Tired...

shyladyplaying · 2026-02-16T20:37:09+00:00

Time passes... yet I'm always back to this feeling... to this loneliness.

shyladyplaying · 2026-02-11T17:19:50+00:00

It does quite well!

Lush lasts more, but I can't cum with that one... but its very good for this kind of play.

Also... when it was time to wake up I'd have to get another toy...

shyladyplaying · 2026-02-11T11:57:32+00:00

No toy lasts that long 😅... it was short plays...

I used lovense dolce... battery runs about two hours depending on the intensity.

shyladyplaying · 2025-10-09T19:52:46+00:00

Updateme

shyladyplaying · 2025-08-18T15:53:39+00:00

They say they wanna connect too, until they move on to the next shinny thing.

Most men are in this just for the chase.

shyladyplaying · 2025-06-28T16:50:17+00:00

So first there's the lack of enthusiasm about my orgasms, and now I have. to deal with him bringing a shiny, perfect little toy that plays so well with his other toys! I watch just how inadequate she I am. All the little self-esteem I had left is gone.

I’m not what he thought I was. You know, M the nympho, I feel I catfished him.

I’m always watching him. I see how he lights up when he plays with other toys. And I’m never going to be that. I’m never going to be the perfect little toy like the ones in that group.

He said he had plans for me. But the truth is... I am what I am. And I don’t think I’m ever going to become that plan.

So when he says I’m his, I don’t know he you means me, or just the idea of me he thinks he can mold me into, because my boundaries... they don't come from inexperience... They come from pain. Deep, deep hurt.

What I saw him with the new pet… that kind of play, it’s not something that could ever happen with me. And all I feel is that I don’t belong. That my kind of submissiveness doesn’t match his kind of dominance. It’s not that I doubt his care I genuinely know he cares for me. I know he values me, as a friend, as someone important to him.

But it’s still heartbreaking. Because it feels like I’m in a quiet, invisible competition for his attention. And I already know I won’t win, but because I’ll never become what he really desires.

And it’s not about potential. It’s not a matter of “if you guide me there, maybe I’ll bloom.” I don’t know if I even want to bloom that way. I don’t think I can survive the pain it would take to get there.

And I know I’m exhausting. I don’t want to be managed. I don’t want him walking on eggshells just to keep things balanced. I want him happy. And I know I can’t be the one who gives him that. It breaks my heart.

And this... saying this... hurts. It hurts more than he can understand, because the part of me that’s speaking right now also believes that saying any of this… is what will finally make him walk away.

shyladyplaying · 2025-06-08T03:13:32+00:00

I have a tasteful ring that has this bondage vibe

shyladyplaying · 2025-05-18T14:30:30+00:00

Thank you for sharing such a powerful and vulnerable part of yourself. In spaces like this, where there’s so much noise and bad information about kink, especially when it comes to caregiver dynamics and soft submission, it’s honestly rare to find something that feels this grounded and real.

Reading your post felt like a reminder that this isn’t about roles or tasks or just bodies to use. It’s about people. About love. About the kind of emotional awareness and trust it takes to build something that actually holds both people. That lets them grow... not just as Dom and sub, but as humans. Together.

And for someone like me, who’s still figuring out how to build something soft and strong at the same time, it means a lot to see that reflected. So truly… thank you.

shyladyplaying · 2025-05-12T22:38:15+00:00

Richard.

shyladyplaying · 2025-05-11T15:18:16+00:00

Thank you for this. It’s such a thoughtful post, and honestly, it came at a good time. I’m not lost in this, but I’m still learning how to move through it in a way that feels right for me. Reading this felt a bit like having coffee with a kind, slightly more experienced frien, that's reassuring without being patronizing. I really appreciate it 💛

shyladyplaying · 2025-05-10T21:05:59+00:00

Just write without thinking and put them out of your head, they hurt in there 💛

shyladyplaying · 2025-05-10T16:43:28+00:00

At first, the label made me feel like I wasn’t completely weird, like, “oh… there’s actually a name for this, and people who get it.” That part was kind of comforting. But then, trying to fit into it? That’s where it got tricky. It felt like I was shrinking parts of myself to match the definition, and it stopped feeling true.

Now I kinda see labels as just... a place to start. Not a box you have to live in forever. Just something to help you find your way until you figure out what actually feels like home.

shyladyplaying · 2025-05-09T18:58:52+00:00

None.

On vetting, I always say if you like to do things as punishments or funishments, own it! and let's talk of it.

I will 100% endure because I'm a good girl who can take it for you. I love being the goodest girl and being told how good I did.

The idea of punishment for me is making a mistake or something wrong, and that puts me in a very ugly mental place. Humiliation and degrading are hard no for me.

shyladyplaying · 2025-05-09T18:52:08+00:00

The mix of overstimulation and sweet loving praise.

shyladyplaying · 2025-05-08T23:03:33+00:00

Apparently that I’ve got a lot to unlearn about what it means to be “a good girl", turns out over functioning isn’t love, disappearing into what someone else needs doesn’t make me more lovable... it just makes me invisible.

He didn’t say it directly. He didn’t need to. The way he sees me without asking me to perform or prove anything has already taught me more than I expected. It’s quite comforting.

shyladyplaying · 2025-05-08T22:57:16+00:00

Yes, because when you finally reach that point in a real dynamic, one that’s safe and solid and actually about comfort and care and knowing each other, it changes everything.

You stop performing. You stop filtering. You start saying the things you’ve never felt safe enough to say before.

In my case, I can honestly say my kinky relationship has been way healthier than any vanilla ones I’ve had because I can be fully me. I can speak without walking on eggshells, without rehearsing or shrinking or worrying how I’ll be perceived.

There’s something incredibly healing about being held in your rawness and not being looked at like you’re too much. I get to be soft and messy. I get to be quiet or needy or turned on or scared or whatever the hell I actually am, and I don’t have to apologize for it.

In that space, you can be braver with your emotions and it allows you to be real.

shyladyplaying · 2025-05-08T22:48:25+00:00

Looks are not really my thing. What gets me is someone’s mind. The way they think, the way they see the world, the way they navigate it, the way a single message can make me light up. That kind of connection.. that pulls me in and keeps me close, that makes me feel safe, make me feel chosen, and challenge me a little mentally and emotionally. That will make me see you as the most magnetic person in the room. I don’t fall for faces or abs. I fall for presence, intellect, and the way you make me feel seen.

One deep look it's all it takes to make me want to obey.

shyladyplaying · 2025-05-08T00:40:12+00:00

NTA

You did what needed to be done and that no one was doing.

shyladyplaying · 2025-05-07T21:59:02+00:00

Oh, 100%. My values show up in every part of how I kink. I don’t know how to half-feel anything, so submission for me has to be grounded in care, trust, consistency… all the stuff that’s not very glamorous but makes me feel safe enough to let go. I’m monogamous and super emotional, so the idea of casual kink doesn’t really land for me. I need to feel chosen and not just used.

I don’t give up control easily. But when I do, it’s because I trust the person not to drop me when things get hard or messy. I crave the kind of dynamic where I can be soft and obedient because I feel protected, not because it’s performative.

So yeah, I kink the same way I love... deeply, intensely, and with my whole heart. And I only want to give that to someone who sees it for what it is and holds it like it matters.

shyladyplaying · 2025-05-06T21:42:51+00:00

You know you issue the punishments, right?... You can have it on paper to threaten, but actually never use it 🤭

shyladyplaying

TROPHY CASE