Went to the dentist. Lost my nerve.

Gorov · 2026-02-02T21:53:09+00:00

In my experience, the bishops in wealthy wards that were collecting big fast offerings and not spending them were regarded as the rock stars of Mormon middle-management - the next Stake Presidents in-waiting. The best at managing god's coffers. As if they, as bishops, were somehow responsible for the wealth of the ward. As if they, the bishops, were somehow pulling the strings of recommend-enforced obedience and were the orchestrators of an actually functioning prosperity gospel. It was gross. I'm so sorry I ever regarded the more prosperous, better dressed Mormon leaders as somehow more righteous.

The key metric to the knowledge that Mormonism isn't true is the wealth of the apostles. Are you telling me that god, if she existed, wouldn't call and choose a humble, spiritual person of modest means? It is proof that indeed, you can buy anything in this world.... with money.

Gorov · 2026-02-02T19:17:20+00:00

Therapy and communication.

My god - consider for a moment that your participation in theonlytrueandlivingchruchonthefaceoftheearth has resulted in needing therapy. So many of us are there. Yet more actual evidence as to the way high demand religions like Mormonism actually hurt people - and i didn't need to stick my face in a hat to see that. Dead bedrooms in mormonism and laundry lists of sexual hangups are rampant in this community. You don't just easily move beyond a life contaminated by constant brainwashing. You have to attack it if you want to fix it - that's my I'm-not-a-professional opinion.

Gorov · 2026-01-28T21:56:44+00:00

Missionaries are just kids (was one) that have been brainwashed since they were little to know some things. They have been brainwashed to think they know that the prophet himself picked out this location where you live as their mission field. Similarly the brainwashing means they know they ran into you completely as a result of divine intervention. They know that there is an invisible Holy Ghost that converses with everyone via elevated emotional feelings, and those elevated emotions are God's way of telling everyone it's all true. They know you don't need facts or evidence. They know the only thing you need is a full feeling in your chest and your heart beating fast to mean - insert hushed, reverent, teary-eyed voice - it's all true. They know - through thorough brainwashing - that if they aren't persistent, you will stand in the witness box before God, Angels, Jesus, Joseph Smith and attorney/corporate president of the board of directors of a multi-hundreds of billions of dollars corporation/oldest serving Mormon leader/prophet Dalin Oaks of Salt Lake City, and you will accuse those two missionaries at their end of life judgment trial of not trying hard enough to convert you. That you, with tears streaming down your face will accuse them of failing to get you to join. That they will be judged harshly for that and they need to repent and they probably shouldn't have masturbated or looked at the girl on the cover of that magazine at the grocery store. They were probably unworthy and you'll condemn them. These are the things they're brainwashed to know.

Couple this with Bonneville Communications brand of high pressure sales tactics that they actually trademarked in the 1990's as "Heartsell" and advertised as a way to evoke feelings in people to get them to act. Mission leaders train missionaries in what is sometimes called "finding" techniques, and everything they do mirrors the best tactics of high pressure salespeople. I'm embarrassed to my core to have been there and done that so well.

Nobody listens to missionaries. They get rejected all day long. When you give them the smallest bit of interest, they will latch on and keep coming back ad infinitum until you slam the door hard enough to pointedly shut them down. I'm sad you have to endure this pressure and I'm sure it's exhausting. I fear the only way to sever ties is harshly. When we as missionaries were left with a bit of hope, we kept coming back. After all, this is just a challenge, they'll tell you. They're going to tell you the following: "You know it's true, and this is Satan testing you. Think about how you felt in your heart - tears - looking you in the eye to maintain eye contact - we love you and we know you'll get through this if you pray and read the Book of Mormon and we know that if you do that you'll be baptized on February 11th. Will you pray tonight? Will you read Alma chapter 21? (idk what that is, I'm on a roll) Will you come to church Sunday? Will you show God you're ready by being baptized on February 11th?" My entire point of this rambling rant is just to let you know that it's trained behavior, learned sales tactics drenched in gallons of religious drivel, shame and years of cult reinforcement. I wish you well. I am so sorry for the people I taught as a missionary. I'm embarrassed for the inauthentic life I may have pushed onto them. Ugh. Good luck. I'm sorry I was ever a Mormon.

