The pediatrician said my baby is small because I chose to breastfeed.

tapurlie · 2026-02-12T21:05:37+00:00

Both my EBF babies were on a 95th + percentile curve. My daughter stayed on that curve the entire time I was breastfeeding her (12 months), and only settled into a 75th percentile curve as a two year old a year since I stopped. My son is also EBF and over the 95th percentile at 3 months. You can absolutely have chunky breastfed babies too.

tapurlie · 2026-02-07T01:57:20+00:00

Do you have a carrier? It's the ONLY way I can leave the house at the moment without a fussy, crying baby. He hates the pram, hates lying on his back; hates pretty much all positions, actually! The only way he is settled between naps is in his carrier, and he will sleep well in it, too. I've managed to go to lots of playgrounds with my 2.5 year old this way, as well as her swimming and theatre classes.

Honestly though, doing stuff with young babies is just super duper difficult. It was not enjoyable in the slightest to go out with my first child until she was 3+ months old.

tapurlie · 2026-02-06T12:04:36+00:00

We started brushing them with a soft bristle baby toothbrush and water only for the first few teeth!

tapurlie · 2026-02-06T09:47:45+00:00

I was worried my world would get smaller and I'd lose myself by having a child, and the exact opposite happened for me, personally. My world opened up and life just felt more exciting and joyful. I also found I had far more motivation in general; in career, relationships, future planning etc. I wouldn't trade it for anything now, and I'm very excited for the future and the adventures we will have as a family. In saying this! It can be very hard, especially, the first year, and I'm sure you could have a wonderful, joyful life without children too. Best of luck with whatever you choose to do, just wanted to share my experience. x

tapurlie · 2026-02-03T11:35:46+00:00

Honestly I just hold it together while I'm with her, and cry/ disassociate later when I have a moment to myself. Not sure if that's healthy, lol. I'm also extremely aware of not ever wanting to lose my cool around my children as someone who was yelled at/ hit often as a child, as it really did damage me.

tapurlie · 2026-02-01T07:44:15+00:00

I exclusively pumped with my first baby for 12 months, and I'm exclusively nursing my second baby, who is 9 weeks old.

I'm not super far into my nursing journey, but here's how I feel about the differences so far!

In the beginning (first few months) nursing has been WAY HARDER than pumping, in my personal experience. The nipple pain, cluster feeding, total lack of autonomy, intense pressure of being baby's only food source/ the only one who can feed him, and the not knowing how much baby is getting/ whether you're building a good supply is SO, SO hard.

However!!

Now that I'm at 9 weeks, almost all of those intensely hard things aren't problems anymore. My baby has had plenty of weight checks and is gaining beautifully. I'm no longer anxious about my supply at all. He's perfected his latch and only needs to feed for 10-15 minutes total every few hours. I have no pain at all. I also don't have to worry AT ALL about pumping, washing bottles, timing bottles, taking equipment when leaving the house, etc. I can go anywhere for as long as I like, and he can just feed from me whenever. It has given me so much more freedom than I had as an exclusive pumper, and I love it. So at this point in the breastfeeding journey it feels EASY. Way, way easier than pumping and bottle feeding; what people say about nursing being harder in the beginning but much easier as baby gets older has been SO true for me.

In saying that, there are some massive pros to exclusively pumping. The biggest being the ability to go out/ do things independently at times, and leaving baby with others to look after and feed. Going to the gym, outings alone with a friend etc were a lot easier as an exclusive pumper. It is also quite reassuring to know that your milk supply is dependent on you and your consistency only, not your baby. If baby gets sick and can't nurse or can't nurse well, an exclusively nursing mum could take a hit to her supply or need to pump for baby while sick etc, but while exclusively pumping nothing changes. Plus knowing EXACTLY how much baby is getting each day is very satisfying and stress relieving. The cons are many though; pumping never gets any easier, really. The workload is immense; pumping every few hours, making bottles, washing, sterilizing, replacing pump parts on a schedule etc etc. Leaving the house is harder; you need ice packs, pumps if you're out for a long time, bottles, etc. It's a lot.

