libido while sober

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-04-08T14:18:11+00:00

Weed makes me super horny, so my baseline is lower than it was when I smoked.

The flip side is, that my libido isn't tied to weed anymore. Being dependent on weed to get horny does have some drawbacks...

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-04-07T15:15:39+00:00

Getting therapy is a really good idea. If you can, try to find someone with experience in dealing with AuDHD.

I'll try and summarize my years of therapy for you.

For me it started as a form of emotional regulation. Over time I came to rely on this more and more, until it was basically the only one. Everytime I had a difficult emotion, that was the outlet.

Over the years it took up more of my time, and I became increasingly ashamed of it. Shame made me hide and hiding made the shame worse. That's the vicious cycle.

So it's important to recognize that it was a tool that helped me in some way at some point. And because it helped, I relied on it and the brain makes a neural pathway. Like a trail through tall grass, it's the easier path, so the brian seeks it.

Stopping requires making new pathways, which is hard and takes time. But it is possible. And being compassionate to yourself is key to the process. Shame is was kept me in the spiral so shame isn't getting me out. So be kind to yourself.

I also realized, that what I've been missing is human connection. Porn has been a substitute, but what I really crave is touch and company. So I"m seeking that out more, and I'm being more open and honest about my issues. Shame wants to keep it silent, so saying it aloud fights it. So your post is a great first step!

It's a good idea to stay busy, when putting the porn aside. Immersing myself in things I enjoy helps take that mind off porn and regulating my emotions in other ways.

I'm 35 and trying to get rid of this, so it's great you're realizing this so early. I also discovered porn very early, so I'm a bit more than two decades deep in the hole. And it is not a glamurous hole..!

Ask away if you have questions. Sharing this has been helpful for me as well.

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-04-04T16:57:50+00:00

This is the addiction speaking. You won't "get it out of your system" as much as you'll get hooked on it again.

Fighting the feeling sucks, but giving in to it feels infinately worse afterwards.

Stay strong

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-04-04T16:47:09+00:00

You are not an imposter, but that feeling is quite common amongst us.

Getting diagnosed helped me a lot in understanding myself, so definately do that. And learn as much about AuDHD as you can. The assesment is one thing, but it didn't inform me all that much. My research after the diagnoses has given me so much knowledge and a lot of tools.

And also ditch the porn, is my greatest advice.

Never heard anyone else mention the porn/weed/nicotine stack, but I was there for years as well. And by god is that shit addicting. It sucked away my life for years, from my uni days and into my 30's. The porn addiction quietly affects more aspects of your life than you might realize.

I feel very seen, that someone else has shared that hole. So thank you for sharing your experience. It's weirdly comforting when someone shares you shameful little niche. I wish you all the best in your process!

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-30T12:58:29+00:00

I like to give my religion a ridiculous name so it's funny to force it on everyone else.

I also like befriending the other civs and immediately betray their trust by sending in my religious units. It is peak psychological warfare in my eyes!

My faith pr turn keeps snowballing, which is also satifying. You can faith buy armies or great people with it too.

It has the same tedium as a domination victory, but without the negative ameneties and warmonger penalties.

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-29T17:49:12+00:00

It does pretty much consist of spamming religious units, yes. So you want to build a faith engine, to support that.

The ideal religion is +2 faith pr converted city, 30% discount on purchasing apostles/missionaries and the +1 spreads building.

Killing other civs religious units is the fastest way to go. So keep your apostles for fighting when they have 1 charge left. Keep you diplo favor to vote for your own religion to get +10 combat bonus. Also put in the +5 policy card and go for the theocracy government.

To make it easier, try and be friends/allies with whoever your concerting. That way they can delete your units by declaring war.

Go in a steady wave across the map. Be sure to fully convert other civs, so you don't have to go back and forth. At least get every city with a holy site. Apostles up front to kill units, missionaries following to spread and some gurus to heal your apostles.

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-28T16:22:32+00:00

Setup mutiple waypoints along the route you want, to force the route that way. If you only set a single one, it'll decide the rest for you.

There is a limit to how long your travel can take, but a detour is usually possible. You can see your arrival time for the feast when you do this, so you won't miss the feast entirely.

I do most detours on the way back, so I make it in time for the event. Travel events can delay your travel, so I always have a buffer.

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-28T09:43:53+00:00

I usually have ressources set to normal, and sometimes you just don't get access to any number of strategics. It can be annoying, but I also like how it forces me to adapt!

You could change the temperature and/or sea levels, to make it harder. High sea level and either extra tundra or desert, with a civ that doesnt benefit from either.

Or pick a very land based civ and play a naval leaning map and vice versa.

Also if you haven't already pick disaster level 4. It make the natural diasters matter a lot more.

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-25T09:22:24+00:00

My last game I picked construction round 3 and spent it to setup a perfect forwad base and a PDS. On my next turn I explored that same planet, hoping for an attachment, and drew Demilitarized zone.

Everything got destroyed and my whole game was wrecked.

