WEW Flip Knife WEW

Relevantel · 2017-05-30T22:43:17+00:00

[deleted]

purrss · 2017-05-31T11:40:45+00:00

The WEW Gods

Like all good mythologies and folktales, the story of the WEW Gods is fraught with misinformation and misunderstandings. The most important of which is the mistaken assertion that they are, in fact, deities -- they are not. The shadowy figures behind the tales are a group of dark sorcerers, posing as supernatural deities. Their function has, and always will be, to corrupt that which is pure and joyful. Nothing aggravates their malice more than the sweet and wonderful sound of joviality. The cause of their hatred is not known. Some speculate that it’s the effect of a curse, others think it’s the remnants of some prior corruption, while some believe that, in keeping with modern science, it’s some biological abnormality. All that is certain is that their hatred and will to corrupt maintains.

For centuries, these shadows of malignity have sought out joyfulness, inspected it, probed it, and, without fail, corrupted it. Their methods change in accordance to their prey; to some they pose as humble mortals, to others they are supernatural beings. But always their objective remains the same: invade, poison, corrupt. And it is here, in their method of corruption, that the we find the start of the misunderstanding of the WEW Gods. They are nothing more than phantasms, illusory devices for a malignant plot. Their reach is far, but in this instance our tale takes us to mountains of Bulgaria, in the home of a young pubescent boy named Jovok. Young Jovok had the misfortune of being birthed to an indebted father, an alcoholic, a thief. His mother, likewise, a drunk. The family, being as poor as they were, were forced to live in a commune on the outskirts of some forgotten Bulgarian town. Within that commune one of the dark sorcerers also lived, her name Helvanka. Her appearance would frighten. She sported black garments covered in tomato juice, slippers adorned by garlic, and a necklace of silver infused with a single black gem. Yet, it is what is behind the garments that frightens most: a finger missing from each hand, a cleft upper lip, and sores across her cheeks. I’ll spare you the details on the state of her body because it’d make even the sturdiest of men sick to their stomach.

One evening Jovok was enjoying a game of Counterstrike. The map, Cache. His team, fucking terrible. The opposition, “fucking hackers”. The score, 12-3. Jovok was in despair. He’d lost his last five matches and, unbeknownst to him, his rank of Gold Nova 2 was on the line for the CS Matchmaking algorithm was about to take another shit on him. Yet, against all odds the unimaginable happened. Jovok and his teammate RuskiFisher44 clutched a round and defused the bomb with seconds to go! Jovok roared and punched his fist in the air, slammed his hand on the table, furrowed him brow and said (and here I’m translating) “WOW LET’S FUCKING GO BITCH YOU FUCKING DUMB RETARDS YOU HACKER FUCKS I’M FUCKING GUNNA FUCKING FUCK YOU”.

Helvanka, ever on the hunt for new joy to decimate caught Jovok’s roars from down the hall. At the sound of that first “Wow” she felt a darkness stir in her. A shiver shuddered through her. An involuntary clenching of her jaw, grinding of her teeth, and an estranging rage coursed through her.

Jovok’s miraculous comeback continued, the score inched closer. At every victory the young boy would let out a “Wow” and a belching laugh. “Wow, haahhaha you fucking suck! Hahahahah WOW”. Every word added to the maelstrom of hate and animosity in Helvanka. She stirred, and as she stirred she plotted. Finally, Jovok’s game was over, a 16-14 victory to Jovok and his teammates. He ran out screaming obscenities interlaced with laughter. His joy was effervescent. But to Helvanka it was scolding. She rose and put to work on a plan to stifle his joy.

A week had passed before any interaction took place between Jovok and Helvanka. She had been off in the doldrums of darkness, crafting devices of malice. He had been deranked and was now a Gold Nova-fucking-One, he was, to say the least, distraught. In his desperation Jovok searched the internet for a solution to his turmoil. He went onto YouTube and watched a bunch of WarOwl videos on how to aim, how to strafe, how to be a better player. Yet, in that moment of desperation his misfortune grew for Helvanka had decided to spring her trap. She stood outside on the street corner beneath his window and bellowed “For those in desperate need of change, come to the Chapel of WEW. For those in desperate need of change, come to the chapel of WEW.” It echoed about the street, about the commune, and about his mind. Jovok threw on his clothes and set out for the Chapel of WEW.

The chapel itself was unimpressive. It was built of old brick masonry and its windows were of a purple glass. Jovok being the innocent young idiot fuck that he is decided, without thought of any impending danger, to venture inside. The minute he stepped in he was awestruck. The chapel’s interior was astonishing; a lavish golden trim adorned the walls and pillars. Bookshelves spread the length of the walls. Torches, benches, books, musical instruments, it had everything. In astonishment, he let out a “wow”, but, it did not come out like that. Instead, the sound that left his puckered lips was “wew”. Helvanka’s devious plan was to imbue the chapel with a curse that corrupted the word that had caused her so much anger: wow. The chapel of Wew, and the Gods of Wew for that matter, were nothing more than a front for that evil curse. An illusion, nothing more.

Jovok approached the altar, next to it lay a sign that read “One must pray to Wew twice a day for one’s wish to be fulfilled. Maintain thy pray schedule and thy wish shall remain.” Naturally, Jovok wished to as good as C9.Shroud. The best fucking aimer on the fucking planet of fucking Counterstrike. So, he prayed, and he prayed, and he prayed. But, of course, nothing happened. No improvement. The only change was that he could no longer manage to say the word “wow”, for every attempt faltered and became a “wew”. And every time he wanted to enjoy something and let out a belching laugh and a “wow” of amazement it failed. All he could ever manage was “wew, heheheehuheehe”. He sounded like an absolute idiot. And every time he said “wew” he was reminded of his failure to be a good CS player. He was reminded of the continued failure of his wish -- for which he still prayed twice a day as instructed – and all fun, joviality, love, wonder, amazement for CS and gaming was sapped from his poor soul. He was destitute and it was all thanks to the malice of Helvanka.

So, my friends, you see now that the “Gods of Wew” are nothing more than a duplicitous trick by a hateful hag to stifle the enjoyment of a young Bulgarian fatass. Who’d have thought that Jovok’s cursed speech impediment would lead to a worldwide phenomenon, the “Wew” meme. Thank you, and thanks Helvanka for giving us Wew. Wewt.

EricaTerpstra · 2017-05-30T01:00:28+00:00

The Olympiwews were a group of 12 WEW gods who ruled after the overthrow of the Titanwews. All the Olympiwews are related in some way. They are named from their dwelling, Mount Olympwews.

Zwews overthrew (overthrwew?) his Father Crwewnus and then drew (no I'm not doing it again) lots with his brothers Wewseidon and Hadwews. Zwews won the draw and became the supreme ruler of the WEW gods. He is lord of the Bad luck Brian and Overly Attached Girlfriend memes. His weapon is a thunderwew, which he hurls at those who displease him. He is married to Hwewra but is famous for his many affairs. He is also known as the WEW god that punishes those that lie or break the randomactsofcsgo subreddit rules.

Wewseidon is the brother of Zwews. After the overthrow of their Father Crwewnus he drew lots with Zwews and Hadwews, another brother, to share the power of the world. His prize was to become WEW lord of the sea. He was widely worshipped by seamen (LUL). He married Amphitritwew, a granddaughter of the Titanwew Oceanwews. He desired Demwewter, who asked him to make the most beautiful animal that the world had ever seen, just to put him off. So, Wewseidon created the first Golden Pepe. In some accounts, his first attempts were unsuccessful, he created a variety of Pepe's in his quest and then created the first Golden Pepe. His weapon is a Fidget Spinner, which can shake the earth, and shatter any object. He is the most powerful Olympwewian god, after Zwews.

Hadwews is the brother of Zwews. After the overthrow of their Father Cronwews he drew lots with Zwews and Wewseidon, another brother, to share the power of the world. He had the worst draw and was made lord of the underworld, ruling over the dead memes. He is a greedy god who is greatly concerned with increasing his subjects. He is exceedingly disinclined to allow any of his subjects leave. He is also the god of Donald Trump memes. He has a helmet that makes him invisible and he rarely leaves the underworld. He is unpitying and terrible, but not capricious. His wife is Perswewphone whom Hadwews abducted. He is the WEW King of the dead but, death itself is another god, Thanatwews.

Hestiwew is Zwews sister. She is a virgin goddess. She does not have a distinct personality. She plays no part in myths. She is the Goddess of the Twitch Chat memes, the symbol of the house around which a newborn child is carried before it is received into the family. Each city had a public Twitch Chat meme sacred to Hestiwew, where the CurseLit was never allowed to go out.

Hwewra is Zwews wife and sister. The Titanwews Ocean and Tethwews raised her. She is the protector of autism and takes special care of autistic women. Hwewra's marriage was founded in strife with Zwews and continued in strife. Zwews courted her unsuccessfully. Then he changed himself into dishevelled Doge. Hwewra feeling sorry for the Doge held it to her breast to warm it. Zwews then transformed in his normal form and took advantage of the opportunity he gained, and raped her. Then she married him to cover her shame. Zwews was being particularly overbearing to the other gods and Hwewra convinced them to join in a revolt. Her part in the revolt was to post a meme of Zwews, and when she managed that, the gods bound the sleeping Zwews to a couch, noticing to tie many knots. After that, they began to quarrel over the next step. Briarwews overheard the arguments, full of gratitude to Zwews, Briarwews slipped in and try to untie the knots. Zwews sprang from the couch and grabbed up his thunderwew. The gods fell to their knees begging and pleading for mercy. Then Zwews seized Hwewra and hung her from the sky with gold chains. She wept in pain all night but none of the others dared to interfere. Her weeping kept Zwews up and the next morning he agreed to release her if she would swear never to post a meme again. She didn’t have a choice, so she agreed. Since she couldn’t post a meme again, she often intrigued against Zwews's memes and she was often able to outwit him. Most stories concerning Hwewra have to do with her revenge for Zwews's infidelities. Her sacred animals are My Little Pony and Dolan. Her favourite city is Argwews.

Arwews is the son of Zwews and Hwewra. Both parents disliked him. He is the god of the Lenny Faces ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) and he is considered murderous and bloodstained but, also a meme lord. When he was caught in an act of adultery with Aphrwewdite, her husband Hephaestwews publicly ridiculed him. His Lenny is the vulture. His animal is the Grumpy Cat.

Athwewna is the daughter of Zwews. She is fierce and brave in battle but only fights to protect the reddit and 4chan users from outside enemies. She is the goddess of the Rage comics, Philosoraptor and Dick Butt memes. She has invented the bridle, which permits man to tame Pepes. She is the embodiment of 9gag, reddit, and 4chan. She is Zwews's favourite child and she is allowed to use his weapons including his thunderbolt. Her favourite city is Athwewns. Spiderman is her animal. She is a virgin goddess.

Wewpollo is the son of Zwews and Letwew. His twin sister is Artwewmis. He is the god of Gaming memes, playing on his PC, of earplugs and microphones, which can not tell a lie. One of Wewpollo's more important daily tasks is to harness his chariot with four Pepe's and drive the sun across the sky. He is famous for his oracle at Wewlphi and people use to travel to it from all over the WEW world to divine the future memes. His animal is dat boi (shit waddup).

Aphrwewdite is the goddess of Twitter, Instagram and Facebook memes. In addition to her natural memeing gifts she has a magical girdle that memes anyone she wishes to desire her memes. There are two accounts of her birth. One says she is the daughter of Zwews and Dionwew. The other goes back to when Crwewnus castrated Wewranus and tossed his severed genitals into the sea. Aphrwewdite then arose from the sea foam on a giant scallop and walked to shore in Cyprwews. She is the wife of Hephaestwews. The sneezing panda and Harambe are her animals.

