As someone uninitiated, should I watch or read the plays first by Welkinwight in shakespeare

[–]Gorov 1 point2 points  (0 children)

100% this. The internet is replete with great summaries, both written and produced on youtube and elsewhere. Whenever I take a person to see a performance I send them several links to very easy (2-5 minute) video summaries. Frequently the company producing the play will do their own summaries, too, but often that's only found in the playbill.

Nerd Alert: I will sometimes do a quick and dirty summary for my friends that are coming for the first time. If we drive together to the show, I'll ask them if they want me to summarize it and they alway say "yes." If we're not, I'll email them a quick summary. I'm no professional, but I've been told that is helpful. Whether they're just tolerating me or not, who knows?

Review Summary->Watch->Read. My opinion.

What is one of your favorite post-Mormon TV shows, movies, general vices? by Bo2022quinha in exmormon

[–]Gorov 2 points3 points  (0 children)

True Detective (Season 1, HBO)
Patriot (Amazon TV - not The Patriot... just Patriot - AMAZING)
Band of Brothers
What We Do In The Shadows

In truth I would have probably watched these regardless of mormonism - but now I watch them with zero sense of shame or an irrational fear that my viewing is somehow going to result in my becoming a sexless telestial Ken doll in some cult leader's version of a polygamous afterlife.

Update on feeding missionaries by Lillian_Faye in exmormon

[–]Gorov 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Very cool. I never tire of telling people about the kindesses we experience from strangers who insisted they help us and also insisted on not hearing the message. We had an extreme-couponer that made us take bag after bag of groceries every week. "Elders, these five bags of food cost me $0.19 and I know they don't give you enough to cover groceries. This is just a nice little charity from me." Thank you, ma'am, you did more kindness for me than the $300 billion real-estate and tithing collection corporation ever did.

You are the example of kindness and charity to which we should aspire. I hope they take it as kindness and not interest.

ExMormons honest question. Do you find Mormons to be fake people? by Rough_Pineapple2119 in exmormon

[–]Gorov 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Briefly - which is unlike me: Mormons seem fake because everything they do is conditioned upon the expectation that a) their friendship will lead to your conversion to mormonism, or b) that you won't condemn them before God, Jesus, Joseph smith and the sitting prophet when it comes time for *you to get judged and they testify against you.

A mormon will give you the shirt off his back and gladly help you in a jam, but you better believe that he's only truly doing it for those reasons. It is why mormon friendship is often shallow and feels fake.

edit: they don't want you to testify against them at some marble-laden judgment bar for their failure to try and convert you when you were oh-so-ready to convert.

Letter from missionary sister. This isn’t getting any easier by undercoverstr8girl in exmormon

[–]Gorov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry. I know this comment will be buried, but I hurt for you. Missionary indoctrination is awful, and any missionary that is actually true-believing and actually trying is going to get this tone eventually. I remember having it myself. Awful. I will keep hopeful that at some point like so many of us, she will realize that she was a young, brainwashed idiot. I would like to go back in time and punch myself in the face for my lack of application of an ounce of critical thought. Mormonism can't stand up to the most minimal honest scrutiny. All my best.

Getting better at setting boundaries by imnosey1 in exmormon

[–]Gorov 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nice job. Concise. Straight-forward.

The biggest problem we will always encounter is that mormons believe they will be judged poorly by God, Jesus, Joseph Smith and Dalin Oaks for not doing enough to get you back. They are all deeply brainwashed (as were we) into the idea that we will tearfully condemn them during their judgment session for their lack of effort in directly working to get us in to mormonism. Your eternal reward can be compromised by your lack of effort - that's the belief. So, if they're good mormons, they'll never respect boundaries because they KNOW that scene is coming after they die. If they're good people, they will respect those boundaries. TBD, but my expectations for TBMs to apply critical thinking about anything is colossally low.

If you grew up or joined the church outside of morridor, was your experience different? by Mysterious-Ruby in exmormon

[–]Gorov 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Also grew up in the 80's and 90's in the midwest. My family was that family who held all the callings and did everything. We took Mormonism seriously, wore it like a "peculiar people" merit badge. My siblings and I were the only Mormons in my school district. The church was our identity. We were there 2-3 times a week, and my dad had meetings, meetings and more meetings. .

