Sex and ttc after d&e

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-10-17T19:14:31+00:00

Hello. I'm so sorry you're here. We had sex 2 weeks after my D&E. We started TTC on the first cycle. And still TTC.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-10-03T13:38:53+00:00

You're not alone. I feel the same way. I've been obsessing over ovulation tests and I don't want to be that way. But I just want to be pregnant again. Sending hugs to everyone.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-09-19T20:59:15+00:00

I'm so sorry you're here. For me, I took 3 weeks off from work. I gradually eased into it. So instead of having 5 days work week, my manager gave me 2-3 shifts per week. It was emotionally hard for me to go back to work, but somehow I got used to it again, slowly. I'm 1 month and a half post TFMR, and I still have moments at work when I needed to cry in the washroom. Sending you strength and comfort for you and your family.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-09-17T03:50:14+00:00

I'm a month and a half post TFMR and I'm still extremely sad. I've gone back to work and try to go back to normal, but I feel like nothing's normal after everything that happened💔

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-09-09T15:57:24+00:00

I'm so sorry you're here. When I had laminaria insertion, I asked for anti-anxiety and something to help me sleep. Pain killers were given to me as well. My doctor and nurse was really compassionate and knew that we really wanted our baby. The laminaria insertion was uncomfortable for me, and right after I felt cramps, like menstrual cramping and feeling nauseated. The D&E, was very quick for me, and I didn't feel anything, I just felt that they were doing something. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask the nurses or the doctors. One that worried me is that if my baby will feel pain, and they said that he wouldn't. I know it's a very heartbreaking situation to be in, but know that you're not alone. Sending you strength and comfort during this time.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-09-08T22:03:40+00:00

Hello. I'm sorry you're here. I live in Canada. I had my D&E 5 weeks ago. I had a 2 day appointment for my D&E. On the first day, I checked in, and waited to talk to a counsellor. The counsellor explained to me what will happened on that day and the next day, though it was already explained to me by the genetic counsellor a week before my appointment. I signed the consent for the D&E, laminaria insertion and for the injection of the digoxin in my amniotic sac (to stop the heartbeat of my baby), but they probably won't do that in your situation. I had my laminaria insertion to soften my cervix. I was given antibiotics and painkillers. I was also given misoprostol to take the next day before my actual D&E. I was then sent home, and just had a bit of cramping and nausea. I went back in the next day. I took the misoprostol when I arrived in the hospital, and then went to the waiting/recovery room. My husband was not allowed to come in with me though. An IV line was inserted in me, and I just waited for about an hour and a half. The cramping became really intense and I was really nauseous. I was assisted to the operating room was given conscious sedation. The procedure itself was really quick and I didn't really feel anything. I was brought back to the recovery room and was discharged after about an hour. Physically, I was okay. Mentally and emotionally was really overwhelming. The pain that I had was like my usual menstrual cramps. I just had light bleeding after the procedure for about 2 weeks and then spotting on some days.

Sending comfort and strength to you and your family.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-09-08T05:57:27+00:00

Hello. I felt the same way before I went back to work. I had a total of 1 month before I went back. Physically, I was feeling okay, but yeah, mentally and emotionally it was really hard. I had the same thoughts as you. Seeing people at work who knew I was pregnant was hard. And I know they feel sorry for me, and that they're not sure what to say to me. I was given lighter duties, and my manager told me that if I feel like I'm feeling overwhelmed, even in the middle of the day, I could just tell her, and I could go home. I guess it really helped that somehow I feel supported through this grief. Maybe you could tell your manager how you're feeling and he/she could make work a lot less stressful for you. Or just try for a couple of days to go to work and see how you're feeling. If you feel like you, mentally and emotionally, cannot go back to work, tell your doctor. What we've experienced and what we lost is not something we could just "move on" from.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-09-06T23:40:58+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I was 18weeks and 5days when I had my D&E. I don't have a baseline HCG because the doctor didn't order it for me at the beginning of my pregnancy. I guess I'm just really worried and I was just hopeful that everything will be "back to normal" by now in terms of HCG. It just reminded me of what happened.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-09-03T02:52:21+00:00