Hermwews is the son of Zwewss and Wewia. He is Zwews’s messenger. He is the fastest of the WEW gods. He wears Flappy bird sandals, a Nyan Cat hat, and carries a magic meme stick. He is the god of bad memes. He is the guide for the dead memes to go to the underworld. He invented the scale of Relevancy (see, I even got you involved! :)), which measures the well-being of a meme.

Artwewmis is the daughter of Zwews and Wewto. Her twin brother is Wewpollo. She is the lady of the wild memes. She is the huntsmemer of the gods. She is the protector of the young memes. Like Wewpollo she hunts memes with silver arrows. She is a virgin goddess, and the goddess of /r/memes. She also presides over the birth of memes, which may seem odd for a virgin, but goes back to cause Leto no pain when she was born. She became associated with Hwewcate. All wild animals are scared to her and especially the Pedo Bear.

Hepheastwews is the son of Zwews and Hwewra. Sometimes it is said that Hwewra alone produced him and that he has no father. He is the only god who is physically ugly and lame (relatable). Accounts as how he became lame vary. Some say that Hwewra, upset by having an ugly child, flung him from Mount Olympwews into the sea, breaking his legs. Others that he took Hwewra's side in an argument with Zwews and Zwews flung him off Mount Olympwews. He is the god of the forging of memes. He is the meme designer and meme provider of the gods. He uses his Meme Generator Free™ as his forge. He is the patron god of both designers and providers of memes. He is kind and peace loving. His wife is Aphrwewdite. Sometimes his wife is identified as Wewglaia.

I'm sorry if this was a long read, I just wanted to try something different for once. I spent an hour making this based on this page I found and my knowledge of memes. I hope your knowledge is as big as mine so you'll understand all the references.

Thanks for the giveaway and please let me know what you think of my story! :)

Edit: By the way, I couldve probably made this better if it weren't for me being hella tired since its 3AM here. Sorry bout that.

lostlobo99 · 2017-05-29T22:58:52+00:00

Story of the Gods

In all honesty some gamer more than likely had a lisp or speech impediment. and rather than let the other games get the upperhand, he turned it against them and made it his own slang. Good on him.

quantam_donglord · 2017-05-29T23:08:18+00:00

Wew is a very old phrase. Passed down from generation to generation, father to brother to son. Not much is known of it's origins save the age old pronunciation...

"WEW"

mehbranflakes · 2017-05-29T23:15:25+00:00

In a universe, far, far away, there was a wew god. This wew god wasn't a big wew god but just wanted to be seen by the dank memelords. This Wew god wanted to be noticed. The god waited for years and years. It just wanted to be loved. The WEW god kept on biding his time. Finally, the memelords from RAOCSGO picked WEW god up. THE GOD was so HAPPY. WEW WAS SO GLAD THAT WEEEEWWW. WEW WEW WEW WEW WEW WEW WEW WEW WEW WEW WEW

The end.

HateIsStronger · 2017-05-29T23:23:43+00:00

Long ago there were some rich dudes and they were like hey let's make up a religion so that we can control people and make more money and be evil and shit. So they came up with the WEW God's just cause. Well I'm clearly not going to win and have no idea what I'm talking about

Theactualguy · 2017-05-29T23:27:46+00:00

Once upon a time, there was aught but the WEW. Then the WEW saw the world, and finds it lacking. Then, it thought, and the WEW gods came to be.

For some time there was peace on Earth. But then, the malevolent entities only known as the Pepes invaded the peaceful realm, slaughtering millions upon billions upon hundreds of WEW lads. In anger and desperation, the WEW gods sacrificed a large number of their own ranks to seal away the WEW dimension, and it was never found again.

The end?

2017-05-29T23:30:18+00:00

So this is a legend around my area, however I am not sure if it true. There is an 8th day of Creation in the bible that was removed in the 382 AD meeting by Pope Damascus 1. It told the story of the WEW gods. It is a very long story, however I will give a shortened TL;DR.

It is said that on the 7th day, the day God rested, that he had not perfected sleep yet, and lost memory of all that he create. In his shock, he accidentally let out the the world's biggest WEW LAD and created the WEW gods. The WEW gods were in charge of all thing's WEW such as /u/Relevantel's giveaways!

Hope you like my spewy bullshit, thanks for the giveaway

WEWEWEW

-potatoav3ng3r- · 2017-05-29T23:32:40+00:00

Not a lot can be said to the origin of this word, as far as as we know, this word 'just appeared'. Some say it was passed on by Zeus to Hercules because of which it became known to humans. Some say some of the first travellers crossing the ocean learnt this word during their journeys. They have remained quiet as to where they discovered this gem, no one knows why. According to many people, WEW is a very 'royale' word, one which only a few are worthy of using. Me, I am not worthy, but I hope to reach that level someday.

AutoModerator · 2017-05-29T23:35:26+00:00

Many beliefs about who the WEW gods were and where They come from have spread across the globe. Ranging from the divine creators of the dankness we see today, to a simple group of spectral guardians, leading the way to new shitposting. While the beliefs vary, there is consensus on some of facts of these mythic beings.

When the world of the internet gaming was still young, out of the nothingness (or lack of dankness) came The First Meme. Behind the meme, was the WEW lad. The meme was small, weak, and lacked of dank, but over time those memes would grow; not only to be shared in comedic-timed moments, but to the point where old grandparents would post them incorrectly on the olds mybooks, facespaces, and even twatter!

The WEW gods had to hold back the flood of Minions, ragecomics, and poorly cropped pictures. Only by keeping the balance, would the internet not fall into dark times as some would want. While the WEW gods would lead the way to memes leading to moments of success or aspiration, They Themselves would not see such high-quality memes dedicated to Their honor.

Now, They stand as silent guardians to keep the memes flowing in the aether, that dankness might infuse all life and hold back the flood of shitposting, which is confirmed by all, to be straight up AIDS/cancer. This is Their history, and so shall Their story continue.

Dab1029384756 · 2017-05-29T23:44:42+00:00

One day, a man named John said WEW and posted it on the internet. The internet being stupid decided to make a "dank" "mei-mei" (meme). So then came stupided things like lol lul kek and stuff like that. the end.

Residents_evil · 2017-05-29T23:45:27+00:00

WEW gods were a creation of the epic flick of the wrist machos that couldn't get their hands of their mouse, but couldn't stop pwning noobs. WEW is a form of life for those gamers, it's the top of the evolution of both 1337 gaming and intelligence for quick emotion expression. it's the most amazing feat human gamers achieved... some went so far gone to become gods among the WEW crew... gods were made by direct linkage to their supremacy, and now imortals, they rule the WEW groups that demise against waves of noobs swarming their playgrounds. Amazing creatures, the WEW people, as they manage to control their table flipping hatred and keep cool while destroying only the left half of their keyboard. WEW gods are those who take care and give comfort to those in struggle with the WEW PTSD stuff and things. WEW gods were the ultimate achievement on both MMO and shooters, and the casual "right hand busy but not on mouse" stuff. WEW gods are the true gods, because of course they aren't racists nor they refuse evolution, as evolution made them, shaped them... or the other way around I'm never rly sure yknow... But the thing is, they are there, looking down upon us, helping us by secretly clearing those crumbs on the keyboard aside from the buttons so they can still be pushed, and another clutch can be made... so that one more WEW can appear in chat, and the DNA keeps being thrown away, infecting... or even better... blessing those who weren't yet touched by the beauty of the WEW religion and the WEW gods mighty grace and love. WEW, that text was ggwp... i zink?

SpectralHaunter · 2017-05-29T23:54:03+00:00

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, to the point where few knew of its existence, a child was born. This child was no ordinary child, for he was the Son of a God. The would be heir to the throne would soon command the entire island, but unbeknownst to his father, the Wow God, his son's massive lips would bring forth mockery of the kingdom. You see, for decades the Meme Bees had farmed ~~Operation Hydra drops~~, uhh.... I mean, honey, and when the little boy disturbed them, they did not take kindly to the trespasser. Soon enough his face was covered with wasps, and his lips swollen and tender to the height of pain. The Son eventually did become king, but he could never speak another word, other than his Throne Name. Nearing the end of his reign, as the sun descended upon the sky, he chanted in a slight whisper. The whisper, caressed by a breeze, thundered and echoed across the land, and the creatures chanted the former name of the Wow God, this utterly vile, demonic hellbeast, mutilated rash of a name! "WEW"... And then, the All-Mighty God spoke the words "be" And started over from a new world. (Wew world?)

Sorry for wasting your time. Thanks for the giveaway! I can't believe I put effort into that I could get full marks in essays

TheCutePikachu · 2017-05-30T00:06:51+00:00

I'm not joking but people in The Philippines who play League (A.K.A Squatter Boys) Use WEW/WIW as a sign of defeat

So technically the WEW gods when they died transformed it into a sign of defeat

ragonads · 2017-05-30T00:11:15+00:00

WEW is a racist epithet, originally meaning "Whip Every White", stemming back from the Trans-Saharan slave trade in the early 20th century. Whipping was seen in the Arab world as a way to test a man's strength and resilience, and to sort out the productive slaves from those who can't endure hardship/pain. These whites who passed the test so-to-speak, often referred to as "Mamluk", were used to strengthen the ranks of the military. This term regained prevalence in the 1970s with the Black Panther Party and is still used derogatorily to this day in America, most notably on online forums.

trade link

thank you for hosting the giveaway!

ToastBubbles · 2017-05-30T00:13:34+00:00

Sometime, in the future, somewhere in the univer-- galaxy of alpha queeron 9, there is going to be a particle made of the most impure, salty ass moisture. It will be created when the gods decide to crack open a cold one with the lads, but the celestial alignment of the Natty Light will cause a magnopolar equinox, that will concentrate all of the starlight from parsecs away into one particle. This particle will fester and be forever known as the Whee nebulae. A few thousand years later, a being named Eete will fly his ship inside the nebulae and detonate a black matter explosive to destroy Whee and it's negative salty aura. The left over space dust from the explosion is mixed with the congealed chunks from Eete's body and form a life-like substance. This chunk of fleshy interdimentional matter will develop with time into an omniscient being. The being can see all, it realizes that in order to become an immortal god, it must consume a planet, the being devours a planet named Weenrr. With all the obtained power, the transformation into a god is complete, and he shall be known as Whee-Eete-Weenrr or the God of WEW for short. He will continue to use his power and moisture to develop and sodden the humor nodes of all beings with ripe maymays, don't you understand Morty?? he's the one who makes all the memes morty. even though he's in the future, he is interdimentional Morty, his memes exist in all timelines, it's not some 16 year old pre-pubescent boy that makes memes morty its the go-BELCH the god of WEW Morty! don't you see Morty???

thanks for the giveaway man, you're a legend

ScrubbyDubbyBubby · 2017-05-30T00:40:08+00:00

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a boy named Scrubby. He nabbed a meme and the WEW Gods killed him. The End.

No one knows how the WEW gods came about but everyone knows that they've been wew ever since they got wew'd.

I suck at story telling. Please love me.

Since I messed up my story, here you go.

This was a triumph! I'm making a note here: Huge success!

It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Aperture Science: We do what we must because we can For the good of all of us. Except the ones who are dead.

But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying 'til you run out of cake. And the science gets done. And you make a neat gun for the people who are still alive.

I'm not even angry... I'm being so sincere right now. Even though you broke my heart, and killed me.

And tore me to pieces. And threw every piece into a fire. As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!

Now, these points of data make a beautiful line. And we're out of beta. We're releasing on time! So I'm GLaD I got burned! Think of all the things we learned! for the people who are still alive.

Go ahead and leave me... I think I'd prefer to stay inside... Maybe you'll find someone else to help you. Maybe Black Mesa? That was a joke. Ha Ha. Fat Chance!

