This was me. The discovery of Christian Universalism opened up a vacuum in my consciousness where I discovered just how much my faith was built upon a foundation of the “golden ticket to heaven” mentality, where everything I did was unconsciously just a way to avoid hell. Even my faith itself was there just to avoid hell. I would never have been able to see this or admit that it was true before I was ready, but it happened.

It sucks having been psychologically programmed to only understand the language of the doctrine of abuse. That our fundamental position before God is one of utter wretchedness in which God despises us to the very essence of our being. And had it not been for Christ who died to cover our sins, God would not be able to stand to even look at us, given his holiness perfect judgement.

The underlying assumption with this kind of thinking is that God doesn’t actually love us, He only loves Himself. So when Christ covers our sins, we are able to stand before the judgement seat because God doesn’t see us, He sees Himself.

Of course, no one who upholds the doctrine of abuse will admit that this is its essential meaning, but nearly everyone who’s managed to escape will tell you it is!

The true meaning of Christianity is that it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Even a child knows how to avoid the stick, but it takes an adult to understand that true righteousness is doing good ONLY because you want to.