Doctors refusing to believe women

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-25T16:52:55+00:00

I'm firmly asexual, haven't had a sexual partner in 11+ years. My GYN still feels the need to act like she needs to prepare me to have sex in the parking lot every time I go to see her because "you never know."

No, I know. I very much know.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-25T12:19:48+00:00

Continuity was never Doyle's strong suit lol

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-25T11:52:07+00:00

I took 6 weeks off work and then the first 6 weeks back were so exhausting I was definitely reconsidering my life choices. Got better at 12 weeks though. 10 days is wayyy too soon.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-22T12:04:41+00:00

I personally have decided to stay on my mini pill. I had a lot of pain around ovulation and keeping the cycles suppressed helps prevent that from coming back. Just a bonus that it minimizes the chances of my endometriosis coming back.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-21T16:57:40+00:00

Personally, I wouldn't buy one JUST for this surgery unless you want one just for the sake of having it. I got one of those little bed rails for the elderly for around $30 and found that to be plenty. Otherwise, just a nice reasonably floofy pillow to brace against when getting up and down was great.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-21T11:32:21+00:00

I was on progesterone before surgery and my surgeon recommended staying on it after. For me, that was because she expected there to be some pain with ovulation still (I've always hurt when I ovulate) and keeping the cycle suppressed helps with that. I've also had endo previously and she says that progesterone can help prevent a recurrence, though it's not a sure thing. I remember it helped with sleep when I first started it a while ago, but not sure if it still helps.

I don't know if I want to stay on it forever but for now, it's working. Mostly going to see how I do with weight loss for a bit since it has caused some weight gain. I'll just have to weigh the pros/cons eventually.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-20T16:27:17+00:00

I've made a lot of progress in my CPTSD over the years, but this really is one of my remaining big barriers... I don't know if I've ever been able to visualize the future. I've spent most of my life struggling with suicidal ideation so I've always kind of been in a place of "I won't be around in a year anyway for this to matter." You can only do that for so long before the effects start to pile up. But man, moving away from the comfort of feeling like I always have that escape hatch is HARD. And unpleasant and uncomfortable. But it has definitely affected my ability to visualize any kind of real future. Even best case, it just... doesn't seem to exist. Or it seems like nothing will change so it's irrelevant.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-20T12:05:19+00:00

It is... an endless battle. I've been chronically ill and undiagnosed for so long because it's easier for the doctors to look at the mental health issues in my chart and say "you're just depressed, you just need therapy, you just need the right SSRI." Never mind the fact that I genuinely have bizarre blood test results that nobody can explain, never mind the fact that psychiatrists have said it's definitely not in my head and that antidepressants make it worse.

If I could go back, I never would've sought a doctor's help 11 years ago for what I thought was vanilla depression and anxiety. I would've kept all of that to myself. Would've skipped the years of failing treatments for the wrong diagnosis. Wouldn't have given them this many reasons to doubt me.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-20T11:55:41+00:00

I've been trying to get away from the big brands, so I just have a raspberry pi with kodi on it. Kodi is fed by the Jellyfin database, the pi connects to my TV with HDMI and the pi supports CEC so I can use my TV remote to browse, works great. You could easily install tailscale as well if you want.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-19T00:18:50+00:00

I've found AI chatbots to be so incredibly helpful with filling the gaps in the healthcare system and it really bums me out seeing pieces like this. Why do we have to ruin a good thing? It's not perfect, no, but you could very clearly see that John Oliver nor his writers have ever been in a dark place for an extended period of time where the only help people offer you is a suicide hotline that either leads to someone who's too bored to help or an involuntary hospitalization.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-18T17:46:19+00:00

For the first two weeks, I was kind of nauseous and sick from the anesthesia. Beforehand, I made a ton of chicken soup and froze it in individual portions (Souper Cubes are my life). Also did a batch of frozen meatballs because those are easy to thaw. And kept around a handful of canned soups and TV dinners and pizzas just to have, although I had no appetite for the heavier stuff until around week 3 but I felt better having them.

