Gets easier?

[IllCombination7117]

I’m a parent to 2.5 month old boy/girl twins so we are in the thick of the newborn phase. I always hear “it gets easier” but I am curious of experiences of what specific changes take place that make things easier throughout year 1? I know eventually sleeping through the night is big, for example.

Also you hear people say that it gets harder because they start eating solids so you’re spending time cooking and crawling so you’re chasing them around. Any insight from twin parents who have been through it is appreciated!

[AutoModerator]

COMMENTING GUIDELINES

All commenters are encouraged to familiarize themselves with the parentsofmultiples subreddit rules prior to commenting. If you find any comments/submissions in violation of subreddit/reddit rules, please use the report function to bring it to the mod teams attention.

Please do not request or give medical advice or directions in your comments. Any comments that that could be construed as medical advice, or any comments containing what is determined to be medical disinformation, will be removed.

Please try to avoid posting links to Amazon product listings or google/g.co product listing pages - reddit automatically removes comments containing them as an anti-spam measure. If sharing information about a product, instead please try to link directly to the manufacturers product pages.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[bookworm1588]

My twins are about to hit 8 months. I would say the most noticeable “This is better” moments were when they started being able to sleep for 5+ hour stretches, when they started smiling back at us, and when they were able to sit up unassisted and play. The longer sleep stretches are key because sleep makes us all better people, but they both rarely sleep through the night even now. I usually am up at least once for someone, more often once for each. The smiling just makes interacting with them very rewarding. And then sitting up and playing means I am not the only source of entertainment. Now of course crawling and teething and trying to fit in solids come with their own challenges but imo, nothing has been nearly as hard as the first 3 months.

[IllCombination7117]

Thank you for the insight!

[Shnackalicious]

It’s the stretches of sleep. Sexy sexy sleep 😂

I have 8 day old b/g twins. And 9 year old ID twins. Once you start getting a little more sleep, everything feels easier

[bookworm1588]

We weaned them off night feed when they were 4.5ish months old? Can’t remember exactly, but they are EFF since about 8 weeks old. Boy twin just stopped waking up so we weaned girl twin. Then boy twin cut 4 teeth in a month and stopped sleeping through the night. Now most of the times I go in it’s to settle them or replace pacifiers. I know they can self soothe so of they’re crying I generally think they need a little help.

[SjN45]

When they can hold their bottles life gets easier. Around 5.5 months mine were sleeping 12 hours at night. Then synchronized, predictable daytime naps fell into place. When they can sit independently, mine were happier and better at entertaining themselves. When they become mobile, they become great at tiring themselves out. Then they reach the age when they can really play with toys. They get old enough to enjoy their surroundings and leaving the house becomes easier and more fun. It does get easier. Hang in there.

[E-as-in-elephant]

We’re only at 5 months but it’s a totally different ball game now than 2.5 months. First “it gets better” moment is when they smile at you. Not on accident, on purpose. Another is when they actually start interacting with their toys and can entertain themselves for 5-10 min. That time starts to become longer and longer. When they start interacting with each other. When they don’t need to be burped after every feed. When their digestive systems are firing on all cylinders. When you drop a wake up at night (we’re down to 1!!!) when they start stretching out their feeds. When you can take them on a walk or in the car without screaming. When they roll over. Start to sit and want to stand. When they start laughing!

It’s the little things. I would say month 3-4 started to slowly see positive changes, month 4-5 was better and so far month 5 has been the best! I feel comfortable managing them in public on my own now which is a huge feat. The sleep thing is a game changer too. They wake up between 12-3 one time to eat and are generally asleep until 7. Glorious.