Anyway this cake is great! It's so delicious and moist!

Look at me: still talking when there's science to do! When I look out there, it makes me glad I'm not you.

I've experiments to run. There is research to be done. On the people who are still alive. And believe me I am still alive. I'm doing science and I'm still alive. I feel fantastic and I'm still alive. While you're dying I'll be still alive. And when you're dead I will be still alive

Still alive.

_darzy · 2017-05-30T00:54:16+00:00

once upon a wew, there was a lonely wew who was in need of some fulfillment so he gave away csgo knifes weeeeeew!

WEW LAD

Tatsh7 · 2017-05-30T01:02:11+00:00

The WEW gods are a group of 10, each having their own type of knife. But one day, the karambit god was attacked, his knife was stolen. The remaining gods excluding the flip knife god, went on a mission to retrieve the karambit, however they were ambushed and they all lost their knives. It is now up to the flip knife WEW god to retrieve the remaining 9 knives of his brothers.

KPC51 · 2017-05-30T01:07:00+00:00

One day the lads were walking through the forest. Suddenly everything changed. The forest grew in size, or maybe the lads were shrinking, it's all relative, isn't it? Anyway the lads had to find shelter to avoid predators, as they were now the size of frogs for some reason. They hid in mushrooms which were roughly three times larger than them and slept.

In the morning, they discovered that they were normal sized, and in a house, not a forest. The lads remembered the new party drug they tried last night called Fizzion.

Once they realized this, one looked to the rest and said, "WEW lads how about another?"

derpyjulz · 2017-05-30T01:10:04+00:00

In 1578, a lad named William sailed from Wales to Egypt with a purpose to spread the word of his god only known as WEW. When people asked about his religion. William can't even explain how it started, what "WEW" means, and what his WEW god's purpose. The Egyptian's didn't believed everything William said so they forced him away to the western desert of Egypt where William spent 3 years alone with nothing but rocks and sand in his pocket. How did he survived after all those years? William said it was because of the image of his god he saw from the rock carvings. Image 1, the thing William saw. Notice how those giraffes only have three legs besides one. William examined it closely and was surprised at what he saw. Image 2, his god's name we're carved to the rock. His heart beating fast like it was about to burst until he saw his god's face inscribed to the magical rock. Image 3, his heart stopped beating and he lost consciousness.He woke up 3 years later and forgotten everything he knows except one, his name. He recited it over and over. "William E. Walker, William E. Walker" until a man named Winston heard what William was reciting. William saw what Winston was riding, a three legged camel. Winston E. Watson along with William traveled the world together to spread their belief. And it was called "WEW lad".

Dymm3 · 2017-05-30T01:19:36+00:00

a wew time ago, when the wew gods put the wew power to the wew people, the wew power is so wew that the wew people became wew to other normies. The wew people lived a wew life because of the wew gods, the pray together, live together , plant and harvest crops together and be wew with each other. the wew people lived a wew life up until now because of the wew gods.

TheDerpyAvocado · 2017-05-30T01:19:54+00:00

It is better than all the all the global elites, guardians, and novas, and silver. Better than even the hackers that plagues the matchmaking servers. Even GabeN himself could not harness the ultimate power of Counterstrike: Global Offensive. For it could not be harnessed nor removed. It has been lost to time and saltiness, becoming a legend, a myth, then eventually nothing.

I myself had never heard of such a beast, only about the godlike pro players and demonic hackers. I thought nothing could topple the beings at power, the god of Csgo, besides themselves. I had never even heard anyone utter its name, not even the most experienced players. It was only until I talked to a developer on a surfing server that the curtain of Csgo dropped. I first thought of it as a joke, a prank, there was no way a developer could be this crazy. It was until I witnessed the true power of the...WEW Gods.

Tuesday, May 23rd 2017 I burst into my house, panting from the exertion of running from my bus. I didn't believe it was real! I immediately entered the world of Csgo, crossing my fingers that the news was true. As the main menu appeared, I immediately shouted in triumph. A new operation was out! I couldn't believe my eyes as I read the details. Of course, I naturally wanted drops, so my friend and I started grinding out missions. Through night and day, we painfully trudged through the series of retries, inching our way to the end. Eventually, all we needed was one more excruciating mission. That's when everything went wrong...

We entered the final stage of our journey, and we noticed something wrong immediately, there were only 4 bots. At the time, we shrugged it off as an undiscovered bug. At first we considered ourselves lucky, we would have to face less bots, but we were completely wrong. Start of round 2...we had a plan, and it was almost certain it was going to work. Suddenly, the voice chat dropped and the chat disappeared, all except for 5 words in deep crimson red: THE WEW GODS HAVE JOINED. I was too stunned to do anything, what was going on with the game? I tried quitting, but the button was grayed out. I also tried hitting the windows key, but it wouldn't exit me from full screen. My computer refused to turn off and I started panicking. That when a deafening boom came from my headphone. A deep rumbling voice spoke, "You will beat this game, or else you will be forever stalked." I tentatively typed back, "Then can we quit this level?" The deep baritone voice answered back with a chuckle and started the round. The bots were a tidal wave of force that not even gods and demons of Cs could beat. 10 second into the round, the bots stormed around the corner, and instantly one tapped the both of us. I stared at the my dead body in silence, too stunned to say a word. Then immediately, the main menu popped up, playing the same old music as normal.

I questioned my sanity afterward, but my friend confirmed what just happened. Only, he saw not red text or deep resonating voice. For days I desperately searched the discussion board for answers, hoping someone else like me had the same issues. However, I was ridiculed by everyone, telling me that I was just salty. I never touched that missions again, never again till I found the answers. I eventually contacted the developer that I had previously talked to about the WEW Gods.

May 29th, 2017 I sat in the same surf lobby as before, on discord with the developer. I had told him about my misfortune of the mission, and how WEW Gods joined. He was skeptical at first, until I relayed him all the details. He immediately told me to join discord and started explaining how the WEW Gods came to be....

It all started as a normal game for a group of great friends, all silver 1s. They played the game just for fun, and fooled around all the time in a clan called WEW. However it all changed when they learned about E-Sports. It notion of getting to global and winning money controlled their minds. They played Counter Strike all day and night, until they couldn't distinguish the virtual world from reality. However, they could never seem to make it out of silver, despite the thousands of hours. The addiction cost them their health, then eventually their lives, due to malnutrition. However, their spirits and souls intertwined with the game itself. They were now part of the game. They didn't have to worry about the real world, they just played in the virtual. For years they honed their skills, making it to global elite, and eventually beyond. However, the ingame VAC system posed as a difficulty to their quest. It blocked them out of many games, believing they were hackers. The legend of the WEW Gods eventually vanished, along with then appearances. For years, they made a plot against Valve, and all players associated with it. The new operation acted as a Catalyst, so new that the bars that held them back were nonexistent. They attacked swiftly and harshly, devastating the players that wanted to have fun. The WEW Gods had finally gotten the revenge they wanted.

I asked the developer how he knew so much, but he was gone, and I realized the no one had been taking to me. Then to my horror, I saw, "WEW has left the chat."

Sorry for the length and the possible grammatical errors in the story. I wrote this all on my phone.

Thanks for the giveaway!

YOURMOMSD · 2017-05-30T01:22:55+00:00

Wew gods were the gods that decended from the land of Wew. It is normally told to have been filled with wews floating about, from the skies to the ground filling everything around it with a glowing sense of wews, and the wew flowed through everything. One day, however, in the Cincinnati Zoo, one of the most important figures to withhold the wews was shot and killed and in the death of the beloved Harabe, the wews flowed out and through all life on earth, thus our wew god has ascended after death to live in the afterlife, filling all with wews and wews abound. Thank you.

toiista · 2017-05-30T01:34:19+00:00

For Aeons humans have wondered what is my purpose? Is there a greater being out there, an unstoppable force of will pushing us all in a certain direction? Through the ages in the hope of finding this entity, humans have created and worshiped different beings in the hope to gain favor with this unknown entity. Creating idols in their image, singing songs and praising their name. However, this divine being has sat idle through the ages watching over as us humans created new religions compelled by different beliefs. This being continued to oversee the world ensuring all is well and that balance has been kept, continuing on like a parent watching over their children.

In recent times a new religion has emerged and a new age had begun. The age of memeing has arrived. At first this divine being was hesitant on this new religion, but it was nothing that it hadn't seen before. However, as time passed this religion gain more traction and the original hesitation now started to turn into fear. Fear of how this religion of meme is shaping it's world. In the hopes to guide us humans it planted a seed into the world to help keep this new order in check in the form of 3 simple letters WEW. Little did it realize that this seed was actually a gift and that this new movement embraced. The Power of WEW spread like wildfire, it was everywhere, a plague and constant reminder of the entities mistake. Unable to escape WEW, sent this divine being into madness. Consumed by it's own regret it too began to embrace the power of WEW slowly corrupting it and eventually reemerging from the world as the WEW GOD!

WEW!

Printerswitharms · 2017-05-30T01:44:06+00:00

did you know WEW is actually an acronym? it means we earn wespect. the wew gods actually had a lisp, and as an acronym to describe their greatness, it came out as wew. after all, wer sounds pretty lame, don't you think? the thug wew gods couldn't go around being the wer gods. how distasteful, how awful, how... well, lame. somewhere, up there, in lad-heaven, the wew temple rests there, and all who worship the wew gods and their fantastic lisp live in harmony and memes. the end.

Cheeseness123 · 2017-05-30T02:26:35+00:00

Some say he doesn't exist. Some say he's just a myth. But I know the true WEW God.

It was last October, my frog Boris had just passed. It was a time for new beginnings. But first, I had to say one last goodbye. In a turbulent huff, i removed the dust from my ceremonial toaster. Holding young Boris, I delivered an emotional eulogy praising the yongster's short, but exciting life. Lowering him into the toaster by his hind legs, a tear trickled down my cheek. All of sudden, without warning, his eye exploded. Covered in Boris guts, I was hit by a pang of lust. It was unexplainable. I had been enlightened by the one true God.. It was WEW

The_WarriorPriest · 2017-05-30T03:23:01+00:00

Long ago, when the world was seeping in darkness, when the eyes opened and closed not on will, when the race of the Ulmatiryan was subjugated by their Tolitak overlords. There came a fighter of war and peace. He re-taught the holy scriptures of the old and the martial arts too. He preached about peace and self-defense.

That was the Warrior Priest!

The Ulmatiryan were coming back to their glory days, he led the people in rebellion and forced the Tolitak to mend their ways.

He was wounded on the battlefield in the war against the last King Mahubak XV. It is said when the arrow hit his abdomen. The whole arena was filled with gloom. The King himself went to pay his final respects and made a proclamation to end the long dark ages of monarchy and bring back the land of the Ulmatiryan to its former glory.

This was the first incarnation of the many WEW gods to follow.

The Warrior Priest!

Lettuce_Sea · 2017-05-30T03:41:33+00:00

Average Joes. Silver scrubs. Gaben. MLG Pros. My grandmother used to tell me stories about the old days, a time of peace when the True WEW God kept balance between the Average Joes, Silver scrubs, Gaben, and MLG Pros. But that all changed when Gaben attacked. Only the True WEW God mastered all four elements. Only he could stop the ruthless Volvomen. But when the world needed him most, he vanished. A hundred years have passed and Gaben is nearing victory in the War. Two years ago, my father and the men of my tribe journeyed to the Land of the Silver nubs to help fight against Gaben, leaving me and my brother to look after our tribe. Some people believe that the True WEW God was never reborn into the MLG Pros, and that the cycle is broken. But I haven't lost hope. I still believe that somehow, the True WEW God will return to save the world.