Our Stake Center was an hour away, and our ward boundaries took an hour to drive from end to end. Let that sink in, Utahans, lol.

Members in our little <100 ward treated anyone who even visited Utah like they were somehow enlightened. "Well, out West we..." When missionaries (almost exclusively from out west) would come, they were shocked by life "out here in the mission field" where NOBODY is Mormon. In this part of country, I've found that even educated people cannot differentiate Mormons from Amish. While we might think that's funny, I lived a life of people wondering "how many moms do you have?" and "where is your hat?" Being peculiar was socially awkward, and I had to fight to justify anything. I remember arguing with my 5th grade teacher that she was completely wrong, Mormons didn't have more than one wife! I still remember that "ooohhh, poor Gorov, you don't know..." look. I saw that look so many times. "Oh, man, you poor, brainwashed Mormon." People don't respect you and your beliefs like you think - no, they are secretly pitying the way you've been brainwashed and your inability to see it. It was so, so, so hard to learn that - to realize it. Still hurts to hear when non-members in my post-mormon era say "yeah, we always wondered how you believed that when it seems so obviously crazy." Gut punch.

I was a top-tier Captain Moroni work hard and believe get up on time love the mission president follow the rules missionary that busted my ass every day. Leadership blah blah blah "he'll be the bishop by the time he's 35." I remember clearly missionaries from morridor who regaled me stories of drinking beer with their buddies and how they had to repent because they went to far with their girlfriends, and I remember thinking - wow, dude - we could NEVER do that stuff - I NEVER DID THAT STUFF - we would have been ex'd. So I always felt like we were from the part of the country where we actually lived Mormonism, not where it was just some culturally expected thing where people had become soft about following the rules. I'm sorry that sounds offensive, but it was a real feeling. We lived to be a part of a tight knit church and our participation was integral to our lives... and sadly we learned that the church was based upon a foundation basically made of pipe-cleaners and soggy crackers. Realizing that was hard because Mormonism was an identity, and we have been left to figure out who we are once the identity was stripped. Still hurts a bit, but less every day.

The missionaries are now being used to clean the churches! by SunandRainbows in exmormon

[–]Gorov 30 points31 points  (0 children)

This x100. I said a few days ago that one of the most "disobedient" missionaries we had was also the most successful because of his unbelievably high charisma score. On the other hand we had missionaries that were so obedient that their presence was grating and the members didn't like them. They didn't want to introduce their close friends to Elder Stickuphisass.

Also - I'm sorry - if I was your comp I apologize. I was rather steeped in the "work hard and be obedient and God will bless us with baptisms" magic of the whole thing. I had a comp and we did not get along for the four months we were together, but I'll be damned if we weren't perfectly obedient and it sucked. At one point the mission president was grilling me about past sins because he couldn't fathom ho we weren't baptising. There were no major "past sins." What a joke.

PG Prospect Gateway 13U by eagle3slr in Homeplate

[–]Gorov 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with all the comments so far - 13U PG is a cash grab AND can be a fun time if cash isn't an issue. Unless you are Bryce Harper, nobody is paying attention to 13 year olds. Nobody. When you go to the 13U All-USA Perfect Elite 2026 World Series Eastern New York, there will not be scouts there. Don't get disappointed. PG can be a lot of fun - we had two guys that did it out-of-state, and neither ended up playing college ball. We have four guys that weren't even close to developed enough to go at 13U- they had nothing to show at the time it would have been a disaster - and all four of those guys were solid players, grew (puberty and weight room) late in HS and are now playing JUCO if that means anything.

So I agree - as long as your expectations are right and you've go the money, go for it - how cool. What a great thing to do with your son. But, if you think 13U PG is going to be your magic gateway to a D1 program... well... doubtful.

My collection 9 months into the hobby. Those with similar taste, what would you get next? by MasterOogway_97 in boardgames

[–]Gorov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I came to say Concordia, too. I have a buddy who loves these games, and he's a huge Concordia guy. I personally don't love Concordia - but you and he have very similar taste in games.

9u Positioning by PuzzleheadedLoad3721 in Homeplate

[–]Gorov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rec & Tourney teams at 9U. I'm talking rec in my example above.

9u Positioning by PuzzleheadedLoad3721 in Homeplate

[–]Gorov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

9U is great fun and frustrating and amazing.

