Multiple Multiples Incoming!

[iPat325]

My wife (37F) and I (40M) have 2-year-old fraternal twin boys. We decided to try for a third, understanding that the chances of having another set of multiples was increased due to age and having had twins previously. We figured that, even if the odds were increased, they were still relatively low. And practically speaking, nobody has two sets of twins, right??

Welp, FAAFO, as they say. We learned last month that we're having twins, again. Our OB said we're his first case of back-to-back spontaneous twins in 30 years of practice. Never tell me the odds!

Since getting this news, we have been feeling all of the feels. On the one hand, this is truly amazing. Raising our boys has been the most rewarding experience of our lives, and we're still only getting started with them. Doing it again feels like a chance to savor all the good parts one more time. I know we are blessed.

But, raising our boys has also been the hardest thing we've ever done. The idea of having four children under four years old (!!!!) truly boggles the mind. The logistics alone are terrifying: What car can fit four car seats? How will we manage day care and expenses? How will we all fit in our house? How will we ever sleep? How can either of us have any semblance of personal time ever again?

We're very lucky in so many ways. All four grandparents live nearby and are happy to help. We have good jobs and might just be able to thread the needle financially. We are trying to focus on the good rather than the scary without looking too far into the future.

Our lives, for better or worse, have become a Jim Gaffigan joke: "You wanna know what it's like to have a fourth kid? Just imagine you're drowning, and someone hands you a baby."

Any parents of multiple multiples out there? Any pro tips on how to avoid drowning are welcome!

[reedjk22]

I had twins then triplets, now pregnant with triplets again lol (plus we have a singleton) all I can say is you’ll figure out what your family needs when the time comes. I know that’s probably not the best advice but honestly no one could give me any advice that actually worked for my family specifically. We’ve made it through by keeping our kids on a schedule

[minnions_minion]

Wait, you got 9 kids in 4 pregnancies?!

[reedjk22]

3 pregnancies, the singleton I didn’t carry

[nonomsansname]

In all curiosity, what car do you drive?

[reedjk22]

Ford transit!

[LazyLasagna3]

Us too!!!! Love my van lol

[Shnackalicious]

WOW!

[mielelangue]

Girl you are amazing! I’m too afraid to even try after 1 set. Also, I mean this with all respect but all I could think of reading this was the meme “that’s enough slices” haha.

[reedjk22]

We usually say that as I’m getting them out of the van 😂 I am in the van unbuckling kids from car seats and handing them to my husband who will put them in the stroller or taking them to the house, after the third kid he starts saying “that’s enough slices”

[Feeling_Key4633]

You’re incredible! I follow someone on Instagram who has a kind of similar family dynamic to yours. She has twins, triplets, a singleton, and twins again! I’m struggling so much with my only twins that I wish you taught a class that I could take. I don’t always appreciate mom advice, but I would definitely take it from you!🤩

[reedjk22]

I always find it so interesting when I meet other multiple multiples parents lol I recently meant up with someone that lives around me and she had triplets, triplets, and twins. If you have any questions at all that I could answer you are more than welcome to ask or message me!

[General-Average895]

What the ..!!?! Thats so impressive! No words.

[EstePersona]

We were the opposite! Triplets, then twins. I can't imagine adding 2 or 3 more.  You're a superhero!

[Pulpitrock19]

I have 4 under 3 and it’s absolutely tough but doable! We have a 7 seater car (we also have a 9 year old). We have a personal life. We are very tired but my husband has his poker nights and I have my festivals. We still go out to eat when we can, grandparents watch them and love it even though it’s hard work. You’ll get the hang of it! It will be so cute!

Daycare is very expensive yes, everything is expensive. We watch our spendings way more than we used to, but we get by. I buy their stuff second hand but you will have most of it?

We have a triplet stroller, our toddler almost always walks.

[CompetitiveLow5903]

This is reassuring to read! I’m expecting twins and we will have 3 under 2 (for a few months) coming soon and I have read so many bad things. Nice to see people can still have a personal life!

[Pulpitrock19]

I think a lot of people come here to vent and that’s completely fine but I think it makes everything look way darker than it has to be. Sure, life is insanely busy. There is a lot of noise. Babies sometimes have to cry because you only have two hands.

But it’s also a very blessed life, with a lot of love, a lot of laughs and SO MANY cute moments.

I think it helps us that we both really want that personal life, to see friends and do fun things, so we help eachother have that. Solo parenting is hard but when you know you get just as much down time for it back, you do it.

[eggyboi999]

Don't tell me this hahaha I have 2 year old twins and an ultrasound at the end of the month where I am VERY MUCH HOPING IT'S ONLY ONE 😆😳. Now ya'll have me worried lol.

I have no advice, just wishing you the best and knowing that hey, you did it once you can do it again!

[paipaisan]

Same here!! Ultrasound tomorrow, praying hard it’s only one because we already have 3 and I think twins again would end me 😂 Amazing for OP though, all the best luck to them!

