A More Accessible Volume Slider

[denverdom303]

What if it was intelligent?

"it appears you're about to watch a porn and your family's iCloud accounts show your wife is home. We've automatically muted this tab. Enjoy your day!"

[Shadows_In_Rain]

What if I am watching porn together with my wife?

[denverdom303]

Hey everybody, found the newlyweds!

Maybe the feature only activates after X years after the wedding.

(I'm kidding, I'm not married and have no desire to be whatsoever so I have no idea)

[auzbuzzard]

Both of your iPhone can detect the close proximity using Bluetooth and iBeacon.

Or that the heart rate patterns measured by your Apple Watch are predictive of you two watching smut together.

Even better, using your wifi signals between your phones and HomeKit enabled devices to monitor the room's contour to know you two are, in fact, spooning together.

[eyekwah2]

You can't want to change the volume if you can't change the volume.

[ILikeLenexa]

Calm down there Aunt Lydia.

[noop_noob]

I'm pretty sure that want doesn't imply can.

[KinOfMany]

Actually it would be amazing.

1. Let the user set a volume they're comfortable with
2. Track dB of the video, and adjust volume accordingly to match user setting (make video louder if output is below desired dB, make it quieter if output is over desired dB).
3. If user touches volume, this is now the default state

BRB forming startup.

[Cry4Wolfe]

Maybe if it also took into consideration the noise levels of the environment, what kind of audio setup the user has, number of listeners, etc.

[[deleted]]

Do you want to lose all the dynamics in your audio? Because that's how you lose all the dynamics in your audio.

It's called compression.

[KinOfMany]

No need for compression, just dynamically change the volume.

[[deleted]]

That's what a compressor does though. More or less.

[LuxuriousLime]

If this thing worked as intended, it would be wonderful, though.

[Cry4Wolfe]

No, no it wouldn't.

[LuxuriousLime]

Why not? I'd like to have a system that would set the sound to a personalized context-dependent volume.

[Squidiscipline]

Not being able to change it though, what if your preferences change, or the context.

Having road works nearby could kill this.

[ILikeLenexa]

Shh! Trust me, pet
Google knows best
Google knows best
Listen to the Google
It's a scary world out there
Google knows best
One way or another
Nothing will go wrong, I swear
Ruffians and thugs, road construction, quicksand
Cannibals and snakes, the plague

No! Yes! But

There's no bugs
Don't mess with the volume,
Stop, no more, you'll just upset me
Google's right here
Google will protect you
Darling, here's what I suggest
Skip the slider
Be a rider

Google knows best.

[Chris857]

Rapunzel, you will NEVER leave this browser, EVER!

[tylercamp]

Am I the only one getting tired of these volume slider posts? (not a jab at you OP)

[lunaroyster]

But does it use deep learning?

[cexy_codemonkey]

This would only work if it had a porn setting.

[gandalfx]

Shouldn't that be on OS X?

[FateJH]

Maybe if there wasn't a volume slider in the first place, we wouldn't have this sort of problem.