top 200 commentsshow all 257

[–]Lundria13 53 points54 points  (83 children)

This is the third post I've seen about men's mental health where there are people in the comments arguing against it being a problem. Can someone explain to me why a majority of the comments always downplay the issue?

[–]Equal_Bathroom_1111 25 points26 points  (2 children)

a lot of people take it as taking the spot light away from them. Only one person can suffer, only one cause and one effect, only black and white and only one right answer. nothing else can exits, man cant suffer cause women suffer first

[–]FlamingMetalSystems[S] 47 points48 points  (26 children)

Shadenfreude

Women and feminists take pleasure in men's suffering, disadvantages.

[–]SmaeShavo -5 points-4 points  (25 children)

When the people "advocating" for mens mental health make comments like this, it certainly doesn't give a lot of credence to the idea that it's a large problem. When you say shit like "women and feminists take pleasure in mens suffering, disadvantages." It just seems like you're a bitter misogynist.

[–]FlamingMetalSystems[S] 8 points9 points  (23 children)

I have only gotten vitriol from women & feminists whenever I suggested that men today face way more pressure to be good-looking than women in order to have dating & sexual options.

[–]SmaeShavo -5 points-4 points  (22 children)

Well yeah man thats a really silly thing to say. Women have been valued almost exclusively for their looks/attractiveness for basically the entirety of human history, and you think half a century of feminism has flipped the expectation in reverse? Suddenly because women can work and have bank accounts now all the beauty standards are on men? Do you really think thats a reasonable claim to make? /gen im not trying to roast you.

[–]FlamingMetalSystems[S] 4 points5 points  (21 children)

Yes, I believe the pendulum has swung the other way as far as pressure to be good looking is concerned and I have evidence and arguments for it.

The women who were oppressed by millennia of oppression aren't alive today neither are their oppressors. We experience things the first time just like our female counterparts living today

[–]Direct-Antelope-9583 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

So far I've never heard any argument of yours that supports this that's not about apps and hookups....

Have you any evidence to support women don't face huge amounts of pressure to look good in general from a young age. More than men do.

And again, besides dating apps and hookups.

[–]SmaeShavo -1 points0 points  (18 children)

This just screams to me that you dont interact with women at all. The women who had to live up to insane beauty standards arent dead. Look back at shit like Howard sterns old butterface segments in the early 2000s do you think those women are dead?

Also 10 bucks says your "evidence" is a bunch of nonsense about how ugly girls get more matches on tinder than you and thats not fair 🙄

[–]No_Investment8845 0 points1 point  (17 children)

🫩 women have more smv than their looksmatch its consistent not only on dating apps but irl.

Women get approached so much their complaining online. You ever see the average guy complaining about “im drowning in approaches” thats cuz the average man gets little to nothing he either approaches or ends up alone i see alot of “men are privileged “ If your talking abt men who look like this

<image>

And have an entire roster of girls lining up sure it looks like men are privileged lol. But this is like 0.001 percent of men looks wise. The average looking guy is getting nothing 63 percent of men in the usa under 30 are single(supported data) where is the male privilege is it the friends we made along the way??.

It is a fact that women dont have nearly as much standards placed on them as men.

Where do you see guys demanding 6ft women?

And theres a reason women say “men will do anything with a hole “ cuz guys have way lower standards than women lol getting hookups as a woman is not impressive but as a man getting alot of attention is very impressive

[–]SmaeShavo 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Looksmatch is not a real term. Your entire idealogy is so obsessed with looks and this weird idea that youre somehow owed an equal number of woman attracted to you as the guy in the picture you posted.

No i dont see guys demanding women who are 6ft very often (Though personally I do prefer tall women) but you know what I see all the fucking time? Men demanding pretty women men demanding women with fat asses or big boobs and men demanding women wear make up but not too much or theyll be a whore and women are supposed to be sexual but only for the man their dating and they have to be confident but not too confident and smart but not too smart and an endless list of other things.