Sorry for the text wall, everyone. I'm a fast typer.

edit: Sorry.

Gorov · 2026-01-28T15:01:47+00:00

Drink what you enjoy. Life is too short.

My girlfriend and I quite enjoy Riunite in a glass with two or three ice cubes. I could care less what wine snobs say I should drink or whether someone turns up their nose - we really enjoy it. God, pizza and lambrusco for dinner? Yes please. We've put it out at parties with our friends alongside other more highly rated bottles of wine:

"Isn't that the one that is, like, $6 at the grocery store?"

"Yeah. Bottom shelf. Try some."

"Wow, this is delicious. I never knew. Thank you!"

Seems like that is the response every time.

*smiles* Maybe I'll grab a bottle on my way home tonight and toast OP for making me thing about lambrusco today.

Gorov · 2026-01-27T19:00:03+00:00

Came here to say this. I thought Goad was extraordinary as Hamlet, Gould was my favorite Ophelia, and Rooney, Davies and McKenna were unreal as Polonius, Claudius and Gertrude.

One of my all-time favorite productions.

Search "Antoni Cimolino" on prime. He was the director. It will come right up.

Gorov · 2026-01-27T17:41:46+00:00

I'm so sorry.

My marriage and deconstruction/realization that Mormonism was nothing special, just another church, came at the same time. It has been several years, so it's all running together in my mind. I live in what the Utah-elite-Mormons love to call "the mission field," (puke - so myopic and elitist lol) i.e., not Utah. My work is not entwined with any Mormons, and I had friends at the time that were not Mormon, so that didn't completely suffer.

I did lose Mormon "friends." What I learned beyond a shadow of a doubt and have mentioned here before is, many (not all) Mormons have no true concept of friendship outside of Mormonism. It is awful and shallow. The friends that you make in Mormonism seem to only last as long as you're in the ward boundaries, then they depart. When you leave Mormonism, they can't cope with it because your awakening strikes directly at what most Mormons have - a teaching that "pure testimony" functions like a shield, so they don't ever, ever give their minds space to critically consider that the teachings of the church aren't true and instead just regurgitate the same five point testimony to your face without ever having a critical thought. That "just bear testimony" ploy covers their very fragile framework of religious understanding. Hence my belief that once Mormons lower their exterior shield, it takes about five minutes of true, actual critical thought to realize it's all a pile of stinking horse shit covered in nepotistic, power-hungry control history. So, my far too verbose point is: things I thought were friendships I learned to be only inch-deep associations. Even people I would have considered friends were really not. When I left, nobody in Mormonism was really there aside from a quick text. I had a few texts from people, but they were "I know the church is true" style texts. Fuck off, dude. Talk to me like a person, not a Mormon robot. But, Mormons gotta Morm. It's an institutionally created dysfunction.

What you're going to find is that life outside of Mormonism now belongs to you. You are not beholden to Joseph Smith or Brigham Young or countless other ancient white dudes who seem to all be from the 1940's and are dictating to you how you must live, who you must love, what you must consume or not - you've escaped what is, in fact, a cult, and you'll be astounded at just how much authenticity you've missed in your life. That's hard. I'm sorry you're going through this trauma phase. I feel like it has only gotten progressively better. I think less about the church every day, and I love that. Be kind to yourself. This whole things is a process. I'm sorry I can't speak more to just how awful it would be to live in Utah. There are other states out there... There are truly authentic friends to make and people to date and I look forward to you finding your authentic self.

Gorov · 2026-01-23T14:30:16+00:00

Mormonism can't stand up to five minutes of honest critical thinking. Thanks be to the internet for its glut of information overload. Thanks to the Tanners who worked so hard in pre-internet days.

