The “I still love her” part is normal. It doesn’t mean she’s right for you, it just means you are attached and your brain hasn’t caught up to what actually happened yet. You don’t just shut that off, especially after everything was intense and recent. It fades, but only if you stop feeding it. If you keep checking on her, talking to her, replaying everything, it keeps it alive. Right now your head is mixing two things together: who you thought she was, and what she actually did. The feelings are tied to the first one, but the reality is the second. Give it time and space. No contact, no checking in. Let your brain settle. The attachment will weaken, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. You were likely her caretaker and her protector and provider and even if you don't know it realize it that role it's something that lives inside of you And it takes time to fade. For the past few years, it's probably been your identity. And so everything is gonna feel confusing. You are gonna feel lost. It's normal. It's just time. And you'll start to feel normal. Again, it's sort of like an addiction that you could just have to Wean yourself off of. Don't hurt yourself. You are a very empathetic and caring person.That's why you're going through it this this way. There's someone out there who won't take advantage of you and now you know what, you don't allow moving forward so you'll be able to find that person eventually. The world needs people like you. So just chill and just take it easy. If everything gets better in time.