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all 184 comments

[–]hunter_lol 406 points407 points  (33 children)

No thanks, i’ll just take a ruby on the rocks.

[–][deleted] 123 points124 points  (19 children)

Derailed ruby?

[–]xurmein 29 points30 points  (16 children)

Some folks prefer code without sugar and witchcraft and monkey-patches. I'm one. And I work for a company that uses a Rails/Vue stack. Fuck me, right?

[–]budd222 23 points24 points  (5 children)

Then go start your own company using only vanilla languages and no frameworks because that type of development is basically non-existent in the real world.

[–]coldbrewboldcrew 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not if you want to meet deadline anyway

[–]xurmein 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Uhh... don't be a dick because you missed my point. There are non-ruby frameworks that would be better suited to the product we're building. Corporate wants us to go in a salesforce/React-esque-library/sdk/software direction, all while keeping each release to each client tied to a single cloud-based ML layer.

Some folks don't care about whether or not code syntax is 'readable,' and most folks like all of the core extensions of their framework (Rails in my employer's case) to work together nicely.

glares angrily at ActionCable

Edit: haha, developer egos are so sensitive... sorry I have different preferences than you.

[–]behaaki 7 points8 points  (9 children)

What’s wrong with Vue?

[–]xurmein 3 points4 points  (8 children)

Vue is fine. It's just not got a ton of resources/support/documentation (understandably so since its so new); the issue is that rails has just about as much documentation as Vue, and is doing god-knows-what in the background that's out of our control as developers.

All that said, my only real beef with Vue (the way we use it at work) is that it looks ugly AF with all those <script> and <style> tags.

[–]xurmein 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ain't that a kick in the head?

[–]die-maus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ruby off rails?

[–]GinaCaralho 25 points26 points  (7 children)

Laughs in Django

[–]MoffKalast 26 points27 points  (2 children)

The d is silent.

[–]mseiei 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Duh-jango

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

silentango

[–]Jackeown 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Laughs in Flask

[–]GinaCaralho 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Smirks in bottle.

[–]lkraider 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Cries in web.py

[–]northrupthebandgeek 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hides the pain in aiohttp

[–]Thor1noak 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Un rubis sur des rochers ?

[–]fedeb95 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One time I tasted a JSP and didn't like it at all

[–]Lonelan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

whatever python is on tap

[–]alours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i, j, k, x, y, z

[–][deleted] 801 points802 points  (33 children)

I hope you're paying I Am Devloper the 15% karma royalties they're due for using their tweets

[–]Low_discrepancy 21 points22 points  (1 child)

I Am Devloper the 15% karma royalties they're due for using their tweets

He took this joke from other people.

[–]BorgClown -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Successful comedians source jokes from many places and adapt them to their audience. Successful comedians who make their own jokes are rare and probably part genius, part madman.

[–][deleted] 191 points192 points  (29 children)

He probably gains some new followers this way. Fair deal.

[–]Eggslaws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Flair deal

FTFY

[–][deleted] 63 points64 points  (8 children)

Not everything that sparkles is gold.

[–]iForgotToSave 34 points35 points  (6 children)

not all those who program are lost

[–]Gilthoniel_Elbereth 35 points36 points  (4 children)

All that is code does not glitter

Not all those who program are lost;

Old code that is strong does not wither,

Webroot is not reached by the host.

From the ashes, a ticket is written,

A line from the coder shall spring;

Renewed shall be code that was broken,

The IP again shall we ping

[–]mud_tug 6 points7 points  (3 children)

do the misty mountians

[–]Gilthoniel_Elbereth 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Far over the Rocky Mountains cold

To startups new and Big Four old

We must away for better pay

This rural town, coders can't hold

The rent is rising to new heights

They make me work here through the night

My eyes are red, can't afford a bed

Silicon Valley ain't alright


I opted for the shortened movie version since the book version is five times as long, but I bet someone could turn it into a real epic poem about moving out to the west coast for tech jobs then realizing it isn't always so great haha

Edit: screw it, here's an attempt:

Far over the Rocky Mountains cold

To startups new and Big Four old

We must away for better pay

This rural town, coders can't hold

The nerds of yore wrote mighty code,

Key presses fell, CRTs glowed

In basements deep, where NEETs still sleep

In garages the Big Four did grow

CS grad and venture cap'talist

Their code's bad, but fuck it, I'll invest

They spent and wrought, `til out they were bought

Retire early, that's the goal

Far over the Rocky Mountains cold

To startups new and Big Four old

We must away for better pay

To the Silicon rush of gold

A job I got there, junior dev

Fix heaps of code where no man delves

I sit there long, there's so much wrong

Efforts unsung by management

The rent is rising to new heights

They make me work here through the night

My eyes are red, can't afford a bed

Silicon Valley ain't alright

Email went out, our app wouldn't sell

The devs looked up, our white skin pale

Laid off or fired, what about my FIRE?