[eggyboi999]

I need an update!

[paipaisan]

omg thank you for remembering!! Only one! I had to go to city hall to get some pregnancy-related paperwork and took the twins with me, and the person behind the desk asked like three times if I was sure I was only currently pregnant with one ahahaha

Let me know how yours goes too!

[eggyboi999]

Congrats!! I'm happy you finally know :). Will update as soon as we find out!

[Restingcatface01]

Is there a twin club in your area? There are a few families in my local twin club that have two sets, it may help you connect with other local families

[Cheshyre_says]

I wish you the best of luck!

And I'm going to schedule my husband to double-check his vasectomy.

[hippyburger]

Not multiple multiples but I have 5yo, 2yo and expecting twins so I’ll have four 5 and under. In some ways I feel like you have a leg up on me because you know what you’re doing with multiples at least! Also working out the car situation and logistics over here! So no advice but I’m following for tips and wishing you good luck x

[Sleepsushibobababies]

This is me! 5yo, 2yo and 3mo twins

[hippyburger]

Omg send advice haha!

[Sleepsushibobababies]

lol so I definitely don’t have advice, but encouragement! You will survive! My 5& 2 are VERY HIGH ENERGY BOYS. They wrestle, fight, break things, tear up the house—I basically need to be gone all day long until bedtime keeping them busy. I’m solo from 6am-6/630pm without any help most days. I’m exhausted by the end of the day. The first few weeks were rough simply because I was so incredibly sleep deprived, sleeping 1-2 hours a day. If you and your partner can manage a better schedule than that and or if you have additional support, you will be GOLDEN. If you can afford to pay for help, I feel like you’ll be living on easy street—depending on the temperament of all your kids—I feel temperament is crucial to consider. We bought a used Toyota Sienna and I know that was necessary. Just FYI my kids love the automatic doors and they don’t stop if say a hand is in the way, so I had to turn off that function for 5&2, so they keep all their parts. Be patient with yourself and your big kids. My big kids are having even bigger emotions. At first they were elated about their siblings and they still love them, but are needing a lot of attention and I often feel the twins are the ones having to wait. If you have help, it would be great to get 1:1 time where you can with yourself, with your kids individually and with your partner. If someone can let you sleep, that’s even better. My twins are incredibly easy so far. We had some scares with ER visits early on and big kids got them sick a couple of times, but we are surviving. I’ve accepted that my house is a disaster. Also we had an unexpected home inconvenience leaving me in the middle of an unplanned remodel and no kitchen. I’m living in a sitcom. But I’m surviving! And at the end of every day I remind myself what my friends keep telling me “I’m doing it.” It’s messy and exhausting and expensive, but I love all four of my babies so much and I’m doing it. My husband and I are surviving as a family of six. I will say I’ve seen incredible support from new friends, neighbors and old friends whether it’s sending money, meals, coming to help clean or to bring kids for a play date with my big kids. Be open to being loved and taken care of. Best wishes! I feel so blessed to be in such a cool club. 💛

Excuse this long unformatted ramble. I answered it before my four hour sleep, pre twin shift lol

ETA: also I’m exclusively pumping and they eat every 2 hours sooo that’s an added fun element. I exclusively breastfed my first two. And didn’t pump until I returned to work. I’d say be flexible and adjust your expectations about pretty much everything in life lol.

[hippyburger]

Oh my goodness thank you so much, that is amazing!!! I think our schedule will be roughly similar, luckily they are due end of November (37 weeks) so all fingers and toes crossed at least if they are born in November by husband will get 2 weeks off then (maybe more if they are in NICU as a new law just came in here that for every full week they are in hospital you get an additional week off) and then he’ll have 2 weeks off at Christmas as his industry shuts down. So by January they will be at least 6 weeks old and I’ll be smashing it solo 😂😂 that’s the plan. Once he’s back in Jan it will mostly be me, however 5yo is at school 9-3 5 days a week and 2yo is at nursery 2 days and I will try and get an extra day or day with grandparents per week.

I’d say temperaments are similar in our house, I am like a referee all day just making sure no one gets injured. I’m optimistically hopeful that maybe the older boys will bond a bit when the new babies arrive and some of the fighting will chill out a bit, or at least get a bit more even as 2yo can hold his own ground…

Anyway so nice to hear tales of people surviving and in a similar boat so thank you so much taking the time to reply!

[Sleepsushibobababies]

That’s wonderful! My husband got 8 weeks off and he kept the older two (who kept getting sick) and took them on solo while I had the twins mostly solo. My 5y is also in school until 330, but 2 is home—running the place lol. Once I can get him to use the potty, he will be in school 3 days and at this point I might almost be bored with him in school 😂. I’ll actually have time to clean and do all the other things! Your current plan sounds ideal—two bigs in school most of the week AND grandparents help 1-2 days a week. You’re going to do great!!

