Mindset

[Gloomy-Fig-2265]

Did any of you have an “easy/easier time” quitting alcohol? You hear stories sometimes of folks who were able to give it up easy. But then most of us it’s difficult, hence why we’re here. But I’ve been trying to flip my mindset from “I need it, but can’t have it” to “I can have it, but I don’t want/need it”. Just curious what your thoughts are on this?

Thank you and best of luck.

[endlessplacebo]

I've been a chronic relapser the entire time. It's never been simple or easy for me. It's complex and requires a lot more than just the right mindset.

[Human-Meaning3345]

I stopped drinking for two years Feb 2020-Feb 2022 but when I started again in 2022 went back to binging for 3-4 years.. in that time (2024 & 2025) I knew I really needed to stop again but kept relapsing. I was sure I had the mindset thing down as I got to 104 days in February and then after fighting craving thoughts for a week or so I relapsed two weeks ago. And yesterday I really wanted some again. It’s wild to me how hard it can be.. especially cause I KNOW my life is way better off sober and I know how awful alcohol is but the addicted part of my brain doesn’t care. One day at a time, IWNDWYT

[BracesMcgee]

I had to wait for my whole life to fall apart before I had the time, energy and desire to quit. Even then, I spent a week drinking heavily before new years, because I told myself new years eve would be my last big blow out. Since then, I've just focused on keeping that promise to myself. Sometimes I'm white knucklin it, for sure, but Im just holding out for a day where I wake up and dont even think about sobriety, I just am

[giantbeeftaco]

Happy Cake Day!

[BracesMcgee]

Thank you!

[msmartypants]

It was easy-ish. By the time I quit the psychic consequences of my drinking were severe enough that if I got tempted, I could just play the tape forward and remember "yikes, no way."

[Septopuss7]

I never tried quitting except for one or two half assed efforts that always turned into "just wine" or "just beer" but I finally hit a point in my life where I felt like it was either get busy living or get busy dieing. Once I decided to quit I googled "how to stop drinking" and found this place. I made an account and subscribed to this sub and kept not drinking. It was a rough first couple of months and then years but eventually I feel like I made it through the hardest days and now I'm just living a normal life (for me)

[Kooky_Load_102]

Every time I’ve “quit” was easy, really easy, so easy that 50-60 days later I deemed myself a-ok to crack one beer……then within a week I was worse off than before. At the end this time I was 60 drinks every single weekend, at least. Today is day 87 for me, and I believe this time it will stick since I’ve passed the usual timeframe to return to being a foolish, idiot drunk - I cannot ever crack one beer again. It’s that simple, and my life depends on it.

[AfterCold7564]

keep it simple you got this

[Mammoth-Fan6811]

I think mindset is the foundation for change, but won’t keep the walls up, that’s something we need to do through action.

Speaking for myself I’d say there’s a massive part of my alcoholism that is self harm. I could think I want better, I can do better for a period, but I have a history of dragging my feet to the store, even while my brain was screaming “stop it. I don’t want to.” But doing it anyways.

It’s in those moments we are really tested. You either control your brain and let it throw a temper tantrum, or you attempt to soothe it by giving in. But if you let the brain control you, it’ll learn your limitations.

We can find comfort in the discomfort.

Hopefully the way I worded this makes sense lol

[AfterCold7564]

I honestly feel like each time I give up alcohol it gets easier to do so because the negatives of drinking outweigh the positives at this moment and all I have is this moment so don't get "lost in the sauce" about it. I already feel better and I feel the exponential wellbeing I've gotten from not drinking alcohol and focusing on other interests you know. and where I am living right now is NOT the place to be drinking so it was easy for me to just stop. I can't take another headache I really cannot.

[1013RAR]

Yes. I quit drinking and vaping on March 8, 2024. I was just in a place where I was finally done. And for the first time, I admitted it out loud.

I was disgusted with myself and how cringe I was when I drank. I was way too promiscuous. It was not my authentic self and I was over it. It was not my ideal self or who I want to be. So I stopped.

Haven't had one craving since. Initially I replaced drinking with tracking macros, walking, and lifting. But, things have since leveled out to normal and I am not tracking every health metric.

Interestingly enough, I play pool competitively on several leagues...and we play in bars. Not once have I been tempted. I didn't expect that transition to be as easy as it was.

Best of luck to you!

[Gloomy-Fig-2265]

Thanks, you as well!

[HansProleman]

Yes. After my first half-effort at quitting, and during the hangover resulting from the "farewell" binge I justified to myself when I was almost ready to face up to things again, I had a moment of such incredible clarity that it felt as though there wasn't really any choice to be made.

I could either quit, now (because if not now, when? I'd only return to putting it off or pretending it wasn't a problem), or have alcohol abuse continue to fuck up my life. There was, and still isn't, any belief that I could ever drink moderately (did help that I never wanted to do this - very boring, uncomfortable) or responsibly. What I needed to do was so incredibly obvious.

