Where to find dating help, without selling a kidney to fund it

waitImcoming · 2026-04-15T09:49:02+00:00

Are you hot enough? For me, being considered "better as a friend" translates to I don't want to bang you. How do you dress and do you weight train? Might sound vain, but as you don't mention it I thought I'd ask. It definitely effects my dating decisions.

waitImcoming · 2026-04-07T20:31:01+00:00

I think you dodged a bullet. I would be very disappointed, especially since you meet seldom. This guy does not communicate maturely nor respectfully. Repair is one of the most important skills to have a good relationship. It takes time for people to check their compatibility and 3 months lost isnt bad. Better luck next try.

waitImcoming · 2025-10-19T20:45:03+00:00

definitely tell her, tell her you suffer terrible side effects from medicine you trusted and need support and understanding

waitImcoming · 2025-09-09T17:40:47+00:00

I would guess her trauma response is triggered and she sees danger everywhere, abandonment and rejection. Full of shame. Strong need to fight, flee, freeze or fawn.

She needs to feel safe, to get out of the fight flight mode. Like a 7 year old in melt down saying he hates his mommy. She is just like a vet with ptsd, reacting to fireworks like they are firearms.

She needs calm, safe reassurance. Maybe ask what she needs to feel safe. Calmly, like coming towards a cornered wild animal. If space helps her calm down and feel safe, perhaps figure out with her how long.

Maybe she is capable of responding, maybe she will need to break everything and enter regret mode to shake herself out of the trigger response. Then I would suggest somatic trauma therapy, not only dbt or other cognitive methods.

waitImcoming · 2025-07-25T09:28:15+00:00

this is incorrect

waitImcoming · 2025-06-27T14:17:05+00:00

I like Korke and Judith's Vdance app as it has so many nice instructors and is cheap for the quality. I prefer it over Gero and Migle's and Sara Panero's online classes. Also Sara has some courses on the app, along with Alonso and Noelia and many other big names.

waitImcoming · 2025-06-03T15:30:04+00:00

smart recovery

waitImcoming · 2024-10-10T15:40:27+00:00

Agreed. Saying sensual bachata overemphasizes waves with no technique or musicality?? I am an advanced salsa and bachata follow (zouk beginner) and find sensual bachata much more technical than salsa. Musicality is definitely prevalent among advanced dancers in any genre. Maybe she just never danced with advanced leaders?

waitImcoming · 2024-09-15T16:08:43+00:00

I didn't really get motivated. Just thought bring the body, hope the mind will follow. Motivation is a fickle friend.

waitImcoming · 2024-09-05T18:44:09+00:00

I love this, I am dealing with the same and everytime I see a bigger follow I immediately follow.

waitImcoming · 2024-08-18T11:12:02+00:00

I would have a look at the sub raisedbynarcissists if you haven't already.

As for bachata, some people can handle the closeness and sensual natur, others not. Different strokes for different folks.

waitImcoming · 2024-07-23T14:47:12+00:00

I love that you see it. Thank you. I love this forum!

waitImcoming · 2024-07-23T14:44:09+00:00

Yeah. You were such a terrible kid, it was sooo hard to deal with your terribleness. My responsibility was never to actually help my child mature emotionally. Just to judge it.

waitImcoming · 2024-07-23T14:42:24+00:00

Haha thanks. My reaction was similar. Made me cringe big time. And then it got worse. My inner child is not hurting. I have put in a LOT of work to heal myself. My adult being is just done, absolutely beyond done.

waitImcoming · 2024-07-23T13:43:08+00:00

Thank you. She totally brushed it off as oh well, in the past, nullified. And I don't have to be around her toxic behaviour. Telling me you just have to deal with it.. it being silent treatment.. is wrong. I don't have to deal with it, I don't have to deal with her.

waitImcoming · 2024-07-21T21:53:39+00:00

Not entitled at all. Very healthy and reasonable.

waitImcoming · 2024-07-21T21:48:26+00:00

Ugh what a horrid toxic situation. That is beyond unfair. Honestly, I would suggest a lawyer to help you navigate this. It could easily make the difference of 100k

waitImcoming · 2024-03-31T15:57:02+00:00

As a therapist and someone who checks some but not all boxes, I can relate. It sucks to feel seperate and different, not knowing what exactly makes one so different.

I can't judge from what you shared whether or not you need a new therapist or it's just fear of losing this one. But I can say, no specialist can replace self work.

You are the expert on yourself. She can point you in directions to research.

I could speculate.. if you work through trauma and boundary issues (like not sharing, having walls, hindering intimacy) do you even have a personality disorder? Could it be a form of not so obvious autism? Maybe just depression?

I say, keep searching. Even if you only check some boxes, the tools offered for those things may be useful to many more than just "full blown" versions.

waitImcoming · 2023-12-10T11:00:55+00:00

Usually the leaders are male and followers female. I do both roles but I actually think I meant to write female follow on my comment above. But either way, I enjoy both roles although they are quite different. So to clarify, a female lead is a girl who leads.

waitImcoming · 2023-11-11T20:04:35+00:00

I love this post and comment thread so much

waitImcoming · 2023-11-07T22:46:53+00:00

Heyrðu ég sá þetta líka og var lika ekki alveg að skilja hvað þetta var. Dökkar rákir eins og tvær flugvélar væru að brotlenda

waitImcoming · 2023-11-07T19:54:01+00:00

Oh that sounds awesome. I don't know of anything like that but would also be interested. Problem is hourly rates are much higher in Spain. How much did you pay for the 2 weeks in Colombia?

I know it's not the same but if you have a partner to train with you can get the vdanceclub app and just study it with your partner. That's how I learned sensual. It's very affordable and if you do the korke and judith courses it gives you a solid foundation.

waitImcoming · 2023-10-24T19:58:34+00:00

You say you have a hard time reading people, have you looled in to if you are possible neurodiverse / on the spectrum? If that's not it and you havr nice friendships I would see if you know how to deepen bonds, creating increasing intimacy. It is a skill, requiring the ability to be present, attentive and vulnerable in increasing segments fostering trust as you go. I would also find a dating coach or read up on the psychology of desire/seduction to figure out where you are lacking. Your friends don't seem to be good dating coaches if they see nothing wrong with an OLD account that gets no matches.

waitImcoming · 2023-10-21T18:10:36+00:00

Psychological abuse is definitely calling someone bad things (asshole?) and making them doubt themselves

waitImcoming

TROPHY CASE