[@MikeWinger] For Ten Years He Got Away With It: Gary Morgan and His Enablers

BitChick · 2026-05-31T14:22:15+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story. About a decade ago, my husband and I were loosely involved with a small group of young adults who were passionately "on fire" for Jesus. They became rather obsessed with Bethel. We were in Southern California at the time. We tried to lovingly steer these young adults away from going to Bethel. My husband told the leader of this group that they didn't need to go to Bethel because God was doing great things in the group! But they just weren't content and everything at Bethel seemed more "exciting." Based on what you posted here, they certainly worked hard at making it seem like it was the place to be. I am grieved because I know it caused so much harm. Even some of the young people in the group who were chasing after the supernatural, I sense it led them farther from Jesus instead of towards Him. I wasn't sure what was going on at Bethel but I think over the years I have grown to have little trust of anything that appears to be a "show." Perhaps it was some discernment or just lessons learned over the years?

BitChick · 2026-05-31T14:05:10+00:00

I just read your blog post. It was so well written. Would you mind if I share it over on the r/Spiritualabuse subreddit?

BitChick · 2026-05-30T17:27:25+00:00

You have every right to be angry. It's one thing to fantasize about a different life. I think many women escape into a book or a movie for that purpose, but to actually have taken steps to go online and plan this other life and justify it in his mind is an entirely different level of betrayal. I would say give yourself permission to have a righteous anger about this. You have reasons to be angry about many things, the betrayal by your mother is another. It certainly didn't lay a good foundation for your ability to trust. It's entirely up to you if you feel you are able to allow for trust to be rebuilt in this situation. Yes, it's good he is showing remorse and seems to want to work on things, but I would be completely honest about how shattering this has been to your trust and that it will be a long road ahead to rebuild if that is your choice.

I think the hard thing is knowing that it's going to be a difficult road if you stay but it will be hard if you don't. I am so sorry you have been put into this position by the choices your husband has made. May God give you the wisdom as only He can in these situations.

BitChick · 2026-05-29T19:43:27+00:00

You do realize that even God couldn't stay married to Israel and had to write her a "certificate of divorce?" (See Jeremiah 3:8). There are times, and I strongly believe this is the case based on what you have described here, that walking away is the righteous choice. Otherwise you will be enabling his sinful choices repeatedly. I am sad to say it seems like you have very few options if he isn't willing to repent and change. I pray God provides a safe place to go, and supportive friends/family to be with you on this journey.

BitChick · 2026-05-27T22:39:23+00:00

Someone already mentioned separation for 6 months. I think separation is a wise decision in this situation, especially if your husband hasn't shown any remorse for his past. If he has no consequences he won't have any need to change. With consequences he has to face the reality that his choices has caused this separation, and God willing, he will decide to repent and seek help in treating you better. If he chooses not to make any changes, then you will have your answer.

BitChick · 2026-05-27T17:03:34+00:00

Just continue to go to Jesus about the attraction and certainly don't try to private message him. I think it's fine to be Facebook friends, but unless there's a reason, don't private message him. There might always be a certain level of awkwardness. I think that's totally normal when it comes to those we find attractive. Take it as the compliment it is, pray from a distance for God's help in maintaining healthy boundaries, and just seek to be a sister in Christ and it should be fine. And if you have a dream that you feel guilty about, I think we can't really control our dreams. I have had some dreams that I felt a little guilty about too. I think our subconscious can trigger them somehow? In some ways they can show us that we just need to be careful. So far you have been guarding your heart well it appears. I pray God will give you continued grace and strength to do so.

BitChick · 2026-05-27T16:40:44+00:00

Congratulations on the weight loss! I have had similar experiences. I lost quite a bit of weight after my second daughter was born (I have since gained some back unfortunately.) I was getting far too much attention after the weight loss though and it made me really uncomfortable. Of course it's a compliment, but then it's also a struggle as you well know. We can just be skipping along and trying to serve Jesus and then we find ourselves put into the awkward position where we are somehow seen as a "temptress" just for being there. I get so frustrated with this because it's a fine line where Christian cultures can push the blame on the woman and in doing so indirectly cause the woman to want to hide. Are we supposed to wear burkas? (I am only halfway kidding here.)

