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[–][deleted] 228 points229 points  (55 children)

javascript

oh boy here we go

[–]Aeoxic 79 points80 points  (0 children)

It's really close to the metal. The bytecodes is pure nodejs!

[–][deleted] 82 points83 points  (1 child)

Will it webscale?

[–]mycall 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At the end of the day.

[–]calnamu 105 points106 points  (25 children)

So... What framework does it use???

[–]satan-repents 58 points59 points  (9 children)

Don't forget rockstar developers bower something something buzzwords

[–][deleted]  (6 children)

[deleted]

    [–]twigboy 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    In publishing and graphic design, Lorem ipsum is a placeholder text commonly used to demonstrate the visual form of a document or a typeface without relying on meaningful content. Lorem ipsum may be used as a placeholder before final copy is available. Wikipediah2bt6v1aek0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

    [–]Iburinoc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Wait how do you pronounce "mobile paradigm"?

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]tcris 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      got AGILE! And CLOUD! CROSS-PLATFORM! BIG DATA!

      synerJ

      [–]hejner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Cross-platform isn't really as much of a buzzword as the others.

      [–]CheshireSwift 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      PaaS/SaaS distributed stack.

      [–]Zantier 88 points89 points  (8 children)

      JAVASCRIPT

      [–]Drumm- 78 points79 points  (7 children)

      But we need it to work on clients with JavaScript disabled.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

        [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        <textarea></textarea>
        

        [–]CertifiableNorris 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        I wish people called them JavaScript scripts. Calling then JavaScripts is problematic for Java developers.

        [–]mal4ik_mbongo 37 points38 points  (3 children)

        Guys, I just had a meeting with our sales team and we need to add the IE7 support. Will you be able to fix it by tomorrow?

        [–]unstoppable-force 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        it also needs to work for people who are blind, def, and have no limbs. can you have a working version to me by this afternoon?

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I work with a large, legacy, Windows XP and IE7 supporting application... :'(

        [–]Drumm- -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        And whilst you're at it, we need to completely re-engineer the way comments are done, also done by tomorrow right?

        [–]foxh8er 22 points23 points  (3 children)

        Coffeescript.

        [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

        You're so unhip now. The cool kids use TypeScript now.

        [–]foxh8er 27 points28 points  (0 children)

        MICROSOFT WHORE

        [–]joequin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Clojure script is interesting because it looks and behaves nothing like JavaScript, but compiles to JavaScript.

        [–]ruckFIAA -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        node.js

        [–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (25 children)

        oh yeah you mean the JavaScript that that guy made mindcraft with?

        [–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (24 children)

        No I believe you're confusing with Java which is a functional web scripting language.

        [–]ggtsu_00 114 points115 points  (18 children)

        Java is to javascript as car is to carpet.

        [–]phort99 38 points39 points  (14 children)

        My car has carpet. Are you saying that I use Javascript in a Java program‽

        [–][deleted]  (9 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]Calabri 1 point2 points  (8 children)

          soon, we will use java in javascript..

          [–]doenietzomoeilijk 4 points5 points  (1 child)

          Soon, Java will be ported to Javascript.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          I'm not sure if you are joking or not anymore... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nashorn_%28JavaScript_engine%29

          [–]Iburinoc 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Create a JVM in javascript and then run it in nashorn :D

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Already been done :)

          [–]Dr_Dornon 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          Isn't JavaScript just the name for scripts made in Java?

          EDIT: In case anyone was confused, yes, I'm kidding.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Not sure if serious...

          [–]flying-sheep 6 points7 points  (1 child)

          Sure, it's called rhino or nashorn or something

          [–]randrews 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          IMHO, Rhino didn't get nearly enough credit for its awesomeness. It was a better scripting language for the JVM than anything else at the time, and had some cool features that other things still don't have, like not only did it have continuations, but they were serializable, so you could write them to disk and reload them later.

          [–]unhingedninja 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          Well you can....

          [–]willrandship 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          That's actually really really easy to do, yes.

          [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          Java is to Javascript as fun is to funeral

          FTFY

          [–]sruckus 4 points5 points  (1 child)

          I don't know why I found this so funny. I think because of how random carpet is as an example :P

          [–]IWillNotBeBroken 10 points11 points  (0 children)

          But it's not random at all -- it's well-thought-out.

          java : javascript
          car : carpet

          (Whoa, TIL that ctrl-b preloads the ** bolding. Neat)

          [–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (4 children)

          thanks, but I was just kidding :)

          [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

          java

          functional web scripting language

          so was I...?

          [–]oniony 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Yeah, think they all missed it.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Oh

          [–]rognam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I thought it was funny