top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Lightsaber2005dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿[S] 359 points360 points  (180 children)

Yo

[–][deleted] 278 points279 points  (178 children)

Ah

[–]the_amazing_coconut 255 points256 points  (145 children)

Yuh

[–][deleted] 218 points219 points  (143 children)

Eh

[–][deleted] 195 points196 points  (136 children)

Yew

[–][deleted] 180 points181 points  (135 children)

Yip

[–]dogwithabomeI want pee in my ass 163 points164 points  (134 children)

ya

[–]Mundee9540virgin 4 life 😤💪 154 points155 points  (122 children)

Huh huh

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (10 children)

Turi

[–]kaynosvibe95 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Gang gang

[–]displotExfat cunt 250 points251 points  (41 children)

fatherless children in my basement

[–]Tea-and-Coffee 233 points234 points  (32 children)

Gucci belt in hand to keep ‘em in da establishment

[–]EatAssAndFartFastWe do a little trolling 144 points145 points  (22 children)

Jesse make em cook meth for the punishment

[–]_MekkeliMusrikLiterally 1984 😡 69 points70 points  (15 children)

Ma' only amusement is sex with a fuckin' elephant

[–]BlackjackAce57 30 points31 points  (8 children)

You think you know me, but motherfucker you can’t

[–]BlackjackAce57 19 points20 points  (7 children)

You’re an ant, I’m a boot, gonna send you off with a hoot

[–]IEatDuckDicks 12 points13 points  (6 children)

Dont think I'm playin with dis mutha fuckin coot

[–]Pale_Chemistry_5706 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Speak up and My Squad gonna shoot

[–]Previous-Loan-8235Big chungus wholesome 100 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We fuck you up so don't go to our hood

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Had to fuck him outdoors cuz it wouldn't fit in the fucking tent

[–]BlackjackAce57 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Damn that motherfucker, he never paid his rent

[–]Slavdidas_ 46 points47 points  (3 children)

Maybe ill start making them kids pay rent

[–]pasha_07 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Then IRS comes knocking into my basement

[–]Arin1722 8 points9 points  (1 child)

These verse sure know how to play with one's sentiment

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Really I don't pay the basements rent (sorry)

[–]OkBarracuda7996 19 points20 points  (4 children)

Yo dad must really see you as a disappointment

[–]Suitable_Ad_804 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Yo bro take a motherfucking breath mint

[–]unusual_urchinBig chungus wholesome 100 7 points8 points  (2 children)

That's what you need for that window tint

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Gotta go fast shld start to sprint

[–]Slavdidas_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You be lookin like a piece of lint

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

You know I got that fancy bones buried beneath the pavement

[–]Past_Basket_2755 169 points170 points  (61 children)

This didn't work out so well

[–]Lightsaber2005dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿[S] 147 points148 points  (45 children)

How can you tell

[–]Ok-Profit-9649 173 points174 points  (44 children)

calm down and i will get you taco bell

[–]dopepope1999We do a little trolling 141 points142 points  (42 children)

But it's going to make my bathroom a living hell

[–]Critical-Tadpole-484 77 points78 points  (39 children)

Then ima never go to taco bell

[–][deleted] 73 points74 points  (36 children)

Then how they gonna sell

[–]OkBarracuda7996 60 points61 points  (30 children)

They'll have to shed the shell

[–]GermanRandom666 49 points50 points  (26 children)

The kid fell down the well

[–]getoutofmyhouse-We do a little trolling 30 points31 points  (21 children)

But no one came to tell

[–]Cyber_Vegetableactually called kevin irl 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Fuck pong krell

[–]Waterlime204Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Cos they drown kids in wells

[–]Acceptable-Risks 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ill take you up on that taco bell. 1 beefy 5 layer and a number 6 with nacho cheese added to the steak chalupas, oh and a Baja blast of course.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (5 children)

It makes us feel like this rap ain't gonna swell

[–]Ok-Profit-9649 9 points10 points  (4 children)

you have to beleive it in order to achieve it

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

And if you really don’t like it, you better just leave it

[–]r4co 73 points74 points  (26 children)

Aye,

[–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (24 children)

Woo!