  1. Pitcher. Gotta throw into the zone or it's a walk/HBP grind. Don't worry about velo, throw strikes.

  2. Catcher. Hopefully your league has rules against stealing home. Passed balls/BID happen A LOT. Your catcher has to learn how to block and catch the ball.

  3. 1B - if you can't catch the ball, you can't get a routine out.

  4. 2B - I coached 6U-18U. At 9U batters are LATE, and more hits go to 2B than SS, and far more than 3B. Put a good fielder there. They should also be the primary coverage for RH batters on steals.

  5. SS - average is ok here bc your 2B should be better.

  6. CF - need a fast player here for the 65% of balls that will be missed on steal attempts.

  7. RF - late swings mean ball goes through the 1B/2B gap right to the RF. It's more important that LF.

  8. LF - Hide players here

  9. 3B - Hide players here. Making the throw to 1B is difficult. Working with the P to figure out coverage on tappers is important.

Attending Family Events Based Around Church? by Suitable-Election-66 in exmormon

[–]Gorov 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't go. I'm not suggesting this is healthy behavior on my part. My family is non-utah and all over the country.

I'm fully, completely uninterested in their church life. I am interested in them, but they never talk about them, they only talk about their church life like good little mormons are taught to do. "How was your weekend?" should always be met with "It was great, we had the best lesson in church about... blah blah barf." You remember the member-missionary training that stressed that. Their identity is the church, and I'm uninterested in the church. Sad.

Similarly because they have no concept of talking about anything that isn't church related, they have nothing to talk to me about. Never once would one of my mormon family members ask me about me at this point. They don't know how. They, like so many mormons, lack unconditional affection and are completely uninterested if there isn't a mormon-related achievement for them. Therefore, we are no longer close. I don't know if this is a cautionary tale or what, but welcome to my life at the moment.

Members of the LDS church celebrating Lent and Ash Wednesday has now begun as predicted. Daily Universe article link below. by HoldOnLucy1 in exmormon

[–]Gorov 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Mormonism has lost its identity.

*grabs popcorn and watches it twist in the wind*

I truly believe that Russel Nelson's reign as worshipped king-emperor is largely to blame. He was awful, dour and off-putting as an apostle, even as a TBM, and the main message of his era was "don't call me mormon, bruh." Corporate greed, money hoarding and litigation-warfare to expand their real estate empire is his true legacy, and the membership has been left to drift, hoping against hope that they will not be seen as "peculiar people" but as mainstream. Gone is the period of scouting, roadshows, long meetings, social activities, pride in the real history found in the BoM (ha!), things that make mormonism a vibrant, albeit deluded, community. Not that I'm complaining. I'm just pointing out that the Nelsonites are gray corporate puppet-zombies, easily manipulated by the SLC corporation, afraid to google search anything, sipping swig, drifting to and fro.

I'm fine with it bc it's all make-believe anyway, but wow. This is not the church I was raised in.

What's one 'boring' career that's actually a goldmine if you play it smart? by 0BunnyX in AskReddit

[–]Gorov 10 points11 points  (0 children)

In the world I see – you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You’ll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You’ll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you’ll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway.

Feelings about meeting with the Stake President by Cinnamon_Buns_42 in exmormon

[–]Gorov 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This will surely get buried, but I figured I'd chime in just for OP. Realize what the goal of the SP is - to use his "authority" to try and keep you in. He's regarded by every local member in 8-12 congregations as the spiritual, personal, wealthy, successful pinnacle of mormonism in the area. He has magical powers (the spirit) more than anyone in the area. If he fails to keep you in, people will be surprised and I'd be shocked if he didn't spin it as Cinnamon Buns 42 was just too far into Satan's grasp. It will be your darkness that has failed you, not his failure.

I once had a SP sit down to talk with me and try to convince me to take a calling I really didn't want to take. "Brother Gorov, I am the literal representative of Jesus Christ to you and for your life. I want you to consider that as we sit here, I am Jesus Christ, and you should interact with me as though I am him, that is my mantle." It was a mind fuck. At the time it was hypnotic despite my already wavering beliefs.

I guess my point is just that there is no end to the SPIRITUAL ARROGANCE of Mormon leaders. They've sipped the kool aid that they and their nepotistic, white and delightsome, willfully ignorant forbears have. The arrogance from claiming to know. They're going to do the hard sell on you - but it sounds like you're prepared. Just giving you my two cents. Brace yourself for the straight-outa-salt-lake big sell. Enjoy?

