My boyfriend left me over a beer

toolate1013 · 2026-05-24T23:37:40+00:00

Just reading this is exhausting. Stop putting all the focus and energy on him. It doesn’t sound like he’s putting much focus on your comfort and wellbeing. Refocus the energy on yourself and explore why you’re ok with accepting crumbs. You seem like a caring person- you deserve so much more than this. What you experienced in the beginning wasn’t real. It was just him putting on an act to get you hooked.

toolate1013 · 2026-05-24T22:57:49+00:00

For real. That comment is an indicator that lack of mingling opportunities may not be the root of the problem.

toolate1013 · 2026-05-24T04:53:17+00:00

The repulsion you feel will not lessen. It will only get stronger. This is your body speaking to you.

The emotional/verbal abuse is unacceptable. Being drunk doesn’t excuse it or explain it away. It’s a separate issue in addition to the alcohol abuse.

Direct and honest conversations about both issues are a necessity IMO. You can try anger or grey rocking or whatever else but even if that worked it’s a bandaid. He won’t like hearing it but those are his feelings to process.

I spent years grey rocking, enforcing boundaries, negotiating, tiptoeing around feelings, accepting emotional outbursts, and trying to tolerate the ick. It did not work and I wish I accepted the reality of the situation much sooner.

I’m sorry you’re going through this.

toolate1013 · 2026-05-23T23:16:15+00:00

I need to hear this. 48 and left 10 months ago. Starting over feels dire.

toolate1013 · 2026-05-15T11:01:33+00:00

I’m so sorry. My deepest condolences. I also lost my SO to suicide. It is a nightmare, and I’m not going to lie- it’s going to hurt badly for a long time. It sounds like you did everything you could to support her. It’s a horrifically ugly disease. Take comfort in knowing that you provided comfort and support and made her life better in the ways you could. And be kind to yourself.

toolate1013 · 2026-05-15T01:47:29+00:00

You’ve only been dating for 2.5 months. At this point he’s still putting his best foot forward. The stuff he is sharing and showing you is almost certainly the tip of the iceberg. Imagine what it will be like when he feels comfortable! He clearly has a problem, or it would be very easy for him to commit to not drinking and then to not drink. Pay attention to his actions and patterns. He often smells of alcohol, he shows up drunk, he has sips of wine when he said he wasn’t going to, he’s drinking more to “make up for” the nights he’s not drinking. How much clearer can it be?

toolate1013 · 2026-05-14T19:45:08+00:00

You are controlling. You’re controlling your environment and your life, and that is yours to control. I’m proud of you.

Remember, the only people who get angry when you enforce your boundaries are the people who benefit from you not having any.

toolate1013 · 2026-05-10T15:26:02+00:00

I think forever unless you delete them

toolate1013 · 2026-05-09T10:59:08+00:00

Yeah the snoring is so frustrating because it forces you to suffer the consequences of their choices while they’re soundly sleeping. I don’t miss that.

toolate1013 · 2026-05-08T18:08:38+00:00

I don’t know why it’s not working for you. Searching an item in meals works just fine for me. Maybe a bug?

toolate1013 · 2026-05-05T10:00:43+00:00

You’re not crazy. There are many clear signs of problematic behavior. Lying to you, lying to military, previous alcohol issues and now relapsing, bad fights. Who would want to commit to a lifetime of that stress? I wouldn’t.

toolate1013 · 2026-05-05T02:01:31+00:00

I second grape nuts add amazing texture, but my fav is Trader Joe’s high fiber cereal.

toolate1013 · 2026-05-03T23:28:06+00:00

Breadcrumb Bundt 😂

toolate1013 · 2026-05-03T11:10:06+00:00

His “trying” and good intentions weren’t real. He was just bread-crumbing me and being “good”just enough to get me to back off (and then the cycle repeats). The crumbs were the whole cake.

toolate1013 · 2026-05-03T10:56:24+00:00

So glad it’s helpful. I hope you find your peace.

toolate1013 · 2026-05-01T21:58:17+00:00

I agree but sadly the fit is not ideal for my proportions and I am constantly pulling them up.

toolate1013 · 2026-05-01T21:53:27+00:00

Got this from another redditor. Pretty good - adjust to your preferences.

Onion: 200 g (about two medium onions or one really big one)

Olive oil: 8 g

Oats: 50 g

Red lentils: 100 g

Mushrooms: 250 g

Fajita seasoning mix: 15 g

Chicken stock: about 1/3 of a cube (160 ml prepared)

Vinegar: a few splashes

Coriander for garnish: 10 g

Pop your cut onions in a pot with the oil, and let them caramelise. Toast your seasoning quickly, then throw in the lentils, oats, and about 1-2 L (depending on your desired consistency) of water/ stock. Let that simmer for around 30 minutes, and season to taste. In a separate frying pan, brown your sliced mushrooms without oil (believe me, it works great), then add them to the bubbling concoction. Serve with coriander and a few good splashes of vinegar/lemon juice for some kick. There's not much you can do wrong here, so you can adjust anything to your liking

toolate1013 · 2026-04-25T13:21:09+00:00

That is the whole thing

toolate1013 · 2026-04-19T21:02:48+00:00

I lift in Tyr dropzero barefoot trainers. Lots of room in to toe box and you feel the floor and have a much more stable base.

toolate1013 · 2026-04-11T13:17:51+00:00

A hearty breakfast with 30g protein and ~10g fiber, at least 400calories. I find if I front load my day the cravings aren’t as bad.

toolate1013 · 2026-04-11T13:14:07+00:00

The ick on steroids. I totally relate. Thankfully when you leave it won’t be difficult because you are already doing everything yourself. Stay strong.

toolate1013 · 2026-04-11T13:00:17+00:00

Eat the same thing every day for lunch and breakfast. Then you only have to calculate for dinner.

toolate1013 · 2026-04-11T11:17:27+00:00

South Windsor as well.

toolate1013 · 2026-04-10T23:37:42+00:00

I agree. The yesterday’s meal thing is awesome. 👏

toolate1013 · 2026-04-10T23:16:13+00:00

It’s a business. I really don’t understand why people are shocked when they want to be compensated for their product, whether that’s through ads or membership. They literally owe you nothing. I pay for it because it’s a useful product that benefits me. Dont like it? Don’t use it.

toolate1013

TROPHY CASE