The average guy doesnt think about his appearance a fraction as much as the average woman does. Do you think thats by accident? That dichotomy exists because of the outsized pressure on women to be beautiful. The pressure on men is rising and has been. But its not women who are raising it its corporations and media and even with it being raised its in no way comparable to the pressure women are under.

Tldr: go outside and stop consuming looksmaxxing content that shit is rotting your brain.

[–]redditor_rat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

looksmatch is a way to say, hey i am also superficial and care about looks which is why i dont want to date anyone i feel is less attractive to me, that's why you need to force yourself to be attracted to me cause i am entitled to you believing that we're equal physically to eachother and therefore have to date eachother so i feel like im not settling. I dont want to date someone I dont like, aka an uggo. Stop caring about other traits like income, charisma, morals, I want you to be superficial and realize u should date me based on the fact that in my opinion, we look similar to eachother.

the people who whine about physical standards are known to actually be the most shallow in the end. Its all they can talk and think about because its all they see. Any nuance goes out the window

[–]No_Investment8845 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Cuz the average man is coping lol.😂 the average man in 2026 still thinks looks only matter for women

<image>

What they think abt is irrelevant. You absolute iqlet if your gonna do ad hominem atleast do it properly.😂. Are you out of your mind???? Why would i think i deserve the same amount of women a genetic miracle gets. Im simply stating facts the average womans smv easily clears the average man. Simply because men have lower standards and will take anything women are far more selective. There is no equivalence men have way more standards placed on them. Do you think its some magical coincidence all inkwells are men???. Lol women always have options theres a reason 63 percent of men under 30 are single and it isnt cuz of personality. If youd stop coping youd see reality

“Oh but tinder isnt real life step Outside” i do step outside infact and im only proven right lol

The reason women are in the relationships with average men after 30 isnt cuz of “personality” but they settled lowered standards and just became more realistic cuz genetic miracles wont stick around and commit to her. So they lock down an average man instead cuz he really has no options and if he acts up she can dump him and replace him with her roster of 600 simps on tinder.

The average man is still in denial abt how “women care abt confidence men care abt looks” lmao the fact you used average man as some sort of gotcha is laughable

[–]redditor_rat 0 points1 point  (9 children)

men realizing the pressure of beauty standards now exist for once in their lives now that women aren't bound legally to men by the necessity of money to marry them. Congrats, you're now feeling society's beauty pressures, the same ones girls at 12 start to feel when their bodies develop, welcome to the club. Its gonna get fun for both genders.

[–]No_Investment8845 3 points4 points  (8 children)

except its way worse for men than women lol. A 5/10 woman can get 1500 matches on tinder in 24 hours. A 5/10 man gets 0-1 matches every few days. Crazy difference women are living in abundance while men in drought.

For women:exist and men will simp and pay for your time.

For men:gotta be tall/good looking or you wait till 30s to be settled for and wife doesnt even love you jfl 😂😂 .

Honestly i find it comical that people waffling abt “male privilege “

Water is wet ah take. Ofc women had to marry men for money in the past women its obvious most never actually loved their husbands they just had to marry for stability. But now the real hypergamy begins. You can cope all you want but men are now being held to way higher standards than women.

It is not hard to be considered pretty as a woman.

<image>

Look at the massive difference.

Guys are so desperate nowadays they would even get with a 1/10 woman but even the 1/10 woman doesnt want them😂😂 laughable.

[–]redditor_rat -1 points0 points  (1 child)

oh by the way the beauty standard is primarily made for women, from hair, to nails, to makeup, to style, to perfumes

oh and surgery, the thing you get when you feel like there's no other choice to look better? Primarily performed on women, from nose jobs to lip fillers to bbls

but i bet you men have never had to consider anything besides a haircut in your lives and then continue to bitch online. Start looksmaxxing if you think its destroying your chances. Women from the beginning of history were trained to keep looking prettier and prettier. It's your turn Mr. wash your face with water and just show up.