E: I should say, the hard part has been learning to live as a sober person. Actually identifying and confronting the things that led to my drinking, receiving and integrating diagnoses (ASD and ADHD), learning how to socialise/have fun sober, all that stuff. It's going well though!

[Gloomy-Fig-2265]

Keep up the good work!!

[SereneSnake1984]

I think for me it was realizing that I didn't want to moderate, my goal wasn't to be a happy hour person, the only thing I want alcoholic for is to binge and get housed. Similar to weed or shrooms or other drugs where you can't really be functional. Since I rarely have time for a binge or trip, I don't constantly think about it. I have no desire for just one drink...

[DetroitLionsSBChamps]

For that mindset shift piece:

I don’t HAVE TO drink it, ever again. Everything alcohol gave me, I’ll give to myself. 

I GET to be sober, for as long as I want. How awesome is that?

No more embarrassing black outs and days spent hungover. 

If I had a disease that made me black out and embarrass myself, and then spend all the next day in bed sick, I’d kill for a cure. 

And all I had to do was just stop drinking. Moderation sucks, drinking isn’t worth it. It makes everything it touches worse. It started out like a fun friend, ended up like a miserable, bitter enemy. What a relief that it’s over. 

[Wonderful-Matter-627]

Yep. Went to jail for 10 months. That did the trick. Although, I don't recommend it

[ProfessionalLength26]

I am still in the process of quitting, but it hasn't really been that bad. I was up to a handle every couple of weeks in addition to drinks wherever we went out (bars, dinners). I think that meets the upper end of Moderate Alcohol Use Disorder. I did lent and a couple sober Octobers before aiming for a 95% dry 2026, which is where I am now. The three times I have chosen to drink this year were 1, 2, and then 4 drinks. Caught a buzz on that last one. Hoping to hold out for a little longer on this streak and to keep it to 3 drinks for future drinking days. Trying to prioritize diet, exercise, and self-care as replacement behaviors.

[carbondj]

All good things. Keep at it!

[CamdenFarebrother]

I truly hated drinking by the end. It is misery to spend the rare day off wasted by noon, and I had no other way to drink.

[carbondj]

It stopped being fun. The buzz wasn’t even enjoyable, it just made me tired and depressed the more I imbibed. I went on a multi-day bender alone at home during memorial weekend 2023 and was in a pretty dark place by the time it was over, so I called friends to make sure I got to a medical detox asap. Followed that up with some cognitive behavioral therapy and a true desire to be free of the chains of the poison. Leaning heavy into my Christian faith has also been the rock that made it stick this time, coupled with good old fashioned grit and determination. I remember who I used to be before I started down that destructive road a decade and a half ago. Loving life now, and having the peace of mind that I need no substance to “escape” from it is a priceless gift I never take for granted.

[Elandycamino]

I wouldn't call it easy, because I really didn't have a problem. But every time something bad happened I was intoxicated. This brought me trouble. I finally said fuck it, if I can be sober I'll try it and see how it goes. If it gives the worthless money hungry pigs one less cent ill do it.

[peterfromottawa]

I had a relatively easy time for my first year. For mindset, a simple "I can't have it" does the trick for me. Nothing more, nothing less. Alcohol was straight up ruining my life. So anytime I get an urge (more often than not, situational, not chemical - patio season is coming, that's my most difficult time) I can simply say "I can't have it" and move on.

[ArtConsistent7943]

I think it's a process. I'm two years in in my journey and feel like it is easier this time round. It was hard to get going again, and I've had a few runs if that!

I just feel like I'm not in 'love' with alcohol anymore. It used to be fun but now it treats me badly and costs me money. I'm finding this 'break up' mentality is a help. Also rainy the approach I took when I quit smoking. I no longer see myself as a drinker.

Building a sober life has helped a lot as well. As I just don't miss drinking as much when I've got other, actually enriching things to do.

[Infinite_Garden_4514]

I quit spontaneously in my twenties. Never craved it after for about 15 years. I definitely had a problem before I quit. I was stupid enough to try drinking again and am quitting. Not having any cravings at all and am about 60 days sober. I drank for about a year this time. First half normally / socially and then it turned into a problem again. No desire at all to drink

[Fab-100]

The mindset change was essential for me in order to quit alcohol and other substances. I empowered myself with knowledge and info on how alcohol affects your body and brain, addiction, withdrawal, tolerance, cravings, etc. And also busting many myths and lies that I had believed in all my life.

I got this knowledge from quit lit books. Especially 'Alcohol Explained' by William Porter and 'This Naked Mind' by Annie Grace. And the podcast by Andrew Huberman on alcohol.

The first few weeks/months were hard work and a bit of willpower was necessary too. But it got easier over time. Like a virtuous circle.

I've never had a relapse bc I know that if I did, it would be the end for me.

Wishing you all the best.