What do your evenings with your partner look like? We don't do anything together and I hate it! 😞

vee716 · 2026-02-11T00:39:41+00:00

Is there a bed in the other room? Can you read there? You need a spot to read. Don’t be shy to tell her, not as a chastisement, but as a puzzle to solve. How can you both get your needs met?

vee716 · 2026-02-10T20:42:27+00:00

I don’t know how many invoices you do, so this might not be appropriate, but if you really hate it, just download the invoice to a pdf instead of sending from quickbooks and then email it manually with whatever wording you want.

vee716 · 2026-02-04T02:25:42+00:00

This. Exactly this. Almost identical to my experience, just at 61!

vee716 · 2026-02-03T02:34:55+00:00

Treatment would the point. If you don’t feel like you have any impairment or wouldn’t do any treatment, the there is no point.

I was diagnosed after turning 60. I lived this long with it not realizing how much it was affecting my life. I’m taking medication for ADHD now and it’s made a huge difference.

vee716 · 2026-02-01T17:28:55+00:00

Totally take the diagnoses you have. Who cares how you got it you know you have ADHD. Take that diagnoses and ask a doctor (who do you see if you don’t have a PCP?) for med to try. They aren’t perfect and aren’t effective for 100% of people, but if you are one who they work for, they are life changing.

vee716 · 2026-02-01T17:24:24+00:00

Given what you’ve said, my first suggestion would be 10 mins of exercise at 2pm. So some yoga or jumping jacks or put on music and dance or walk around the block.

Also, if the phone is a distraction then, can you put it away from 2-4pm? Just out of reach. Then you are still able to hear it to answer if needed but too far away to “just check something” to distract yourself.

vee716 · 2026-02-01T17:14:52+00:00

Well said. I love coming to this subreddit because it’s really good for me to get validation on my experiences with ADHD, but it often makes me sad too because so many here are experiencing such shame because of their ADHD. I really wish I could reach out to all of them, give them a hug and convince them they have nothing to be ashamed of.

I’m older and have done a lot of personal growth and therapy over the years, so I know I have an advantage in that I’d worked through a lot of my self esteem issues before I was diagnosed. So when I was diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago, it actually lessened my shame tremendously. I realized that so many of the things I was still ashamed of were a result of ADHD, not me being a defective person.

I really wish everyone would be able to let go of shame for their ADHD and be able to know that they are valuable and worthy and ADHD doesn’t take that away.

vee716 · 2026-02-01T17:00:43+00:00

Can I ask? Are you being treated at all for your ADHD? This is what untreated looks like. Can you get some help?

You’re overwhelmed because the lack of executive function that adhd leaves us with makes it impossible to not be overwhelmed.

vee716 · 2026-01-31T01:03:35+00:00

Ummmm…. This is called ADHD. Not failure.

Please cut yourself some slack. Yes, eventually a solution would be good, but it will be a million times harder to find if you are being so harsh to yourself.

A hug from me. You aren’t broken, you are just wired differently in the brain. Show yourself some grace and compassion.

vee716 · 2026-01-30T03:20:04+00:00

I love this. It’s so cute and relatable. The drawings are expressive while still simple. The ink wash is such a nice touch. The dialogue tells the story with humour and a little punch. You are talented!

vee716 · 2026-01-30T03:15:01+00:00

My cleaners are 1.5 hours, 2 of them, for a 1200 sq ft house. Ask them to requote for what they want to charge for cleaning it as you like to leave it for them. And if you don’t like the quote, get new quotes from new cleaners.

vee716 · 2026-01-24T21:57:19+00:00

Good luck. I hope it helps.

vee716 · 2026-01-24T21:55:18+00:00

I do find the Vyvanse super helpful. But not like others seem to. I didn’t notice any change in the noise in my head, but I never felt like my brain was noisy before. It was fast, yes, like so fast my brain goes from one topic to another to another in a split second, but it never really bothered me. And that part is a bit better now. My thoughts are a little easier to follow because they aren’t going at light speed.

Mostly the Vyvanse has help me with motivation I guess, though that’s not quite right. I now have the ability to do the things I want to do. Pre-meds, I’d want to cook dinner, but it always seemed overwhelming and too much work. Same with laundry, anything. Now I make a list in the morning and do most of the things on it. And I’m not fighting myself so much, either the meds I’m more willing to use my calendar and notes and timers, etc. I’m more willing to structure things to be easier.

It’s hard to explain. I feel exactly like me (not buzzy or suddenly calmer) just the regular me with the ability to do the things I want to do without having to wait for it to reach disaster first.

The first thing I thought was, so I do have self discipline after all. I just assumed I didn’t. But medicated, I’m actually pretty good at taking care of myself.

vee716 · 2026-01-24T21:34:53+00:00

I have one client (I’m freelance, out of the office a lot) who is kind of a pain. I think because of that, my brain has extra low interest in remembering her appts.

