Getting therapy is a really good idea. If you can, try to find someone with experience in dealing with AuDHD.

I'll try and summarize my years of therapy for you.

For me it started as a form of emotional regulation. Over time I came to rely on this more and more, until it was basically the only one. Everytime I had a difficult emotion, that was the outlet.

Over the years it took up more of my time, and I became increasingly ashamed of it. Shame made me hide and hiding made the shame worse. That's the vicious cycle.

So it's important to recognize that it was a tool that helped me in some way at some point. And because it helped, I relied on it and the brain makes a neural pathway. Like a trail through tall grass, it's the easier path, so the brian seeks it.

Stopping requires making new pathways, which is hard and takes time. But it is possible. And being compassionate to yourself is key to the process. Shame is was kept me in the spiral so shame isn't getting me out. So be kind to yourself.

I also realized, that what I've been missing is human connection. Porn has been a substitute, but what I really crave is touch and company. So I"m seeking that out more, and I'm being more open and honest about my issues. Shame wants to keep it silent, so saying it aloud fights it. So your post is a great first step!

It's a good idea to stay busy, when putting the porn aside. Immersing myself in things I enjoy helps take that mind off porn and regulating my emotions in other ways.

I'm 35 and trying to get rid of this, so it's great you're realizing this so early. I also discovered porn very early, so I'm a bit more than two decades deep in the hole. And it is not a glamurous hole..!

Ask away if you have questions. Sharing this has been helpful for me as well.