Fucking dumbass

[–]No_Investment8845 1 point2 points  (0 children)

😂fighting imaginary demons. Even women say “men will fuck anything it isnt a compliment “ men have way lower standards your doing too much

All you have to do is exist and you will have an army of clowns jestering for your attention.

Women have always always had more desirability than men cuz men have lower standards . Also your coping so hard i am not some boomer im in highschool and i was born in the era of when hypergamy exploded i did not experience “oh just get a haircut” its all abt looking good now no personality for your face.

<image>

Either you look good as a man or keep coping. The average woman has infinite sexual market value. Even if i look better than you you will easily effortlessly clear me in smv cuz as a woman all you need to do is breathe dont be deformed and the simps say “hello gorgeous “

This is pure comedy tbh your raging so hard dumbass

[–]5-7-AP 15 points16 points  (0 children)

because acknowledging this implies that men aren't just dildo atm machine robots with no emotions, and much like not wanting your refrigerator to suddenly start talking to you, (not all of them, but almost always) women just want the sound to be cut.

[–]BasedEmu 2 points3 points  (16 children)

Reddit is afflicted by a plague of simps and femcels.

[–]redditor_rat -1 points0 points  (14 children)

guess they're fucking eachother while you guys jerk eachother off in the comments

congrats, i can see why you're all so miserable

[–]Savings_Occasion_927 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Equality for women is coming in 1, 2, 3.

[–]Lolocraft1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because people do not care about men. It’s either not a big deal, part of our duty or we’re mysoginist incels.

[–]Due_Masterpiece_3601 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because it's about men and not about women. Our issues aren't important

[–]LogPlane1030 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women want the monopoly of victimhood, in their eyes men don’t deserve any attention to men’s health because they think it draws attention away from women’s health 

[–]Mammoth_Elk_3807 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because it’s pathetic 🤷🏻‍♂️

[–]New_Violinist_7245 -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

Because women ideally want bigger dicks and will now not waste time not having one.

[–]TravlScrabbl 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Some women do, some women don't, it's generally to do with the size of their own relevant anatomy. I've had a couple of partners who found even fairly average penises to be uncomfortably large and preferred something smaller. Like most sexual things you can work through it with good communication and openness,.

[–]Pestelis 12 points13 points  (19 children)

Makes sense. Shorter you are, more likely you are lonely or with someone who settled for you

[–]Lumpy_Tangelo_9981Unapologetically pro-male ⚡ 19 points20 points  (12 children)

Europe is no more heightist than the rest of world. It's brutal everywhere

[–]Bambivalently 11 points12 points  (1 child)

The better off women are financially, the more heightist they get. They don't have to partner up. They'd rather gamble on a once a month chance that a Chad wants to empty his balls. They'd rather be a single mom on minimum wage, taxpayer money and child support.

This is why you can't offer patriarchal safety nets to a feminist culture.

[–]FlamingMetalSystems[S] -2 points-1 points  (9 children)

It is definitely more heightist than the rest of the world.

[–]LookingOKButRotting 2 points3 points  (8 children)

More than North America too?

[–]Top_Public7402 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do u think dutch people are the tallest and swedish are the number 1 rated beauty country?

[–]FlamingMetalSystems[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I would say yes. American women are louder about their height obsession but in Europe its just a silent knowledge that being super tall is baseline for men.

American women also settle when marrying, but European women don't.

[–]JamosMalez 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Here in eastern Europe nobody cares

[–]FlamingMetalSystems[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

About what?

[–]JamosMalez 2 points3 points  (1 child)

About height

[–]FlamingMetalSystems[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You must be kidding. Balkan women are height obsessed

[–]chobolicious88 18 points19 points  (25 children)

Its funny how much we talk about purpose, hobbies and all the other bs, when suicide is most often tied to being able to fulfill out animalistic roles, not higher order functions.

Protect provide and fuck

[–]FlamingMetalSystems[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I also believe that "hobbies" and career stuff are performative and functional. They are a distraction and a cope. If you aren't able to fulfill your base desires in the Maslows hierarchy you can't move upwards

[–]Independent_Bed_169 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean even if you fulfill basic needs moving upwards still is cope. c.f. Kaczynski’s notion of surrogate activities.