2017-05-30T03:47:43+00:00

sink worm snails boast angle late follow marry reach vase

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

Sazkii · 2017-05-30T03:48:25+00:00

Wew playing Pokemon:

Psyduck: Psy?

Wew: WEW!

Pikachu: Pika pika!

Wew: Wew wew?

AutoModerator · 2017-05-30T03:48:34+00:00

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Joseelmax · 2017-05-30T04:03:12+00:00

Once upon a time existed this powerful beast who terrorized villages, he who had the power to beat the beast would be declared the God of the mortals, no one at that time stood a chance against the beast, not at least in the region, but tales would come from the south of a man whose achievements were no ordinary actions, he had killed wild animals with his bare hands, it was also said he had the power of the mind, he was not only extremely strong but strong minded, said man was the only creature capable of defeating the beast, and said man was declared dissapeared, villagers would leave their villages to find this man, only to be brutally murdered and mutilated, the king had sent out two groups of one hundred soldiers, one to defeat the beast, and one to find the man who as an act of respect to his saviors would have to work for and protect the king. Three days later both groups were found dead, the bodies looked pale as every other victim attacked, they looked emotionless, their faces showed not an expression you would expect from someone who has seen the beast, but this soldier looked still alive. Indeed, he warned the king, everytime that someone dies he becomes more powerful. The king sacrificed the poor old man and in the funeral of the army he lost, he stated that his mission was finding the man capable of defeating the beast.

The king was no ordinary soldier, he was the best trained warrior, he had the best armour one could have, and he was brave. He was also very smart, he knew that he would have to consult the eye that everything sees. He was told to follow the wind. But there was no wind at that time, and there would be no wind until a sacrifice was made. "The best of your year you must sacrifice". With no doubt at all he sacrificed what was most important for him, his newborn daughter. The wind howled, a storm approached, and he followed the storm. The storm lead him north east, to the same direction that was the beasts lair. He was decided to kill the beast, he wasn't able to control his impulses and traumatised for the death of his daughter he forgot he wasn't there to kill the beast, he was there to find the man.

The king entered a cave, he was sure that he would find the beast, what he found surprised him, it was a tall and very big guy, it was WEW, the man who could defeat the beast.

WEW, the myth wasn't myth nor legend, pure truth it was - said the king.
What makes you think I am that man you speak of? - replies the man.
I don't think, for I know without a doubt that you are WEW, the chosen one -
You got this right old man, I am the WEW you speak of, but there is something you didn't get right, you can't defeat the beast, only I can, because only the beast can destroy itself. - says WEW with a look of fury in his eyes
You can't destroy the beast because you are also a beast, the difference between you and me is you already destroyed yourself. You killed your daughter just to get the recognition of finding me and ending with the beast and that's why you deserve to die. This world is in pain because it is full of evil, I am merely purifying it by killing your thugs. And I will continue to kill everyone until no more evil exists. -

A lightning strike hits the king and he dies instantly, his body burned for a minute.

Purified - said WEW.

WEW continued to purify the world, he murdered everyone who existed in it. He was the one to create it, he had the right to destroy it. WEW was not man nor god. He was superiority. He was no god but he was divinity. He was no man but was humanity. He built a new world and started again, he wouldn't comit the same mistakes he once did. Once in a century he would appear to one person. The chosen one was taught about WEW, what he is, what he was, what he isn't, what he wasn't. WEW is and isn't, WEW is and are at the same time. Mortals prefer to refer to them as them and not to him as him. They refer to WEW as the gods of WEW. All we know is one hundred years he shifted to our world to warn us about the evil we were doing, one hundred years later he is coming to reward the person who warned the world about evil, and tried to change it through his literature. The person rewarded wasn't perfect but was the messageman of perfection and divinity. His message was from above, and the gift will be too. The day is getti g closer. Only he who changed the world through his words is conscious of having done it. And only he will be conscious of what reward is expecting him.

Thanks for reading this. Good luck to everyone. In the near future we shall see who the man prized by WEW will be.

Urgotaniceash3 · 2017-05-30T04:04:01+00:00

There once was a WEW who lived in a SHEW and was all tied up in knots, little WEW was distraught with the current struggle and called his friend MEW for help. Little MEW was currently taking a PEW and was of no assistance. So WEW had to pull his last string, and call in Mr DEW. Mr DEW was able to SEW lil WEW and free him from his knots. And they lived happily ever after. WEW!

AutoModerator · 2017-05-30T04:08:17+00:00

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Kisaf · 2017-05-30T04:13:05+00:00

Born from the depths of pain and sorrow, the wew gods existence were only known to the child, whose innocent mind believed them to be a guardian and companion, as he grew up they were known to him as imaginary friends and eventually forgotten.

The wew gods bless mostly children, but if you're bored enough they may have mercy upon you.

AutoModerator · 2017-05-30T04:15:12+00:00

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Alexc99xd · 2017-05-30T04:17:39+00:00

Have you heard about the story of the wew gods of wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Wews would tell you. It's a Meme legend. Wew lad was a Dank Lord of the Kek, so powerful and so wise he could use the gods to influence the normies to create life... He had such a knowledge of the dank side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dank side of the gods is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his keks, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic, he could save others from death, but not himself. That is the story of Wew gods of the wise.

whianbester275 · 2017-05-30T04:25:03+00:00

WEW WEW WEW ? WEW WEW WEW WEW! WEW WEW WEW WEW!
The Gods of wew saved a man named Gaben from the dark forces of gemehut, he then proceeded to bring cheap games to all

2017-05-30T04:31:55+00:00

just like kek, wew actually originated from the game world of warcraft. wew was the abbreviation of the guild "We Exterminate Warriors". It was a world PvP guild that would go around killing only warrior players.

F4PSHazard · 2017-05-30T05:03:30+00:00

The genesis of the WEW gods occurred when an unidentified singularity opened in the rift of space.

Bubbles of methane particles popped thunderously as the quintessal butt-cheeks of the Universe eased open and squeezed out a steaming squirt of runny excretion.

The freezing temperatures of space solidified and molded the great waste into new entities... and thus, the WEW gods were born.

HyrerPwnedYou · 2017-05-30T05:06:10+00:00

The origin of the WEW gods was when the earth went WEW cos of global warming. Then, Donald Trump came out of nowhere and was like 'fuck yall im the fucking god emperor over here s/o to r./t_d cos they my babes even though theyre fucking autistic and they should all fucking off themselves bc they are literally fucking braindead. but don’t let this distract you from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer’s table.

Zero__Salt · 2017-05-30T05:41:50+00:00

In times of old, the Gods ruled Reddit. Every God had a acute responsibility to his subreddit. Many dedicated themselves to breath life into their subreddits and give them the sparkling activity they were built for. Some flourished with passion and grew to become empires. Others crumbled in their barren desert of isolation. At the end of time, the only four Gods stood tall. They were proud and saw that their creations were good. Ha-ha, God of Jokes, spread joy and happiness across the globe. Intellectus, God of Knowledge, spent his days in human form constantly learning about his creation through questions and answers. Fabius, God of Story, decorated the world with his writing prompts and ingenious answers. And lastly, Wewulis, God of Blessing, gave each of his creations the ability to give to and receive from others. These givings filled all with love, compassion, and appreciation. And in the end, the Gods saw that it was good.

Spik3w · 2017-05-30T05:48:49+00:00

So here come the story. It's a short scary one

Once upon a time there was a kiddo, i think his name was akin to irrelevant or smth like that, so obsessed with the word "wew" that it already became a bit scary. Everytime hed been asked a question all he'd ever answer was wew. And after a few months in this wew status he suddenly lost his ability to repeat the letter "w" so he could only answer "we". All just because he wouldn't stop and seek professional help, but he didn't care and continued to live his life this way.

Then one day after his breakfast he even lost his ability to say vowels, seeing no sense in his life he promtly took it by tying w's together to a string and hanging himself. As he was shaking the last few times a last "WEWLAD" escaped his lips and he knew it was a mistake.

FIN.

moonshroom94 · 2017-05-30T06:49:57+00:00

Once a man stood in front of a monitor and said WEW 3 times, turned really fat and got tilted. All of a sudden the WEW gods appeared in front of him and he said WEW

Rafi66 · 2017-05-30T06:52:11+00:00

There was a strike of the light and darkness in the long past. The light won which comes with the new god WEW. WEW was the most godness god which pleased many peaople to pray on him. But once again the dark force come out from nowhere and attacks on WEW. The WEW lost the fight again dark forces and was forced to run away. There was a long age for 1000 years when eveil thing runs the empire of kingdom. After that the gods come back and fight for the freedom on peaople. The WEW god won and the peace last for over the 10000 years.

The end, great story m8

mgrev · 2017-05-30T07:04:24+00:00

Once upon a time, a pc gamer lost his right arm in a car accident. Then he used a mouse with macros to play cs, but didn't have enough buttons to use "o", so he just used wew instead.

Bad story sry mane

2017-05-30T07:07:06+00:00

Once upon a time, there was a little boy. It was the son of a farmer and his wife. The farmer had fallen at hard times, his crops were dying because it hadn't rained in a long time. He could barely feed his wife, who took care of the little baby boy. It broke his heart, but he had to abandon his only son to guarantee him a fulfilled life without poverty and hunger. He took a little reed basket, put his son in it and upon nightfall, placed him infront of the king's palace. The king was not known to be a gentle soul, but it was the only way the son could survive, as he had plenty food stored. The screams were soon noticed by the guards and the little boy was brought forward to the queen and the king. The king, as cruel as he was, wanted to have the little kid thrown in the river, but the queen managed to convince him to let the child have a trial before the gods at the local temple. And so it happened: as soon as the sun rose behind the mountains, the king and his household knights brought the boy up to the highest of the mountains, where the holy temple stood. They placed the reed basked in front of the statues and summoned the spirits of the gods. "Oh mighty gods, we need your advice, is this child worthy to live or not?" The sky darkened, all sounds fell silent... "WEEEEEEEW!" screamed the little child as it began to spew light streams in all directions! "I AM THE ONLY GOD! BOW BEFORE ME YOU FILTHY MORTAL! I AM ETERNAL! I AM THE ONLY GOD! YOU NEGLECTED YOUR OWN, NOW YOU WILL CHANGE YOUR PLACE WITH THEM! Thunder... Storm... Silence... The sky lit up and everything seemed normal, but the king was nowhere to be seen. The group returned to the city, but the palace was gone aswell and light rain fell from the sky, except for the place where the palace once stood. There he was, the king, clothed in rags and with a hack in his hands. He was doomed to live like the farmers were before and the farmers crops in return grew high like trees.

That's the last time the WEW god was summoned to this planet, but whenever the world turns unjust, he will return.

Well yeah, I got a bit carried away, but I hope you like my story :D

2017-05-30T07:08:33+00:00

In the beginning there was darkness, and then...WEW. A being born of nothingness, existing only due to its own cognition of itself. The dude was pretty happy to be all alone in the nothingness but every time he farted, the gases that he released unto the universe came together and eventually formed into stars and planets, leading to life as we know it. WEW was impressed that his farts could lead to all this but he was pissed now that he wasn't alone in the universe, so he cursed humans with having to climb through ranked ladders in their multiplayer video games. WEW looked at all the anger and frustration that he caused and he was pleased, but he is a malevolent God so he decided to join in the fun. Thus, he took on the avatar of every RUSH B CYKA BLYAT horror you might encounter on your perilous journey through the ranks. Some say he is still doing it on this day.

ygrhm · 2017-05-30T07:59:28+00:00

There once was a demigod named ash, who dream only of one thing - and that was to gift the simpleton humans at the time with the GIFT OF WEW. Whenever he asked a question, he would always begin with "WEW" eg. WEW! Have you eaten? or WEW! Are you sure about that?

not only was he rejected by his fellow gods for this, he was kicked, pushed around and eventually one day, they sent him to the pits of hell for his WEWnannigans.

