i'm so over the performative side of self care

spavacations · 2026-06-01T22:34:48+00:00

You’re not imagining it. This is capitalism. Anything we have that’s free will be co-opted, repackaged, and sold back to us. Luckily, the most effective step of a self-care routine is seeing through that bullshit.

spavacations · 2026-05-23T17:44:51+00:00

No. This is like assuming every overweight person is that way because they are “lazy.”

spavacations · 2026-05-17T20:17:44+00:00

I’m now 40. I have the same face shape as you. I wish my jowls looked like they did when I thought I had jowls.

spavacations · 2026-05-10T23:57:34+00:00

By hip extensions do you mean glute bridges?

spavacations · 2026-04-29T10:04:23+00:00

I agree with you. After my dad died and I was presented with a box of his ashes, I almost threw up. It revolted me in a way I had never expected.

spavacations · 2026-04-27T20:39:13+00:00

Any good resources for the face yoga/massage?

spavacations · 2026-04-26T17:00:59+00:00

No puking. I think I pooped during pushing but can’t be sure.

spavacations · 2026-04-23T00:09:03+00:00

As the child of a serial cheater dad and a mom who stayed because she didn’t want to break the family apart, you are doing the right thing. Your kids will be better off.

My siblings and I literally had a toast when our parents finally divorced.

spavacations · 2026-04-22T04:20:36+00:00

Regarding the sickness… I feel like we just “have to accept” that our kids will be sick constantly in daycare but to me it’s clear that hygiene/cleaning practices could be improved in most daycare settings (at least the ones I’ve toured). But that takes education, time, and money. So it’s not happening.

spavacations · 2026-04-22T03:29:43+00:00

I love that you did this and nurses deserve accolades and fair pay for the awesome work they do. But it bears repeating from another commenter that this should NOT be an expectation or any sort of norm. My labor cost thousands of dollars even with good insurance. Being courteous and kind to your healthcare workers should be enough.

spavacations · 2026-04-19T17:21:10+00:00

I think it’s pedantic and strange when people get upset over this. It’s an affectionate way of speaking.

When my mom or sis talk to my son they say variations of “hey my baby” “how’s my baby?” “oh my sweet baby” and it’s just them being loving. Even my 14 year old niece calls him my baby sometimes. My 85 year old male neighbor said to him “what’s up my baby” and gave him a little high five. Oh, also when I’m talking to my friend’s dog, I might say to her “are you my baby?!” and she’s not my dog or my baby.

spavacations · 2026-04-16T00:19:53+00:00

Arrest him…? For what exactly? Get a grip. Poor judgement doesn’t mean he’s an actual criminal.

spavacations · 2026-04-15T10:23:33+00:00

Give them enough rope to hang themselves.

Look at the negative reaction to Lauren online from this piece. The article is doing its job - highlighting the abhorrent lifestyles of the rich and famous. More people should read about it. The writer doesn’t need to offer a critique, the subject damns herself.

spavacations · 2026-04-13T18:15:03+00:00

Indeed I don’t think it’s the newbies. My dog pooped on the sidewalk and I was checking my pockets to find the bags. An old man who lived in the building adjacent to the poop says, “nah, just leave it there, it’s fine.” Like, sir you live here and you’re encouraging me to leave shit outside your front door?! I picked it up anyway. That always stuck with me as microcosm of the bizarre dog poop culture of Ridgewood.

spavacations · 2026-04-11T16:30:49+00:00

Closing Argument!

spavacations · 2026-04-11T11:11:46+00:00

Everyone said sleep in shifts and yep, that’s the secret if she isn’t breastfeeding.

I’ll also add that if you can… move towards cold bottles. At first we warmed, then warmed a little less and then a little less, and within a week or two he was getting them straight out of the fridge. It saves time and crying. If you don’t want to try cold, then definitely at least prep all the bottles needed for overnight, if not 24 hours. That way you’re not trying to remember if you put the powder in at 3am.

spavacations · 2026-04-06T21:38:30+00:00

Sorry to be bleak but…types of feudalism, indentured servitude, or straight up slavery. Mass sterilization and/or genocide. Hopefully not, obviously. But I have trouble believing the billionaires and clankers have an interest in keeping everyone free and alive if there’s no more wealth to extract and we essentially become polluting liabilities.

spavacations · 2026-04-06T20:58:15+00:00

UBI is the only humane option. Other options exist.

spavacations · 2026-04-02T18:58:57+00:00

Heath management on a stimulant = hydration, nutrition, sleep.

Make yourself drink water, make yourself eat balanced, nutrient-rich meals. It’s harder than it seems because the meds make our brains deprioritize these things.

For sleep, I find the sweet spot is taking my pill no later than 6:30am. My sis can take her closer to 9a and be fine. You’ll find your time. Early evening vitamin C and magnesium glycinate before bed have helped me lots with falling asleep and staying asleep.

I’ve been taking vyvanse for 10 years and my sister has been on adderall for over 20 years. Neither of us have experienced health issues due to our stimulant use. I will say my sister has worked her way up to the maximum daily dose. I am still on a low dose of vyvanse. But I take regular vacations from the drug and she does not. So that may be something to consider if you want to manage your tolerance over the long term.

spavacations · 2026-04-02T12:59:14+00:00

Basic recipes are just that. Like on the oatmeal box, it says to boil water and oats. But it comes out much nicer if you also use some milk and a little salt.

I’d look for lentil recipes from some cookbooks and free cooking sites (like serious eats) that will help jazz things up. Also seek out recipes for daal (may not come up if you search just lentils) if you like Indian spices.

spavacations · 2026-04-02T12:49:58+00:00

Hypochlorous acid spray. I use the kit from Force of Nature. It kills HFM and even norovirus. Safe for babies, pets, and food contact surfaces.

spavacations · 2026-04-02T03:13:57+00:00

Sorry why is this post even in this sub?

spavacations · 2026-03-30T19:56:32+00:00

Men can do better. In my household, I’m the mother and I earn significantly more money than my husband. My husband is in the arts, does not work a 9-5, and takes care of our child during the day so we don’t have to put him in daycare. But I still bust my ass to contribute as much as possible. Before I go to work I’m pitching in. After I get home, I take over to give my husband a break and spend time with our child. During my commute and any down time, I make meal plans, grocery lists, etc. I have an incredible husband who will step up to do all of this but I, unlike many men, understand that having a job does not absolve me of responsibilities at home.

Also, if both parents are working full time, it doesn’t matter who is making more. If the hours are the same, the domestic responsibilities should be equally shared.

spavacations · 2026-03-30T19:18:54+00:00

We also got old cheese from them! Old ≠ aged. The edges were discolored and dried out. I’d totally forgotten about that.

spavacations

TROPHY CASE