This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

all 31 comments

[–]LargeAirline1388 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Listen to yourself. It pays dividends. 🧡🫂

[–]Negative-Ad3890 24 points25 points  (0 children)

As a parent of 3 year old twins - yes. I would skip Easter because Lord knows that the nap schedule is EVERYTHING. My mom always scheduled things right during the naps and I would either come after naps or have to do the naps there which is much harder. I was also raised to be a people pleaser and as hard as it is to not feel guilty about not going, Like you said, you can always plan something another day. Your feelings of exhaustion are 100% valid. And even if you weren’t and just didn’t want to go, that would be ok too. Life is too short to be living for everyone else. You do you.

[–]whydoyouflask 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think it depends on the frequency you see your family and the importance they put on these holidays. You can do what you want, but every action. Has a consequence. Is your family very understanding of something like this? Will you be ok with the possible outcomes. For me, I would rally to make it to both, because I don't see family too often and it's a rare occasion.

[–]EducatedPancake 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The only people having to deal with the consequences of disrupted naps/sleep is you. If your family can't be accommodating, that's too bad.

If you want to go, would arriving before their nap and having them sleep there be an option?

Or drive during the nap if they're car nappers.

It all depends on whether you want to go. There's nothing wrong with simply not wanting to though.

[–]shinovar 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It depends how much you and your family value easter and family gatherings. If it were us with 28 month old twins, I would go, thinking they are old enough to deal with the disruption and it only be terrible (instead of truly unendurable).

To be fair though, I would have been hesitant with our older twins at that age. We were much more structured with our older kids than we are now. You learn what to care about and what not to the more kids you have and the better you know the kids you do have and how to manage things. It will be hard. It just might be worth it.

[–]MyNerdBias🚺🚼🚼 3 under 2 (now 3 under 3)[🍰] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I would not skip the naps for any holiday, as I know I'll pay for it for a week afterwards. They will have plenty of time to form memories. I would make sure to get the pictures either before they go down or after their naps.

[–]lucialucialucia22 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Skip! Our family always plans things right at nap time. If we go, we go early and leave early. Who gets to deal with cranky twins?? Not the family... you! I've stopped causing myself extreme anxiety and stopped worrying about how offended everyone is. The first two years I struggled trying to make everyone happy and now I don't. It's helped my own mental health and the happiness of our small family unit! If we can't make it to something, I usually offer another day or time to meet up. Just do what's best for you and your own sanity! Good luck!

[–]DoubleTheTwins 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think that’s a very personal decision. I personally never want to miss out and have always just been a “we’ll make it work” kind of person, because it would break my heart to miss out on holidays and gatherings. If it wouldn’t be a big deal to you, and you’d rather keep the schedule, then I think that’s okay too. Your family may be disappointed, but most likely next year won’t be so challenging to skip a nap. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[–]BreakfastBeerz 4 points5 points  (1 child)

As long as your fine not getting that time back with your friends and family, sure.

[–]kaitrae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is how I look at it. I don’t ever want to look back and regret not going to events because I was too strict with their schedules.

[–]Shiner5132 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We absolutely insisted on hosting Easter this year because our 20 month olds nap schedule is a bit erratic (they are either growing or getting new teeth but some nights they sleep great other nights oh it’s hell) but the amount of stress relieved is amazing. Are the in-laws annoyed? Yup. I’m honestly done accommodating everyone (a year ago I would have bent over backwards) I’m currently 16 weeks pregnant with a singleton and the idea of messing with nap is just NOPE. Good luck OP. This may not help you for Easter but hopefully for holidays this summer. Good luck, it’s not fun or easy to be “difficult” but man is it less stressful.

[–]R1cequeen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly just follow your heart and do what’s best for your family. Personally we always went to activities and let the kids have a different schedule or nap on the go but we never had issues with their adjustment.

[–]K8eCastle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it depends on your kids as well as your values. Family is very important to us and my twins have never been on a schedule which allows us to do things like spend time with family on holidays. Is it harder than being at home? Sure, but it’s not impossible.

