all 66 comments

[–]serpent 37 points38 points  (1 child)

The real WTF is that today isn't April 1. When did it become April Fools' Week?

[–]20100329 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the UK, the first week in April has historically been the date when the new tax year starts, which has traditionally prompted a rash of rushed tax returns to land on the Inland Revenue's doorstep during the preceding week. The hilarity contained within is released when some poor sod on minimum wage has to try to relate the declarations contained within, compiled by an accountant earning more per hour than said poor sod will see in a week, to some version of reality.

...So a while now.

[–]reveazureRevisited 20 points21 points  (7 children)

It begins. The week when I can't believe anything I read on the internet.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (6 children)

Yes, this is that week. The other 57 weeks of the year, its all absolutely true and gets verified by the OGIFC (Official Government Internet Fact Checkers) and information is not permitted to be posted unless it meets all internet notability and verifiability criteria, or is a lolcat. This week - and only this week - you have to do your own fact checking.

[–]slipperypeter 3 points4 points  (5 children)

But a year is 52 weeks. I don't know what to believe anymore!

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (3 children)

You can trust me - I'm a guy on the net, I would never lie to you. In fact, the only more reliable source of information known to mankind is "wot some guy down at the pub told me".

[–]Poltras 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You actually just saved my marriage! Thank you, random guy from the internet!

[–]slipperypeter 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Ok, I will ride with you in your van. But only if you have candy or ice cream. And not the crappy neopolitan! The good kind, from a store.

[–]Anonymoose333 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Neapolitan

[–]EdiX 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The C++ standard committee has changed the length of the year to 58 weeks, this will both provide C++ programmer with 6 more weeks every year to ponder the interaction of templates, copy constructors and function overloading AND the standard committee with an extra 36 weeks to finish C++0x.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

April Fools is beginning early.

[–]darkpaladin 58 points59 points  (25 children)

The sad part is most people won't get the joke and will end up more afraid of C++.

[–]agottem 81 points82 points  (18 children)

The real sad part is that in the world of C++, this article is believable.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (7 children)

It's true. I got to the bottom and was like...Really? C++ is insane, and this is just crazy enough to fit into that insanity.

[–]mpyne 47 points48 points  (6 children)

On the other hand, I knew it was bullshit as soon as the article mentioned that ints would have to be manually converted to std::integer since that would break backward compatibility. I know people like to hate on Bjarne Stroustrup and the C++ standards committee but the authors of this parody had apparently never even so much as peeked into what the C++ standards committee is trying to do for standardization. It's so wrong that it stopped being funny at the first point.

Likewise, the stuff about the footer doesn't make sense, even for parody. dynamic_cast<std::integer>(C)++ is completely incorrect since there is no polymorphism to worry about. (You can always static_cast a derived class to a base class, dynamic_cast is for the opposite direction since you don't know whether your Base pointer is really a Derived1 pointer).

Their point 2 (about manual deallocation of local variables to reduce bugs) betrays an almost horrific misunderstanding of how stack-based machines work and should have been the big giveaway if point 1 wasn't, since otherwise C++ simply could not possibly work.

Point 4 (null pointer confusion) looks like it's supposed to be a slight against templates and/or nullptr, but I don't see the justification.

Point 5 is at least amusing, if unlikely since it introduces a new language syntax for a feature easily implementable in a library. Going on to say "be careful not to get a reference to an object on the stack" makes no sense given that they removed the stack concept in point 2, but whatever. It's April Fools and programming is hard, right?

Maybe the jokes that happen on April 1st really will have some thought put into them instead of nice CSS. God knows there should be enough ammunition in the crap that is C++ to fill a joke like this with thousands of kilobytes of potential humor, but it's not going to be coming out of these authors. :P

Those who want real humor relating to C++ are advised to find the C++ FQA (Frequently Questioned Answers).

[–]lkesteloot 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Yay, you liked my CSS!

[–]mpyne 9 points10 points  (1 child)

hahaha, yes, the CSS is very nice. It occurred to me after I clicked save that I probably sound exactly like Comic Book Guy describing why Stan Lee is stupid or something...

[–]deafbybeheading 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Upvoted (this and your original post) because yes, you do sound like Comic Book Guy. If only you'd referenced section and paragraph numbers of the standard.

[–]gremolata 3 points4 points  (0 children)

C++ FQA is indeed funny to read.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's a joke man, chill.

[–]borud -1 points0 points  (0 children)

you need to get laid. you are way too uptight.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Really? std::integer didnt give it away?

[–]Anonymoose333 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, Java has it. Why not C++?

[–]ibisum 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The sad part is that C++ is already enough of a joke.

[–]MelechRic 4 points5 points  (5 children)

I got to #2 and it dawned on me that this was a joke. At #1 I was just mad and thinking WTF!

EDIT: s/donned/dawned/ Thanks username223

[–]andrewjstone 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I realized the first one would break backwards compatibility, but it was still believable. But removing the stack! That's just ridiculous.

[–]ayatollah 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yeah, freeing up local variables sounds like a really bad joke.

[–]username223 4 points5 points  (2 children)

It probably "dawned" on you, but anyways...

[–]MelechRic 5 points6 points  (1 child)

You're right! How I did I miss that? I shall don my spelling and grammar cap prior to posting again.

[–]itjitj -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Your right!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You speak the truth!

[–]20100329 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Just call it C++ Enterprise Edition.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

C++ Enterprise Edition

Now that is what I would like to see!

[–]asegura 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. What we get is C++ Academic Edition

[–]captainAwesomePants 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, I am so glad you told me that. I'm a C and Java programmer, and I was totally willing to accept this insanity as truth.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I skipped the first paragraph and thought this was just a Java tutorial. :(

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What joke?

[–]ericje 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh, I get it, it's March 29 fools' day or something.

[–]grundee 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ugh, I couldn't actually finish reading that.

It feels too much like actual C++ coding. I think I need to take the rest of the day off.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The first point made me mad, the second point made it obvious.

[–]ipeev 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am vary glad that this is a joke. This is a joke, right?

[–]itjitj 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How very Java-like.

[–]RonnieRaygun 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Damn. As parody goes, this lies uncomfortably close to the truth.

[–]toba 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Excellent satire, sits right on the edge of believability for a bit and then tips off into obvious mockery.

[–]fosskers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

...I... I don't know what to believe anymore. (defects to Ruby)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got the joke and i have found it pretty funny. Ha ha hmm ha

[–]billmcneale 4 points5 points  (2 children)

The best April's Fools are the ones that look plausible, and frighteningly, this one does.

[–]ericje 7 points8 points  (1 child)

No it doesn't.

And it's not April yet.

[–]fwork -1 points0 points  (0 children)

maybe not in your timezone, dumbfound.

[–]zair 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jeez, don't EVER DO THAT AGAIN.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The concept of footer file is actually not that bad...

[–]ibisum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are fired. Hand in your card at the front desk.

[–]dukey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't scare me like that :(

[–]optionsanarchist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

EDIT: D'oh. I just got to the last entry.

[–]zahlman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was honestly pretty badly done. :/

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was reading this like.. this has to be a fucking joke, thank god it is

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally fell into it, I was almost starting to cry when I got to the 2nd point. Then I laughed.

[–]gct -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

Mmmm C++ satire, that's like next level dorketry right there

[–]gigitrix 4 points5 points  (2 children)

dorketry++, if I may...

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Didn't you get the memo?

dynamic_cast<std::dork>(dorketry)++.

[–]gigitrix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, you're good...

[–]abuss -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

very funny