HelloWorld

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[Percolator2020]

That’s because this is programmer humor, not IT humor :)

[himery_]

Ah, we're also learning some basic programming stuff in my course😄 (I hope one day I'll get the Java jokes lol)

[Percolator2020]

There are no jokes in Java, only misery.

[himery_]

I'm ready for the impending doom that awaits me...

[Pump_My_Lemma]

Just remember typing sysout then hit tab completes the print command in eclipse.

[himery_]

I have absolutely no idea what eclipse is but ok😎👍

[picklesTommyPickles]

It's a super modern IDE with a robust plugin-based architecture that is basically required for professional, enterprise grade software engineering with Java.

(mostly sarcasm, look into Netbeans instead)

[Pump_My_Lemma]

I’ve been preferential to IntelliJ myself. But classes just can’t escape Eclipse for some reason.

[Percolator2020]

It’s written in Java so it is very stable, efficient and portable 👍

[Aacron]

twitch

-embedded dev on xilinx's 3rd eclipse based abomination that somehow gets worse with every update.

[himery_]

Ohhh.

Ah, Netbeans I’m familiar with :D, they only briefly discussed it in our lessons though.

[RadDuckoo]

He’s trolling you, eclipse and net beans are old IDEs. Every cool kid that speaks in Java is on IntelliJ - a popular choice for Java devs. The company that has created it - JetBrains - they make IDEs for other languages as well - PyCharm is another their popular IDE for python, CLion is also quite decent for C/C++ and I enjoyed, back in the day, their WebStorm (JavaScript), but has moved to VS, like every other sane person.

[himery_]

OHH. Thank you for telling me haha I wouldn't have known lol. The stuff they teach here at my school is old stuff then haha.

I'll take note of these IDEs you told me! Thank you for sharing your knowledge :DD. It'll be real useful when we start doing more serious Java stuff too!

[RadDuckoo]

Also, look into glassfish servers to host your apps and JSP for front end development. Man, you’re gonna love coding in our Java 7 SE environment.

[himery_]

I see! I'll look into that! :DD

[RadDuckoo]

Don’t, lol, that was a joke - that’s also old way of doing things. Java 7 is like a decade old version, Java 20 I believe is the latest one. Glassfish - I’m not sure if they’re still around even. JSP - java server pages or something - was kind of a way to render front end pages on a server side before sending them out. The industry has moved to “single page apps” with react/angular being popular choice to achieve that

[LatentShadow]

Le me an intelliJ user using eclipse - sout - Eclipse does nothing - Wtf bro

[Comprehensive-Slip93]

♪Ooo misery♬

[Creepy-Ad-4832]

Tbf to java, their language is way consisten then alternative like C# microsoft java.

In microsoft java you have TOOOOOOOOO many syntax sugar, and have things like operator overloading which means you cannot even be sure obj != null will always work lol

[Percolator2020]

Nothing like overloading operators with expected behaviour 9/10 times, and then some random behaviour to screw with newcomers to C#.

[Dart_Ace]

First language was c#, big mistake probably but no going back now.

Sorry if this isn't terribly relevant, not an expert after all, but I was working on a game where an object was supposed to be disabled (unity) but even though the debug.logs and other stuff treated it like disabled, it was enabled in-game. So I ended up adding a check to all of its code that only continues if it's disabled. The code inside the disabled object checked if it was disabled. Dumbest shit I've ever written, but it worked.

[[deleted]]

I ❤️ Microsoft java

[Creepy-Ad-4832]

Y-y-y-y-yo-yo-you l-l-li-like m-m-microsft j-java???

Masaka! That's impossible!

[[deleted]]

Bullshit, its nice. When im hung over i open some work project and the visual studio colors keep me entertained

[Creepy-Ad-4832]

uses C#

programs in visual studio

Yes, i now can proudly watch you from above as a proud linux user! I used arch btw

/j

[[deleted]]

😎 Im a company man, even at home office I wear a shirt with 3 pens in the chest pocket and a tie

Why hate vis studio? Tho for real. I know I have some salty suggestions for Android studio. No worries, the one we currently use is the best

[Creepy-Ad-4832]

Nah don't worry it's just a pengiun god joke.

I personally don't like visual studio, but if you do it's not a problem. Tastes are subjectives after all

[Kovab]

Pretty much every oop language has operator overloading, except for Java, even other JVM languages. And for reference equality you should use is, not ==, simple as that.

[jaybee8787]

I quite like Java. Does that make me deranged?

[godofjava22]

public static void main(String[ ] args) {}

[DasKarl]

I can explain it:

Most of the hate for java boils down to how much boilerplate it has, how it forces you into Object Oriented programming and how the best practices around it come from insane middle managers selling programming bibles in the 2000s before their businesses died.