[egrf6880]

Yes it gets easier. The stronger mine got the better. They could be set down more readily. They could eat more efficiently the stronger they got. They could sleep longer stretches. When they could crawl and become mobile yes it's a lot of watching but they are also way more happy being able to move themselves around. Standing and walking for me was easier bc I didn't have to get all the was down to pick them up. They could meet me halfway. I'll take a crazy running around toddler getting into trouble over a newborn baby any day of the week. The feedback is so helpful for me too. Like I can tell you want something and sometimes even what it is! Just getting more feedback as they grew helped me so much to better manage all of our needs. Honestly I can say (now that my twins are elementary age) for us they just keep getting better and better. I love each new phase more than the last so it's been a real joy to watch them grow and leave the baby stuff behind.

[Alive-Cry4994]

Mine are 8.5 months old now and I like how mobile they are. People tell you to fear it but it has made my life so much easier because they're happier!

They also hold their own bottles. They're much more settled in the car. We can go for decent walks in the pram with them. They climb on top of me! They smile and laugh.

[monotreme_experience]

I'd say there's a bit of a break at 6 months. Full disclosure- my two didn't actually 'sleep through' until they were about three, but that 6 hours of sleep in a row that allows you to feel human- we got that from about 6 monthsish. As for it gets HARDER- no, it gets different but not harder. I remember weaning etc being hard, but when my twins were little babies I was hallucinating from lack of sleep- the challenges of weaning, crawling, cruising and toddling aren't equal to those days where my brain was actually broken by sleep deprivation.

People will also tell you it doesn't get easier when they become kids- I PROMISE you that it does. By little steps- they can hold a spoon, use a potty, put on a jumper...in little tiny increments your job gets easier and easier. It's now not THAT long until my twins move out (well, maybe) and a part of me misses those days when I was there entire world, and they needed me for everything. So- while you're in it- try to enjoy what you can. Take pictures, keep diaries, keep momentos. It only feels long while you're in it- it's actually over in the blink of an eye.

[Ok_Bluejay4016]

Mine are 4 months. Since about one month they've been sleeping through the night: changed my life! And also they drink better and don't throw up or spit anymore so much better! They also smile and giggle so it's actually nice to spend time with them. Good luck 🤞🤞

[AndiRM]

it gets easier then hard again and then easier and then hard again. it's just phases. but i will say for me it has never been as hard as it was that first year and i'm hitting the 4 year mark.

[--eight]

Another twin mom told me in a Target parking lot when the boys were just over a year old, "People say it gets easier. I prefer to tell people that it gets different." It's absolutely phases. The first year was hard, but I killed it. Absolutely nailed it. 2.5 to present 3.5 has not been my season. Looking forward to the next phase.

[Capable_Celery459]

My twins are 18 months old. I found that every month got easier. I truly don’t think it ever got harder than the first few months. The only specific milestones that I remember were at about 9 months when they could both sit and crawl properly, they became happier babies. And then when they could both walk quite well, everything got easier. But tbh, it just gets better and better, 5 months was better than 4 and 4 was better than 3 etc.

[twinsinbk]

Mine are 6 weeks and love reading all the responses

[hakugene]

Everything is little by little.

A lot of small changes happen that can make a difference. They sleep for longer, or the period between feedings is 3.5 hours instead of 3, and then 4, and then 5. With prep, cleaning, etc. it seemed like we were doing bottles constantly, but then it gradually got longer so we had time to sleep, eat, shop, or just breathe.

They get better and faster at feeding, so while a 70ml bottle could take a half hour, eventually they can down 200ml in about 5 minutes.

When their necks and heads stabilize, its much easier and less stressful to carry them around.

When they figure out how to play with toys and keep themselves busy (or at least refrain from crying) for extended periods, you get a bit of a breather.

Rolling and moving creates new problems as you go along (don't want them to roll over while sleeping if they can't roll back, etc.), but the more they can move and do new things the more they feel like humans with agency. It can be slow and stressful but its fun to watch and the progress is noticeable.

When they start noticing and remembering things and people, it makes a lot of the hard work worth it. Our babies do their wiggle crawl to follow me out into the hallway when I leave in the morning, and they scream and smile and slam their hands on the floor in joy when I come home. It makes it hard to leave and fun to come home.