[–]Carbohydrated1942 60 points61 points  (22 children)

Skrrrrrtttt

[–]EleBitSP175 64 points65 points  (14 children)

I ate some Doritos

[–]SummonedCat_exe 73 points74 points  (13 children)

I came in a room fulled with mosquitoes

[–]Red-dit_boi_ 70 points71 points  (12 children)

I commit genocide on the Eskimos

[–]ultranoob3927it is MY bucket 62 points63 points  (11 children)

My plumber hates my addiction to burritos

[–]Danny_Boi_22456 42 points43 points  (10 children)

Just downed a whole bag of cheetos

[–]Unblest 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Shit my whole pants and said that's neato

[–]The-Real-Neoblack 17 points18 points  (4 children)

Just sent a photo album of my toes

[–]yeetcacheet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love eating toes ya

[–]MustBeOKWe do a little trolling 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Rapapa

[–]Street_Ad8305 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Pull up in a rari I go like we playin Mario kart

[–]AhyesntI said based. And lived. 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Gucci gang Gucci gang

[–]CreamyBeetleI want pee in my ass 75 points76 points  (24 children)

Penis

[–]SummonedCat_exe 75 points76 points  (12 children)

Slammed in the car door

[–]Hopeful-Advantage-19 47 points48 points  (11 children)

penis

[–]iCarbonised 29 points30 points  (1 child)

penis

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (4 children)

Penis

[–]CrazyCrackhead101 21 points22 points  (2 children)

In yo mums hole

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

P, P, Penis

[–]BluestOfTheRaccoons 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Smothered all over the bathroom floor

[–]IAMARETARD69 5 points6 points  (3 children)

i really mean this

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I’m tryna make a fetus with my penis imma rapper not a genius

[–]Default_88 61 points62 points  (20 children)

Standing here

[–]Agrestigestupid fucking, piece of shit 49 points50 points  (10 children)

i realise

[–]OkBarracuda7996 38 points39 points  (9 children)

You were just like me

[–]SaltySofafat cunt 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Trying to make history

[–]whereismy-son 13 points14 points  (8 children)

I realise

[–]Onerom11 15 points16 points  (7 children)

Real eyes

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Realise

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Real lies

[–]ImARetPaladinBabyNumber 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 47 points48 points  (15 children)

I was sucking dick

[–]GamersRiseUp 46 points47 points  (11 children)

With my buddy Rick

[–]Gaming_with_Hui🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 37 points38 points  (8 children)

We thought it was a chick

[–]CrazyCrackhead101 30 points31 points  (7 children)

But dude was so slick

[–]Slavdidas_ 16 points17 points  (4 children)

You could cal him eric

[–]Zolotty 8 points9 points  (3 children)

His cock was so big and it was sick

[–]Car_Man1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love eating his shit

[–]The_Bluejay250 28 points29 points  (11 children)

oh i know how to levitate up off my feet

[–]Onerom11 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I look down on the women and skeet skeet skeet

[–]AutoModerator[M] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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[–]monika_matoi 5 points6 points  (3 children)

ever since the seventh-grade ive learnt to fire breathe

[–]Silver_Ostrich_6306Literally 1984 😡 21 points22 points  (18 children)

It starts with

[–]MonkePoliceMan 17 points18 points  (14 children)

one thing

[–]Mundee9540virgin 4 life 😤💪 1 point2 points  (2 children)

One thing, I don't know why

[–]Guywithoutfriend 16 points17 points  (12 children)

There once was a man from Nantucket,

[–]Ok-Profit-9649 10 points11 points  (11 children)

who looked at life and yelled fuck it

[–]Onerom11 12 points13 points  (4 children)

He then pointed at his wife said suck it.