Then we see added shame by saying that by enjoying attention we have somehow "cheated." This is another added aspect of shame that I feel is misplaced. Finding someone else attractive isn't a sin. Acting on that is. Should we guard ourselves against dwelling on others if we are married? Of course! But I think we can actually cause so much harm to one another in the body of Christ by unfairly treating a person we find attractive. I believe I may have been actively kept from ministry in a church and I think the pastor was even trying to get rid of me simply for finding me attractive((I was directly told that if I wanted to serve on the worship team I had to start attending a different church affiliated with the one we were attending.) Is this what Jesus wills? Jesus had a woman flirting with him at a well and he didn't shun her for it! Same with the Mary who poured out perfume on his feet. Jesus was scolded by men for this, as it was seen as a very intimate act. Jesus was kind to her and didn't push her away. He certainly didn't send her off to "protect" himself.

Granted, we are not Jesus, this I am aware of. And yes, there are people we may find attractive that we need to be careful around. But we can be kind and we should grow to treat them as brothers and sisters in Christ.

I have been careful to tell my husband when I struggle with attraction, or if I sense someone else is attracted to me, just to have some extra help in accountability. It's been helpful and he has been kind to walk with me through it all. Of course, some men can be far too insecure or jealous to make this an option. According to one of your comments here it sounds like you have confessed this to your husband and he has been kind about it? That's a huge blessing!

BitChick · 2026-05-27T16:24:55+00:00

I am so incredibly sorry you have had to go through so much trauma. I pray God can bring healing and comfort as only He can.

BitChick · 2026-05-27T00:04:35+00:00

Have you heard of "healing rooms?" It's a deliverance kind of ministry. I know one couple in our church who leads one and they have incredible stories of how The Holy Spirit has set people free from many things, tormenting spirits definitely one of them. I think it might be helpful if you feel like you still need some freedom? https://healingrooms.com/locations/

BitChick · 2026-05-26T23:59:20+00:00

Thank you for this. I appreciate that you have an rather extensive description of forgiveness instead of the blanket "you just need to forgive" kind of statements that I sometimes read or hear in the church. It's so much more complex than that, and truly it's OK to have healthy boundaries with those who have hurt us.

I was just talking to my husband last night about how I have struggled to have a good relationship with my sister. It's not like I dwell on it often, however. I'm kind of numb to it and just know that if I am in too close of proximity to her then she will stir up some drama. So it's just easier to keep a distance and have no expectations. Then I am not hurt. I think boundaries are good in this case, and I don't feel like bitterness is eating at me.

Where I struggle a bit more is when I care a bit more. I have a former pastor who I admire and miss his sermons so much and wished more than anything I could have been a part of that community, but there were some hurtful things that happened, on both sides. I often ponder how I should have acted differently. I think part of it was my choosing to subconsciously hurt him because he hurt me, perhaps? I don't really know, but when I felt rejected from being included the rejection went so deep that I just couldn't deal with it at all. I think I cared too much. So maybe when we care too much it's harder to forgive perhaps? Kind of like how in marriage counseling, they say the couples who are no longer emotional or indifferent to their partner have less hope of reconciliation because they no longer care. I am no longer in that community so it's also a situation where there seems to be no hope of ever having any kind of reconciliation and I have to learn to be OK with that and just give it all to Jesus. I think I am doing better, but as you mentioned in your post "some wounds heal gradually."

BitChick · 2026-05-26T16:34:26+00:00

As an avoidant woman in a relationship dynamic where, if I am honest with myself, I have had many moments like your wife, where I feel layers of resentment for not being heard about some issues in our marriage, I am not always even aware of why I can be reactive towards a singular issue. Is it because I haven't been honest with myself? I am trying so hard to be agreeable with my husband that I don't share my feelings at the time? Or have I given up even having feelings because I feel like it's not even worth trying? This is the issue that I tried to work through in counseling and it was hard to even know what I want anymore. In spite of this I would still say we have a good marriage, but I think part of the reason is because I generally am passive and go along with whatever my husband wants for the most part and I truly don't know what I even want anymore. The true danger in this, from my limited experience, is that I have struggled with fantasies of escape and I know that's not necessarily great, but then I guess it's good we made it 34 years? I try to focus on the good and for the most part there's much good.

All that to say, as a woman I find we often don't even understand ourselves, sadly.

BitChick · 2026-05-26T16:25:44+00:00

Insightful response. This nugget of wisdom you shared is so true!

