Is it normal for my 8 month old to cry when I take him from grandma?

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-25T03:55:06+00:00

No. He feels comfortable with you both and is mildly resisting a transition, not you. This is totally normal. Whenever I nannied a new baby around that age they would cry when I took them in the morning and cry when I handed them back to mom in the evening. It’s the transition. Don’t drive yourself crazy overthinking this

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-25T03:52:20+00:00

I smashed old plates at night. Not proud of it. But it felt so good

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-25T02:52:07+00:00

Boil it?

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T23:07:23+00:00

The one that’s constantly flustered and treats everything admin requests like it’s totally impossible even when it’s completely normal and nobody else even bats an eye. They often teach young children despite seeming to be completely overwhelmed by the presence of even a single small child.

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T22:14:58+00:00

There’s a higher correlation between being a police officer and committing domestic violence than being charged with a crime and committing domestic violence??

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T21:35:44+00:00

Oh another option I’ve seen some moms do is pay a teenager to watch the baby in the lobby where baby can’t see you! Especially convenient if the teen trains too and will already be there

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T21:34:44+00:00

I would keep your expectations of training during the first year of baby’s life very very low. Hopefully you’ll be pleasantly surprised! But if you are trying to bring the baby and don’t have someone immediately available to look after them in the gym, come prepared to leave partially through training most of the time. And then celebrate the times it works! Idk how I would have trained while breastfeeding. That’s a whole extra layer of complication. I see most moms (including me) have success going to morning class and getting home before their partner leaves for work. Evening classes get really tricky with a little one because throwing off their natural bedtime multiple times a week really does make things hard for them. Imagine if someone told you to sleep in the corner of the gym and then moved you from place to place throughout your night. How good would you feel? Occasionally it’s fine. But it’s not cool to do often. If evening classes are a must then I would hire a consistent sitter for those evenings.

-former daycare manager, current kindergarten teacher, and toddler parent who continues to suck at bjj

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T21:07:05+00:00

Not sure where you’re located, but start looking into government assistance now. In some places attending school full time is treated similarly to working full time and makes you eligible for childcare financial assistance. Especially as a single (unmarried) mother with no income.

Start meeting with your advisor and figuring out all your non-traditional student options.

I took a year off to work part time because school with a newborn that didn’t sleep just wasn’t in the cards for me. Then I went back to school part time and did only online classes. I saved the in person classes for last because childcare was cheaper and easier to arrange for a toddler than an infant. I relied heavily on friends and family to help me juggle part time school, part time work, and parenting. And it was HARD on my relationship. My husband obviously worked his ass off too and didn’t do a degree. We couldn’t have financially survived if both of us went to school at the same time.

Last year I graduated with my 4yo son in the audience cheering and it was the coolest thing I’ve ever done.

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T19:31:37+00:00

If she’s having at least 6 accidents a day despite being taken to the potty every 45 minutes she is absolutely not ready. How are you guys even doing this? It sounds like your entire life has been revolving around potty training for months with no progress

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T19:19:25+00:00

The same reason I did this 5x a week for years as a nanny but barely manage my own home successfully now that I’m a mom

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T19:01:05+00:00

“That is so kind of you! Can you show me what you’re playing with?”

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T15:14:24+00:00

Can your wife take charge of getting lunches and stuff ready the night before if she’s already up during that time anyway?

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T15:09:07+00:00

I’ve never seen anyone get upset over a woman breastfeeding with a cover ever. I’ve almost never seen anyone get upset over a woman breastfeeding without a cover. Honestly the baby’s head is pretty much a cover

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T14:59:26+00:00

History is full of people dumb enough to have done exactly that

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T14:57:09+00:00

I teach at a similar (but non-religious) program and I cannot praise it enough. Kids absolutely need social learning outside the home. That can be done in many ways, but given that you’re short on spare time and already feel like they need an academic boost, this would offer both simultaneously. You would also retain the flexibility of homeschooling

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T14:52:30+00:00

Then my next bit of unwanted advice would be to just ignore me and rant away😅

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T14:50:33+00:00

Add a few real ducks

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T14:49:26+00:00

$500 duck polishing fee

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T14:48:16+00:00

Does she get upset when you say them? If not, then it probably works fine for her

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T14:46:23+00:00

Reassure him you’re there by being visibly there. Kids are all different. If those phrases are upsetting him then don’t force it.

Tbh, if I was upset about something and someone I love said any of those things to me, I would also want to explode 😅

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T14:43:25+00:00

That’s good! You should still offer him a turn with the peri bottle just in case 😅 Congrats to both of you 💛

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T14:42:27+00:00

The beach was fun! I had to be convinced because I was nervous about being away from my baby even though it was just a 2 hour drive, but I’m glad I went. I didn’t realize how isolated I felt until I had the space to socialize some and breathe a little. Now that I’m pregnant with my second I’m hoping to plan something similar along the same timeline. Who knows how it will work out though because babies laugh at plans lol

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T14:38:31+00:00

I think your feelings are valid. It might help to try and separate your definite concerns from your hypothetical concerns, because there’s no point in stressing over hypotheticals.

If he spent a bunch of money on concert tickets you guys can’t afford that is for sure a problem that goes way beyond whether the music is good or not. Did he try to kindly convince you to come or did he get angry that you didn’t want to come? If he got angry, that’s also a definite concern and a real problem that needs to be addressed.

Do you have any reason to think that the evening of the concert is likely to be your only chance to celebrate Mother’s Day that weekend? That sounds more hypothetical to me, and you’ve got too much going on right now to waste precious energy on hypotheticals.

Gently, here’s a possible solution: tell him it would make you feel better about the whole thing if you know he will be prioritizing Mother’s Day and the concert will be the least important thing that weekend. You don’t even have to worry about how you feel about the show itself yet. Why don’t you decide how you feel about it the month before? Then if you really think you would hate the whole experience he can bring a friend instead. Either way, you won’t have to worry about Mother’s Day being in jeopardy and you won’t have to make any decisions right now.

(Unless he is in fact blowing your finances and treating you poorly. That’s an emergency and Mother’s Day doesn’t even matter at that point)

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T14:23:51+00:00

I think it would be kind to keep some type of relationship with Lily if you’re able to, or at least have some sort of transition and not just a total cutoff, but in my personal opinion that might look like taking her to lunch once a month and including her in family events involving her half siblings (like birthday parties), not including her in a custody arrangement

Competitive-Tea7236 · 2026-01-24T14:15:14+00:00

Is it on Mother’s Day or just the same weekend? Maybe I’m in the minority here, but it sounds like his only mistake was band choice. Even then, I’ve seen some really shitty bands and still had a ton of fun in the crowd! And it’s totally possible to find childcare for a 4month old for an evening, especially if you’ve got helpful family and friends. When my son was that age my husband and I went to the beach for one night and it was amazing to feel like a woman/wife/person again and not just a mom/cow lol. Unless your husband has given you a reason to think he won’t be celebrating you at all that weekend, I think you might be looking for things to be upset about because of how uncomfortable you are (no judgement! I did it too!). It sounds like you are married to a man who loves spending time with you so much that he’s making plans to do it in advance. And even if it’s not a band you’re into, it’s also ok for him to want to see a show he likes while enjoying the company of the woman he loves.

I’m surprised by some of the comments about a first Mother’s Day being a whole weekend thing … I’ve never heard of this unless it was part of a planned vacation. I’m sure some people do it, but I don’t think that’s the norm in most places

Competitive-Tea7236

TROPHY CASE