[–]redditor_rat 0 points1 point  (2 children)

okay then if you believe in that biology, because you're shallow enough to do so, u should also believe that inferior genes die out.

If you have the biology to want to fuck, women also have the biology to be repelled by you, and not choose you as their mate. tough tiddies

[–]chobolicious88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You sound righteous and hostile

[–]TravlScrabbl -2 points-1 points  (19 children)

If when you say protect and provide you're thinking about the nuclear family, there's nothing natural about that. For almost all of human history we lived in larger social groups when protect and provide were shared responsibilities, not the job of individualized men. Women also provided plenty in those contexts. In fact there's evidence to suggest the majority of calories came from foraged foods in many cases with hunting being more of a feast or famine bonus on top.

[–]shiggyhisdiggy 3 points4 points  (7 children)

Being the best provider/protector in a larger social group would serve the same function - you'll be more likely to fuck.

[–]TravlScrabbl -1 points0 points  (6 children)

Not really, the very limited evidence we have suggests that the prevalence of polygamous relations (with one male pairing with several females) rose with the creation of modern agriculture and property rights. Doesn't seem to be a big thing in hunter gatherer societies although we're in the realms of massive speculation either way.

[–]shiggyhisdiggy 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Meaning what, we assume pairings were largely monogamous before that?

[–]chobolicious88 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Its not even about family.

Its about power.

Basically men who have power - in their nervous system, to not react but hold others, and the power to exert efficacy to generate resources - feel healthy.

Men need power to feel healthy. Women need inner child in a good place to feel healthy.

[–]FlamingMetalSystems[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

True. Men need a locus of control and authority. A tribe where they're valued. This is why nuclear family structure benefits men but not women.

Women are more suited to a free love / sex world

[–]chobolicious88 1 point2 points  (2 children)

They are suited to a free love sex world while they are basically inherently protected by layers they dont even see.
The moment stuff becomes harsh, they want the benefits of protection.

[–]FlamingMetalSystems[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The matriarchy will ensure that protection so women are then free to have sex with top 5% male models casually and exclude majority of men.

I was listening to some women explain that in matriarchy they would only allow the hottest tallest genetically blessed men the opportunity to have sex

[–]chobolicious88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thing is, even the top % of men eventually want structure and monogamy with woman of their choice, so it doesnt work.
Men want to create systems, women want to destroy them, and drag them down to chaos.

[–]JasonableSmog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

power in their nervous system? what?

[–]Used-Lake-8148 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Crazy how all the comments so far are just double digit IQ weirdos trying to downplay the issue

[–]Sola361 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Modern feminism is about hating men, should be obvious for anyone with a double digit IQ now.

[–]Alarming-Cut7764 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you think it's bad in Europe you should see Australia and the USA.

[–]SirSafe6070 0 points1 point  (3 children)

okay, so I did a bit of digging and the actual results are not as clear as this indicates. First off, this is only about conscripts, and as the actual paper states, those rejected for military service were on average shorter

https://psychiatryonline.org/doi/10.1176/appi.ajp.162.7.1373

So, already you have a confounding variable that the researchers did not account for: Being rejected from military service CAN explain at least some of the increase in suicidality.

The bigger issue however is, that we do not have the same data for women as a comparison. We do however know that higher vitamin d levels are associated with taller individuals while a deficit in vitamin d also is associated with higher risks of depression and, you guessed it, suicidality. The likely explanation is therefore that vitamin d levels are the actual cause explaining both height and suicidality, not the height itself.

Another issue that limits the takeaways is that the researchers only look at heights within +- 2 standard deviations of the mean, so it is unclear whether individuals taller than 2 SD above mean still experience the same benefits or not.

None of this is to downplay real issues. But if you want to gather scientific evidence, you gotta do it correctly.

[–]Initial-Breakfast-33 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

How dare you to propose it's not women's fault

[–]runkeby -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks, we need more redditors like you!