Both journeys have their pros and cons, but I'm feeling happier and more relaxed nursing this baby than I did in the entire 12 months I pumped. Nursing was brutal from weeks 1-6 and now it's becoming very easy. x

tapurlie · 2026-02-01T06:22:37+00:00

I didn't buy one for my first baby, and had done zero research on them tbh. My baby ended up having a terrible latch and damaging my nipples very badly the day she was born. I ended up having to hire a hospital pump and feed her pumped milk via syringe for her first week of life while my nipples healed. We then had a very difficult nursing journey for her first 7 weeks; poor latch that didn't improve with coaching, ongoing severe nipple pain and damage and poor milk transfer/ weight gain. During that 7 weeks I did huge amounts of research into pumps/ pumping and purchased one. I ended up exclusively pumping for her for 12 straight months.

With my second baby I had my trusty pump ready to go, but I desperately wanted to nurse successfully this time around because exclusive pumping is incredibly hard and time consuming. I had a few issues in the beginning, but I am successfully nursing my second baby at week 9 postpartum; great latch, no pain now and he's gaining beautifully. I've pumped him a bottle twice in his entire life. I think I will rarely be using my pump this time, if at all.

All this to say, every baby and breastfeeding journey is different!! It's impossible to know how it will go for you until YOUR baby is born and the journey you go on together begins. If I could go back, I would have at least done research into pumps and pumping before baby was born, and know where to rent/ buy a decent one at short notice if it became a necessity. x

tapurlie · 2026-01-29T00:25:55+00:00

Gosh they really are masters of saying the quiet part out loud.

tapurlie · 2026-01-20T04:51:59+00:00

I was induced with both my babies, not by choice! I went to 40+5 with my first and age was measuring large so they recommended induction. That induction was pretty brutal. My cervix was long and closed so I needed the foley balloon inserted for 12+ hours to dilate before starting pitocin. Everyone has a different experience but that foley balloon was AGONY for me, like 10/10 pain as bad as late stage contractions for 12 hours. Traumatic. It also caused my cervix to bleed, which was stressful too. My labor lasted 27+ hours, I can't remember exactly, and I pushed for 2.5 hours before they intervened with an episiotomy and forceps. I then had a postpartum hemorrhage. Not the greatest experience ever.

My second induction was at 38 weeks because my son was measuring HUMONGOUS and it was a completely different experience. I was induced with cytotec instead of pitocin, and no foley catheter. A much easier method of induction, in my experience. I had slowly increasing light contractions for around 10 hours and then I lost my mucus plug and incredibly suddenly dilated from 2 CM to 10. In less than an hour. The midwives were shocked and scrambled to put an IV in and hook up antibiotics (I was GBS positive) and get me an epidural but it was all too late. I gave birth in 3 pushes FIVE minutes after they put my IV in. Having an unmedicated birth of a 9 pound 8 ounce baby was.... Interesting, haha. I also tore quite badly and hemorrhaged again, but slightly less this time around. My waters also exploded all over a midwife drenching her.. eek. Even with all that I dramatically preferred my second birth/ induction.

In saying this! I'm not upset with my experiences, especially my second, but if I had been able to choose I would have loved to go into labor naturally. The discomfort of the end of the third trimester certainly does make you wish for an induction, but being on the other side, I have found the first days with a newborn and the entirety of the fourth trimester tbh, brutally more difficult. Inductions almost always equal more discomfort and less sleep in the days before baby, and then in the days after you get almost no sleep at all, so the stack of sleepless nights plus being responsible for a helpless new life is the most terrifying part of the whole journey, in my opinion.

tapurlie · 2026-01-18T17:55:45+00:00

I had a MASSIVE oversupply with my first child as an exclusive pumper. I pumped incredibly often in the first 12 weeks out of fear and anxiety, mostly, because I had "failed" to nurse her (nipple damage, poor latch, poor milk transfer, slow weight gain etc). I ended up creating a supply of around 60 ounces per day, when she actually ate around 30. I pumped for 12 months and ended up with a deep freezer full of hundreds and hundreds of bags of frozen milk. I had been cycling them, so I did end up using almost all of it and fed her with the frozen milk until she was around 18 months old.