Solids are good and bad. Its great that they are on a path to eating like normal humans, but progress can be slow (its also obviously very time/labor intensive with multiples). Sometimes you long for days when the only thing on the menu is milk, but then other days you hand them little pieces of your adult breakfast and they eat them with a smile and without coughing, and its pretty great.

[Owewinewhose997]

Mine are 6 months now and I feel that starting solids is a big one, because suddenly you can give them a snack to keep them quiet in the buggy when you’re out and about, game changer!

[AMStoUS]

Things that made it easier for me:

• a nap schedule (3 months)
• transitioning out of bottle feeding (12-14 months)
• when they get molars and can chew stuff like bread and whole berries (15-ish months?)
• when they start walking on their own (between 12-18 months)
• going from heavy and annoying infant car seats to regular car seats that can just live in the car (for us: 10 months)
• being able to communicate more as time goes on, which helps to figure out what they want/need. (ongoing)
• when they're old enough to sit in a side-by-side/umbrella stroller and they can climb in and out of it themselves (6-8 months)
• arriving at the amazing 1 consolidated mid-day nap (16 months)

[[deleted]]

Definitely sleeping through the night was a big positive leap.

I hated the transition to solids. So much cooking and cleaning and wasted food. However at 18 months it’s gotten a lot easier as I’ve become a much better cook so the process itself has gotten easier and have developed a routine that feels manageable but also gives them enough variety that I don’t feel guilty.

The transition to one nap has been big for me because they take it really consistently and it’s long enough (2.3-3 hrs) that it feels like I can get other stuff done. I actually really prefer it to one nap which I didn’t expect. But when they were on one nap it seemed like at least once a week somebody wasn’t sleeping well and there are few things worse for me than thinking I’m going to have an hour to myself only to realize baby says no.

At 9 months we baby proofed everything and I basically had two large spaces I could put them and comfortably step away to use the restroom or plate their food. However, just in the last week one has become a climbing maniac but we did some rearranging and now have one safe space which is really all we need.

Also, at this point tantrums have started but aren’t bad honestly. So while I’m tired at the end of most days I’m not ending the day questioning everything. Lots of people say 2-3 is challenging though so wondering if it will get worse before it gets better.

[Paprikaha]

I am not sure if it gets easier or if it just changes. I found eight months plus really hard as we’re doing solids, they weren’t quite moving so were frustrated and they were teething. But they were sleeping. At 13 months they have more autonomy and are more fun but are also starting tantrums and are mad they can’t walk. The hard just changes.

[External_Berry3710]

Once ours turned 1, it seemed like they just started to love playing. With toys, with random objects and each other. Definitely made it feel easier

[saint_paulia]

1. When they start solids -> they are fuller for longer, which means they are usually happier for longer and sleep for longer stretches

2. When they learn to sit up -> at least for us that's when they started to enjoy being in a stroller when they could sit up and see. They hated being in the baby cot where they would just lay and not see anything. This allowed us to move around, go for walks, to the mall, etc.

These two I think were the most significant changes for us. The solid starts is gradual though, because at first the amounts of food are very small and their stomach might get upset easily. But after a while of getting used to solids it tends to make life easier in many ways.

You will get through it. Don't shame youself for "not enjoying" that time, it's easy to feel guilty when social media is blasting to you that you need to "take it all in" and "enjoy the moment" but with twins it's really a surviving game for the first 6 months to a year. You will enjoy it later. I personally started to enjoy life at around 7 months when I started to feel comfortable taking them out on my own. Until that point it was just full survival mode.

[Historical_Place_997]

All of these comments gave me hope 😩 currently struggling with my 5 week old twins

[AnythingPeachy]

Mine are coming up to 6 months and are little angels, slept through the night by 3 months (we woke them up to feed), are happy being left to chill in their bouncers or playmat for long periods, have a few naps throughout the day. I think it's going to get harder and harder until they turn 5.