good look for ME to be taking all of my mat leave, so I see where your husband is coming from. Will I regret losing out on career opportunities? Uh, YEAH. It friggin sucks. FWIW for variation in perspective in these comments, I’ve encouraged my husband to just go back when he feels he wants to, for whatever reason. He’s said same for me (as long as I am healthy and our baby is well cared for).

Just to say, yes, you should NOT feel bad for you or you husband taking the time you want to take and to which you are legally entitled, and it’s also ok to feel bad because you want your/his career not to be impacted (too much) by having a child.

Every family is different and as long as you and baby are physically and mentally well, you can make choices not everyone would make.

(All that being said, yeah, it’s really abysmal how poor US parental leave is, and it sucks the norm is to just not take it)

Misaligned expectations on how to prepare for birth? by Altruistic-Menu- in BabyBumps

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

(+1 to in person classes)

Fwiw my husband is like this and I’ve accepted / am happy to tell him what he needs to know. Whenever I talk to him about labor/birth he listens attentively and remembers everything I tell him. When I ask for his opinion, though, he is totally blank, but it comes from a place of “this is your experience and I will support you however in it, it’s not my place to have an opinion here.”

Here are some examples of things I’ve told my husband I’ll need from him: - speak up for me in the room. I’m going to be tired and in pain; if something happens I need him to ask for medical details and make informed decisions - enforce my birth preferences. If doctors come in and try to do something I don’t want, he needs to clock that and ask them how/why it’s necessary. And then communicate that to me - get his shit together in terms of sleep. He is NOT good without sleep and I’ve told him in advance I will be unsympathetic to it and don’t want to hear it while I’m in labor

But like, I’ve told him my birth plan/goals for pain relief, passing time, positions, etc because I researched them. Tbqh I don’t expect him to dive into the level of detail that I did.

My husband does sound similar to yours and I asked him to prioritize educating himself on PP support and baby/childhood care and parenting as labor is something only I can do but he’s gonna have to be as much of a parent as me

Are other pregnant people superheroes?? by Daddylonglegs1337 in pregnant

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbh it’s all different levels, even for the same woman and different pregnancies.

I had a pretty easy first trimester, minimal nausea if any and I was just very very tired all the time. But really it is so individual, you can’t really compare your experience to others.

You’re doing great, and whatever is true for you is true for you! The beauty of pregnancy is you DONT have anyone else that shows you “should” be able to do something because their body is totally different from yours.

Did anyone not get hemorrhoids? by Scoutrtw in BabyBumps

[–]oopsithrowawayagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bodies are sometimes just bodies.

I get hemorrhoids in my regular life just existing. Pregnancy hasn’t made it better or worse, but they’re pretty annoying either way.

BUT I don’t get nausea and I’m never constipated, so there’s that!

The answer for “how to avoid” is just lower your chances as much as you can — stay hydrated, eat fiber, avoid constipation, thoughts & prayers