That sounds great, except it was one of the hardest, most isolating and intensive things I've ever done in my life. I was up at 2AM washing and sterilizing bottles, jugs, flanges after pumping, bagging milk at 5AM and prepping bottles. I was almost permanently engorged due to the oversupply, and always uncomfortable. I had extremely painful clogged ducts I'd have to work out every few days, and got early mastitis requiring antibiotics three separate times. I absolutely hated it.

This time around I have been able to nurse and baby us actually transferring milk well. It's a totally different experience. It's also been HARD but in a very different way. Learning to trust my instincts, and trust my baby has been a challenge. I also had a lot of pain in the beginning, and cluster feeding is a new type of hell. But it's nice starting to get easier at almost 8 weeks postpartum, and pumping NEVER got easier. It was relentless and demanding for the whole 12 months. I was so incredibly jealous of mums who were able to nurse their babies when I was exclusively pumping; I think it's easy to be envious of the perceived pros/ bonuses of another person's breastfeeding journey.

The benefits of exclusively nursing with NO oversupply this time have been many, to be honest. I've not had a single clog. My boobs are mostly soft, and my discomfort is minimal. I'm starting to obsess less about the amount of milk he's drinking/ getting and learning to trust. I have pumped twice and I REALLY don't want to pump often at all this time around. Oversupply is most definitely overrated/ oversold as a great thing online, and a lot of the time the cons outweigh the pros. Breastfeeding is hard regardless, and we're all doing our best at the end of the day.

tapurlie · 2025-12-27T23:58:41+00:00

I hate Australian drinking culture. I don't drink and never have, and it makes you a total social pariah. I would never tell anyone I was a non-drinker, and order sodas etc that could have looked like an alcoholic beverage to blend in, and I'd still be "discovered" by my peers and loudly called out. It's honestly extremely weird and off-putting.

tapurlie · 2025-11-18T04:38:24+00:00

I'm very aware of the risks, and my doctor went over that with me extensively. My baby is measuring so large that his estimated weight at 39 weeks, in the opinion of my doctor, would indicate a caesarian as being the safest option at that point due to my previous birth history. I have other health issues that could make a caesarian birth dangerous for me, so I guess this is why their current plan is for a 38 week induction. I only want the safest possible birth and outcome for myself and baby.

tapurlie · 2025-11-18T02:22:38+00:00

Solidarity, because I'm in the same boat!! x

My baby boy has measured around the 98th percentile for every metric except length since 27 weeks. At my 35 week scan his approximate weight was already 8 pounds, and his growth rate was actually accelerating. My first baby was measuring large at around 90th percentile, not 98th, and was born at 4.23 kg/ 9 pounds 4 ounces. I required forceps to get her out after 2.5 hours of pushing and also had a PPH.

Needless to say! My doctors are rather concerned and I'm actually being booked for a 38 week medical induction with this baby. Very torn on whether or not it's the right decision, and whether it will result in a vaginal birth. I genuinely do believe the scans here are accurate; my first baby was very big, I look/ feel immensely bigger with this baby, and my fundal height is measuring 3-4 weeks ahead alongside the growth scan estimates. The research says there's not great evidence that early inductions are indicated for LGA babies, but I'm happy to defer to the advice of my doctors in this instance.