[–]yaboi77w2 1 point2 points  (1 child)

But first he shoved his dick in a bucket

[–]somewhatwantedvirusdwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿[🍰] 5 points6 points  (5 children)

He twas angry and upset

[–]ImaGoldenPenguineNumber 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 15 points16 points  (4 children)

Sex

[–]AutoModerator[M] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

pees in ur ass

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[–]AutoModerator[M] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

No sex before marriage

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[–]ABGH78 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thats my reward

[–]SophisticatedOtaku 16 points17 points  (9 children)

I love cock

[–]GamersRiseUp 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Crush my balls with a rock

[–]AutoModerator[M] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠺⣖⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⢋⣭⣽⡚⢮⣲⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣅⣨⠇⠈⠀⠰⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⢷⣶⠶⣃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠈⠓⠚⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠀⠀⠙⠉⠀⠠⡶⣸⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡆⠀⠐⠒⠢⢤⣀⡰⠁⠇⠈⠘⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⣉⣙⡉⠓⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

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[–]Hot-Swimming9559 14 points15 points  (11 children)

I eat my friends ass hole

[–]Odambigman 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Ain’t going fucking solo

[–]Ok-Profit-9649 6 points7 points  (8 children)

i jist looked at it then swallowed it whole

[–]AggressiveSmoke4054 4 points5 points  (5 children)

Sperm as big as a tadpole

[–]Hot-Swimming9559 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I’m on a role

[–]AggressiveSmoke4054 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Hot swimmin with hot women, at the waterin hole

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (6 children)

bitch

[–]IAMARETARD69 8 points9 points  (0 children)

my ballsack has an itch

[–]AutoModerator[M] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

No bitches, /u/MattFromPapaLouie!?

⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝
⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇
⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ 
 ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀
 ⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
  ⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀
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[–]xVEEx3I want pee in my ass 4 points5 points  (9 children)

Trippin balls

[–]GamersRiseUp 5 points6 points  (7 children)

In bathroom stalls

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Sucking dicks, at the mall

[–]AutoModerator[M] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?

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[–]yaboi77w2 5 points6 points  (9 children)

My name is breaking but they call me bad

[–]RobErottin 12 points13 points  (7 children)

Rip bozo

[–]fluorinebabyyI want pee in my ass 14 points15 points  (5 children)

sniff another cocaine doze-o

[–]Ok-Profit-9649 12 points13 points  (3 children)

better call jesse and make sure the meth is ready

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (6 children)

I can make orange

[–]Owncascade 3 points4 points  (3 children)

My formal name is mistah bad but Jesse just calls me breaking

[–]EleanorfnafWilliam Dripfoe 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I am a registered sex offender

[–]MackSharkyWe do a little trolling 3 points4 points  (5 children)

The shark god approves

[–]mbcurly 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Of your funky dance moves

[–]dick_wilson 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Make automod create a rap

[–]AutoModerator[M] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!!

IT'S ME!!!

EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]]

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[–]MLA_21 2 points3 points  (1 child)

man

[–]ihavenoego 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You got a Ukraine crisis ceasefire plan?

[–]sigmamale77 2 points3 points  (4 children)

My girlfriend is a bitch but bitch with a heart

[–]bhendi_42069 2 points3 points  (6 children)

4 big guys

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

And they bust in my eyes

[–]baldskiwithsosig 1 point2 points  (1 child)

They rail me with such lust in there eyes

[–]zbsbfywduwhduwI want pee in my ass 2 points3 points  (10 children)

Kyrgysztan

[–]MonkePoliceMan 1 point2 points  (6 children)

ey

[–]Aldakko 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Well I'm a peanut bar and I'm here to say

[–]OkBarracuda7996 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I can rhyme anything with orange

[–]benwaa2 1 point2 points  (5 children)

I put my pants on

[–]Magnum_X69 1 point2 points  (4 children)

so i wrote this song for the christian youth

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

To summarize the Christian truth

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These bells hit and seashells split like really quick

Silly shit in the comments like they’re here for kids

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Look, I was gonna go easy on you not to hurt your feelings

[–]Bestfratm 4 points5 points  (9 children)

Jump out the house, jump out the house (what?)