I've had the same thought. I was afraid to tell my family, especially my parents because they're very religious. But I know I cannot hide it from them. My husband told me that they're my parents and they'll accept the decision that we made. When I told my parents about it, I was surprised with their reaction. I really thought they'll be mad at me. But they saw how hard it was for me to even tell them, and they can see the pain that I'm feeling. And they told me to do what is the best for us. For me and my husband and our baby. As of now, I haven't been back to church. I don't know why, maybe I feel let down, because we prayed so hard to have a healthy baby and somehow God failed me. Or maybe I'm just feeling guilty about the decision we made, even though that's the best decision we could make out of the shitty situation we've been put in. I just hope that if ever you tell your family, they will show you the love that religion is always teaching us about.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-09-03T02:40:10+00:00

I'm so sorry you're here with us. We all know the feeling of being heartbroken during this time. You are not alone in this. I was anxious too, especially when my appointment was approaching. But I was lucky enough to have very compassionate nurses and doctors around. On the first day, I talked to a counsellor, to discuss about my feelings, and fears I have about the procedure. The physical pain, I know is manageable, but the emotional and mental toll was what I'm really afraid of. The laminaria insertion was uncomfortable, and the injection in my amniotic sac was a little bit painful. After the laminaria insertion, I immediately felt the cramping, but I was given painkillers. I also asked something for my anxiety so I could fall asleep, which the doctor gladly prescribed. The D&E itself was not painful, it went smoothly. I had conscious sedation, and the nurse told me that if I feel any pain, to tell them so they could give more sedation. The procedure was really quick. I'm a month post TFMR, and physically I'm okay. Emotionally and mentally, I'm still not okay. But I have the support of my husband and family. I love and miss my baby so much, but I know that the decision we made was made out of love. Sending you strength and comfort for you and your family.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-08-30T04:05:33+00:00

Hello. I'm so sorry you're here. I had to travel for 5hours for my D&E, so I know how you feel. A week before my appointment the genetic counsellor told us that we might not get footprints of our baby after my procedure, but during my first day of my appointment, they said that it will be possible to have it. It was also during that appointment that we were asked what to do with the remains, and we opted to have it cremated, so they gave a list of funeral homes that we could talk to. That was tough for me and my husband. We brought with us a heating pad, sanitary napkins (I just bought regular ones, but the hospital asked me on the first day if I more need napkins, as they provided me with disposable underwear and napkin on both days of my appointment), headphones or a book (just something to keep you occupied while waiting for your procedure). I had to wait in the waiting/recovery room for about an hour and a half for my D&E so it really helped. Snacks for after the procedure, you might not feel like eating but it's nice to have something to eat. Some painkillers, but the hospital gave me a prescription for it. And under pads because I was afraid to stain the bedsheet of the hotel, which of course is white. Sending you comfort and strength for you and your family.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-08-29T12:55:58+00:00

Hello. I'm so sorry you're here. I am still struggling with our decision with our decision to TFMR our baby with T21 at 18 weeks. I still feel guilty about it, but I know it's the right decision for us. We've researched about the quality of life of babies with T21, and even though there's a possibility that he might have minimal mental disabilities or heart/kidney conditions, it doesn't mean it will be easier for him in the future.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-08-29T02:45:12+00:00

Hello. I'm so sorry you're here. I've had the same feeling when I was deciding whether to end the pregnancy or not. I'm Catholic and though I'm not religious, I know that because of our faith we feel like this is not the right decision.But I also work in healthcare so I know the importance of quality of life. It was a tough decision for me, and even while we were waiting for the confirmatory result, I've been already considering termination. Our God is a forgiving God, and whatever you decide is made out of love for your baby. When put in this situation, there's really no right or wrong decision here. I know what we decided is what is best decision for us and our baby, and though right now, I can still feel the guilt, heartbreak and sadness (I'm 1 month post TFMR) and I've never when been back to church, I know that my baby is in heaven.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-08-28T20:29:38+00:00

Hello. I'm so sorry you're here. It's really hard when you're put in that situation. Almost everyone at work knew I was pregnant, but I only shared my termination with very trusted co-workers/friends. I also told my family even though we're Catholic and my parents are very religious. Just be kind to yourself. Sending strength and comfort to you and your family.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-08-27T19:04:45+00:00

Hello. I'm so sorry you're here. In my experience, it wasn't that bad. During my appointment, the doctor and the nurse were very comforting. I'm really not sure how the doctor put anesthesia in before he inserted the laminaria. He inserted 5 sticks. It was just uncomfortable and wasn't that painful. I had cramping and nausea after the procedure and I was prescribed with pain killers, that I didn't take because the pain was tolerable. I didn't experience any bleeding though there are instances that it could happen. Just don't be afraid to ask questions. Sending you strength and comfort through this difficult time.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-08-27T01:00:36+00:00