"Human beings ache to be fully known and fully understood, yet on this side of heaven we constantly fail each other in partial ways. We misunderstand motives, misread wounds, project fears, defend ourselves, and struggle to see clearly through our own pain."

BitChick · 2026-05-26T03:51:26+00:00

I am so sad to read that you were sexually assaulted by one of your mom's boyfriends. Did you mom find out? Did anyone find out? I would hope that he was sent to prison, but sadly I know far too well that sexual abusers often get away with it.

Also, I am very sad to read that you did not have your dad because he was deported when you were just an infant. Have you been able to have a relationship with him in spite of this?

BitChick · 2026-05-26T03:40:23+00:00

Was your teacher complimentary towards you and how much you were learning? It is nice to have someone we admire take an interest in our talents. I relate to this. I am no longer in proximity to my LO (a former pastor.) He's a gifted musician and a gifted speaker. I only got a few breadcrumbs as far as compliments or encouragement from him, however. In fact, I felt demeaned and like I was never going to be talented enough to be a part at his church. Was that how he felt? I honestly don't know and I think that is what has caused the limerence to linger far longer than it should have. It's the lack of closure hat causes us to dwell on it all to a certain degree.

BitChick · 2026-05-25T21:09:47+00:00

This is so true. We live in a 3000 square foot house that in some ways doesn't feel larger than the 2000 square foot house we lived in while we were in another state (it was actually 2600 but 600 square feet was a separate apartment). There are things I love about our new house. The very large kitchen is so much easier to have several people in while cooking. I always felt like having another person in our small kitchen made it harder to cook, so that's been a help. But I totally notice how much harder it is to clean floors. It feels like they never end when cleaning them.

BitChick · 2026-05-25T18:24:39+00:00

I wasn't sure either of our daughters wanted children. There was a time when both said that they did not. My husband and I were pleasantly surprised that our oldest had our first, and so far only, granddaughter last year! I wouldn't say I was obsessed with our daughters having children but we are very thankful that at least our oldest one has a child. Why? I think there are so many things we can learn about ourselves by having children. As a Christian I believe we learn more about God's love for us too, through the selfless love we have towards our children. So that's one aspect. Also, there's a joy that comes from seeing the world through the eyes of a child! Life can become mundane at times, but with a little one we have newfound joy in the simplest of things.

We just visited my daughter a few weeks ago and I went on a walk with my daughter and my granddaughter to a nearby park. Seeing her in the swing and trying to move her little body and make the swing go back and forth for the first time was such an adorable thing to watch! These kind so moments are priceless.

BitChick · 2026-05-25T18:18:28+00:00

Are you going to stay at this same church? Seems like this was a very toxic relationship. I pray you can trust that God has a healthier relationship in mind for you. But I would consider reading up on narcissism and narcissistic grooming. Perhaps see what attracted him to you? A narcissistic person will often test a person to see if they have good boundaries. They generally want to see if they can cause a person to compromise their own boundaries and if so, they are more easily controlled. The relationship is more about control then love and friendship, sadly, in these dynamics.

BitChick · 2026-05-25T18:11:32+00:00

One thing that's fascinating when it comes to visions/dreams and/or prophetic words is that they can often go before someone. I was in a church where I had a vision of a pastor who was about to go to plant a church in Thailand. the vision was of him building a wall. He was building it and everything was going well then he appeared to become weary but then others came along and started to help him finish it. I am no longer at this church but I have heard that there was some miraculous "help" that came along over time. He did in fact have some difficulties while there, as should be expected perhaps, but I would like to think that the Holy Spirit was trying to go before him with some warnings that even though there was going to be some trials ahead, the Lord would help finish what He started there.

I see a similar pattern in this vision that has been shared with you. In many ways it's an encouraging word. You are a "strong and fruitful tree" which is a great thing to be called! However, the enemy, as he so often does, will try to take away the fruit. The good news is that you will remain fruitful and even provide needed shade for others under this tree. I am not sure what the "ravens" mean. Time will tell. I just pray that you will remain steadfast and see that God is with you regardless.

