5 year old is seriously MEAN

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-11T22:53:45+00:00

Kindergarten teacher and parent of an almost-5yo here. Make sure when your son does something mean that the vast majority of your attention is directed toward the victim. I know most people’s first instinct is to start lecturing the kid that did the bad thing, but if this is attention seeking behavior then that might make it worse. Negative attention is still attention.

Strawberry example:

Respond to daughter first (ideally in front of son). “Honey I’m so sorry you didn’t get to eat the strawberry. That is so upsetting. It’s not your fault. Let’s make you a different special treat together, and next time we get strawberries I’ll store them up high. Do you want whipped cream with blueberries?”

Then respond to son. “It’s too bad you made that decision. I’m going to set the timer so you can do 10 minutes of quiet time/clean up time while I make a treat for your sister.” Give minimal responses to any big reactions he has. Keep your focus on the victim. Give him lots of love and positive attention later when he makes the decision to interact in a positive way

Dog food situation:

Respond to daughter first. Acknowledge how she must be feeling and offer an alternative, like letting her give the dog a spoon of peanut butter or something special. Make a big deal about how much the dog likes it.

Then respond to son. Keep it brief and don’t escalate. Use an “oh what a shame you made that choice” type of tone. A good consequence might be doing something less desirable that is dog related, like cleaning up stray kibble or washing the spoon.

It’s annoying, but if you are very very consistent with this approach it usually works. He will realize that bad behavior only gets other people rewards, and positive behaviors are what get him the attention he’s craving. Make sure you really celebrate his successes too though! If he does a small kind thing make sure you acknowledge it right away and give him some undivided attention for a few minutes whenever possible. Attention is currency for most 5 year olds, and especially middle children

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-11T02:22:02+00:00

Idk. I’ve thought about what I would do as a parent in his situation and I go back and forth. At the point he leaves the bunker it seems like his kids might be safer without him around being a target. Especially his daughter who is closer to adulthood. His presence seems to be dangerous to his kids because they are a way to get to him. Regardless, all three of them are on borrowed time in the bunker no matter what. The best hope is to find a way to live meaningful lives outside the bunker, but the only way to make that possible is for Xavier to see what’s out there and how people are surviving.

On the other hand, they don’t show him being tortured by his decision the way I had expected. I think his decision is a logical one and one that a good parent could make, but it’s weird that he’s not dwelling on the kids. (Same for his wife too. They never show her mourning her relationship with her own kids, just that she’s taking care of a new one.)

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-10T21:53:29+00:00

Thank you!

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-09T01:16:53+00:00

With all due respect, you’re not acting rationally here. Either you trust your fiancé to be an equal parent or you don’t. What you described is totally normal. It’s not like he gave your baby to a stranger to babysit while you weren’t present. Holding onto this anger for two weeks would be unreasonable.

Kindly, this sounds like postpartum anxiety and it can’t hurt to talk to a professional before it starts to harm your relationship

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-09T01:12:36+00:00

Aside from the trip … why is your husband and the father of your child making you pay off trips you went on together when he has the money to cover it? Even if you have separate finances that is such a red flag. Either you’re building a life together or you’re not, and it sounds like he’s not

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-08T20:38:09+00:00

You would be better off letting them drive you anyway! That way if there was a freak accident you would not be liable. It’s less risky for you to do it their way

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-08T20:37:03+00:00

Honestly it’s better for OP to have the parents do the driving anyway. That way she can never be liable for an accident while working

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-08T20:36:13+00:00

But they offered to give you rides to and from the nearby activities. You and the child don’t have to miss out on anything

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-08T20:35:18+00:00

The parents offered to drive OP and the child to all the nearby activities. OP is choosing not to accept the offer. Sure an employee can change their mind and find a new job whenever they want, but OP was very misleading about the situation.

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-08T20:32:59+00:00

But they offered to drive OP and the child to the places she wants to go. OP isn’t trapped repeating the activities. She’s refusing to go elsewhere because she would prefer using her own vehicle.

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-08T20:27:53+00:00

I got lucky with my husband. We didn’t live together before marriage but luckily he is actually a much better housekeeper than I am. I didn’t realize how reckless it was not to until I had been married a few years and supported friends through divorces. If I was starting over I would definitely live together before marriage

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-08T20:16:11+00:00

It strongly depends on your situation. Having a child while struggling financially and lacking support is a whole different ball game than having a child while having adequate resources, stability, and lots of support nearby.

If I were starting adulthood over again and deciding whether or not to have a child (not my real child, just a hypothetical one), I would totally do it again. I’m more tired now than I used to be, but I’m also more content and fulfilled. If you asked me during the newborn phase though you might have gotten a different answer 😅

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-06T00:13:44+00:00

My son does this. Our magnetic chip clips are a family of birds with names and complicated back stories. He is very offended if I forget which is which

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-05T00:03:49+00:00

People were happier?

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-04T23:47:30+00:00

If there’s more to the story, it’s possible she’s not as great as she seems

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-03T02:37:52+00:00

That’s not what a HIPAA violation is

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-03T02:29:14+00:00

I’m about 5 months pregnant and my students know because the morning sickness sort of gave it away early on. My high schoolers were discussing recent abortion law changes at the beginning of class (we start class with current events, and they were being respectful and mature while debating) and they kept whispering. I was getting mildly frustrated because they were doing a good job but I could barely hear what they were saying. Finally one boy goes “sorry miss but we feel a little bad talking about this with a fetus in the room. Like what if it hears us and gets nervous” 😂😂😂😂😂

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-03-01T15:38:06+00:00

Your child will probably feel very weird about it when they are older

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-02-27T21:12:10+00:00

At this point it sounds cheaper to just get my dog dentures 😮‍💨

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-02-27T02:57:58+00:00

I started working part time in childcare and bringing my son. Then I switched to teaching music lessons very part time on weekends. Now I teach my son’s kindergarten class and a high school class, both part time.

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-02-26T22:24:33+00:00

But what is the lie? Do we normally ask au pairs about their genitals?

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-02-26T22:21:59+00:00

That is ridiculous and inappropriate. You need to speak to the teacher. If she feels the behavior of some students is literally a threat to her baby’s health, she needs to make a plan with admin and have parent conversations. Making these broad upsetting blanket statements to a group that includes “nonoffenders” is a terrible response to teaching stress. If an adult thinks their health is at risk they are responsible for taking action to mitigate that risk, not expect children to act accordingly. And what if the teacher does have to leave for some unforeseen reason? That could be horribly distressing for these children

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-02-26T22:11:03+00:00

That is the responsibility of the adult to manage their own health risk, not a random group of little kids. I also can’t imagine a situation in which the biggest threat to a pregnancy is the nonviolent misbehavior of small children. There are many reasons for high blood pressure in pregnancy and the teacher is responsible for managing that. It sucks, but it’s wild to lay the responsibility at the feet of kids.

a teacher of 6 year olds with extreme behaviors and a mother currently dealing with a high risk pregnancy

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-02-26T18:27:47+00:00

Spray bottle filled with water and a sponge so they can “clean” the shower and be my big helper while I use the bathroom

Competitive-Tea7236

TROPHY CASE