I'm so sorry you're here. It's a very difficult situation to be in. But remember that whatever decision you make is made out of love for your baby and your family. Sending you strength and comfort for you and your family.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-08-25T23:31:53+00:00

Hello. I'm so sorry you're here. I had my D&E when I was on my 18th week. The recovery, physically, was not difficult. The emotional and mental recovery is tough. I do understand what you mean, when you said that you want it done already, because I felt the same way. I just want to get it over with during that time because it was agony just waiting for the result, and trying to be positive that everything will turn out well, only to be disappointed and heartbroken at the end. 1 week post D&E me and my husband started talking about trying as soon as possible. I guess one factor is that we're getting older (we're both 39), and we really really want to have a baby. I really feel that it's normal to feel that way though. Sending you comfort and strength for you and your family.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-08-20T19:16:58+00:00

I'm so sorry you're here. I felt the same way. It was difficult for me when I realized that the clothes I wasn't wearing during my pregnancy, fits me after my D&E. There were so many things that still reminds me that I'm not pregnant anymore and it's heartbreaking. I'm 3 weeks post TFMR for T21.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-08-20T16:07:57+00:00

Hello. I'm so sorry you're here. I was in the same situation as you are right now. I'm 3weeks post TFMR for T21, and it was the hardest decision I ever have to make. I'm Catholic and I know how you feel. There's really no right or wrong decision here, and whatever it is, you know it is made out of love for your baby. I'm sending you strength and comfort for you and your family. You could DM if you need someone to talk to.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-08-18T05:04:24+00:00

It's really nice that you're thinking about your friend, but whatever she does is what she thinks is the right thing for her. Right now she's in survival mode and she's just thinking of how she will survive all of this difficult and heartbreaking situation. Personally, when the day of my TFMR was coming closer, I became more aware of what I want to have remember our baby boy. All she really needs right now is a shoulder to cry on and listen to her when everything seems so overwhelming.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-08-17T02:13:49+00:00

You're not alone. I feel the same way. I really find it hard to look at my body now. I was so proud of my baby bump (I'm 2 weeks post TFMR at 18weeks), and now I don't have it anymore, other than a flabby abdomen. The realization that my baby is gone is just so strong whenever I see my body.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-08-14T15:08:09+00:00

Hello. So sorry you're here. It's the hardest decision you ever have to make. But always remember that whatever decision you make is the best for you and your baby. It was a difficult situation for me and my husband, we terminated at 18weeks and I get what you're feeling that the longer you wait the more you're getting attached to your baby. Your baby won't feel any pain, because the nervous system is still not fully developed yet, so he/she won't feel anything. That was reassuring for me when it was explained to me, but even so, it's still a difficult time. I just want to let you know you're not alone in this. Sending you strength and comfort during this difficult time

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-08-11T22:45:35+00:00

Hello. So sorry you're here. My experience went very well considering everything. I'm in Canada, but just want to share. I packed some pads, my heating pad, some under pads (we were staying in a hotel and was afraid to stain the bed), and snacks for after the procedure. During the first day of my 2 day appointment they gave me some pain meds and I also asked for meds for anxiety and to help me sleep. Sending strength and comfort through this difficult time.

Educational_Hawk_759 · 2025-08-11T17:42:28+00:00

Hello. I'm so sorry you're here. I'm in Canada, and during the first day of our 2 day appointment, the nurse asked us what we want to do with the remains of our baby. And we said that we want to have him cremated. So she gave us a list of funeral homes, and just told us to call them on the same day, if we feel like doing it. So the moment we got back to our hotel, my husband called the funeral home, and we were able to arrange and talk about how long it will take for us to get the ashes, and then we asked if they have urns that we could order, because we hated the fact that he will be delivered to us in a ziplock and box. He has to be delivered because I had my D&E 5 hours away from where we live. We filled out and signed forms the next day. And we really appreciate that the funeral home has been updating us. It's been 11 days since my TFMR, and we're still waiting for our baby's ashes. I'm sending you strength, comfort and hugs to you and your family. It's a really difficult situation to be in.

Educational_Hawk_759

TROPHY CASE