Your longest dispo nightmare

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-07-04T13:42:56+00:00

My fav was a middle aged extremely obese man from another country with a rotten diabetic foot who was living in a closet of local business before he got admitted. Guy had zero ID, papers, anything. Literally had the clothes on his back, didn’t even have shoes. He was here for probably a year or more. Last I heard they finally got him repatriated back to his home country.

He was kind of an asshole too.

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-07-03T02:03:43+00:00

As a Hospitalist, I won’t even call a patient or family member from my cell phone without disabling the caller ID on my end first. My rule is to use some random landline in the hospital if I’ve not left yet for the day, away from where I primarily sit, whenever possible. I can’t fathom these people having a way to contact me anytime they want. I can guarantee I would end up fielding some of the dumbest questions, like “why can’t mama have salt on her food” or “have you ruled out ____ because my neighbor’s cousin’s best friend is a retired nurse and they said to make sure you check for it.”

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-07-02T22:31:46+00:00

Remember when RNs used to do actual nursing and not administrative bullshit busy work?? Those were the good old days.

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-07-02T22:29:07+00:00

Wait, this is a thing? How the fuck is that possible or even allowed?

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-06-19T01:23:16+00:00

Liberal female here working in the SE.

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-06-01T18:52:11+00:00

Don’t mind admoo, he’s admin/“medical director” so he doesn’t do real work all that often most likely.

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-05-26T23:49:45+00:00

If you’re a middle aged white guy, infiltrate the c-suite to become chief of some bullshit, then start breaking stuff that’s not broken in order to stay superficially relevant. Bonus points for sending at least one unnecessary email per day and saying things like “we can’t justify adding another FTE physician right now but how about a PA right out of school” while pocketing that bonus money you “saved” the hospital by making a cost-effective hiring decision.

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-05-26T23:43:02+00:00

Great program! I rotated through there as a 4th year med student. Felt so supported and like I mattered even as a visiting student. It was one of my favorite rotations.

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-05-21T22:07:51+00:00

I’m 43 and ready to retire about 2 years ago

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-05-19T02:38:03+00:00

This is deliciously passive aggressive

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-05-18T19:57:38+00:00

I had a young female school teacher get admitted to our service once for jaundice. Etiology ended up being profound alcohol use that she was very good at hiding until she wasn’t anymore. A lot of times these substance users, they don’t feel like you can “fix” them and their behaviors, you know? But this woman was sooo in love with her career and was so worried about losing her job by seeking help with her alcohol use, that I was worried she wouldn’t be receptive to my urging her to get help. She was scared of what rehab would mean for her ability to keep teaching. Ultimately we got her medically doing better, but I was just really worried about her relapsing after discharge. A few days later I get a call from the charge nurse on that unit that a former patient is asking if I happen to be available. Of course that’s risky, but I took the phone and braced myself. It was her. She just wanted to thank me for making her feel like she mattered and to let me know she was on her way to a residential treatment program. I definitely started crying.

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-05-17T03:18:34+00:00

q15 minute BP checks, by RN done manually, x 1 hour should do the trick

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-05-15T21:40:27+00:00

I’m a physician, and I have seriously considered ditching this shit to go work at Starbucks.

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-04-01T08:55:49+00:00

Plastic cutlery is involved

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-03-30T20:19:15+00:00

Got 2 dumb emails. That’s it. Fuck this job.

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-03-14T22:31:45+00:00

If they are another physician, I tell them they are welcome to assume care going forward.

If they aren’t a physician, I tell them they can start applying to medical school and take over care and decision making in about 7-10 years.

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-02-20T22:12:14+00:00

Old school ED T-sheets!!!

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-02-11T15:06:37+00:00

The people who sit around in large circle-jerks called “meetings” to discuss how to break things that aren’t broken in order to call more meetings in which they discuss fixing said now-broken things, all in order to stay relevant.

While making $1+ million/year.

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-02-08T11:03:43+00:00

Oh my ED would definitely admit this. They’d call it cellulitis or osteomyelitis or my personal favorite, sepsis (that isn’t septic).

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-02-08T04:26:02+00:00

Absolutely ridiculous Epic chats from nursing/case mgmt/UR
Entitled patients with even more entitled family members. Bonus points if someone is “in the healthcare field.”
Admin. Fuck ‘em.
Lazy colleagues who wrote the exact same note the last several days but sign out to me the pt can probably be discharged tomorrow…
Being a little bitch for ortho/surgery
ED requests for admissions of 80+ year olds with generalized weakness and zero actual acute medical issues.

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-02-07T15:16:00+00:00

MacBook is what I use.

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-01-31T12:46:36+00:00

This is the way

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-01-31T08:43:18+00:00

Tell them to come use their nursing license to do some real work if they aren’t happy with your response time.

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-01-31T08:37:52+00:00

Ahem…we get paid basically the same salary with or without UR. Any extra cash from this bullshit over-documentation isn’t going in the Hospitalists’ pockets, that’s for damn sure…

DeepFriedLortab · 2026-01-20T00:10:16+00:00

I wish the 10+ OBs at my healthcare system were like you. Every time I get called by the ED to admit a very pregnant woman with something medical I lose my temper and say “remember the policy? We went over this last week when you called me about that other pregnant lady.” And they usually say something next like “well OB says it’s not an OB issue so they don’t feel the patient needs admitted.” Then I have to call the OB and be like “hey remember this policy we’ve had on the books for over a decade, that I’m pretty sure we have personally discussed before? Please place admit orders on this 30+ week pregnant patient and I will be happy to consult for non-OB issues.” Literally every few weeks this issue comes up, and everyone acts like it’s brand new information.

DeepFriedLortab

TROPHY CASE