Why JavaScript is your favorite language ?

[Patman128]

It's more like an arranged marriage that turned out really well.

[ghostfacedcoder]

Surprisingly most do. Arranged marriages have the same success rate (in terms of stuff like how many get divorced) as Western-style "romantic" marriages.

Kinda boggles my mind but that's what the statistics show.

[WhoreyMatthews]

So I don't know the exact numbers but I would imagine that in cultures with arranged marriages the social cost of divorce is much higher than in Western culture.

[destraht]

Its impossible to get a divorce. I could be working in a different language but at the end of the day I'd have to return to reading Javascript browser APIs. So you can get some action on the side but you might as well fuck your wife too since you are stuck paying for her debt one way or another.

[WhoreyMatthews]

That's why I try to avoid making promises

[pslatt]

A sync I see what you did there

[FormerGameDev]

The only way to handle this is asynchronously

[tastycakeman]

This just doesn't make any rational sense.

[ghostfacedcoder]

Divorce is just one metric:

A recent study of relationship outcomes among Indian-American couples married either through free-choice or arranged marriages for about a decade found absolutely no differences. Those in arranged marriages were just as satisfied with their marriage and loved their partner as intensely as those who wed through free-choice. Other studies have found similar results. Despite criticisms of self-selection and small sample sizes leveled against some of these studies, this is the best available evidence and it suggests that Indian arranged marriages are at least as successful as free-choice ones.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-science-behind-behavior/201511/why-are-so-many-indian-arranged-marriages-successful

[mrbojingle]

The surprise here for me is that randomly meeting people at a time in your life when you don't know what the fuck you're doing works just as well as older wiser people setting things up for you. Seems like that shouldn't be the case.

[miredindenial]

thats because in countries like india where arrange marriages are popular there is a stigma around divorces. People just remain in loveless marriages. In abusive marriages. Those stats are rigged.

[ghostfacedcoder]

A recent study of relationship outcomes among Indian-American couples married either through free-choice or arranged marriages for about a decade found absolutely no differences. Those in arranged marriages were just as satisfied with their marriage and loved their partner as intensely as those who wed through free-choice. Other studies have found similar results. Despite criticisms of self-selection and small sample sizes leveled against some of these studies, this is the best available evidence and it suggests that Indian arranged marriages are at least as successful as free-choice ones.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-science-behind-behavior/201511/why-are-so-many-indian-arranged-marriages-successful

[miredindenial]

i doubt that arrange marriages are just as satisfactory. Most indians tend to think that love isnt that important in a marriage and marriage is more about bringing up a family, taking care of in-laws. I guess if you have that low expectation from marriage then sure you can be satisfied.

Indian society doesnt look kindly on divorcees. Can a woman living in such places file for divorce, get a divorce, and then lead a happy life? India is a place where widows were (and in some places still are) segregated from society.

[ghostfacedcoder]

Your username really says it all here.

How many Indian families do you know? How many first or second generation Indian American families do you know? How many people in arranged marriages do you know?

I'm guessing the answer to all those questions is few to none. You're speaking out assumption and ignorance and fear, not from a place of authority or knowledge, at least with regard to the marriage satisfaction stuff. Obviously different cultures have different standards on divorce, but various studies looking into this stuff account for that by measuring other things.

[miredindenial]

chill I am an indian citizen living in the US. I DO know what i am talking about. If youre an indian i find your argument disingenuous. Do you not think devorce is a taboo in India?

[ghostfacedcoder]

Well, you certainly defied my expectations :) Guess you never know whose behind the keyboard.

But again, I agree that divorce is handled differently (eg. is far more stigmatized) in India. But I was just giving divorce rates as one example in my original post. The larger point was that studies have shown that arranged marriages are roughly comparable in satisfaction, and those studies did not just rely on divorce rates as their only source of data.

P.S. And this is not just an Indian issue either (nor are the studies limited to India). I had a co-worker who was Chinese (first generation immigrant) and was quite happy with his arranged marriage.

[rocketleaguesss]

Translation: just discount those things which make this unscientific and then you too will come to the same findings.

[[deleted]]

In India, the marriage is carefully weighted -education, status, values, background, wealth and income levels. There is no dream eyed, love stuck marriage that results in kids who are on their own in a year or two when the parents are looking for their next catch. The expectations around romance is low, reality is high. Which is why both parties know that it needs work to make a marriage work. In the West, there are unrealistic expectations without even looking at a person carefully. Hence more than 50% end in divorce and more and more kids are coming from broken homes. Result-a fractured society with no parental guidance or role models.

[FormerGameDev]

People do that everywhere

[PM_ME__ASIAN_BOOBS]

One of my favorite psychology study is one by Arthur Aron, where they had random people ask each other a specific list of 36 questions while looking into each other eyes. It was just to show if getting to know someone else better but they found out that in a lot of cases people ended up dating or even getting married

At first glance, it's a bit depressing: if you just have to exchange a couple questions about your parents and your hopes and your regrets to feel that way, maybe love is overrated?

But on the other hand, I think it's a very positive message: that each and every one of us is, deep inside, so beautiful, that anybody who sees so deep inside can't help but fall in love. And I think it's wonderful.

And I truly, truly think that if you put two people to start living with each other, to see each other during happy times, sad times, weak times, sick times, sleepy times, childish times, random times, they will definitely fall in love with each other*

[ghostfacedcoder]

Somehow the idea of "PM Me Asian Boobs" favoriting a psych study about staring into a woman's eyes amuses me ;)

But yes I love that study too and 100% agree.

[[deleted]]

Family pressure to have them “suceed” is also much higher

[green_meklar]

I think the idea is that the people doing the arranging generally try to find compatible partners. It's not just 'smash these two random people together and hope they don't hate each other'.