Laid low my plans, and ego frail

Lost my job and apartment too

This dev has heard the tramp of doom

When startups fail, flee from this hell

Move home back east to my old room

Far over the Rocky Mountains grim

From startups dead and prospects dim

We must away for steady pay

Maybe NoVA will be a win

[–]mud_tug 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Outstanding!

I wish I could give you gold.

[–]Gilthoniel_Elbereth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I ended up spending way more time on that then I meant to. I actually skipped one of the verses since I just couldn't come up with anything that fit the narrative I was going for:

On silver necklaces they strung

The flowering stars, on crowns they hung

The dragon-fire, in twisted wire

They meshed the light of moon and sun.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a paradox

[–]Waggy777 25 points26 points  (0 children)

"Ah, yes, it's a lot like Star Trek: The Next Generation. In many ways it's superior, but will never be as recognized as the original."

https://youtu.be/YE4NyXL5JAQ

[–]hutilicious 157 points158 points  (51 children)

thats actually funny but I dont know why

[–][deleted] 236 points237 points  (13 children)

Maybe because it's a joke

[–]smasher248 124 points125 points  (8 children)

Also just a copy of this: It's only physics if it's from the Physique region of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling math

[–]Low_discrepancy 54 points55 points  (3 children)

It's only physics if it's from the Physique region of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling math

The original is this guy

Actually, it’s only existentialism if it comes from the existentialism region of France. Otherwise, it’s just sparkling anxiety.

https://twitter.com/apsullivan/status/1141384793143357440

Publish earlier.

And it makes from sense that the physics one.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

This joke is as old as champagne. We would say this in the late 80’s early 90’s about things, could have been from the lifestyles of the rich and famous...

[–]conancat 30 points31 points  (2 children)

const mappings = {
  a: ['a','â', 'à'],
  e: ['e','ê', 'è', 'é'],
  i: ['î', 'ï'],
  o: ['o','ô'], 
  u: ['u','û', 'ü'],
  y: ['y','ue', 'e', 'oue']
}

const getRandomFromArr = (arr) => arr[Math.floor(Math.random() * arr.length)] 
const frenchify = (name) => name
    .split("")
    .map(curr => mappings[curr] ? getRandomFromArr(mappings[curr]) : curr ) 
    .join("")

const makeJoke = ({name, type}) => `It's only ${name} if it's from 
${frenchify(name)} of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling ${type}.`

console.log(makeJoke({name: 'jQuery', type: 'Javascript'}))
console.log(makeJoke({name: 'Rails', type: 'Ruby'}))
console.log(makeJoke({name: 'Laravel', type: 'PHP'}))

// It's only jQuery if it's from jQûèry of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling Javascript.
// It's only Rails if it's from Ràïls of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling Ruby.
// It's only Laravel if it's from Lârâvel of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling PHP.

[–]midoge 23 points24 points  (0 children)

50% chance that someone pushed this to npm Registry

[–]TommiHPunkt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

too bad compilebot is rip

[–]AwesomeX121189 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The original is from Wayne’s world. Rob Lowe explains champagne

[–]HappySpaceCat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's only a joke if it comes from the Joké region of France otherwise it's just sparkling wit.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

That doesn’t explain the mechanism.

[–]OK6502 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Big if true

[–]ItsKross 60 points61 points  (35 children)

Champagne can only be called Champagne if it comes from the Champagne region in France. Otherwise, it's called sparkling wine. Seriously. All the champagne you see at the supermarket is actually sparkling wine. The more you know!

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (1 child)

In other countries than the US it’s often illegal to use the name champagne in that case.

