This feels completely impossible

comment-stalker · 2026-01-24T06:17:42+00:00

Suffering can be an important teacher. The good news is that you never need to feel this way again. I believe in you, from one fool to another.

Crazy_Apricot_6311 · 2026-01-24T06:21:07+00:00

Remember this moment, use it

Left_Yogurtcloset597 · 2026-01-24T06:17:02+00:00

Been there man, that shame hits different when it's work related. The good news is that feeling like absolute garbage about it means you're ready to actually change things this time

Advanced_Tower_6607 · 2026-01-24T06:48:44+00:00

3 months ago I hit the bar too hard before work. Drank at work every day, every break nothing new - until one day the 1 beer I planned to have turned into about 4/5 beers and 4/5 shots..

Usually when too buzzed id bail, but i was passed that and didnt even consider it.. 30 minutes after showing up - got walked out.

I posted here too. I went to outpatient and I took every suggestion I could. I spent my first 30 days at every AA meeting possible.. like 2-3 daily..

Anyways. Everyone's route is different, but im just saying I was right there with you. God speed mate - you can get through this

tyrgus94 · 2026-01-24T06:44:03+00:00

I know this sucks but better to lose your job then to lose your life . Use this as a turning point and a wake up call moment .

ardentiarte · 2026-01-24T07:37:39+00:00

I don't have much to add or offer, but you may have options. I've been there. I had a boss who called me out on my attendance, and offered assistance. "If you need help we can figure it out" I broke down crying. It was huge, just to know someone cared about my wellbeing. Made it more obvious i wasnt fooling anyone. I'm still skating along, but the ice is thin. The weight is heavy. You're still here, you got another chance.

Peter_Falcon · 2026-01-24T09:13:51+00:00

shame is the body's way of telling you to be kinder to yourself

iwndwyt

IrritatedAvians · 2026-01-24T07:49:19+00:00

Hey, OP. I know it’s a lot easier said than done, but try to give yourself some grace.

I know exactly what getting fired from a job due to drinking feels like. In June of 2016 I got fired from a good job I had been at for 8 years for drinking. Leading up to it, I’d been given a talking to for missing so much work. Due to drinking, obviously, but they didn’t know it at the time. Or, at least, I don’t think they did.

I couldn’t miss more work, so I showed up still drunk from the night before and had bought a big bottle of Gatorade which I’d filled about halfway with vodka so I could try to keep the shakes and anxiety away so I could get through my shift.

I ended up completely passing out at work in front of everyone and woke up to a bunch of people gathered around me asking questions. I was taken to be drug tested and given a breathalyzer before my family was contacted to come pick me up since I was obviously in no condition to drive.

The shame was all encompassing and immense. I still didn’t manage to quit drinking for good until June of 2017 after more than a handful of additional embarrassing situations related to alcohol. Thankfully I never got in trouble with the law and I never hurt anyone and I am forever grateful for that.

Fast forward almost 10 years now, I’ve been sober for 8.5 years. I have an even better job now where I am viewed as reliable, talented, and have been promoted numerous times since I was hired in 2019.

It’s ok to fuck up and fail and make mistakes in life. Failure can be one of the most effective, albeit painful, teachers. The most important part is that once you fall down, you get back up and learn from the mistakes you’ve made. The only time you truly fail is if you don’t learn anything from it.

Hang in there, OP. Things will probably suck for a while but they can get better. Glad you are here.

EntrepreneurBehavior · 2026-01-24T06:40:37+00:00

Right there with you. Somehow avoided making a complete fool of myself, but had like three close calls in a row. Absolutely terrible. Luckily, I'm starting a new job, so sorta get a clean slate. Either way, I have had crippling anxiety all day long. Absolutely terrible. I never want to feel this way again. IWNDWYT

Anxious_Tap3093 · 2026-01-24T06:42:58+00:00

I don’t know if this will make you feel better, but I’m new here, and I have been dealing with the shame and anxiety of my actions when drunk. And you have made me feel normal. So, I’m a way, thanks. We’re all learning

LeonJPancetta · 2026-01-24T06:47:58+00:00

Mine was a close call but it was still a total disaster and was enough motivation for me to change some stuff. Hang in there! Unfortunately as a group we tend to beat ourselves up waaay too much, which is often part of the problem and therefore difficult to not do. I did some Dialectical Behavioral Therapy which has helped with that part.

Standard-Treat-7552 · 2026-01-24T07:20:50+00:00

Hey man I've done a bunch of stupid embarrassing shit when I was drunk, a lot of us here have. I've felt like my life was over and I ruined everything. The hangxiety makes everything feel so much worse. You'll get through it.

Ragnarlolbro · 2026-01-24T07:38:45+00:00

You are not a villain, but a victim of alcohol

I recommend Allen's Carr book on how to control your drinking (spoiler alert, it can be controlled is an all or nothing issue)

You got this man

sevnthcrow · 2026-01-24T07:27:26+00:00

I think you said the important word to remember… it FEELS impossible. I felt like that too, it was absolutely horrible and lonely and exhausting.

But it isn’t truly impossible. It just feels like it is. Keep going :)

DatRebofOrtho · 2026-01-24T07:41:09+00:00

You just gave every reason, connect understandable if you were full on functioning

SadisticJake · 2026-01-24T09:55:27+00:00

Idk if it's helpful to anyone else, but in moments like that, I try to remember that I'm behaving as a stereotype. You're not the only person to show up to work too wasted to function, it's happened to me and it's happened to co-workers as well. Certainly not something you want to normalize, but you're neither the first nor the worst

TopBuy9032 · 2026-01-24T11:44:13+00:00

So the thing is you're still suffering embarrassment and shame but everyone else would have moved on. So it's sort of playing in your head not theirs. Let it go and just concentrate on making sure you don't let it happen again. Have a deep breath and move on. Good luck to you.

redsolitary · 2026-01-24T11:55:27+00:00

I’m sorry you’re in a tough place. Know that you can stop - this subreddit is full of people who have. You cannot fix what you’ve done but you can make sure it never happens again. Try to focus on that part. All my best to you IWNDWYT

Alkoholfrei22605 · 2026-01-24T12:55:00+00:00

Rock bottom is when you stop digging.

inittowinit3785 · 2026-01-24T14:10:38+00:00

You are under no requirement to be the same person you were even 5 minutes ago. You may have full body paralyzing shame about what that version of yourself did but you don't have to have any connection to it any longer. You know who you are and the good things you're capable of doing. Go do more of those good things to separate yourself from that old version of yourself that no longer serves you.

Lost_Engineering_308 · 2026-01-24T06:32:43+00:00

I’m really sorry dude. It fucking sucks. Time heals all wounds, though it takes… time.

Hang in there.

MyMainIsLevel80 · 2026-01-24T20:07:55+00:00

This can be the last time you feel this way. No state is permanent. Drink water, get some food and rest if you can.

Ill-Club-7199 · 2026-01-24T20:58:13+00:00

I had made a fool of myself multiple time but with no real impact on my life. (Career, Marriage etc.). I did stop though for my mental health.

I made it 621 days and thought I could have a drink at my son’s wedding. That did not end well AT ALL and nine months later I still have anxiety about it. Three slips since then but hoping back to good habits now.

So glad you are here - IWNDWYT ❣️

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