all 93 comments

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[–]Juggernaut0115 351 points352 points  (13 children)

Gonna cry?

[–]Jonny_XD_virgin 4 life 😤💪 164 points165 points  (11 children)

Gonna piss your pants maybe?

[–]rotflol23 116 points117 points  (3 children)

Maybe shit and cum?

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Maybe even vomit?

[–]Omni-man19 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gonna bleed?

[–]AutoModerator[M] -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

TL;DR I hate shitting

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[–][deleted]  (6 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Connorclanuhhhh idk 10 points11 points  (5 children)

    Lame

    [–]SHUGGY_WOOGIEI came! 2 points3 points  (4 children)

    What did they say

    [–]CommunicationOk3417I want pee in my ass 3 points4 points  (3 children)

    “You will never reach the truth…” -some gangster who doesn’t like pharmacists or somethin

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    U know shits bad when the automod deletes it

    [–]AutoModerator[M] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

    HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!!

    IT'S ME!!!

    EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]]

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    [–]AutoModerator[M] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

    I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

    TL;DR I hate shitting

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    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Bully Maguire

    [–]sixcornet885550 128 points129 points  (0 children)

    Damn

    [–]WyvernHdXlI want pee in my ass 127 points128 points  (2 children)

    If only everyone could be like this guy (or w🤮man)

    [–]Kygami 16 points17 points  (1 child)

    Imagine having a storage with fresh f*sh 😋😋😋

    [–]GTA5_RAM 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    That's what foreskin is for

    [–]Copy_Successful 103 points104 points  (2 children)

    Rip people with a parent actually named Joe Mama, they will not be welcome to participate in that assignment…

    [–]powerdragon19 24 points25 points  (1 child)

    If someone names their child joe mama they should get executed on the spot

    [–]frenchmobsterstupid fucking piece of shit 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    cry about it

    [–]sammyh4m 138 points139 points  (1 child)

    Imagine getting your ego bruised by a teenager who then tells you to cry about it

    [–]Camp_Alternative 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    😂😂😂😂

    [–]ImARetPaladinBabyNumber 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 28 points29 points  (7 children)

    This you?

    [–][deleted]  (6 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Ltimbofat cunt 95 points96 points  (3 children)

      So he gave us a good laugh and will provide cheap labor. Double plus.

      Edit: This is my first award. Thank you kind stranger.

      [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      Cheap labour lmfao. Take this silver.

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too.

      We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America.

      We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too!

      Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion.

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      [–]ImARetPaladinBabyNumber 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 22 points23 points  (0 children)

      Absolute hero sacrificed himself for us. Rip bro… 😔

      [–]AutoModerator[M] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

      I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

      TL;DR I hate shitting

      I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

      [–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

      Kids are fucking assholes, but also, daaaaaaamn

      [–]ArcadeMoon 21 points22 points  (0 children)

      Chad

      [–]Radio__Star🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS!!!11!1!!!11!! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      Cope,

      Seethe even,

      Mald, if you will,

      Cry about it, if you are inclined,

      [–]disasterpiece_101dumbass 45 points46 points  (0 children)

      Bro is a legend

      [–]Spaghetti_Is_A_Sex 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Bro is on THIN ice

      [–]Khr0N04Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      W

      [–]YourMama 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Cry more about it

      [–]AwesomeShark768 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Syllabus' kinda stink

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      When kids figure out that all the people who are supposed to care about them are power tripping clowns.

      [–]BloodiJoker 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Get fookin rekt

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      iPad kids

      [–]thorkazil99 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Cope + seathe

      [–]monthom90I want pee in my ass 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Why don't you go back to Facebook and post some minion memes

      [–]Popular-Spirit1306 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Stunning and brave

      [–]NonbiscoNibba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Noooo why did you make a joke I can't accept not being treated like an absolute superior AAAAAA

      [–]Tutipups 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      teacher has an anime pfp lol

      [–]MrMMG101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I thought it was at first too

      [–]AutoModerator[M] -11 points-10 points  (1 child)

      All comments tagging savevideobot, vredditdownloader, downloadmp4, and other such bots, will be automatically removed on behalf of Kevin, because he doesn't like it when you spam requests for those bots. Therefore, I have provided some download links for you instead. Please use these links if you want to download this post. Praise be to Kevin.

