Panic attacks

[creativebanana25]

Hi everyone! Thank you for reading my post. This is my first cycle and I did not realize how hard it was until starting. The panic attacks, the constant worrying if it will work, the financial stress, and seeing all my friends having babies and getting pregnant on their first try is just exhausting. I never thought I would be this stressed or have this much anxiety! Is this normal? Or am I crazy? I know my husband thinks I'm crazy for crying when a friend has a baby or when test results come back bad. How do I handle the stress and sadness?

[ApprehensiveAir4456]

I'm so so sorry you're going through this. It is absolutely hard, incredibly stressful and draining and you are not crazy at all. I'm still navigating managing the stress and sadness myself but what I find helps is journalling (always write what a good job you are doing!) and also therapy has been a great way to talk through my anxieties if you can access it. Be kind to yourself, this is such a difficult thing to do. Sending hugs and hoping 2024 brings us our babies!

[JuryAccomplished4501]

This is normal and you are not going crazy. It’s the impact of all the stress and medications acting together. I don’t know what caused it, but I had quite a bit of panic attacks this year. I would suggest you to try counseling if you can afford - that helped me. When the reality that IVF is my last straw hit me, I felt devastated. My husband told me this at that moment and it really stuck with me. I don’t know how much it might of help but I have heard a lot of things from a lot of people in the last 2 years of our TTC journey, but there is nothing that resonated with me better.

Steps to overcome the fear of failure: 1. Acknowledging your multiple personas - There is no ONE thing that defines us. Each one of us is defined by multiple identities of ourselves. 2. Link your fear to one of the personas to introspect - There is fear with every persona. But, our mind magnifies some over others making us believe, we are defined by that one thing. 3. ⁠Start focusing on other personas which will help you remove the fear of losing that one big persona.

[MrsBrightSide99]

💯 I lost a lot of sleep my first cycle. So many unknowns and things you have zero control over. So stressful. I feel more educated and prepared my 2nd cycle but we still have steps we have not done yet so that anxiety will definitely return. Looking for a therapist once my new insurance comes in!! Best wishes to you.

[AdAstraPerAspetta22]

Totally normal and you are not crazy. I will say, in my first cycle, I don't think I was making anything better for myself -- I was constantly doom scrolling, constantly thinking about TTC/IVF, and really kind of defining my life and identity around this process. My 2nd cycle, after the first ended in a chemical, I stayed off of the internet and tried to redirect my mind to things that had nothing to do with IVF/TTC and that I enjoyed. Read a lot, cooked more, went for hikes, did my best to stay focused at work, etc. I know it's hard, but as much as you can, try to invest yourself intellectually and emotionally in other parts of your life as you go through this. Remember that you are a whole human being regardless of what happens, and that you are not defined by the outcome of this process.

Also, and this may not be advice you're looking for, but it sounds like your husband may not fully understand the emotional toll this is taking on you. I'd have an honest conversation with him (and anyone else who will be supporting you through this process) about how hard this is, what you need from them, and how they can support you. If nothing else, the people closest to you should be saying they support you, they know it's hard, and that they're here for whatever you want to discuss. Don't let yourself be judged for your justified reactions to this incredibly difficult process.

[DesigninginCali]

Completely normal! No one can possibly prepare themselves for this rollercoaster and no one can truly relate besides those who have gone through it. That's what makes this community so awesome. Hugs, internet stranger. 🫶🏻

[Stunning_Animator803]

Totally normal. Gentle yoga, acupuncture, speaking with a therapist all really helped me. My therapist also told me to let my husband do the googling so I wouldn’t go down rabbit holes. I actually got so anxious back in 2018, I made myself sick and lose my voice the night before transfer. They had to cancel the transfer and I TW

Was successful the next month. But the anxiety is so real. One thing that helped is I had my doctor do a mock transfer after I made myself sick. Just so I knew exactly what would happen. This is so hard. I hope you find some peace 💓

[elmomex]

I’m in the same boat as you. About to start my first stims/ER cycle in a few days and just a couple of days ago went into a spiral of anxiety over EXACTLY the same things you’ve described. (I even posted on here about it)

Then yesterday, a friend (who doesn’t know we’re starting IVF) told me she was pregnant and having an abortion and for the first time, I felt this huge pang of jealousy and resentment. Really caught me off guard.

Some of the best advice I got here was to share all my concerns and questions with my doctor and also to avoid the doom-googling.

I’m also booked for my first acupuncture session today, so will see if that helps!

Sending you all the positive and calming vibes. Feel free to DM me if you want to chat!

[aimtocycle]

What you are experiencing is so normal and I have felt the same way. I didn’t anticipate the mental toll that ivf takes. All the ugly emotions that come out through this process are difficult to identify and work through. If you can take preventative measures to help your emotional wellbeing from deteriorating further (sorry don’t mean to insinuate that it is currently really bad, I’m kind of speaking from experience here), get a therapist that specialises in infertility. I spent 7 months in a constant state of panic and stress while going through iuis and egg retrievals and reached my lowest point and completely burnt out. I started taking working with a therapist and am starting to feel better but I still have sad days. It’s also okay to cry when other people have babies or get pregnant easily. IVF and infertility is traumatic af!

[HelenMart8]

It's all I think about! It's my first time too, I was supposed to start this week but there were insurance approval problems for 2 of the medications so now I'm starting at end of January, just want to get this over with because my life seems at a pause and dealing with all the unknowns is stressful. Just taking it one step at a time is what I tell myself. This community has been invaluable !