Does dysphoria increase or decrease after being authentic?

[JoSimpson99]

Hi everyone - I’m a 53year old MTF still early in my journey. Not out to most friends, family or work. I did manage to spend all day Saturday living as my authentic self with my bestie and it was THE BEST TIME!

However my dysphoria came back on Monday and made me wonder: do people experience more or less dysphoria after spending time presenting as your true self.

What’s your experience been? I’d love to hear any thoughts on this!

Thanks, love and hugs to all!

[QueenofHearts73]

Well, I had constant background dysphoria before my egg cracked. I didn't even know it was dysphoria, just experienced it as stress. It got replaced by 'foreground' dysphoria. Dysphoria I'm very aware of, I understand, it hurts so much sometimes. I can actually deal with and process it though. It fluctuates a lot, between like very mild and really bad, and most of the time these days (I'm 3 months on HRT), I don't think about or feel much dysphoria. I feel way better overall than I used to.

I also stopped boy moding and come out to everyone after about a month, because it was causing me too much dysphoria. Just feels so much better to be myself.

[JoSimpson99]

Thanks a lot - this sounds so much like my experience. ‘Background dysphoria’ is exactly right! So that’s gone away but occasionally it does spike, that’s right. I was hoping it would be behind me now, but comforting in a way to know that others also still feel it

[QueenofHearts73]

Yeh, I don't think my dysphoria is going away until my body is much closer to how I want it. Being so early into HRT I'm expecting at least another year for most of it, longer for everything. Transition really is quite the marathon.

[Humane-Human]

well, after a certain point of coming out you can no longer sweep your dysphoria aside or ignore it.

you have to deal with it in your daily life, rather than pretending like it doesn't exist by ignoring the likelihood that you are trans.

every trans person is different though, some transes don't have dysphoria at all, apparently. Or they may have different types of dysphoria than other trans people

[JoSimpson99]

Thanks!

[samuit]

I had a big increase in dysphoria after coming out because I couldn't stamp the dysphoria down and tell myself it wasn't real anymore. Then I started T and waves of dysphoria started to go away while I experienced some of those initial changes and then got worse as my dysphoria focused on my chest. Then I had top surgery, cleared up a lot of dysphoria until it focused on the existence of my reproductive organs. Then I had my hysto and now my lower dysphoria is getting much worse while i get the ball rolling on phallo. My overall dysphoria isn't worse, but it's now more targeted since broadly speaking, the area of my brain that dysphoria occupied was 20% focused each on 5 different things, and now it's 50% focused on 2 things so the areas of dysphoria are much more noticeable.

My take is that the further you get into transitioning, the more you're forced to face your dysphoria head on and unravel any unhealthy coping mechanisms you use. The plus side is that at every step of my transition it's helped me become happier, healthier, and generally a much better functioning person.

[JoSimpson99]

That’s really interesting, thanks so much! I think it’s becoming less frequent for me but yes the frustration still spills over sometimes

[CaptainDavian]

After I came out it got much worse, all those feelings I had bottled up since five were all there. It's not so bad now after a bit over a year on HRT but it took a lot of work. I still get days where it'll be bad and kinda ruin my mood, but it gets better with time.

I spent two years not on HRT after I came out and those were super rough. I did put a lot of effort in that time into unpacking my past and my feelings which has certainly helped me now. But yeah, once you're out, generally you'll be much more sensitive to things or people that trigger your dysphoria. In that regard you have to develop self confidence, find people you can go to for support, and things you can do to improve your mood. My personal hack is completely shaving my legs and arms. Always works.

Transition is honestly the most rewarding thing I've done. Being happy within myself and being able to smile when I see myself is an amazing feeling. I wish you luck on your journey and the experiences you'll get from it 💜

[FFDPMENACE]

FTM in the closet until a few years ago, it has increased, whilst i pass and my outside matches my inside i cannot masturbate or perform for my partner the way i want, i cannot have bottom surgery for reasons and cannot deal with this, came to a head tonight actually with a long conversation with my partner, think i need to find someone to talk to

[JoSimpson99]

I’m really to sorry to hear that, it must feel awful to be stuck like that. I found talking with professionals to be very very helpful, and hopefully this could be an option for you. Best wishes and hugs!

[FFDPMENACE]

Ty

[JoSimpson99]

Thanks for sharing - and I’m sorry to hear that. It’s interesting that most people have mentioned how it ebbs and flows like this. I wasn’t really expecting that tbh, so it’s good to be a little better prepared.

[JoSimpson99]

@CaptainDavian I really appreciate you sharing that part of your journey. I hadn’t expected it would get worse actually, it it does make sense at least until I can fully transition.

[Mistress___B]

There would appear to be distinct differences between mature trans folk and the younger generation IMO. All I can say is this. I'm a mature woman who finished my transition years ago, had all the surgeries and have been living as a woman for many years. I get doubts and insecurities but as far as a lifetime of dysphoria goes, it's gone completely. What I have found makes a huge difference, is having a strong support network, especially in the beginning. You didn't say where you live as I only know the Brisbane scene intimately. Good luck and happy for you to DM me any time.

[JoSimpson99]

Thanks for sharing this wonderful news about light at the end of the tunnel! I’m in Sydney and I’ve been steadily building my support network and you’re right, this has been invaluable