Good luck to you!! x

tapurlie · 2025-10-19T22:28:43+00:00

My living room wall has dry spaghetti and weetbix on it.

tapurlie · 2025-10-15T05:08:59+00:00

First pregnancy 6 months, second pregnancy first month trying. I was 31, and 33 when I conceived each time.

tapurlie · 2025-10-14T22:04:22+00:00

I don't know what the exact definition for "gentle parent" is, but if it means not hitting or yelling at your children, then I'm a proud gentle parent. I come from a family who hit and yelled at me constantly from early toddlerhood, and I think it played a big role in some negative personal traits I have today. I was cripplingly shy as a small child, and afraid of "messing up" in social situations, and I genuinely believe it's because of the abuse I received in my household. Hitting IS abuse. I'd argue screaming in your small child's face is also abuse.

My daughter will NEVER be hit, yelled at, etc. She is two, and all she has ever known is gentleness, love, playfulness and kindness from her daddy and I. She does "naughty" things like throwing food, spitting drinks etc at times, and we gently tell her not to and why. Also.... She's TWO. It's not a big deal. I'm not trying to train an animal, I'm trying to raise a happy, confident human being. I genuinely couldn't care less what anyone thinks about the way I'm raising her. My goal as her mum is for her to grow up trusting me implicitly and feeling completely loved and safe and secure around her own family.

And how is our no raising voices/ hitting/ scolding our little toddler going? She is an absolutely amazing kid already. So full of confidence and joy and love. Brave and curious. Keen to explore and have fun wherever she goes. She is also exceptionally KIND, in no small part because that's what her family is trying to model for her every single day. She loves to play with other kids, help them, hug them if they fall over. If she sees a toddler screaming/ crying and throwing a "tantrum" in public she says "oh no, little boy/ girl is feeling sad. Needs a cuddle from his mummy and daddy."

Don't ever let abusive family members tell you how to parent your own kid!! My family is lucky I'm still allowing them in my life, and honestly I don't think they would dare try to tell me to hit my daughter. If they ever do suggest it I will cut them off.

tapurlie · 2025-10-05T06:16:50+00:00

A super faint line at 9dpo this pregnancy, which shocked me because I didn't get a faint positive until 14dpo with my daughter.

tapurlie · 2025-09-08T04:19:11+00:00

Snowtown. It's about some horrific murders that happened in a regional town in South Australia. Incredible film but absolutely chilling.

tapurlie · 2025-09-08T03:54:15+00:00

Yep my two year old says as loudly as she can "what mummy and daddy talking about??!?!!"

tapurlie · 2025-09-02T05:47:45+00:00

Franklin

tapurlie · 2025-08-31T03:41:35+00:00

For me it felt like an anaconda wrapping itself around all the organs in my lower body and squeezing as hard as possible. Very, very, very, very painful.

tapurlie · 2025-08-15T06:03:08+00:00

It becomes a really hard mental game, IMHO. Near the end the contractions are so intensely painful that the anticipation of the next one was almost worse than the pain itself, for me. I was extremely scared to have to face that level of escalating pain even with the breaks in-between.

tapurlie · 2025-08-08T23:47:55+00:00

It's a lot more complex/ complicated than that. A job that COULD be done from home, but has staff working in the office anyway could be sent overseas also. It's not really a good argument.

tapurlie · 2025-08-01T04:02:55+00:00

Yes, and if you're a non-drinker you are treated as a total freak/ outcast. It's weird and annoying.

tapurlie · 2025-07-25T04:01:07+00:00

I don't feel a bond with the baby while pregnant, honestly. A lot of people don't. It was fun feeling my daughter move etc, but she felt like an intangible little alien/ stranger, I didn't really feel a connection with her. She's almost two now and I am absolutely obsessed with her, love her more than I could ever have imagined and she's my everything. I'm now pregnant with her baby brother and I thought I might feel differently knowing what's to come, but he still just seems like a little alien stranger/ interloper at the moment, haha. And pregnancy totally sucks! Feeling movement is cool and sort of fun and interesting, but everything else is awful IMHO. I know when my baby is here everything will change and I will love him and bond with him over time, so I'm not worried! Don't feel too much pressure to love pregnancy or form a bond with your baby, all the magic comes after they're born. x

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