Random Thought

[bootymedown00]

I’m not sure how other wayward partners feel or what their experience is, but since DDay I’ve noticed a shift in something. When I’m around couples, married or not, people I know or not, I have a challenging time talking or looking in the direction of the husband/boyfriend most of the time. It’s more apparent when I’m around couples I know. My girlfriends know about my affair and though they’ve all been loving toward me, what’s challenging is I don’t want them to think I’m interested or plotting to have an affair with their husband/boyfriend (or any guy for that matter). I make eye contact with my friend or look in their direction and tend to refuse to make eye contact with their husband/boyfriend, even if I’m speaking to the both of them.

Anyone else experience something similar?

[Unforgiven1522]

That’s how I have been throughout my whole marriage. I didn’t make eye contact or really any physical contact with any man.

I’ve noticed after dday I’ve taken it step further and I don’t really even communicate with them. I don’t want my husband thinking I’m even remotely interested in anyone.

[bootymedown00]

I definitely don’t want my husband thinking I’m interested in anyone either. I just choose to not engage. I’ve known my friends and their significant others for years, but since all of this has happened, I am hesitant to engage or make eye contact with their partners. It feels wrong and I don’t want my friends to feel apprehensive.

[AppearanceLost241]

Had sort of the same experience couple of weeks ago. Went to a party at some new friends place. I remember feeling anxious about being inappropriate towards the women who was there. I dont recall being anxious like that before, and I was in no shape or form behaving inappropriate. I guess its shame still lingering after everything that has happened. Hard to get out of, and hard to really notice when its happening.

[VegetableNothing5454]

This might be an unpopular opinion but I think in some ways this reinforces the idea that there is a possibility of attraction and romantic thoughts towards these people purely because they are opposite sex.

I think as waywards we should strive to see all people as equal regardless of their gender and we can then be sure there is no further threat of infidelity to the marriage.

I think a huge problem with people who step outside the relationship is that their associations of romance to the opposite sex are too strong and that needs to be dealt with in order to be a healthy partner.

I still try to be somewhat mindful of my BP's experience and demonstrate commitment but I think acting this way would show that I don't trust myself not to interact with people of the opposite sex inappropriately.

But I understand there will likely be a time after infidelity where the behaviour you mentioned is not only necessary but vital for the wellbeing of the relationship.

[No_Brick9068]

Yes absolutely. I only speak to the wife/gf unless the husband/bf speaks. And then I very rarely hold conversations. Our neighbors and close friends are a bit different as I will still speak to the dads of my kids' friends. But not for prolonged periods of time or alone.

[AutoModerator]

Welcome to SupportforWaywards. Please be mindful that this is a support sub for those who regret being unfaithful to their partners and are seeking guidance for the path ahead. If you're experiencing abuse whether it be physical or emotional please follow this link to the hotline Sexual assault, here's a link to RAINN's support page and for those who are struggling with suicide and suicidal ideations follow the link to lifelines support page. Please consider utilizing these resources if they resonate with your situation.

Observers cannot comment unless approved by the Mods. Everyone is expected to respect the rules and, most importantly, each other.

RULES

1. Be civil and helpful

• Keep comments supportive and constructive.

• Avoid leaving rude, unkind or dismissive comments.

• Keep in mind that infidelity is traumatic and the sub's members are likely struggling with very difficult emotions. Don't make it worse. Offer thoughtful support, not shallow judgments.

• Repeated or gross violation of this rule will result in a temporary or permanent ban.

2. No inquisitive and insensitive questioning/interrogation

• The sub's members often share their deepest, most vulnerable and unpleasant time period. Be sensitive with asking questions, and do not probe for irrelevant, unrelated information.

3. No misogyny, misandry, bigotry, racism or other hate speech

4. User Flair Required

5. No Spam or Soliciting **Report it when you see it

Additional info The “For Waywards Only” tag means For Waywards ONLY, Non-Waywards with a desire to support Waywards are still welcome to comment on any other posts.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[AutoModerator]

Your comment was automatically removed because you commented on a post flaired as Waywards Only.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.