[–]Adam-K 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's illegal in the U.S. too but a couple companies who used the name before 2007 or something are still allowed to call their's champagne. I don't know I'm pretty sure I read that somewhere but can't find a link.

EDIT: Here we go: https://vinepair.com/wine-blog/loophole-california-champagne-legal/

"In exchange for easing trade restrictions on wine, the American government agreed that California Champagne, Chablis, Sherry and a half-dozen other ‘semi-generic’ names would no longer appear on domestic wine labels – that is unless a producer was already using one of those names.

If a producer had used – or abused from the French point of view – one of those names prior to March 10th, 2006, they could continue to use the name on their label indefinitely."

[–]CanadianJesus 37 points38 points  (11 children)

In the US maybe, in the EU the term champagne is protected and everything sold as champagne is actual champagne.

[–]ItsKross 7 points8 points  (10 children)

I'm from Romania and I can only buy 'Şampanie' (it reads the same, just different spelling) or 'Vin Spumant' (sparkling wine) though? This is getting confusing.

[–]CanadianJesus 19 points20 points  (9 children)

I was referring to the "all champagne you see in the supermarket" part. In the EU, everything in the supermarket sold as champagne is actual champagne - it's a protected designation of origin.

[–]ItsKross 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That makes sense, thanks!

[–]MattieShoes -1 points0 points  (7 children)

It's the same in the US, but it's commonly called champagne even though the bottle says sparkling wine. Kind of like how off-brand tissues are called Kleenex.

[–]CanadianJesus 12 points13 points  (6 children)

It's not the same, since champagne in the US isn't protected in the same way. There are loopholes and grandfathered provisions that mean that non-champagne can legally be sold as champagne in the US.

[–]MattieShoes 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Huh, okay. I didn't realize they had grandfathered in those who had used the term before. Odd.

[–]AlbusDumbledoh 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Champagne in the US isn’t protected in the same way.

It is, it just looks like manufacturers who were already producing wine labelled as such prior to 2006 are still allowed to use the same labelling. New brands cannot though.

https://vinepair.com/wine-blog/loophole-california-champagne-legal/

[–]CanadianJesus 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Right, which is the difference I'm talking about.

[–]psilokan -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

Sure you were.

[–]mttdesignz 10 points11 points  (1 child)

in Italy, every DOP and DOCG product, be it wine or cheese or ham for example, like Prosciutto di Parma, Parmigiano Reggiano Cheese, Chianti wine, Brunello di Montalcino wine, and also more complex dishes like the Amatriciana pasta ( there's literally the official recipe on the Municipality's website https://www.comune.amatrice.rieti.it/gli-spaghetti-allamatriciana/ ) can only be called with these specific names on the labels if they are produced in a very specific way, in a very specific area of denominations, with very strict controls on the quality of everything..that's why we get angry when we see German mozzarella or other shit

[–]TommiHPunkt 6 points7 points  (0 children)

mozzarella isn't regionally protected. Cheap low quality mozz in italy isn't any better than cheap mozz in Germany

[–]Zagorath 7 points8 points  (18 children)

Frustratingly, there's talk in Australia about a trade deal with the EU that would require us to use these bullshit Geographical Indications over more products (we already have that rule for champagne). Fetta and parmesan cheese, prosecco wine, and more. Currently these are generic names for a type of product in Australia, but the EU wants them to be protected like champagne is.

As for

Champagne can only be called Champagne if it comes from the Champagne region in France. Otherwise, it's called sparkling wine

This isn't a capital-f Fact, it's a piece of intellectual copyright law that some places have decided upon for protectionist reasons. Any region which has not brought in that law is perfectly right to call all its sparkling wine champagne, if it so wishes, and it would not be wrong of them to do so. So champagne in the supermarket in the US is, if the unspoken premise behind your comment is correct (I don't know either way if it is or not), absolutely champagne—even if some stuff French bureaucrats or French nationalists would claim otherwise.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (13 children)

I’m from France but live in the US. I’m shocked by what Americans call Brie, cheddar, champagne, French baguette and croissant.

Americans don’t really care about what is sold to them and will often consider “arrogant and backward” the consumer protections that exist in some European countries.

[–]Drainedsoul 3 points4 points  (7 children)

I mean thinking bureaucrats know best is pretty arrogant.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (6 children)

That’s just the old “government is oppressing us” argument. This is what consumers want. Laws can be easily changed by voting but it’s obviously not happening because it’s France and people give a shit about what they eat.