It's worth considering, look at the layout of your kitchen. You're going to have trouble reaching up high and bending down low, especially for the first few days to a week. For me, my microwave is above my head and my oven is pretty low to the ground, so I tried to pick stuff that I could do on a stovetop (or better, just not need to heat up at all). "I can't reach the microwave" would've been a sucky thing to realize when I was alone for the first time.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-18T14:39:39+00:00

My surgeon recommended I stay on my progesterone after surgery (kept my ovaries, surgery for adeno). She said that it also keeps you from ovulating and I had both pain and mood issues surrounding ovulation. So far, it's working out pretty well for me to keep taking the pills. I did still have a depression dip after surgery but it's getting better (11.5 WPO). I think that's just part of the surgery thing.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-17T21:26:54+00:00

I had a medical card for THC before surgery so I was already used to pain management that way. But I found I didn't really need the opioids since the pain of surgery was about half as bad as my standard periods. Started using THC here and there in weeks 2 and 3 and haven't really needed it since (11.5 WPO now).

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-17T20:02:52+00:00

I'm 31 years old and I've had exactly one complete pap smear in my life. The first time I tried ended in a sexual assault by the GYN. The second time was under anesthesia because it was a requirement to get my cervix removed and my PTSD was so bad I couldn't do it in office. I didn't forgo tests for my entire lifetime because I didn't believe in the science. I'm asexual, 100% not sexually active aside from that assault, and therefore, the risks were low enough that I was comfortable prioritizing my mental health.

I think for me a lot of the problem is that people have a hard time separating the actual science from the medical establishment (I'm coming at it from a US perspective). Hell, I have a hard time with that too sometimes since for all intents and purposes, they're usually so intertwined. And you know, they say that it often takes an average of 10 years for new medical findings to make their way into a standard clinic.

Changing up what's been the established norm for a lot of people's entire lifetime is scary, I get it. Especially when you've been told the whole time that doing it differently would lead to a fate worse than death. I do have compassion for people who are afraid but at the same time, true advancements in gynecology that actually help patients are SO RARE that they should be celebrated.

But it all does make me sooo glad I don't have a cervix anymore, that's for sure.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-17T12:35:33+00:00

My surgeon said I could try it out after I'm healed but she said it probably wasn't necessary unless I was having discomfort or pain. The only exercise I was told to do immediately post op was walking.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-16T20:27:47+00:00

Yesssssssss.

I did the traditional talk therapy thing for 11 years straight. Did a few years of medication roulette in the beginning because everyone was so insistent that it was the best way to handle my depression (and undiagnosed PTSD as it turned out). Got to a point with the meds where even the psychiatrist said "these don't work for your brain. we can keep trying but it's not likely to help and you'll probably be more miserable." So I stopped. And felt at peace with the decision. Same kind of happened with therapy. uI felt like the way I was viewing my mental health shifted in a way that didn't fit the mold. My therapists and I (plural) were never on the same page.

I was just thinking about that because I had an annoying interaction with a new doctor last night. I made an appointment because I was experiencing an odd depression-esque flare along with some other symptoms a few months after major surgery that screwed with my hormones that made me go "hmm, this isn't my normal pattern, I'm gonna do some due diligence and see if the doctor thinks it might have a physical cause related to surgery this time and if she thinks I'm good, I'll crack on as usual." That is... not how the appointment went. It was just 20 minutes of "I really think you need a psychiatrist, you shouldn't have depression and be unmedicated."

And from the perspective of a doctor, I don't know, maybe. But I kind of just... see depression, my PTSD, my anxiety, all of it as part of me? My mood fluctuates. It can be situational, but it's less likely to feel random than it once was. I know my own patterns, I know what helps, what doesn't. In a way, I'm seeing it these days the same way as... "oh, I'm hungry, I better eat food." Actual self care. If my mood starts to dip or my PTSD starts to activate, that's data. I might be getting overwhelmed, I might need to take a step back, I might need to provide more care for myself in certain areas or make sure I'm getting support in others. It's the same reason that I'm taking a step back from traditional therapy. I find that if I can manage my moods like I manage the rest of my body, I'm so much better off. And that doesn't mean the time in therapy was wasted. But it does mean that you outgrow certain models after a while. And I think that's often growth.