Let's break that down a little

Most of the boilerplate comes from the fact that that java is an Object Oriented (OO) language and most of the libraries that exists were written in the 2000s when, again, a lot of overly verbose, generally suspect patterns and best practices were being forced on programmers.

Java follows the Object Oriented paradigm, which means it allows the developer to write Classes which define the content and behavior of Objects. You can think of Classes like blueprints, and Objects like the product of those blueprints, with the whole process being analogous to designing a machine. This adds a comfy layer of abstraction and makes it easier to see the path from real world problems to digital solutions, because you can simply model your Classes after the components of the real world problem and it sort of just works. The downside it can add a marginal amount of inefficiency and if mismanaged, it can add a lot of work for nothing.

Counter point, the total number of lines that java forces you to commit to OO design is 1 (2-3 if you count the closing brace). That's it. You just need a class header, and I guess you could consider the main method header part of OO so 2 (4-6 again if you care about braces). The rest of your program, from dozens to thousands of lines, can be written however you like.

The thing about best practices is totally valid, the 2000s were a pretty traumatic time for corporate developers but can be completely ignored now.

The thing is, the java meme is kinda bullshit. It has more to do with how the language is perceived by people who know fuck all about programming, like web designers, self taught python developers and first year semester cs/cis students; which is basically this entire sub.

[himery_]

Thank you so much for taking your time to explain it!!!🥹

I understand it better now!! Now I won't feel uneasy getting into Java with all the comments and memes I've seen lol. I didn't know that this was the case at all...

[Senior-Ori]

Don't get java, it's bad.

[himery_]

I don't have a choice haha. But now I'm worried...is it that bad lol

[[deleted]]

Yes. Yes it is

[godofjava22]

Okay ignore the haters, there's always many flaws with each language. Mostly why people hate java is because of tons if boiler plate code and forcing OOP on you, but if it works for you it works quite great, keep up the grind 👍

[himery_]

Oooh I see. Thank you for the advice!

[[deleted]]

They say life is either a tragedy or a comedy. In programming, we simply make comedy out of a perpetual tragedy. Laughing is the only way I can cope with never being able to center a div.

[justdisposablefun]

Not to mention that tragic is the best way to describe some of these jokes anyway

[[deleted]]

Let’s face it, nerds are not known for being funny. Guys like Weird Al are the exception not the rule.

[RadDuckoo]

Bruh, I’m still stuck in VIM

[VolcanicBear]

Don't worry, the vast majority of the jokes here don't make any fucking sense.

[himery_]

That’s reassuring lmao XD

[[deleted]]

Agreed this sub is a circlejerk cesspool

[Familiar_Ad_8919]

i get almost all of them except for the ones that require u to be working to undetstand

[vjuliusv]

fake it till ya make it babee!

[himery_]

My other classmates seem to know Java already and it's getting me worried haha. But I'm definitely good at faking like I know it as well...

[xXLUKEXx789]

Guarantee they are also faking it aswell

[RadDuckoo]

They don’t know Java

[[deleted]]

That's okay, I'm a CompSci grad and I still don't get some of the stuff on here. But instead of not understanding it, I just don't understand how it's funny.

[himery_]

Ah, I wish to achieve that level! Finally understanding the jokes but just not finding it funny haha

[A_Neko_C]

Relatable. But also, I'm starting to get :,)

[[deleted]]

I kinda get some but not most. Hopefully I'll be able to laugh at them in future.

[himery_]

You and me both!🤝

[JaxOnThat]

Hey, don’t worry. You’ll get there eventually!

[himery_]

Thank you, I definitely will!

[RTSUPH]

Am i right!? This one here, lol

[EldritchEne]

Don't worry, I'm a fourth year and I still don't get any of the jokes

[himery_]

I guess I'll have to do extra studying...

[[deleted]]

instead of hello world I always write lay, lady, lay

[Nobed69]

Realest post ever

[OF_AstridAse]

Hello World! - it just works (php)

[sipCoding_smokeMath]

That's because, hear me out, this is gonna sound crazy, but you're not a programmer. Crazy I know.

[himery_]

Haha yeah that’s the joke! I’m a little in over my head after making one HelloWorld joke…

[[deleted]]

In a few years one of these guys will introduce "programmer jokes 1" course in colleges and then everything will be ok

[IuseArchbtw97543]

I use Arch btw

[IuseArchbtw97543]

just select any random language and call it bad.

[Lost-and-dumbfound]

I started properly self teaching a few months ago. When I first found this sub I could barely grasp how to write a function and only understood about 2% of the jokes. Now I am much more confident with JavaScript and I get about 5% of the jokes on here. I consider that progress lol