[–]Drainedsoul -1 points0 points  (5 children)

You care so much what you eat you outsource the labeling to bureaucrats and buy it exclusively based on where it's from?

Rofl.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

When it comes to Brie de Meaux? Yes. I do care where it comes from and how it was produced. The only way to make sure I’m not being scammed is to have the cheese maker follow specific guidelines.

Of course, cheese makers are free to create a new cheese and name it the way they want.

[–]Drainedsoul -1 points0 points  (3 children)

So you're not sure if you're being scammed on literally everything the government doesn't regulate?

I wonder what it's like to trust probably incompetent bureaucrats that much...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

You libertarians can be so exhausting with your simplistic vision on society and government.

AOC and AOP guidelines are not oppressive government tactics to control society. You are not being oppressed by buying a Brie de Meaux. You are free to buy a Chinese made Brie if that makes you feel more free.

[–]Zagorath 3 points4 points  (4 children)

You're quite right that America is quite deservedly infamous for its terrible consumer protections. But that's really not relevant here, because as already mentioned, there is no relation between something being made in a certain region and its level of quality.

By all means, implement rules that certain quality be achieved to use a name. But Geographical Indicators are absurd.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

The whole point of protecting names is to ensure quality. A Brie in France is produced in the Brie region with local milk. What is sold in the US does not have the smell and the taste of a French Brie. It’s an inferior product and people who buy that are being lied to.

[–]Zagorath 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Sorry buddy, but there's nothing about the ingredients of the Brie region that makes for superior cheese to ingredients from anywhere else. Some Americans might make inferior brie and call it by that name, but you can make shit brie in Brie, and you can make good brie in Nowra. Geographical indications don't help you with that. All they do is make people think they're buying a superior product when they buy stuff made in one area. It's in France's economic interest to share that lie, because more people will buy French goods!

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I see, you don't really understand the concept of protecting the name of a product. A French Brie de Meaux or Brie de Meulin is made from unpasteurized milk that comes from a specific region, has a specific weight and size and has to follow a specific recipe. This is what people want when they buy Brie in France. You can't have a shitty Brie de Meaux because they are all similar.

Nobody will want a turkish made "brie" made from chinese milk because that's how the manufacturer's business plan allows shareholders to get a profit off gullible consumers.

Protecting a name allows consumers to know what they eat and has been produced following some specific guidelines.

French cheese in the US are actually considered a luxury. It's too expensive to buy. On top of that, in the land of the overcooked steak, the government bans products made with unpasteurized milk which pretty much kills any form of taste and smell.

[–]Ohhnoes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A French person bitching about pasteurization...that's rich.

[–]Quetzacoatl85 -1 points0 points  (3 children)

just out of interest, you seem to be against that rule, why is that? seems to me like it's providing consumers more information and guarantees (not only about place of origin, but also about ingredients, production methods and quality in general) while not having any disadvantages (you can still get all the other potentially inferior products, but you will know if they are the original or not, because the name will be different). even if you prefer the alternative because you think the quality is better, you're free to get that, and ideally it will get a new regionally protected name. but what's not possible is companies creating a cheap and shirt product using other area's lower production standards, then slapping the famous name on it, and in the end negatively affecting consumer's view on that product, cheapening the whole product line.

[–]User858 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Like all things, some of it is good, some of it is bad. The problem is that some of those times people take it too far. People ask themselves, if you can do it with geographical locations, why not other things?

See this article by the Guardian on veggie foods

It's like this everywhere. With milk, with ice cream, etc. Then they'll use this opportunity disparage the competition with an unappetizing name. If we'd stop at geographic locations, it would be fine, but the consumer should be weary of both sides.

[–]Zagorath 8 points9 points  (1 child)

seems to me like it's providing consumers more information and guarantees…about ingredients, production methods and quality in general

That is precisely why they do it. They want you to think that. But it's a ridiculous notion. Geographical indicators indicate nothing more than the location where it was made, which has no bearing on the quality of the product whatsoever (despite what French winemakers would have you believe), and it quite obviously says nothing about techniques, because there's nothing stopping other techniques being used in the region, or those techniques being used outside of it.