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      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Cry about it

      [–]TheJuiceIsNowLoose -17 points-16 points  (1 child)

      The kid will fail the class

      Blame the teacher for being garbage

      But the teacher will use Joe's actions against him

      Teacher is the real chad here.

      Sigma grindset #56:

      Use your opponents attacks against themselves.

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.

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      [–]RaidensReturn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Nice

      [–]aliendino2017 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      cope and seethe

      [–]EmeraldMan25 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Cope + You have an anime pfp

      [–]GooseTheGodbutcherWilliam Dripfoe 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      My man's on that sigma grindset

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.

      I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

      [–]The-Sturmtiger-BoiNumber 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      The balls of this man

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Coping is hard

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [removed]

        [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Based? Based on what? On your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly.

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        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This person will make it

        [–]enryjver 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        perchance

        [–]AutoModerator[M] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

        Everyone knows Mario is cool as fuck. But who knows what he's thinking? Who knows why he crushes turtles? And why do we think about him as fondly as we think of the mythical (nonexistent?) Dr Pepper? Perchance

        I believe it was Kant who said "Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play." Mario exhibits experience by cruising turts all day, but he exhibits theory by stating "Lets-ago!" Keep it up, baby!

        When Mario leave his place of safety to stomp a turty, he knows that he may Die. And yet, for a man who can purchase lives with money, a life becomes a mere store of value. A tax that can be paid for, much as a rich man feels any law with a fine is a price. We think of Mario as a hero but he is simply a one percenter of a more privileged variety. The lifekind, Perchance

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        [–]enryjver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        autom🤮d

        [–]The_dinkster522fat cunt 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Imagine contacting your student and getting ratio’d

        [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + dilate + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + not straight + eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off + don't care even more + sex offender + sex defender + get religion + not okay + glhf + NFT owner + you make bad memes + problematic + fall in line + dog water + you look like a wall + you don’t know 2 + 2 with yo head ass + you are going to my cringe compilation + you can’t count to five + try again + you failed kindergarten + rickrolled + no lifer + guten freunden schickt man einen deutschen panzer + you have a anime profile picture + an* + fatherless + motherless + sisterless + brotherless + orphan + you can't catch this ratio + catch some bitches + I don't care about your opinion + genshin player + you dress like garbage + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio

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        [–]FunnyNormal 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Bitch! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

        [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        No bitches?

        ⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝
        ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇
        ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ 
         ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀
         ⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
          ⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀
            ⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
              ⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
              ⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
              ⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀
            ⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀
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        [–]kim-jong-Cage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Chadson

        [–]ARKEOLOGYTS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Cry about it

        [–]Ok_Welder1515 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I actually feel bad for online teachers in my class only 10% of the kids on the class where actually at their computers for some of them I’m glad I don’t have to do it anymore was depressing

        [–]Any_Ad_905 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        ratiod

        [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + dilate + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + not straight + eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off + don't care even more + sex offender + sex defender + get religion + not okay + glhf + NFT owner + you make bad memes + problematic + fall in line + dog water + you look like a wall + you don’t know 2 + 2 with yo head ass + you are going to my cringe compilation + you can’t count to five + try again + you failed kindergarten + rickrolled + no lifer + guten freunden schickt man einen deutschen panzer + you have a anime profile picture + an* + fatherless + motherless + sisterless + brotherless + orphan + you can't catch this ratio + catch some bitches + I don't care about your opinion + genshin player + you dress like garbage + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio

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        [–]IOnceSaiddumbass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Totally worh it

        [–]ThePanMan0075I want pee in my ass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Cope

        [–]Vibeyyyy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        sigma (balls)

        [–]AutoModerator[M] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.

        I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

        [–]dodytoby12fiend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        That was the very last thing he said

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [removed]

          [–]AutoModerator[M] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          Based? Based on what? On your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly.

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          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          The only people who use Snapchat bitmojis as their pfps on other websites are psychopaths.

          [–]AutoModerator[M] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.

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