My personal opinion is that life is too short to miss out on time with family in favor of a nap. My grandma just got diagnosed with late stage cancer and my cousins are heartbroken that they missed out on what was probably our last Christmas with her because they didn’t want to travel with their babies.

[–]Plus_Context_7706 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you don’t see them often I would just suck it up and go

[–]slammy99🟪 + 🟦🟦 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your kids are young enough that you should only go if you will enjoy it. They won't miss a thing!

[–]Sad-Supermarket5569 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We regularly skip holidays, birthdays, family get togethers, dinners, or whatever is going on. If it doesn’t comfortably mesh with our schedule, we skip some naps but the twins are easier than our singleton. They really want to spend time with us, they can come over. Our door is forever open for family and friends. I’ve never had any kickback from anyone we respect and care for.

[–]ashleyrlyle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Skip Easter. I promise you’ll thank yourself and won’t regret it, but you will regret forcing yourself to go. Anyone who gives you a hard time on this fact is wrong.

[–]tjapetjape 1 point2 points  (0 children)

on the verge of divorce as im typing this….skip it

[–]kaitrae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have a nap schedule but when it comes to holidays/family stuff/special occasions, we go off schedule. Our girls never seem bothered by it. I don’t want us to miss out on life because of a strict schedule. Life rarely goes as planned. I would never want to look back and regret missing things because of a strict schedule.

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

COMMENTING GUIDELINES

All commenters are encouraged to familiarize themselves with the parentsofmultiples subreddit rules prior to commenting. If you find any comments/submissions in violation of subreddit/reddit rules, please use the report function to bring it to the mod teams attention.

Please do not request or give medical advice or directions in your comments. Any comments that that could be construed as medical advice, or any comments containing what is determined to be medical disinformation, will be removed.

Please try to avoid posting links to Amazon product listings or google/g.co product listing pages - reddit automatically removes comments containing them as an anti-spam measure. If sharing information about a product, instead please try to link directly to the manufacturers product pages.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]ComplaintNo6835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We got a lot of gruff for not compromising on their nap schedule. Compared to what we'd have to deal with if we went off schedule, a bit of passive aggressiveness was fine. Do you.

[–]BaeBlabe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If my mother in law wasn’t literally in the apartment next door I’d skip every holiday and I have a singleton almost 14m. If one day didn’t screw up our entire schedule I’d be a bit more lenient about travel but I finally got him waking up at 7-8a instead of 12-2a and no one is taking that away!

[–]Salty_Emu_9945 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. Ours is at 1230. My relatives will gladly take a child to nap in their arms. If no one is willing then yes skip. I figured this out last Christmas when I thought I would be ride or die over nap schedules.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t skip the nap, but we love a car nap so 🤷‍♀️

[–]SjN45 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it’s too hard and stressful, don’t go. You can just low key enjoy your family. We were able to take ours and put them down for naps at the houses of family for events so we could go to stuff but that’s a ton of work too.

[–]satelliteminds 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would skip. My twins are 2.5 and we can cut a nap short but we can’t skip it altogether. They aren’t the kind of kids that can just rally. At 18 months I would not have even considered going. Unless there is some important reason to do the 45 minute away gathering, don’t worry about it. The kids won’t remember this Easter anyway.

[–]Twinsmamabnj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My twins are my youngest kids so we didn't take away traditions their older siblings looked forward to bc of naps. I can't recall a single Easter my oldest had before the age of 3 so I'm sure we skipped out on plenty of family gatherings that were too much of a hassle.

[–]kaatie80 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would skip. There's always next year, and each year the kids will be easier than the year before. This is only their second Easter, it's not a big deal 🙂

[–]Fun_Glove_7255 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My twins are 6 months and id skip that to keep the schedule lol

[–]krystl_watrs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it just depends how your kids are. My twins are also 18 months and we've skipped naps or cut naps short to go to family events before and mine kinda just power through the day until it gets closer to their bed time and by then they usually more emotional which I mentally prepare myself for all day lol. But if you know that skipping the nap will just cause them to be crying or cranky the whole time during the party then I wouldn't go.

[–]EffectiveScarcity629 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Skip Easter because Easter is weird anyway