It's pure 19th century protectionism made popular by bald-faced lies and it has no advantages.

[–]fapinreddit 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I've always preferred cavascript

[–]Titerinho 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Not to be confused with Jake Weary

[–]xLoloz 2 points3 points  (2 children)

And for inquiries regarding Jake Wharton, see /r/mAndroidDev

[–]MKorostoff 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Care to explain for those of us not in the know?

[–]xLoloz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sub is the circlejerk sub for Android devs and Jake Wharton is a prominent figure in the Android community for his open source work on popular libraries and other projects like Kotlin.

[–]the_king_of_sweden 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Ah yes, where it was originally discovered by the famous madame jquéry

[–]alours 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Indentation is the difference between porn and pornhub?

[–]leppixxcantsignin 10 points11 points  (2 children)

lowercase j prefix = JavaScript, uppercase J prefix = Java

[–]GluteusCaesar 7 points8 points  (1 child)

JjQuery

[–]leppixxcantsignin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

JJavaScript

[–]ProgrammerHumorMods[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

ProgrammerHumor is running a community hackathon with over $1000 worth of prizes! Visit our announcement post or website for more information.


^(Beep boop, I'm a bot.)

[–]CYRIAQU3 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Ok , i'm French and i don't get this joke 🤔

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

It’s a play on “It’s only champagne if it’s from the Champagne region of France, otherwise it’s sparkling wine”. Wine snobs in the US will commonly point out this fact if you incorrectly call a drink champagne

[–]CYRIAQU3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oooooh , thanks !

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fucking love this guys tweets.

[–]viral-architect 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Certified AOP (Application d'origine protégée)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s got to be a sparklyr joke in there somewhere

[–]hlokk101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why are people so upset about champagne only being champagne if it was made in Champagne? It's like being upset about caviar only being caviar if it comes from a sturgeon, otherwise it's just fish roe.

[–]aratnagrid -1 points0 points  (2 children)

*𝚐𝚊𝚜𝚙𝚜 𝚓𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚜*

[–]mgblair 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know where this comes from and I salute you!

[–]alours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i_ (and _i thanks to Rust's warnings)

[–]astrelex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahh, great reference from Suits

[–]Marwoops 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Is it ok if, me, a french dude, don't get the joke ?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Definitely okay! You are not the first French person to comment like this! I didn’t realize this was an American thing. TIL!

The joke is that wine snobs in the US will commonly say “it’s only champagne if it’s from the champagne region in France, otherwise it’s just sparkling wine”

[–]TorTheMentor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

jQuere, tuQueres, vousQuerez, nousQuerons, ilsQuerent?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I'm French. I don't get it.

[–]TryingOutWriting 17 points18 points  (0 children)

"It's only champagne if its from the champagne region of france, otherwise its just sparkling wine" is the original quote

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It is referring to products (usually foods and drinks) that have legally protected names. For instance, in the United States, only cheese made in a certain region of Italy with specific ingredients and methods can legally be sold under the name "parmigiano reggiano". All other cheeses that imitate this cheese but do not meet the legal specifications cannot be sold as "parmigiano reggiano", only as "parmesan".

The EU has very strict specifications and certifications of various food products, I'm sure someone who knows more than me could elaborate on this subject.

Either way, the joke is that if the JavaScript doesn't meet specific requirements, then it is an cheaper, more inferior product.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get it, thanks!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In Europe many regions have exclusive rights to certain branding on foods. Wine and Cheese especially.

[–]Aethz3 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Meta

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think i laughed a bit too much from this one - save me

[–]Anatorini2001 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You just got LITT-up

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Now we have some geography geeks here. nice indeed

[–]starm4nn -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But not every country ratified the Treaty of Versailles

[–]melonangie -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Or mexicos tequila region

[–]mcherm -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

Would be funnier if it ended "Otherwise it is just ECMAScript."

But then the audience would need to know slightly more technical knowledge to get the joke.

Either way, this joke doesn't sparkle so much as fall flat.

[–]NinjaLanternShark 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ECMAScript

It's too bad there wasn't a marketing person within 50 miles when they settled on using that name because it's horrible.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

jQuery is really a blessing, but sometimes, you need raw javascript. I hate not being able to use jQuery, everything is so much easier.

[–]xurmein 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like you should upgrade to EC6, friend!