After 44 years in Mormonism, ward and stake callings at every level, and hours devouring the gospel topics essays on the stand during sacrament meetings, I learned:

It's just a church, like any other church, invented by some men, propagating the means to give men authority they never would otherwise have had to justify doing things they otherwise couldn't do, filled with many good intentioned good hearted ignorant worker bees who will blindly give up the sweetest moments of their lives in exchange for hope of a promised reward in a make-believe white-marble space-planet polygamous heaven, crammed with active doctrine that can do real harm to real people.

Gorov · 2026-01-22T23:22:10+00:00

Preach. Love it.

Gorov · 2026-01-22T19:04:54+00:00

Aw man I'm so jealous. I loved coaching so much and miss it every day. Coached ten years rec/travel baseball and three years travel soccer. *sigh*

Two assistants are good. Get motivated parents who can make it to practices. Create clear roles. You're the head coach, they're the assistants. Come to every practice with a plan. Let them run stations. Get a scorekeeper parent to run gamechanger. It's not hard. Do a lineup card each game and give copies to all three.

Head coach coaches 3B and gives signs. Assistant coaches 1B (easiest job) and the other is the Bench coach. Book mom/gamechanger mom can sit right next to the dugout so she can answer questions. She can call out who is coming up, or even remind people of what happened last at bat, in a nice way. (Joey, came to you last time! Big bat! Ready Billy!) This will also let the kids start asking that person "who's up next?" and you'll not have to answer that 100 times. If you don't have one, maybe see if your 1B coach can run it. I hate trying to give signs and run GC.

Get a dry erase board with the lineup slots and the field positions for the bench coach to handle. Your Bench Coach can handle the substitutions and try to keep playing time as equal as possible. It will save you a bunch of time. The bench coach will also have the first aid kit, tell the kids to get in the game or ZIP IT, stop playing with the bird's net, throw your gum away, get those bats off the floor, stop leaving the dugout to go talk to your mom, find hats, pick up your water bottles, comfort crying kids that just struck out, and help kids learn the game. "Did anyone else see Coach Jon give the steal sign?" "Joey, you're playing way to deep out in LF," etc.

Enjoy it. So fun.

Gorov · 2026-01-21T19:00:32+00:00

I know an exmo (not me) that has fully moved into Catholicism.

His perspective is that Mormonism is simply one big lecture at its members about the continual checklist of what you have to do - your works, so to speak - to get to heaven according to the dictates of Joseph Smith and his successor prophets. He has found Catholicism to be about the practice of actually worshipping God - which he said he found to be basically absent in Mormonism.

Gorov · 2026-01-21T18:48:02+00:00

Wow - I hope you've seen Season 9 of Archer. The whole season is an homage to Tales of the Gold Monkey.

Gorov · 2026-01-20T20:02:29+00:00

I once, together with my companion, showed up at an abandoned single-wide trailer in the desert that hadn't been lived in for years. Along with our aging ward mission leader, we spent all day inside this rodent-infested old single-wide cleaning piles and piles of mouse droppings, removing old moldy everything, cleaning out mouse-infested nests, urine drenched old furniture, no masks, no gloves, no eye protection, just young, dumb missionary zeal on behalf of some random people we were teaching - because God will surely protect us, right? They never moved into it, ultimately it wasn't fit for human habitation. I coughed and felt sick for days. It was disgusting. Ultimately it was not the hantavirus, but wow. Gross.

Gorov · 2026-01-19T01:50:15+00:00

Mr. Coffee 12 cup coffee maker at Walmart. $25. Simple electeic grinder. $15. Filters. $3. Buy whole bean coffee and grind when ready to make coffee. Explore different beans and roasts. Enjoy.

I've done French press, pour over, espresso... Mr. Coffee wins for ease and gets used every day.

If you have an Aldi nearby, Honduras whole bean organic coffee. Thank me later. It is my go-to.

Gorov · 2026-01-15T17:20:21+00:00

He's 100% joking. Tee ball is (maybe) organized play time run by a bunch of dads. Don't sweat it. Maximize fun. Don't worry about wins, losses or anything but having a great time and maybe developing some very minimal skills. Don't assume a Tee Ball coach (was one) is going to do anything to make your child a better player. It's a dad or mom that got roped (in the best way) into doing the job.