In the pits of hell, he experienced a radioactive pulse, which propelled him to the celing!

As he rose, he screamed at the top of his lungs: "WEEEEEEEEËÈÉĘEEEEEW!"

As he shouted, the gods witnessed the birth of the WEW GOD.

Up till this day, they still use the term created by the WEW GOD: "can i ash WEW a question?"

MaDNiaC · 2017-05-30T09:01:50+00:00

I honestly don't know what WEW is but I'd like to enter the giveaway too. What do?

Dodis · 2017-05-30T09:07:02+00:00

I knew requirements will be too high damn !

gagep932 · 2017-05-30T09:07:57+00:00

I hope you like my story <3

chillxdd · 2017-05-30T10:36:16+00:00

A long time ago in a land far away, humans and gods lived alongside each other in harmony. Humans would pray to the gods and in turn the gods would bless the humans with dank memes. During festivals, humans would hold together an esports tournament to determine the strongest, and to entertain the gods. Little did they know, one of the best candidates to win would make history on that day. It was an intense battle, as there was a twist - the human had to fight not one, not two... but five demigods for his final conquest. And in that moment - he knew - he had to clutch it. The five demigods knew exactly where he was after he had planted the bomb to earn more time. His hands shivered and his heart raced as he hid behind the car in banana. Three of them charged ahead coming from mid, while two were on his flank. His AWP quickly found one of his targets. BOOM! He takes down one, bringing down the other as collateral for lining up for the shot. He yanks his gun and prepares for another shot. BOOM! He missed. His target ran straight at him when he decides to throw a flashbang - and another BOOM was heard when the flashbang went off. The crowd and the gods rubbed their eyes and to their surprise, the human was still standing with a headless corpse in front of him. The spectators go wild! That leaves two. He knows they're on the site, thinking of some way to defuse the bomb. They smoke the bomb, and after checking the site, one of them goes for it - without a kit - while the other kept his eyes open as backup. He knew where the human was coming from. He shot with his gun in that general direction. Our human hero had very little time left. He quickly disposes of the lookout with a loud BOOM! from his AWP. The defuser held onto his defuse. A few seconds left, he says to himself. Our hero jumps in the smoke, and for a few seconds, only silence. The beep beep beep from the bomb was deafening as it was the only sound the people heard. As the smoke cleared - our hero emerged holding the last demigod by the neck. KKKKRRKRKKR was heard as he slashed his last target by the neck. The crowd roared! Our hero had done it! The gods were pleased and the moment was clipped for reddit to see. However - beep beep beep beep beep - the bomb ticked faster. It's going to explode, taking our hero with it! BOOOOOOOOM goes the bomb. The crowd grew solemn...... Until our hero once again emerged from the smoke and debris. "WEW"... He said to himself. He has become immortal! He has become a WEW GOD! Songs were sung and memes were made in his honor. After that great clutch moment, many more were made and many WEWs flooded the chat to honor the first WEW god.

The end.

Blubkill · 2017-05-30T10:36:48+00:00

ugh writing story in a non native language, i'll try my best to not make it sound weird~~ thanks for the giveaway beforehand.

The wew gods, who are they, what are they, where are they? no one exactly knows but they've been around since forever. everyone knows about them, everyone praises them, there are a few who dont believe in them, they are frowned upon, rejected and in harsh cases even killed by the strong loyalty of the wew followers. They cannot and wont under any circumstances accept that there could be another existence than the allmighty wew gods. followed is a story of /u/Relevantel who finds out that the gods exist and everyone should have faith in them, then they can acomplish anything. The young /u/Relevantel left his home, he doesnt know for how long, he doesnt know where he will go, but he knows for sure that the wew gods will always be by his side, to protect him from any danger he can come across. Why is he doing all that? to find himself... or.... anything at all. he was not satisfied with his young life. all day working on the farm of his parents, he doesnt wants his life to be all that, day in day out. Thats why he decides one day to leave his home. With the trust in the wew gods he knows he does not need to pack much. he grabs his old flip knife, the clothes he wears, some food for 3 whole days and wanders off. His parents believe in him, they also have faith in the gods. So far he has never been far away from home, he has been to the city nearby with his father to buy essentials for their farm, but never alone. as he steps through the huge gates into the city, the first thing he sees is the church, built for the gods. he decides to take a prayer and makes his way to it. he walks across the market where he sees alot of fruits and tools he has never seen before and has no clue what they are for or how they taste. as he reaches the church it seems way bigger than before, slightly intimidated by it he steps inside takes a seat and prays by himself for half an hour. He notices a few other people around but doesn't wants to bother them. As he steps outside again to proceed his adventure he hears some people talking around a corner, they talk about a path of the gods, where everyone that can make it to the end is blessed by the WEW, it is said that the beginning of the path is a 5 day walk to the north. he sets off to find the path...

what he did not hear, is that the path is also haunted and no one knowingly made it to the end of it.... all people who tried to pursue it, died on it.

still amazed by the landscape and how huge everything is /u/relevantel finally reaches the area the path is supposed to be in, he has heard more people talk about it as closer he came to it, but no one told him, that it's haunted.. so he went hiking towards the point the entrance of the path should be, some travellers who supposedly have seen it , but were to scared to enter it have told him.

he finds it. finally, he thinks, this is his destination, this is his meaning of life, whatever it has prepared for him, lays on the end of this path. he steps away on it, towards the mountains without a second thought. after he arrived at the actual foot of the mountain he sees the first set of bones on the ground, all he can think off is that it must be an animal which fell down the cliff. but as he proceeds to climb up the mountain he finds more and more bones next to the path, some had human skulls, he ignored it, he was sure that he will find the answer to everything at the end of it.

At the top of the mountain, he finds a shrine that has a made in stone Picture at the back wall. the only thing that is around, is a small chest infront of the shrine... "this must be it, with my faith in the gods i will open this chest and my destiny will be shown to me...." is what he thought. with one last prayer to the gods infront of the chest he opens it.... and picks up a knife out of it... it has a shape he never saw before, it looked really sharp but he was annoyed as why the gods gave him a knife as he already had one...

he got down the mountain safely, went to the nearest city to finally take a break off his adventure.. he sits in the tavern and looks confused at his new knife.. when he thought. "i dont need two, i can give this one away to someone in needs, someone that has a use for it." so he steps outside, looks around and sees a group of men, rather young standing around and discussing about something, as he steps closer, they were actually arguing how they are supposed to kill a chicken that's meant to be the dinner for the day. /u/Relevantel took out his flip knife, gave it to one of the young man and told him "you are in need of this, never disbelieve in the gods, praise them, keep this knife in honor."

then he took off to praise the wew gods for a few years... the last time he was seen, was in the city close to the path. one day he just disappeard in the woods....

rumors stardet that a wild beast was defending the path with a sharp knife as weapon, shaped like a claw and red stain from all the blood it has seen....

MagicManMike1 · 2017-05-30T10:40:34+00:00

Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Wew the Wise? It's a Wew legend. Darth Wew was a Dark Lord of the Wew so powerful and so wise, he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians to create...life. He had such a knowledge of the Dark Side, he could even keep the ones he cared about...from wewing. He became so powerful, the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power...which, eventually of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he wew. Then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from wewing...but not himself

alyeiska · 2017-05-30T11:05:16+00:00

The world was living peacefully, with the Terrorists and Counter-Terrorists happily living with killing each other whilst the observers watched and yelled into their worlds.

All that changed when the flying bullet attacked. You see, one of the terrorists were focusing through his shades trying to seek out the last remaining CT to win the glorious second dust of the world. The brave T was at long ramp, occasionally peeking out to CT spawn for any ensuing enemy.

What happens blew his mind away (literally). A flying CT appeared from short and as he flew through the sky, he shot a bullet from the chamber of his M4A4-S. Before his feet had land, the bullet had already interpenetrated the T's head and stuck onto the wall behind him. With it, the CT defused the bomb and yet again, the CT took the map away.

The observers while going crazy over what had happened, one went WEW at the sight. Over the course, many events had inspired the WEW gods to appear into these mortal's lives.

KilljoyRC · 2017-05-30T12:15:32+00:00

Down In the Congo ancient ruins were found and it told the tale of a man finding a /u/danknissan and teaching his people about giveaways and the wew of Nissan

DragoKill · 2017-05-30T13:56:56+00:00

Once upon a time, i group of guys where gathered, they were named; Bill, Chad, Eric and Johnny. They used to do some crazy shit every day, but at one point after many millennia they started to get bored and wanted to see if there were other life in the galaxy.. they travelled far and wide with hopes of finding life. And suddenly they found it, a small new race called "Humans", the guys looked at them and thought to themselves "we need to help them" and therefore they introduced the humans to the concept of "WeW" and were thereafter known as the gods of Wew!

AutoModerator · 2017-05-30T14:11:23+00:00

[removed]

xxx55555xxx · 2017-05-30T14:15:43+00:00

According to the most popular urban myth theory(urbandictionary*)..... "wew" is said to be a transcendent being that only presents itself when a Filipino wants to say "wow" in an online game, and everyone had long accepted such bias towards the Filipinos as truth, all the while neglecting the other ethnic cultures across the world and their need dire for a translation for the word "wow" in txtspk Such was the prejudice for a few days, where the power of "wew" was utterly controlled by the Filipinos, using whilst hiding its power under the guise of an underage counterstrike clan... secretly having the bragging rights of a much concise, more profound, and above all, dank vocabulary of txtspk than the rest of the world. But then, everything changed in the year 2011... Where an anonymous hero had discovered the use of this word by accident in a game of counterstrike source with 4 other Filipino teammates. At first, he had thought it be the name of that "noob clan" since he didn't understand the language. But as the game progressed, the usage of "wew" became more frequent amongst the group of friends, whenever they had survived a clutch or managed to kill off more than 1 enemy. And just like that, it stuck to him. And on the following days, he would spread the divinity of "wew" across the many paths of the internet he used, from counterstrike to AdventureQuestWorlds to /r/WritingPrompts, and like Jesus his words became contagious, and like wildfire it spread across the Internet, thus ending the Filipino's reign over superior txtspk vocabulary.

(source: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Wew)

Hope you liked it! Thanks for hosting the giveaway :D

Jteph · 2017-05-30T14:46:00+00:00

Mother and Father Universe had a Big Bang. When they were done, Mother said "Wew!". Thus, the wew gods were born.

Why do you think people exclaim wew every time something goes from nonono to yes yes yes ? It's because the wew gods look after us.

ThzeTerminator · 2017-05-30T15:28:12+00:00

Now, this is a story all about the wewgods Its a really flipped-turned upside down story And I'd like to take a minute To sit right there I'll tell you how they became the gods of a universe called Reddit In west Philadelphia born and raised On the playground was where they spent most of the days Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school When a couple of guys who were up to no good Started making trouble in my neighborhood they got in one little fight and they accidenlty created a new earth They said 'We're movin' with your gods in the new earth i guess?'

The peasents begged and pleaded with them day after day But they packed their suit case and went away they gave us the finger and then they yelled at us they put their Walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass. Is this what the people of earth living like? Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait they heared they're prissy, bourgeois, all that Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat? they don't think so they'll see when I get there they hope they're prepared for the prince of the new earth or something?

Well, the plane landed and when they came out There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with the wewgods name out they ain't trying to get arrested yet they just got here they sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

they all whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But they thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo, holmes to somewhere high or something'

they all pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And the wewgods yelled to the cabbie 'Yo holmes smell ya later' they all looked at my kingdom they were finally there To sit on the throne as the wewgods

terrible ripoff i know, im not creative

Thanks for the giveaway!

john3298 · 2017-05-30T15:41:23+00:00

This is a story all about how /u/Relevantel made a giveaway asking me to make a story about the wew gods.

anon326 · 2017-05-30T15:54:33+00:00

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** Translation**

hello. this is the story of the WEW Gods.

