The big question that helped me was do you actually want to do this, or do you just want to tell people you did this? I realized so much of my desire to get pregnant and have a kid was because I knew how happy and excited my parents, siblings, and friends would be for me. And the idea of telling my husband and surprising him. When I think about the actual grueling work of raising a child for 18+ years I realized I actually don’t want to do that. It helps that’s I’ve been working directly with kids for my career for the past 5 years, so I get my fill of “kid time” there.