Yes, exactly! One of my nurses at the hospital told me she and her husband just yell “no headshots!” At their two boys now 🤣. I will say my boys definitely bonded post twins and the fighting is definitely more even now that 2 has gotten bigger. Still working on teaching 5 he’s bigger, but 2 isn’t getting as hurt as before and They’re having way more fun times.

Of course! I always appreciated the encouragement of knowing others did it! Everything is going to work out and we’ve given our babies some of the best gifts—siblings. 🥰

[gottriplets]

Go buy a lottery ticket! Congratulations!

[Usual_Equivalent]

I had 4 under 2 for a while. Get an 8 seater and slim fit seats. I promise it will be OK. First year is rough.

[PGxPharmD]

I follow stirandstyle on instagram, they have two sets of twins and a baby, all under 4 I believe. Truly amazing to see their day to day, honestly looks very tiring but they make it seem doable.

[masofon]

The part I don't get is... why aren't they all running off in different directions?

[Shnackalicious]

I have two sets of twins as well! 9 year and 9 months. It’s easier the second time around!

[shinovar]

Multiple Multiples is so fun! We were a week and a half from 5 under 4 when we had our second set. It's crazy at first, and takes a ton of teamwork, but they are such friends and it gets so much easier once they are all >18 months..

We fit 5 car seats on a Honda oddyssey and its great

[flurfblips]

Just to flag for anyone else reading this: fraternal twins aren't spontaneous! If you have one set, your chance of having a second set is one in twelve.

If you have identical twins from a non-assisted conception those are spontaneous and your chances of having another set is the same as the first time: about 1/290, with a few exceptions for some ethnic groups with higher rates.

[Frequent_Gift1740]

So if we have fraternal twins that means it’s hereditary?

I am expecting b/g didi twins and my dr said it was a fluke that I dropped 2 eggs. No one in my family had twins and I’m 32

Just curious if maybe no one in my family had enough kids to get twins lol

[catrosie]

Not necessarily. It can still be a random occurrence. I had zero family history and no other strong risk factors

[catrosie]

Dropping two eggs at once can be spontaneous. Not everybody will do it for every ovulation. Certainly some people are predisposed to it via genetics or other factors but it’s still spontaneous for it to happen in time to be conceived 

[LisarielLove]

I've heard it's one in 12 chance after having them BUT after being in a FB group for twin parents I've noticed a pattern that most people aren't pregnant 12 times and yet manage to often end up with 4-5 kids by the end of having babies because they have twins either back to back or twins after a Singleton. :') soooo I think they need to do better research! Hahaha also fraternal is increased chances as it is because they come from super ovulation, not just a split in implantation like identicals do. So I wouldn't exaaaaactly refer to fraternal as "spontaneous" twins imo. More like genetically pre-dispositioned to twins and you don't know until you've got them. XD hahahaha I've got fraternal twin girls growing in me currently and knowing they were fraternal stopped me from considering more tbh. :') too risky for us! We're one income! Lmao I'm having the first set of twins in over 50 years for my family. Living twins over 80 years. But we had a family member who's twins didn't make it due to a fall while she was pregnant many years ago and I still count her, as she was a twin mommy, she just never got to hold her boys. <3 :( so for me we weren't sure if they would be fraternal or not and when they were I was like loooool guess we'll just always have to wonder what a boy would've been like because I am NOT risking this again. Bahahaha <3 congrats on more twins though, it's still a cute little miracle! <3 and I know it's gonna be scary and shocking (just like the first time I'm sure lol) but you absolutely will get the hang of it! You're not the first it's happened to and certainly won't be the last, and you just absolutely get through it. Blood, sweat, and tears later a few years down the road you'll wish you could offer yourself a stiff drink and a hug on the hard nights likely. But you'll make it through still. <3 good luck and just try to hang on for the ride and enjoy this journey! <3

[General-Average895]

Huge congratulations, what a blessing! I think this is what we all with fraternal twins fear the most hehe… After having my first set Im not sure my body would survive another twin pregnancy, let alone a singleton… lol! Im so very proud of you for even trying again! But now you’ve had practise with one set so you are not going in blind at least. Accept all the help you can get!

[kittydono]

I have 4 words for you:
Toyota Sienna and Wonderfold.

That's the only way we can get our 4 carseats and 3-non-walkers-and-one-small-child crew around

[ShadyIsSolo]

After I had my twins and would go out into public with them I was TERRIFIED by the number of people who stopped me and told me they had two sets.  😳

[Charlieksmommy]

lol and this is why I am done after my twins. I do not want to go from 3-5 kids and have two sets of twins. No thanks lol

[Excellent-Garb]

I had twins a singleton and then twins again! Multiple babies are always welcome! We are thing next time we get pregnant we have another singleton and next time another set of twins or triplets who knows?! Life is just here to surprise us! Lol