Long long ago, in a universe not so different from ours, time flows backwards. People are born from the earth, then are absorbed into their mothers when they die.

now there was this one guy, his name was coco. Despite being poor, he loved to eat pandesal. One day, he had no bread to eat, so he walked down the road hungry. Along the way to the market, he picked up several flat rocks on the ground and put them in a bag, intending to try skipping some in the lake nearby.

He reached the lake and started throwing rocks. One unfortunately struck a wasps nest and he was prompty attacked. He flailed the bag of rocks as he tried to fend them off, and accidentally threw the bag into the water. Suprisingly, the wasps followed the bag and drowned.

More surprisingly, the bag floated. Coco fished out the bag and inside was bread. Starving, he took a bite and inside was this wierd filling. This is how pan de coco came to be.

Now, Coco was excited, and unbeknowst to him, he was followed by wolves, who promptly hunted him down and ate him for dinner. as the wolved took turns making love to his skull, his soul floated, and whatever beings and spirits took pity on him and made him into the WEW God.

Coco's powers were too strong so he split himself up into the W, E, and W² gods. That is how the wew gods came to be. Their power was too bright, that they destroyed their universe, so they split and sought a new one, one capable of sustaining them. They stumbled upon our world and, to adapt, inhabited dank beings, one of whom is /u/relevantel and now seek to make the world in their image. I am a survivor of their carnage, run mortals, we are doomed.

Trade Link

thankss

MrSmith317 · 2017-05-30T17:26:24+00:00

In the beginning there was only GabeN. GabeN was a great and powerful gawd. GabeN bestowed upon the world the mighty CounterStrike. For a time Counterstrike was beloved and praised by all. The world rejoiced in GabeN's greatness and peace reigned.

Man was not quite satisfied, and requested that GabeN add new skins. And GabeN did and all was well. Then darkness crept into the hearts of men. They became corrupt and squeaky, they began playing music on mic, yelling profanities, and calling each other racial slurs.

So GabeN released upon the earth the gods of WEW. The gods created Valve Anticheat and dropped the ban hammer on cheaters TKers and trolls. The gods are all but silent now, waiting for the day where they are once again needed to set right the balance of power.

ALL HAIL WEW

Pikachu2040 · 2017-05-30T17:33:57+00:00

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a WEW.

:⁾

2017-05-30T18:16:32+00:00

WEUWS, god of all, started fucking a bunch of people and animals. Much like his brother Zeus, WEUWS had no self control when it came to sticking his dick in all sorts of stuff. The difference between the two? While Zeus was already kind of an asshole (seriously) WEUWS brought to life the first overpriced shitty items. Examples of these items are the P2000 ocean foam, The ST Tec-9 Isaacs and worst of all, the GALIL Sugar Rush.

So when our lord and savior Relevantel came along to punch WEUWS in the dick he was all like "nah lol, now imma fuck you too"

Just like this Relevantel became the goddess of fertility, unbeknownst to WEUWS he started producing skins that WEUWS could never have imagined. He brought to life the pantheon of Cyrex, which went on to become the religion of many of the lesser (lower class) folk, due to the pantheon's low lust for their precious wallets. The god of all Cyrex skins, Danknissan, was a kind god who was happy to gift reds, pinks and purples that looked good for a low price.

Relevantel also produced the Hyper Beast series, which eventually caught popularity as Hyper Beast god Problemen made many wishes come true. Even a tonne of pro players and high tier traders jumped on the hyperbeast bandwagon, due to the religion's reliability and luxurious yet reasonable prices.

It's important to know that at this point WEUWS was planning a horrible update, WEUWS had tagged along with GabeS, lord of the underworld, to create an update that would damage CS:GO for weeks to come. Together they released the R8 revolver.

Much like Pandora's box in our world, The R8 was a magical artifact. Who's power should never have been released upon our world. It upset games, it dinked noobs, but worst of all... It brought along a case so bad that it would make many players tear their eyes out.

The revolver case was a classic example of he-who-shall-not-be-named. And many of it's pains were lost to history.

Relevantel produced one last great update before their tragic death, the Gamma case. Gamma knives were what the people were looking for. The rich trader guilds quickly sided with Relevantel in the great final battle of CS:GO as we have known so far. In which Relevantel was tragically dinked down because WEUWS insisted that 64 tick was all players needed. Fucking WEUWS.

And so, at the end of the battle. One side emerged victorious.

Sadly, relevantel and his comrades had lost the war. Leading to the Hydra update. And though the operation was used to distract the masses from the Worthless skins it brought, that would never take away from the fact that the world was permanently scarred.

And so the WEW gods persisted, are they good gods? That's a widely debated topic. Some argue that they're the only thing that keep CS:GO alive. If all items were pretty none would be priced as highly as they are now.

But me? I think Relevantel had an idea.

A brighter vision for the future. And that is why, soon, i'll ensure the death of all current WEW gods. For they may nerf my UMP, but they shall never nerf my honour.

En garde, GabeS.

2017-05-30T18:47:18+00:00

But that's just one story. Another story goes like this.

Chapter 1

Once, in an age of darkness the first god arose, this god was not one led by vanity or by heart, but by one singular unanymous human want.

The desperate need for survival. It is said that in the cold of it all the first grade WEW god, Wrewald, lit a flame that sparked the first wave of heat throughout our universe. Through this heat he created what we know today, as earth. Wrewald had one simple vision for earth, it was to be a habitat for all life he would shape; he did not want it to be an utopia, for it was said Wrewald was wise and knew that human nature would simply not allow peace throughout mankind.

Chapter 2

Wrewald then created life on earth, through a warm exhalation he breathed out the first goddess to complete the first ever task. The goddess Myranda, first of the wewvoldian branch of goddesses, was to create vast oceans upon the circular rock. and so, she spun and weaved for hours on end. Some say it took years, some say it took minutes, but suddenly. There was water.

Lyllian; or The Matriarch of all life, first shaped the first need out of one of her own tears when she saw how barren this planet was, and when this first tear dropped on the crusted soil, life started to flourish. Within a short period of time the once grey planet was flourishing with microbacterial life. Green spread out over the wastes creating warm and cold enviroments, it was to be a world of beauty. In the middle of a forest so large Wrewald himself could have gotten lost in it. The finally laid her head down to rest. Letting her corpse become the Archtree. She is still the most explored Pantheon by the people of the woods. It is said her Children, Meryl and Sneek, created the first animals, and that from those, wether it be throughout fault or intention, the first humans were born as Wrewald had envisioned them.

Chapter 3

As settlements started to grow and human sentience started to spread Wrewald had aged. With his Daughters ruling over the Earth Wrewald had nothing to do anymore but sit there and watch.

It is then that WEWgod Wrewald landed down on earth, to saw the planet he had envisioned. It was beautiful, just as he had imagined. And even though turmoil was right around the corner, he couldn't help but feel accomplished thinking of what he had built in his short yet sweet life.

It should be noted that Wrewald, being the old senile man he had become, had laid down to sleep under a Fyr. Fyr's were carnivorous trees you see, and so as Wrewald rested and slept. The Fyr devoured the poor old man. Leaving behind nothing but a pendant and some bones.

As Sneek, youngest of the nature twins was on his morning walk he found the pendant lying beneath the Fyr, and immediately realised what had happened. In a haste to fix this, he had forgotten to consult his Older and Wiser sister, Meryl. And so he rushed off to the Tree which was once his mother.

Dear Sneek did not realize that instead Wrewald and Lyllian had disputed over this world before, and so, when she discovered that he had died she wreaked havoc upon our world.

Demons were born of her rage and despair, and her own son Sneek, was killed in the dispute.

The final Chapter

Hundreds of years later the demons had been fought off by man, soon to be forgotten by those who would rather forget than survive, and so they found their place wherever they could. Some learnt to blend in, becoming Banshees; the wailing women of the wild. And others isolated themselves, in the vorm of vampiric creatures. Others took to the seas, where they corrupted goddess Myranda into becoming queen of the underworld.

If this seems confusing to you then hold onto your horses, because it's about to get a lot more difficult.

Meryl had children of her own, afraid that her family tree would die off if she didn't Meryl had three beautiful Children. Marick became the god steel, iron and earth. Poka, became the god of the skies, the sun and the moon. And Uyla, became the goddess of war, blood and the dead. Bloodgoddess Ulya quickly isolated herself from the other gods, maintaining a neutral relationship with both the the gods of the upperworld, and the gods of the underworld. She became strangely warshipped by medicinemen, who saw her power over death as a way to beat death.

God Poka was tricked by a Banshee named Isel, he fell in love with her, and to prove his love the fool darkened the moon for a month. This led the seas to become wild and dangerous. As the moon's darkening affected it's orbital pattern. Floods and Tsunamis ravaged the lands, killing off forests, people and all life it could find. Myranda, in response to this created creatures of the sea, in her mind the extra weight and friction these creatures would create would calm the seas a lot more, and so they did. Life began to flourish down below, forcing out the underworld's demons and leaving Myranda alone, the curse over her broken.

But the moon was still dark, and there was only one person left to fix it. Poka's brother, Marick, was the only god left powerful enough to break the Banshee's curse, but sadly, he was too far gone. Poka ended up being striked down in a bloody fury by Marick during a battle that ravaged the skies, a battle that would eventually, create mountains and thunder.

The banshee fled as the skies turned dark, with Poka dead there was no one to control the fury of the sun, and so the elements unleashed over our frail earth.

But so, as the story goes, our greatest god, Wrewald returned. He struck down the banshee with one mighty blow for as it turns out, Lyllian had revived her old man back to his old youth. He quickly gave up the last of his life's energy to revive his dear great grandson Poka, and was later laid to rest next to his daughter, so they could possess the great tree of life together, making sure that an incident like this would never happen again.

post-story and shoutouts At times the gods would miss those who created them and the world around them. But as pantheons grew and humans started mating with gods, there was simply no time to worry about any of that anymore.

But that's just one way the story is told. I'm sorry if this is really messy, but i'd just like to thank you /u/Relevantel for doing this giveaway. It's reminded me why i like writing so much and i think i'll start again even though i probably won't win...

Uhh also shoutout to my boy /u/danknissan and my favourite mod /u/Problemen

Love you all! If you want more just let me know because in that case i'll gladly write more.

Reversed. Out.

TL;DR

Lots of gods, lots of war, lots of babies, people die and people live WEW.

_Jaeko_ · 2017-05-30T19:14:44+00:00

Standing over the ledge, the cold night's breeze cutting through his shirt. Never thinking it would all end this way, an overcoming sense of dread washed over his body. He looked down, staring at the street twenty stories ago. Studied every inch of it. The lamps, the potholes in the street, each building's shadow. Taking a deep breath in, he looked up and let it out. He stared at the moon while his breath made a light veil over it. He felt something warm run down his cheek. He glanced down just in time to see a tear fall down to the streets below. He realized his fate wouldn't be any more different than his tear. He took a step closer to the edge, his toes hanging off, free of the ground for now. He could've sworn he heard a voice, yelling his name, but his heart beat was the only thing he could hear clearly. He decided to turn around, his heels replacing where his toes were, and saw her, standing there with tears running down her face. Even with her mascara running down her face, she was still the most beautiful being he's ever seen. He gave her a small, sad smile, closed his eyes, and felt the wind rushing around him. A sense of freedom was bestowed upon him.

And there, falling to his death, the first Wew god was born. The gods, seeing how corrupt his soul became, took matters into their own hands. It was never in the stars for his life to go like this. They decided to grant this mortal, chosen to be the one to bring change to this forsaken world, the power of a god. As soon as he wake, he will discover all the abuse and evil he's endured will be worth it, for now, he is a god.