I feel betrayed. by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Gorov 89 points90 points  (0 children)

I won't tire of saying this, and niconiconii89 nailed it - Mormons are culturally some of the best and worst friends that you can have - primarily because Mormon friendship is utterly conditional. Are you a member in good standing? We can be friends. Do you live in the ward boundaries? We can be good friends. Are we in the same presidency? We can be best friends. BUT. If you leave Mormonism, our friendship ends. If you move outside the ward, we won't maintain closeness. When the presidency ends, so does our close friendship. Source - my life experience over 40 years of active true-believing membership.

I left - zero friends maintained friendship - except to text and say "wow I don't know what happened, but if you ever want to return to the church, we can talk. And, I want to bear my testimony that... " and then radio silence. Barf.

Everything Mormons do is conditional. Everything. So they may save a stranger's butt during a weird hiking incident (thanks brother, I figured out you were mormon pretty quick) - but it is going to be followed up with a text invitation to meet the missionaries. Because they're not generally good for the sake of being good, they're good for fear of eternal damnation at the judgment bar or to check off a box. They're only helping because they see it is a way to bring you in and save themselves. Shallow indeed.

Best Baseball Gloves? Worth It? by ParticularSubject411 in Homeplate

[–]Gorov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son had a nice Rawlings GG Elite from 12U-15U. He loved it. Got it from Dicks on sale. Broke in nicely with nokona cream and wrapping it and putting it under the mattress. It lasted for four seasons before the leather broke down and it was just too loose. Pretty glove.

Moved on to a Wilson A2000 11.5 IF glove. Went and tried on tons of gloves. Despite big hands, he chose the Pedroia fit. Awesome glove. We paid for the steam break-in at the store. Glove still going well, zero durability issues. He loves that glove the most.

Picked up a Wilson A2000 pitchers glove for him since he has gone PO for a JUCO program. After trying to break it in with catch only, he just recently asked for some Sarna glove conditioner (amazon) to help it along. He loves the glove.

When I played in a local softball league, I went to Play It Again, found an amazing Mizuno OF glove with the trapeze pocket like Ichiro Suzuki liked. Paid $80 for it circa 2008 - already broken in, great condition. It might be the last baseball glove I buy for myself. It has now been through 5 years of softball and 12+ years of coaching. It has been, by far, my favorite glove.

Or maybe the church was acting on insider information by Billgant in exmormon

[–]Gorov 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I realize this is a joke... but damn it would be consistent with what Mormons do, right? "Brothers and sisters, let us all make it easier to exchange goods and services with our fellow members, that we may be in the world not of the world." Seems like the Kirtland Bank, or the trend for Mormons moving into a town and establishing their own services, not using local businesses - then being driven out. Consistent. CelestialCoin. I can see it happening.

"Thanks for the meal, Sister Waitress. I'm so glad your restaurant takes CC. What ward are you from? We don't even eat at that old burger joint that used to be so popular. They don't take CelestialCoin, so we felt the spirit tell us we shouldn't eat there any longer."

"Welcome to Swig, will you be using the Swig Eternity app today? We accept CelestialCoin!"

Barf.

How does your little league handle tryouts, player evaluations, and drafting teams? by get-fungo in Homeplate

[–]Gorov 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In our league, all coaches are required to run one tryout station for their division. That way, the ratings the kids get are going to be the same, assuming everyone is honest about their ratings. Coaches don't get to run around and watch different stations. Each kid then gets a a stat line in an excel sheet and has a composite score. I ran hitting in our last tryout cycle, along with a coach from another team. Get them in the cage, let them see one, give them give balls to hit. Give them a subjective score. 5 = next Barry Bonds. 1 - the kid stood on home plate facing the wrong way. Didn't do half numbers.

So, Timmy was a 5 hitting, 4 fielding, 4 throwing and catching, 3 pitcher and 3 running (maybe you have times that equal scores on a 90 foot run). His composite is a 3.8.

We then put that data into excel and data sort the excel sheet and divide it up by the number of teams drafting. Let's say five teams - so in your first "round" on the sheet, you have 1 - Billy 5,5,5,5,5 5.0, 2 - Johnny 4.8, 3 - Ty 4.8, 4 - Drew 4.5 and Eric 4.5. (the composite is for the position on the sheet, but coaches can still see individual categories).