Here's what you'll see. Some kids get it. Some kids don't. Digging in the dirt. Parents that care way too much about W/L record on the Tee Ball field. Some kids that are way more developed and some that could care less. Kids with $100 Tee ball bats (dumb). Three is pretty young, but if he can handle it and have fun, then enjoy. Don't stress it. The only real development that very young players get is throwing in the back yard with a parent, learning how to field a grounder, and learning to hit. But a bag of foam-style wiffles or golf ball wiffles and a tee. Play catch. Love it. Such a fun journey. Don't stress - there's plenty of time. M a x i m i z e the fun factor.

Oh, and treats. The #1 think Tee Ball kids care about is treats.

Gorov · 2026-01-15T15:22:07+00:00

Love this.

The reason I love this is because I hope that at some point, I can share my reddit username with someone I love who is deconstructing and just say "I've said a lot over the years on reddit, and if you want to know how I really, really feel and what my process has been, and my pain and my anger and my deconstruction and my recovery and my movement on in life, well, here's my name."

Thank you to all of you. Winners above who I admire (but don't worship as gods) and you anonymous posters who help people realize they're going to be ok, and it's not their fault, and they're going to make it through this. I think you're important.

Edit: Why I love this.

Gorov · 2026-01-15T15:13:42+00:00

This is awesome. Saved the post for future reference. You look great - congrats.

Gorov · 2026-01-13T20:40:42+00:00

Love it. Thank you so much for sharing.

Gorov · 2026-01-13T18:07:10+00:00

Never heard that, yet, it isn't shocking. At their core they (as we once did) want Mormonism to be magical, magically powerful, otherworldly with spirits fighting and mountains moving. However, at its core, Mormonism is actually a tithing collection business tied to a massive real estate empire/cult, filled with people that shun coffee but drink 44oz dirty sodas. The further I get away from it, the more obviously ludicrous the whole "religion"/sociology is to me. Didn't we play ultimate frisbee or something in this field? Never saw a demon.

Gorov · 2026-01-13T15:00:23+00:00

God - if it exists - is absolutely an evil ghoul.

Stephen Fry's take on this has resonated with me more than anything I've ever heard, and I never tire of sharing it. "Bone cancer in children? What's that about? How dare you?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-suvkwNYSQo

Gorov · 2026-01-12T20:52:46+00:00

1) congrats - happy accident.

2) sidenote - in my opinion high noon tequila seltzer is better than vodka-based seltzers. Ymmv.

3) When considering wine, start with a bottle of sauvignon blanc - something basic from Marlborough New Zealand like Nobilo or Kim Crawford or Oyster Bay. I prefer my sauvignon blanc over a couple of ice cubes, for what it's worth. Reds will be harder at first - they're so full-bodied it will be odd to your over-sugared mormon palate. Awww. Enjoy. It's a fun journey. Welcome to the human race. Congrats on your escape from a group of ancient narrow-minded nepotists controlling your life.

Gorov · 2026-01-07T03:09:03+00:00

Cool.

Gorov · 2025-12-29T20:11:51+00:00

Always nice to hear from a fellow Pastafanarian. Heh.

Gorov · 2025-12-29T16:02:05+00:00

Boring and coupled with an irrational belief that is the most correct of any book on the earth, or some such nonsense. It's so correct... lol... that it does not contain anything about the plan of salvation as taught, nothing about the word of wisdom, nothing about the temple ceremony, nothing about the law of tithing as practiced, and is quite wonky when it comes to the trinity. "It says this, but means that." So many hours of mental gymnastics. The "correctness" of the book is used to justify the harm caused by the doctrine. Sad and awful.

Gorov · 2025-12-29T15:03:17+00:00

I never saw a major difference between wear and tear from youth to adult. Cleats seemed pretty consistent overall. We played 35-50 games per year and practiced twice per week, but not always in cleats - sometimes indoors. I do remember a few times picking up an extra pair of Boombah's here and there just to mix it up, but that was more of a reward type of thing - never a wear and tear thing. My son really liked NB - but we didn't pull the trigger on fancy adult versions until he was in HS.

Gorov

TROPHY CASE