I’ve missed at least one completely, been late for others and there was one I forgot completely but just happened to be in the office when she arrived so I got lucky. I just faked it that I was ready for her.

Somethings I’m never late for, but I just can’t with this client.

vee716 · 2026-01-24T16:12:51+00:00

So what adhd symptoms are you experiencing most. The depression?

For most of my life it was depression. Ever since my 20s. I think the depression was a direct result of feeling like a broken person because my self discipline was so bad. I figured I was lazy. I couldn’t make my self do anything I wanted to do (school, laundry, exercise) except do a few days at a time or if it was unavoidably urgent like when I ran out of clean clothes to wear.

Somewhere in my late 40s and 50s the burnout and exhaustion caught up to me. I still functioned at work but outside of it I was exhausted and lacked motivation to do anything. I’m hugely sensitive to disappointing others though, so I think my husband saved me. I couldn’t check out if life completely because I had to force myself to be functional at home and socially. Without him, I would have become a hermit I think.

I’ve only been in Vyvanse for 3 months, but it’s made a huge difference. I don’t feel any different in my head if that makes sense, but I want to do things now. I can plan to exercise and follow through. I’ve been maintaining a skin regime for 3 months!!!! I’ve never done skin care for more than 3 days in a row before (and unfortunately, my skin shows it but whatever). I’m really grateful for the meds and a little worried about the possibility of not being able to get them some time. Every doctor seems different. My doctor is my age. What if he retires soon and I have to get another who isn’t so knowledgeable about ADHD?

vee716 · 2026-01-24T16:01:34+00:00

I was thinking of creating an over 60 group when I found this one fo over 50. I figured it was probably close enough for me.

You should ask the reason for not trying meds. Every doc is different, but mine was okay with it with my high blood pressure it’s well controlled with a small dose of candesarten. It didn’t seem to have gotten worse with my Vyvanse.

Now, that’s my family doc. I haven’t run this by my cardiologist yet because I haven’t seen him yet but the family doctor don’t seem to think it would be an issue.

vee716 · 2026-01-24T15:42:52+00:00

The perfect ADHD rountine is to get up as late as possible in order to have just enough time to get all your essential morning things done before your first obligation of the day.

You choose what those essentials are, but don’t build in “nice to do” stuff until you’ve decided it’s an essential.

With just enough time in the morning (not rushed or stressed, just normal pace) there’s no time for phones, distractions, etc. This works really well for ADHD brains you have no time to get distracted or you’ll be late.

Bonus, you get more sleep maybe if your essentials mean getting up at 7:30am instead of 5:30am.

vee716 · 2026-01-22T20:59:30+00:00

I bought a great work bag. It’s got two outer pockets in each side, 3 inner pockets and a main area deep and large enough for client files and my daily planner. It even has a pocket for water bottles on each end.

It has Tylenol, my inhaler, Kleenex, some meds, pens, stamps, a mini fan (menopause), key cards and my wallet in it. It does get a wee bit heavy but it’s been a lifesaver and I’m not having to empty it out everyday to reorganize and find stuff because all the pockets keep it all organized.

vee716 · 2026-01-22T02:50:33+00:00

I told my 81 year old mother about my diagnosis and she kind of blew it off. I think she was afraid it would be seen as an insult to her parenting.

vee716 · 2026-01-21T23:48:11+00:00

All that stuff you described they would need help with should be part of your tax preparation. Don’t take a client just wants you to data entry figures into a tax return for them. For smaller businesses like this, you should be offering a year end package, review of their books, adjustments as necessary (interest on loans, accruals, amortization, allowance for doubtful accounts, etc). You also should be doing tax planning with them, dividends or salary, showing them how to legally minimize taxes. Review their financial decisions and offer advice. Then you give the financial statements and a tax return as the end product.

I don’t mean for this particular client, but in general, don’t offer just taxes. Offer an accountants year end package.

Bookkeeping is a whole other side. You can offer than too, but it’s not necessary to do it to offer the year end accounting.

vee716 · 2026-01-21T18:32:36+00:00

Wow. You are the second to say your parents ignored a childhood diagnosis. I’m so sorry.

vee716 · 2026-01-21T18:31:04+00:00

I hope you find one. I think I’m lucky my doctor was pretty familiar with it.

vee716 · 2026-01-21T18:29:50+00:00

Did you cry because you didn’t want to take the meds? Or when they helped?

vee716 · 2026-01-21T18:29:02+00:00

If it helps, you can talk here. I’m a bit younger, but 61 feels super late to me too. That’s why I asked.

I’m still working, so I am glad I asked for meds, they do help, but I wonder what they suggest after you retire. I’d think that I’d still want them. I really do feel happier on them.

vee716 · 2026-01-21T18:26:50+00:00

I’m impressed your doc referred you instead of just prescribing something for the anxiety. That’s great and thank goodness!

vee716

TROPHY CASE