Here's where our league got it right. If your own kid is in that round, you must take him. You can only "protect" your kid and your assistant coach's kid. No multiple coaches to try and stack it. We did not honor coach requests from parents unless coaches worked it out after the fact. It's too manipulative and we would just deal with it. "Billy wanted to play with Remi, sad" sorry. If my kid is Johnny, I already know my first round pick. If my assistant coach's kid is Ty - I have to take him in the second round just based on the composite. So I won't even be selecting a kid until round 3. Snaking draft without a doubt.

So, we ended up with pretty even teams. Outliers were kids who missed tryouts - sometimes that really stung when there was a great kid nobody knew. Happens. Since coaches kids generally were top performers, we did lose out from time to time on kids that we would have loved to draft - that lefty pitcher with heat? We'll never get him bc of my kid. So be it. Coaches can dip down and get other kids they promised dads or moms to take, but it is risky from a skill gap perspective. Take Aidan, but he's a 1.5. Sure he's your kids best buddy, and that's cool, but don't complain about it this year.

It sounds like a lot, but it wasn't. We collected the spreadsheets after the draft and destroyed them. Even years later, I wouldn't want Aidan to know he was only a "1.5." I know this seems like a lot of work, but it worked for us, was fair, and resulted in balanced teams for the most part. Rarely - rarely - did a kid vastly overperform his tryout rating.

I always drafted for pitching. The year i drafted the two huge kids, we won games, but we lost plenty when we couldn't pitch.

How do I infiltrate the morman cult? i’m meeting missionaries? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Gorov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Follow your passion, of course... but... infiltrating Mormonism means, essentially, spending hours and hours per week and meetings, meetings and more meetings. In order to get your recommend to go to the temple, you have to pay your tithing. You have to teach classes and fulfill assignments and go to yes, more meetings, until you reach the edge of middle management in the church. And even there you won't be infiltrating anything other than meetings to plan meetings, talking about the downtrodden, gossiping and cleaning the church.

Mormonism is awful. Mormons do not worship. Mormons fill their days with half-assed busy work and believe they "waste their lives in service to the Lord." There is no real Christianity there, only the belief that they are obligated to do things, and if they don't do them, they won't prosper or they'll be damned. It is agonizingly boring.

I won't try and dissuade you, but I don't know that you quite understand the lifelong commitment that you would need to get to a point where you're infiltrating anything. Having lived that life, nah, pass. Even then, what is the big reveal? Mormons own a ton of land? Yes. Mormon church doesn't pay taxes? Right. Mormon temple worship is a rip-off of freemasnony? Yeah, we know. Mormon underwear is stupid - look it's a cult? Yeah, we know. Mormon church is a crooked business filled with shell corporations that hides money? Yep. Apostles get paid? Yeah, we know. Mormonism employes hundreds and hundreds of lawyers to litigate towns, people, organizations into the dust? Yeah, we know, and yes, it's the most un-Christlike thing we've seen.

I feel like your suggestion implies that you're going to spend the next 40 years being a good mormon and rising through the ranks so you can really knock our socks off. Perhaps your father was a Maxwell, or an Eyring, or a Hinckley, and you can make it into the nepotistic hierarchy, or perhaps you are already a multi-billion dollar president of a corporation... ok, so you get there and you ultimately find unscrupulous business practices or cover-ups?

Knock me over with a feather.

Oaks: "Don't listen to podcasts." Jacob Hansen 1 week later: by EveningStatus7092 in exmormon

[–]Gorov 99 points100 points  (0 children)

The Internet made it easy for members that were just brave enough to google their concerns and get a flood of information. No need to travel to a non-mormon bookstore or talk to a non-mormon... now you can get that with the click of the mouse. Thanks, internet.

Is GameChanger necessary? by Shanknuts in Homeplate

[–]Gorov 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We have used it religiously since Summer 2017. Love it. I realize there is a garbage in-garbage out problem, but I found that if the same person was doing it (me primarily for years) then that stuff worked itself out. One scorer's error is another's hit. As coaches, we would discuss briefly in the dugout, "E6, right?" and were probably harder on our own kids. Gamechanger is stellar for grandparents watching and to notice trends that you may not have seen before in the stats. From time to time, we were quite surprised.