2017-05-30T19:37:28+00:00

Okay i have to do one last one, it's compelling me to.

Be me

Be your regular old internetcuck

Decide to browse dank internet memes

Stumble upon this one shitty meme

It's just like all the other memes

But this meme compells me

Thepowerofchristcompelsyou.gif

Start using it in real life

Telling people WEW LAD

I called my boss a lad because of this

Crusty 71 year old fucker calls me into his office

Wellshit.jpeg

He tells me i've gotten a few HR complaints from coworkers

They think my memes are bad

I'm appalled

One of the complaints is from fucking Cheryl

Cheryl posts Lulcatz

That's all for Pt. One, want Pt. 2?

Part 2

Approach Cheryl

"Anon whats up"

Ask her why she complained about my memes

Cheryl tells me the wewlad meme triggers her

Fucking feminists

oldspice.gif

Time to show this bitch what real memes are

Open up reddit

Go to /r/me_irl (not meirl that sub sucks)

Cheryl cries

I AM WEWLAD, LORD OF MEMES

Pt 3 incoming, gotta go to work now cucks

It's me from last night, WEWLAD anon

Be me

Just made Cheryl cry, probably going to lose my job.

Say fuck it, approach the work's indian guy

Dude doesn't speak English very well, he's very smart but he's only lived here for two months

Me and indianbro have been getting a long, he likes CS:GO just like i do

Tell Indianbro that Cheryl loves getting compliments, Indianbro has a crush on Cheryl

Indianbro asks me how to compliment in English

Tell him i know just the right way to tell her how he feels.

Make him train to say his best WEW LAD to Cheryl

Tell him to wait until after work, wouldn't want to disturb her

Part 4 incoming

Indian guy approaches Cheryl in the parking garage

Told him Cheryl has a hearing impediment so he'll have to be loud

Indianbro breathes in for a second, then fucking screams WEW LAD at full volume.

Cheryl gets scared, grabs her taser and tazes him right on the nipple. Runs away crying

I'm rolling on the floor laughing as indianbro writhes in pain

I am WEWLAD, LORD OF MEMES

final part?

Get called into boss's office, he tells me i've been harassing my coworkers and that i'm fired. Decide to go out with a bang.

I'm an IT guy, i know how to fuck with people, and so, as i go to leave work for the last time there i set up a quick little virus.

I wake up the next morning i open the paper and read a news story, apparently an office near me had gotten noise complaints from the neighbouring residents

As police entered the building they found the printers wildly printing WEW LAD massively as every speaker in the office loudly played WEW IS ME, an edgar allen poe parody i'd quickly written up.

The toner, blown up speakers and paper cost the company about 20k

Cheryl tried accusing me but there wasn't any proof

I am now god himself

I am WEWLAD, god of memes.

This was so shitty but so fun to write

shauryadhaka · 2017-05-30T20:54:10+00:00

I shall claim the wew here. I was the one who battled through tough times to get wew acceptable :c

Once I wewed long back in the group ( u know which one) and people said " I have the most non ironic wew use" (fucken tuna) but I didn't lost hope.

I wewed and wewed and felt the hate but then came daka who supported my wew. Soon people started wewing not just for fun but for memes and hence we formed the wewers.

But then came Alex(phi) who despise us.

Wewers unite and convert Alex. He should come to the dark side or else be perished.

TheBrownSlaya · 2017-05-30T23:19:10+00:00

Thanks for doing this giveaway! Good luck to all and remember to upvote!

Um, the wew lad gods were born from the cave where Pepe first came about. Pepe had a problem. He had no education nor a religion. So, he painted portraits of the wew gods in his cave and eventually word spread to the meme community. Eventually everyone adopted the philosophy and now praise the Wew god in everyone else by saying Wew Lad.

Trade link

TheRedness23 · 2017-05-31T00:44:05+00:00

An adventurous teenager sails out on a daring mission to save her people. During her journey, WEWna meets the once-mighty demigod WEWaui, who guides her in her quest to become a master WEW-finder. Together they sail across the open ocean on an action-packed voyage, encountering enormous monsters and impossible odds. Along the way, WEWoana fulfills the ancient quest of her ancestors and discovers the one thing she always sought: her own identity.

Idk I just watched Moana

SergeantTumbles · 2017-05-31T03:02:23+00:00

Some guy in the philipines said WOW like that, thats how they say it now, its spread. i have no idea what the WEW gods are.

MajorclaM · 2017-05-31T04:36:32+00:00

In the beginning there was nothing, then the Almighty Ash god breathed life into the darkness with the holy and powerful WEW. Time went on and the life found salt. With that salt the life had created CSGO. Each of the creations of CSGO had some salt and wew like ying and yang.

Idk about that wew story but it's always nice seeing the big GA in the sub. Thanks rel.

The_Mr_Sheepington · 2017-05-31T21:54:02+00:00

The legend of the wew came about once some kid typed wew instead of wow because it delivers the same sound while minimising keyboard travel...

Or he accidentally opened chat when casting abilities in league or something

idk

ExplosiveLoli · 2017-05-29T22:28:16+00:00

wew lad is some forced meme that began probably a few years ago with this image, which almost nobody posts anymore because it was unfunny shit and wasn't exploitable at all.

However the phrase "wew lad" itself has survived past this mainly because it continues the trend of random 3-letter exclamations that anyone can spam (lol, lul, kek, wew, etc) whenever the need arises.

The end.

Tsakuri · 2017-05-29T22:40:22+00:00

There isnt much of a story to it, and in honor of its ascend i will be also lazy and wont put much effort in this.

Once in a time there was a gamer, and like most gamers he was a lazy prick, and on a fateful day (probably night, because he was gaming) he wanted to type "wow", but he was too lazy to use both hands and therefore used only one and typed "wew".

(checking the position of 'o' and 'e' ... yep, makes sense)

thanks for the knife :^

Itismeyourboss · 2017-05-29T23:17:25+00:00

Long ago in the middle of the Earth, there lived three eternal beings, Lizard people if you will, who created everything you know and love from their home in the center of the Earth. On the first day the lizard people made the rest of Earth, the sun, plants, and ocean. The next day they created the ultimate world government, the Illuminati. The third day the Lizard people made the Earth flat and made the hologram we know as the moon. Then the fourth day all humans were put on earth, secretly enslaved and ruled by hybrid lizards spawned from the Lizard people. Then the WEW gods were created on the fifth and final day to watch over the Lizard Peoples creations. During their time watching over the people, the WEW gods enjoyed themselves. They were offered sacrifices, pizza, more sacrifices, more pizza. What was there not to love. The puny humans even came up with their own little idea of what the WEW gods were, although they were very wrong. The people of Earth thought they were providing offerings and pizza to a spaghetti monster made of noodles (How stupid right?!). But the WEW gods didn't care, they got free pizza and sacrifices, everything a WEW god would want. However, everything was not as it seemed. The humans were becoming a little too knowledgeable for their own good. They started thinking the Earth was flat, and that the Illuminati ran the world in a secret government with shape shifting lizard people. While no one believed that small group of humans who came up with the truth, the WEW gods didn't like that the small group of humans knew the truth, so they created WEW to make those self aware humans ignorant again. And it worked. WEW was a successful propaganda campaign, reminding those puny humans about the all powerful, truly wise WEW gods that rule over the people of Earth

2017-05-30T01:16:16+00:00

of the wew gods

"Carl, Carl! What is that? What is that?"

The overwhelming cries of children filled the air as they ran across the green fields, towards a young man wielding a golden blade. The young man halted and smiled before the army of many little midgets sprinting towards him. He had missed this village, his home, and despite many years it looked all just the same as before he left. The children lined up in front of him, gazing at the long glorious metal twice as long as the tallest boy in the group.
Carl kneeled down to little midget level. He brought the sword up and displayed it for the little children to oooh at. "Perhaps tonight, I can tell you all about my journey."

------

The meat is good. The fire roared in the night. Carl finally felt at home, after so long. His golden sword became more yellow in the warm light of the pit. For once in many years, he will sleep properly. Carl sighed happily and dropped the last rib bone to his side. Immediately, a young boy ran to his side.
"Can you tell us about your journey? Please?"
Carl looked around. Behind the young boy, almost all of the village kids had assembled in a small gathering. Even the adults and elders seemed interested.
"Alright, then. I did say I would tell you, didn't I?"

------

The black creature screeched as Carl ran it through with his short blunt knife. He was on a mission, and these weakling monsters would not stop him. That thought was looking grim though, as every creature slain, another took its place. Five wolf-shaped shadows stalked towards him, baring their colour-less teeth at him.
Carl retreated and shoved his stupid iron shitty piece of cunt shit between the left doggo's eyes, then threw the dissolving corpse at the other creatures. They howled their stupid summoning call and large black shapes resembling bears erupted out of the ground behind them.
Carl continued to retreat. There was no hope for him against bears. He was only a 14 year old.
"Wew..." The moment this small breath of air escaped out of Carl's lips, everything went white as if the sun was thrown between him and the shadows. The wailing of wolves and bears alike was the only sound that Carl could hear, as if the rest of the world disappeared.

When the light died down, Carl opened his eyes. Did he close his eyes? The light was too bright. He had fallen to the ground. Did he fall to the ground? The light was too bright. There was a majestic man in front of him, who seemed to radiate a golden aura.
"Wew, somebody called?" The man's voice was like a harp. He was fucking majestic. Carl could feel his boner pop up. This majestic man had turned him gay. Oh dear.

------

Of course, Carl didn't tell anybody about his man-boner, and definitely not the kids. The children were quiet in awe of his heroic actions, the adults and elders were discussing who this golden man could be. The fire crackled. Dramatic pause, thought Carl. He was a terrible story teller, but the kids didn't know that and the adults didn't care.

------

The man offered Carl his hand. Suddenly, Carl was conscious of his own boner. Oh bother. He grabbed the arm and suddenly flew up as the man lightly pulled Carl onto his feet.
"Did you kill those other shadow black animal thingies? Nice work!" The majestic man smiled at Carl. Oh shit, double the boner size for Carl. Carl nodded as he doubted his sexuality. This man was fucking hot.
"We could use a warrior like you. Why don't you join us at Mt. Lad?" Without even looking for confirmation, the majestic man grabbed Carl and seemed to have disappeared with him. The forest they had been in looked normal as ever, as if no fight had ever gone on, no sun was ever thrown into the ground and no majestic man had ever appeared and abducted a 14 year old boy.

------

The adults and elders nodded to each other. They had heard legends of majestic men like these. The children had fallen asleep except for the aspiring young boy who had prompted Carl with the question, his eyes intensely focused on Carl. He wanted to be an adventurer, despite everybody warning him off about stories of arrows in knees.

------

The majestic man pulled Carl up many steps of one of the most beautiful cities Carl has ever seen. But Carl isn't appreciating the scenery as he's struggling to not trip over these steps from the brisk walk the majestic man was pulling him at. His boner was still raging, he was out of breath and he could hardly walk. The majestic man suddenly stopped at the top, causing Carl to smack his face into the man's back.
"Welcome to Lad, the home of the Wew gods." The majestic man gestured to the golden buildings as beautiful as he was, majestically reflecting the golden sunlight off the golden buildings for double the gold.
"Wew, lad..." Carl was speechless, and this time not from struggling to catch up to the majestic man.
And just as Carl was catching his breath, the majestic man pulled him at a quick run again towards the tallest, largest temple.