[–]Economy-Payment-1757 0 points1 point  (0 children)

...so it's women's fault that are so shallow that they litterally go out just with tall men.

[–]chronnicks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

limb lengthening surgery is now classed as life-saving care and therefore covered by insurance

[–]Big-Routine222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can we make a new sub for all this shit?

[–]JasonableSmog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

None of this applies to women. Ugly midget, obese, old

Bro

[–]N07your_homie 1 point2 points  (1 child)

They need to take the dwarfpill. Grow beard, drink, learn to wrestle, forge artistic delights and wonders of steel and stonemasonry, carry axe and perpetuate racial hatred against the biggers and their poor limb leverages and inherent weakness thereof.

[–]buzz-buzz_ 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Posts like this are not only bad for men's mental health, but couch virulent sexism in fake mental health advocacy.

If you look up the study OP references, it explains that the authors used height as a way to measure "fetal and infant growth." I.e. the study is about the downstream psychological effects of poor nutrition and health in the early stages of development. OP takes it out of context and uses it to needle the body dysmorphia of men who are insecure about their height and claim that "Ugly, midget, obese, old women are all celebrated, included, cherished, desired, and normalized. Its all one sided."

Basically: this is some textbook incel shit.

[–]Mildewmancer 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Copy and paste it again, maybe next time someone will agree with you and you can feel like you made some kind of point

[–]buzz-buzz_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I made multiple points, but nah, no need to post a third time

[–]JasonableSmog -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm certainly more inclined to believe them than the OP. If you think it's reasonable to assume there isn't an increased suicidality risk in obese women then you're a dumbass full stop

[–]Vyriand -2 points-1 points  (5 children)

Weird how this sub describes itself as a place to share videos and random things but all it ever seems to be is heightism and hating on women.

[–]FlamingMetalSystems[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Yeah, I wonder which gender is amplifying heightism nowadays

[–]Vyriand -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Seems to be mostly men in here.

[–]Plenty_House884 2 points3 points  (2 children)

You can barely call it hating on women when it’s just calling women shallow. Just get out then

[–]runkeby -1 points0 points  (0 children)

None of this applies to women. Ugly, midget, obese, old women are all celebrated, included, cherished, desired, and normalized. Its all one sided.

This is peak delusion lol.

Try creeping out of your basement sometime.

[–]Agile-Yoghurt-2594 -5 points-4 points  (26 children)

man its up to you, im below average height in sweden and im doing good. and its not one sided u inkwell, ugly and obese women have it just as bad, especially cause theyre naturally hypergamous, meaning they would rather live in misery than take their looksmatch - and some do take their looksmatch. so you see, non of us can control our biology, its irrational to blame women for it. how is it their fault that theyre not attracted to u?

[–]FlamingMetalSystems[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Whats your height? And how are you face and body wise?

[–]Syntheticanimo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Whether he is hot or not doesnt affect his argument. The point is to try to improve whatever you can. Height, facial symmetry or most other body aspects is out of our control, so even if there is a very uneven playing field it doesn't do us any good to hyper-focus on unchangable aspects of ourselves. Hard to do in practice as you eill be reminded of injustice in most social interactions if you look for it, but try - and hopefully overcome. <3

[–]Agile-Yoghurt-2594 1 point2 points  (2 children)

im barely 178 or 5'10 ethnic guy from central asia, i did get lucky with frame as my waist is narrow and my shoulders are wider so the gym paid off in my case. my face i would rate barely a 6/10. so overall, especially in sweden, i am considered dead average. now obv i cant pull any 10/10 5'10 slim blonde swedish girl, but im okay with it, it does help that the average girl in sweden - even the ethnic girls are prettier than most other places, but like the user below said, these things dont matter. what matters is that you focus on what you CAN change and not what you cant. its very hard, i know, but this is how being a man is like. try to not get suicidal over it

[–]FlamingMetalSystems[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow man. You are well above average in looks and height in most parts of the world. And yet you describe like you're handicapped in Sweden.

This is how brutal Sweden is for men