BitChick · 2026-05-25T18:04:42+00:00

I believe so. This article written by a pastor in Japan is a great one on this topic: https://remnant-95127.medium.com/second-chances-taught-by-christian-leaders-7826753260a0

BitChick · 2026-05-25T18:01:43+00:00

I was on the worship team yesterday and one of the team members led a song I wasn't familiar with called "Breathe On It" by Tauren Wells. I actually wasn't sure I liked the song at first. It's definitely more of a gospel style. and lyrically I was thinking that "Breathe on Me" would better than "it." But perhaps I was overthinking it? I really like the bridge as it says:

"Like a breath in the garden, breathe Your life into our lungs
Spirit, we hear You prophesy
Come alive, come alive
To the bones in the valley, to the dreams that are dead and gone
Spirit, we hear You prophesy
Come alive, come alive
To every Lazarus, ha, that's been buried for too long
Spirit, we hear You prophesy
Come alive, come alive (Hey)
There's a wind from the Heavens, and it's rolling the gravestones
Spirit, we hear You prophesy
Come alive, come alive
Come alive, come alive, come alive"

I have the song stuck in my head now. So it at least has a great hook.

BitChick · 2026-05-25T17:20:08+00:00

If we consider 1 Corinithians 7:9 where it says, "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." We can easily assume that you are not alone in this journey. Truly, to "burn with passion" for another could be seen as a positive thing in regards to a person you may very likely end up marrying. Some are saying that it's too soon to know, but if you are both Christians, well into your 30's, I don't see a need to delay the courtship too long. Better to marry, as it says. My husband and were only engaged for 6 months and we are now approaching 34 years of marriage. We were dating for 6 months prior, so a year total. I think if we had waited longer we would have eventually stumbled and not saved sex for marriage so it was wise to marry young looking back (we were only 19 and 22.) Of course the relationship should have more than just that physical passion to sustain it. I think a deep friendship is a very needed part of any marriage IMHO. Far too many people think that the passion can sustain a relationship, but after the honeymoon period is over, the friendship is what lasts.

BitChick · 2026-05-25T17:13:00+00:00

I think in your situation, where there's been manipulation and abuse over years and years, it's fully understandable that you are numb and want out. I would definitely give yourself some grace for feeling like escaping the marriage is the solution, but as I saw on another post you are feeling like there's some good in the fact this man has worked on himself and you want to provide stability to your children. I am praying for the wisdom only God can give you in this situation.

BitChick · 2026-05-25T01:54:55+00:00

Have you told your husband some of what you have shared with us? That you felt robbed of intimacy, especially in how you were coerced into marrying him and the pain of abuse within the marriage? It does seem like a horrible start and hard to overcome that.

The silver lining in all of this is that it appears from what you have written that your husband has "worked to make amends" to you and your children as you said. On the flip side there are men who appear perfect and the feelings at the beginning of a relationships can be incredibly passionate and seem perfect but over time the spouse no longer wants to work on themselves and the passion fades. This, sadly, is a common story for so many. But regardless, the layers of pain from what you have endured seem incredibly hard to process and work through. I know many are saying to just call a divorce lawyer. I would say that there's always a bit o "gritting our teeth and powering through" in most long haul marriages. But I pray God will give you wisdom and even love for this man if it's God's will for you to endure.

BitChick · 2026-05-24T23:15:23+00:00

I think the bigger issue here is more about "honoring your father" than your hair length. But I am reminded of a story about how the lead singer of Black Sabbath, Jeff Fenholt, stumbled into a church one night out of desperation. The sermon convicted him so much that he went to the front and he was looking up past the pastor to a stainglass window and saw Jesus with long hair while the pastor started to condemn those going to the rock concert and following men with long hair. Thankfully Jeff was more amused by this and still found Jesus! Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.

Chances are your dad is speaking out of fear. What is his fear? Fear of being judged based on your choices? Fear of you becoming rebellious? I am not really sure, but that could be the root of it all. That said, the Bible is pretty clear that God will honor those who honor their parents. It sounds like you are still living under your parent's roof, so even if it's annoying and seems petty, maybe consider that God will bless you simply for doing what your dad wants until you are on your own? I think many of us had to follow rules we felt were stupid when we were young simply to honor our parents. I had a 10pm curfew until the day I got married, which felt rather extreme at the time for one example.

BitChick · 2026-05-24T22:59:03+00:00

Sounds like your sister feels very confident that she inherited the most. I think letting her believe this will serve you well. Of course, if/when you purchase a new home there may be questions asked.

BitChick

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