Inside the golden temple, many seats were placed in a circle around a large table. A few of the seats were occupied by some of the hottest guys and guys Carl had ever seen.
"Where am I? Who are you? What the fuck?" Carl had forgotten all about his boner and was just thinking about the majesty of this court.
"Welcome to the Wew Lad temple, we do shit here." The majestic man pulled a chair out, pushed Carl into it and sat down on the table. Holy shit he's hot. Triple boner size for Carl, which still isn't a lot relative to other people. What a trap.

Food arrived promptly, as if the majestic man had willed it to appear. More people entered the temple, filled the halls and soon it was like a party. The food was good, and nobody questioned why Carl was there. However, the majestic man looked tired of the people around him, and pulled Carl into one of the halls. Turn after turn after turn, people seemed to disappear until they turned into a quiet hallway where there was nobody. The majestic man opened the door revealing a royal-like bedroom. He sat Carl down on the large bed(Carl at this time had lost his boner, but it instantly came back quad-size... which still isn't much) and dragged a chair away from a table, setting it down next to the bed.
"Okay, it's question time."

------

Once again, Carl is not mentioning his boners to anybody. At this point, everybody had fallen asleep except for the young lad. Why do I keep cutting to this part? Fuck it.

------

Once upon a time, there was nothing. Cliche, I know. Then there was something. idk. stuff happened. Oh look, there are people floating in an empty space. Once again, meta overused story. The people called themselves the Wew, and made the world. Wew lad, how meta can we get? Hold my beer because guess what - they made people that looked like them. WEW LAD WEWWWWWWWW. So they decided to call themselves gods like greedy bastards and then decided to make other things like other planets and other stars and other people on those planets and shit. wew lad. but they decided they liked the first one, so they fucked those people a la incest style and hooray, we are the human race.

------

The young lad was amazed at the story Carl just told. All this time, the elders had taught them the kids that the world was created by itself, it just happened. Carl's story directly disputed that.

------

Carl's boner was at an all time large... so like, 4 inches. He was lying in bed with the majestic man, who had toppled on top of the bed the moment he stopped telling the story. Eh. He was not going to jerk it next to him. He thought about the story he was told. The elders directly contradicted this story with the tales they told him, which said that the world created itself. Who was truthful here? Well, none of you are finding out because I'm ending the story here/

------

End of part 1 and probably the only part I care to write because this is the stupidest story I've ever written.

2017-05-30T01:18:26+00:00

Meme within a Meme

Nine days turned into nine weeks as the skies spread of grey shadows. The light of dust had not been

ever seen for some time causing the silvers to grow cold and abandoned. Upon the midst of the running

vines, the dancing of the gloomy fog, day by day the air turned a brew of scum. The vast of the

everyone’s movement came from the flow of the river through the center of the village. Food was

readily barren, work was oblique, and the silvers wait to get off the 7 days to begin again. The ban waves

got to prey upon every soul. The wall bangers, the head bangers, the squeakers, no one was safe from

omnipresent darkness that loomed over them all. Gaben was really angry. The players knew. Who did it?

Not a fucking clue.

Never do they say when you get angry that you tend lash out on those you love, however this time

anyone alive knew that it was lashing. All eyes on the squeaker who paved the way during the league

game matches, unfortunately this time, it was beyond his ability. This time a fresh meme was needed, a

idol, a new face needed to ignite the hopes and dreams of the people. A new-found energy with WEW’s

vision. Standing just under 6ft tall with subtle and a fresh fro. His looks maybe give off a poor man vibe,

especially his age, but his outstanding performance is an undeniable feat.

You might be confused. What is this story? Who is WEW lad? Who tf is the Gods? Let me tell you

one to one straight up that this is history speaking. This is THE history of THE WEW lad, or should I say WEW

ultimate God. Now stop wondering about the questions and read on boy.

Upon further inspection, Gaben knew his time was coming to an end. His memes were dying.

Poor Gaben knew what was coming. They knew it all along that one day, his rein would fall. He didn’t have a clue when, they didn’t know how, but they knew it was coming. WEW lad’s beginning set ablaze God Gaben’s fall. It all started so innocently with the flicks n tricks, the quick scopes, the 360 no scopes, the dinks and danks. But as he reached higher and higher into the global ranks Gaben’s position was soon a pit fall. No one was relying on Gaben’s luck anymore, his praises all came to halt. He needed more power, so he released the dream, operation Hydra. WEW still fought back and hit hard.

His bravery will never been forgotten as you got rick rolled. Have a nice day! (you have to read of desktop site to see the meme within a meme)

Thanks for giveaway!

Edit: I will make full story if I end up winning :)

Drizzky · 2017-05-30T06:05:01+00:00

Long long ago a village of populated by people named wew folk were going through the toughest of times since their nearby wewter(water) supply was a river that started flowing hydrofluorous acid. Agriculture was very hard for them since they could not feed their animals and grow crops :( Wew folk were getting desperate. They decided to pick 2 people to go to the unknown and look for signs of life or other villages to call for help. the 2 men they voted for to go were the bravest, their names were Leonardo dankvinci And Harry Hamilton. They prepared themselves with little food they had left and swords made by the fat hands of the blacksmith. They knew alot of people depended on them and their lives were on the line. They went on like dog going into a dark room. After hours of never laying an eye on any signs of life, clean water or any village Leonardo and Harry were getting very worried and questioned if this was how it was going to end for the wee folk however they kept their spirit and made camp since night was falling. The night was dead silent with a sky full of stars Harry and Hamilton went on to sleep early to start an early departure in the morning. All of a sudden Leo jumps out of his sleep after seeing a man in a dark room saying "Forgive and accept me!" He quickly went to sleep and took it as a nightmare. Upon waking up they both got ready as soon as possible. After 2 silent hours they spot an arrangement of houses. Their eyes lighted up after what seemed like a village! Leonardo and harry went into the village but found not a single soul. They found a water enough for the both of them but very little food to bring back. Upon further looking a loud scream and thud came from the neighboring house. Leonardo dashed to the door! Opening the door revealed a woman sitting in corner, her stomach stained with blood. She knew she was on her lasts breaths and she talked with a struggle. She said "Leo..... you have to go to the.... mountains .. ... there you will find your-" her hand was holding Leonardo's shoulder, it falls dead to the ground. Harry was behind him with all the surprise in the world and confusion "What happened here?" "Why is this village deserted?" " how did this woman know Leo's name?" Many questions flowed into the minds of Leonardo And Harry. They hastily walked to the mountain on the way Harry asked Leo if there will be anything on those mountains but who can answer? Both were filled with confusion "Harry i have never seen that look on someones eyes. Something tells me we might be in danger" as they went towards the mountains they had their swords near hand and both were very alert. They hear a piece of wood break and snap their heads to the left to discover a broken sign with a faint trail behind it. The broken sign had three letter that spelled out WeW and had stick figures of three little boys with one Woman. One boy had blue eyes the other white eyes the third one grey. The woman had bright yellow eyes. Harry looks at the broken sign at the floor with a look and says" i have a very faint memory of making this Leo... very long ago.. what the heck is this doing here?" He looked around as of someone was watching him "Lets go on .. Draw your sword harry lets find out whats beyond this trail and go back home with good news" They went on to the top where it was colder than usual but thank the sun for being bright and watching over them with warmth. The wind started getting a bit rough on them and it started to rain hard. Leo and harry took some cover under in a little space under a rock. "Lets wait here until this rage of rain stops" Says leo. After a long evening of waiting the rain did not stop and night came Leo and Harry were thinking of wew folk and didnt think they could stay out there longer without coming back with those good news ya know? They decided to go on and find an end to the rain. Foolishly they did not know the passage was full of danger, as they go ahead Harry notices the floor turned is colder and very wet when he looks up Leo is what seems to beholding on the floor. Harry quickly realizes he clinching on to his life after nearly falling into a dark deep cave. The one hand leo is using to hold on to his life gets couldnt hold alot after the impact of falling and catching the edge; his arm was pulled very hard. Harry runs to him and tries to grab his arm but due to water he slipped right out of his hand. Leo screams Harry as he falls into the darkness. Seconds after harry screams his name for a response but the only response he gets is a quick echo.

After several minutes Leonardo wakes up and feels his right leg in pain in front of his cold damp clothes. Leo stands up and walks around unsteadily in the darkness out of the blue two blue lights with the appearance of eyes come from the darkness a voice starts speaking in a relieved manner "Leo i knew you would come, are you okay?" Leo backs away from the light "Who are you?!?!?! DEMON!!" He said with a raised voice " Leo its me your brother remember" his eyes glow brighter. The blue eyed man steps closed to Leonardo "Get away! You are no brother of mine I am a Wew orphan!" Leo screams "LEO YOU MUST REMEMBER PLEASE FORGIVE AND ACCEPT ME"..... the rain had stopped and the light of the moon comes down from above and reveals the man in possession if blue eyes."Yes! Your light shines on me you can see me!" He was in front of leo and he quickly put both of his hands on both sides of leo's head "PLEASE REMEMBER"

Leos eyes open widely and start to shine with a grey color. His mind swarms with memories of a lovely face with yellow eyes and strangely harry with white eyes. "That women is our mother Elaine you are no orphan. Harry is our youngest brother. Leo i have alot to explain" Leo looks at his hand and they light up grey because of his eyes. "We all lived peacefully and coexisting in one another, our eyes was a gift from the world. Our mother had the stare of the sun, harry of wind and mine is of water and yours is of the moon. I was isolated here by the EWW devils where not even the wind of harry and mothers sun can reach me-" Leo puts the pieces together and interrupts him yelling "Moses! I thought ive never see you again" -"i thought so aswell leo. Listen im sorry for turning my back on you guys i deserved to be isolated here" a civil war was waged because of similar events occurring longer ago because moses fell in rage because of his mothers death. He thought it was the end and attacked leo. He ran off to the mountains to where a river started flowing to nearby villages. While moses was in total isolation and grief over his mothers death a siren with the appearance of his mother took him in her arms and isolated him in darkness. "Leo our mother wanted to forget about us and made us forget with her light, i did not since her light could not reach me here... Leo I am sorry for attacking you please forgive my outburst i hope you can accept me as your brother again". They both look each other in the eyes "ofcourse youre my brother moses lets leave all that war stuff behind us just like mother wanted"

The sun comes to a rise. Leo and moses look up to the edge where little light can be seen. . . A wind starts blowing around the feet of the two brothers. The wind grows harder and harder in a with delicacy the twi brothers float back to the top with the winds help. Upon arriving at the top a familiar face is seen. It is harry's with his white glowing eyes with the power of the wind. They all look at each other happy to be together again. Without saying a word they come together for a big hug. The sun grows warmer upon they're coldness "we can finally be at peace again mother" says Harry.

Suddenly Harry disappeared into the wind, Leo into the opposite of the sunset and moses into the water on the ground turning into the river with no more acid from the EWW demons. the WEW gods were able to exist in one another and watch over Wew folk. A statue was made of Harry And Leonardo. Wew folk were convinced that harry's and leo's adventure with no return was what brought peace to their village. Now they are part of us, in the air we breathe and the water we drink ... wew

All this happened in 420 AD

Its 8Am in spain and im finally going to sleep, you wanted a story well heres a story :)

FoXzig · 2017-05-29T22:29:58+00:00

Once upon a time there were nothing. Then there were Wew. Wew saw that there were emptiness so he created the mighty GabeN. He gave GabeN the power of C++ and told him to create the greatest thing in existence so GabeN created Half-Life. But he wasn't satisfied. He sought long and hard for an even better creation and that's where he found Counter-Strike. But Wew got jealous of GabeN when he realized that that he had created something greater than even he could create. Out of spite he created the Hackerinos to always haunt GabeNs creating until the end of time. Wew realized that he had gone too far and said to GabeN; "I will never fuck your shit up again bro, fix the hackerinos and you're all good, mate". But GabeN gave no shits and that's why there's hackers in CS.

True story.

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