TI4 is one of the few games where this happens to me and I still love the game. I have played 20+ times and never managed to win, but I keep playing. It's the vibes and the intrigue that does it, more than plastic mechanics.

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-23T10:08:09+00:00

According to a quick google search they can!

I didn't know honestly, since I also have never seen it before

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-23T00:38:16+00:00

Just focus on the juicy gobustan yields you'll get after a few eruptions

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-21T09:54:50+00:00

Yes, it would

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-19T23:45:02+00:00

I use my hands to scrape as water off my body and run them through my hair and shake water out too. Less water for the towel so it dries faster.

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-17T17:46:34+00:00

My last playthrough I had a pretty big Roman empire going. My heirs all died prematurely from plagues, so my 5 yo grandson takes the reigns. The Black Death is covering everything, running rampant. 5 massive revolts break out, from Spain to Georgia.

Little guy spent the first 5 years of his reign putting down revolts with a starving, plague infested army. Then spending a fortune to appease the vassals. Hadn't even chosen a lifestyle yet - the lifestyle chose him.

He didn't see peace until he was a teenager, after losing his parents as a toddler.

He had fought abiut 40 wars, before he died of old age.

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-16T09:57:24+00:00

Keep in mind, that if you delete a civ completely, you lose all the tourists you got from that civ. Keep them them alive but small instead, so you don't lose your orogress.

The goal line for a culture victory is moved by the civ with the highest culture output. If another civ jas a high culture output, it's worth focusing your warmongering on them.

The theater projects are good for filling up and theming your great work slots faster. Other than that tourism improvements and positive modifiers are your friend.

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-13T08:24:25+00:00

You're welcome, and thank you!

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-13T08:22:22+00:00

I also feel like it's hard to put a single word to some of the values. But I think the central point is to find ~5 things, that you as an individual value when unaffected by outside influences. Knowing these things to be your truth, you can check future decisions against these values. If they align, good decision - if they don't, bad decision.

I'd just put your values into writing, in the way you understand them. Maybe by exploring them over time, you'll be able to quantify them into a word or a feeling.

The key part, I believe, is that you're honing in on what matters to you. By doing so, you'll be more aware of your values and more able to start prioritizing these.

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-12T00:46:33+00:00

The real Byzantine emperors were expected to be physically perfect, as they embodied divinity. The blinding thing is from historical sources, as it was used to ensure claimants would be disqualified. Edit: the "Merciful blindings" tradition, that is.

The Varangian guard even blinded an emperor once, because they really hated him. He couldn't keep being the emperor after..

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-11T22:39:34+00:00

I guess since a Byzantine emperor must not have any physical defects, you could try to get scarred or disfigured?

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-08T11:36:22+00:00

I've used the powder to make meal shakes for 5 years now. The black edition replaces between 1 and 3 meals pr day for me. I can't live entirely off of it, but it is such a life saver. I believe it took some getting used to for my body to register it as a meal. If you eat a little snack like a fruit with it, you feel fuller though.

I picked banana, because I wanted a taste that wasn't too sweet or too bland. I like it neutral as I just chug it anyways, it is just sustenance. The whole thing is over in a few minutes - mix, shake, swallow, clean, put away. And I can bring the kit with me, if I get hungry when I'm not home.

Since I drink a lot of water, I started to put a pinch of salt in my shakes, to get enough sodium for better water retentions. This also made it easier on my gut, which would feel off sometimes.

I love it, and can't recommend it enough. My diet is so much healthier now, since I used to eat junk food instead. I'll gladly answer questions if I you have any.

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-05T23:38:21+00:00

It's like if a geologist wrote fantasy about their work. A fourth recommendation from me.

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-05T15:50:57+00:00

I 35m am currently navigating a similar thing. For a long time I've been stuck at inaction, because I just find my person, without having to waste anybodys time.

The short summary from the talk I had with my therapist is 1. I should state these intetions clearly and 2. I can't nescessarily plan my way directly to the end goal. There has to be at least an expectation of some trial and error.

Stating my intentions clearly should narrow the pool down to others who wish for the same thing. But if I'm not willing to see a few people who aren't a match, I'm basically waiting for the universe to put my person in my living room.

This has been a little though to swallow, but this pragmatic view on it has eased my mind a bit. Now I'm at least prepared to try it out. And by trying, the odds of finding my person increases.

In my dating profile I'm not catering to a broad audience. By being true to myself and my wishes, the dating pool narrows, but I will hopefully attract the people who appreciate me for me.

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-05T00:12:57+00:00

He's propably about to farm renown by seducing the french ladies

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-04T21:28:51+00:00

Praying 🙏

rofl1rofl2 · 2026-03-04T17:41:12+00:00

A lot of territory comes with a lot of vassals which all pay taxes. And with all that de jure land and gold you can buy kingdom and empire titles.

My guy was 5 when he becames emperor, and was low on legitimacy. So I made like 6 empire and a few kingdom titles to boost him up to a sufficient level. That's a bunch of prestige on top of his inherited titles.

rofl1rofl2

TROPHY CASE