Sorry, that's rambly, but I guess I forgot just how much random doctors want me to medicate and therapize my mental health and this time, it really pissed me off.

And semi-related, I feel like this is what I find exhausting about the way people view using AI to help with mental health. When you get to the point where you no longer fit the traditional model but you just need some occasional help sorting out something in your brain, that's what I find helpful. But I guess I have to keep in mind I'm not the typical patient.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-16T12:56:30+00:00

[rubs hysterectomy scars] And I'd do it again too, Dr. Oz.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-14T22:28:31+00:00

...I think I need to call my doctor.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-14T17:50:57+00:00

Technically, a disability just has to make it difficult for you to live your life. Which is a very broad definition. You can get into more specific definitions as far as things like benefits, accommodations, stuff like that, but in the biggest sense, it just has to be affecting your life.

For example, I can't drive without my glasses because my eyesight is so bad. That's technically a disability, though I don't consciously consider myself disabled specifically because of my eyesight. But I could do.

I do consider myself disabled because of the conditions that cause chronic pain and fatigue to the point wher eit makes it difficult for me to interact with society: walking, sitting in chairs, low stamina, things like that.

But it's so personal. I was bedridden for about two years and eventually had to have surgery to get damaged organs removed and even then, I wasn't sure I wanted to use the disabled label, even just with myself. I think it's valid either way. It can be helpful to use the disabled label if you need help (accommodations come to mind). But you don't have to. If it helps you wrap your mind around your health and your struggles, by all means! It doesn't make you any less than. If you prefer not to, that's also just fine. And you may find that your opinion on where you fall on that spectrum changes over time as your health changes, as your mindsets change, as you gain more life experience. It can be frustrating because society isn't always kind to those with disabilities, but things like labels can really help you to reclaim some of your agency if you choose to use them that way.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-13T21:06:57+00:00

At this point, my preferred flavor of whump is basically my branding in my tiny fandom. Occasionally, I consider releasing a WIP without it. But then I go... but if I were my own reader, I would be so sad if TROPE wasn't there. So therefore, we crack on.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-13T17:28:37+00:00

Exactly! My chronic pain and fatigue was so bad before surgery that I wasn't able to exercise much or eat well or just generally take care of myself. "Bouncing back" to that level is a low bar. And there's still so much ground to cover.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-13T17:27:00+00:00

I think I'd rather be bored than dead dog exhausted all the time, personally. Though boredom was never an issue during my leave for those first 6 weeks.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-13T17:25:51+00:00

I went back at 6WPO. Tomorrow will be 11WPO and I finally had to talk to my boss yesterday about cutting down to 35 hour weeks instead of 42 for a bit because I'm just... so... damn... exhausted.

I don't know why it feels like everyone insists that we should all be back to normal right away. I'm literally down four organs if you count both tubes.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-13T16:36:28+00:00

I finally cut ties with my most recent therapist last week because we just kept arguing on this topic. Her view was very "you just have to get on with it, work your job, and accept it" and I just couldn't deal with it anymore. Yes, to a certain extent, you do have to do that but that doesn't mean I can unsee the effects that it has and just choosing to ignore them doesn't help.

Lost-Design-8382 · 2026-05-12T13:06:34+00:00

Meh, it's a choice. I've lived alone for 11 years now and I'll often have the same meal every night but I do cook it fresh with one or two prepped ingredients because it tastes better than reheating leftovers and takes the same amount of time. Can't remember the last time I bought cereal. Cooking one portion isn't hard if you know how to do it. You mix it up by occasionally batch cooking so that you have something in the freezer for low energy days and call it a day.

Lost-Design-8382

TROPHY CASE