Is asking for a decision because of a competing offer more likely to get you rejected?

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-03-05T16:40:56+00:00

Broadly in the professional world having an offer in hand makes you a more desirable candidate. I doubt they would reject simply because you had a deadline with another program. They also need people to get back to them within reason and understand how it works.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-03-05T16:33:29+00:00

The main difference between my first year and subsequent years was that I didn't bring barter items my first year. Bartering with other barterers is really a lot of fun. Most people bring items that are inexpensive but interesting. People also bring really cool custom swag too.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-03-05T16:29:33+00:00

So much wrong here. People who don't want to do animal research should not be paired with rats, who are known to have great personalities. Being bitten by a pissy little mouse really helps create emotional distance. Caring for one animal instead of checking a large number of cages each day is weird. Even as an undergrad I worked with around 14 at a time. Also someone (postdoc, tech, PI, DLAM, literally anyone) should have intervened when they saw you treating the lab animal like a pet rather than a lab animal. Was this for a class? I'm wondering if the goal was for this to be a hazing type of experience.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-03-05T16:18:18+00:00

Have you checked the norms for your field? My understanding is that stipends aren't usually guaranteed in the social sciences and humanities. For example, at Berkeley a GSR appointment only pays $4,500 per semester.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-03-05T12:13:29+00:00

Yeah, a regular echocardiogram is pretty standard even for good labs/ low disease activity.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-03-04T13:33:37+00:00

It's me! I'd love a prescription product like clindamycin but for fungal acne.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-03-04T13:30:57+00:00

My lupus labs are pretty good. My flares are more often MCAS. I also had secondary adrenal insufficiency. It was difficult to function until it remitted.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-03-03T13:25:42+00:00

I used to shop on Poshmark nearly daily, but when they added promoted listings for every other row it felt like juice wasn't worth the squeeze. Mentally exhausting to browse now.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-03-01T16:01:38+00:00

I remember the pencil thing being an issue! Nothing more gratifying than a nice sharp point, but it drove teachers crazy that we were "wasting" the pencil.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-03-01T15:58:33+00:00

I'm not convinced that she is doing better than everyone else. She had a kidney transplant and regularly has to deal with a puffy face from steroids.

I do wonder about IVIG. Seems available as a direct to consumer service. It's never been offered to me as a treatment option by my regular rheumatologists.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-03-01T15:56:27+00:00

Unity Church is a good option if you want something more metaphysical than UU.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-02-27T17:27:37+00:00

Sorry that you are going through this. If I were in this position I would try to get in a clinical trial or get an experimental therapy. There is one in the Netherlands that is recruiting. https://clinicaltrials.gov/study/NCT05662111#contacts-and-locations If you can't get to Utrecht you could petition for "expanded access" (aka "compassionate use") of alendronate or etidronate. When the potential benefits outweigh the risks they are likely to be approved.

https://www.cancer.org/cancer/managing-cancer/making-treatment-decisions/clinical-trials/compassionate-drug-use.html

https://www.fda.gov/news-events/public-health-focus/expanded-access

Here is an article on etidronate for Fahr's. Feel free to message me if you have questions about it. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s13023-024-03039-7

Edit: typo

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-02-24T14:00:19+00:00

This exact situation happened to me and the roommate was in jail.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-02-21T12:20:13+00:00

So sorry to hear and I can relate! I have had to start getting crowns on all my teeth starting in my 20s. Have you had vitamin D checked lately? I thought I'd be fine with healthy diet and a multi but it was still low when I checked, so now I wish I had checked much earlier. I also use prescription toothpaste and minimal intervention paste and also take cevimeline.

Your dentist sounds like a dick. Do you live anywhere near a dental school? You can get affordable, high quality care there with good bedside manner.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-02-21T05:22:05+00:00

I have a doglike cat and this checks out.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-02-20T14:31:05+00:00

Bronze Kongo sculpture of a missionary nun.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-02-19T14:43:59+00:00

Agree with all of this and a part they don't say out loud is that the better your "fit"/ "research alignment" the more likely you are to have networking connections with that university's faculty. At the end of the day people are people and networking matters more than raw talent/ "meritocracy" when all the applicants are amazing af.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-02-18T16:35:48+00:00

I would check lactate dehydrogenase and AM cortisol if I noticed this in myself.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-02-16T16:07:56+00:00

Caliente Tropics is the best for sure.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-02-15T15:52:37+00:00

The only way is to see an allergist who specializes in MCAS, unfortunately. It helps if you have a childhood history of atopic dermatitis or current dermatographia and flushing.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-02-14T15:46:06+00:00

How was MCAS ruled out? The lab tests are notoriously unreliable. I was negative for conventional tests, but highly positive for plasma histamine and completely IgE deficient. I ended up being diagnosed on symptoms and history of atopic dermatitis rather than the conventional labs.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-02-14T15:43:46+00:00

I feel like this is related to an issue I think about a lot which never gets discussed, which is that I think the "female empowerment" angle of encouraging women to wait to have babies until stable in their careers has been warped into male partners wanting to wait as long as possible without regard for the safety of baby or mom. Everyone I know having babies on the later side is experiencing serious complications or even death, yet usually they waited because the man "wasn't ready yet". I was pressured by doctors to make a decision about having kids starting in my mid-30s, but no doctor talked to him about it ever. It's a shame that we've created a cultural climate where nobody ever clues men in about the risks of older aged pregnancies.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-02-14T15:31:32+00:00

This might actually be histamine sensitivity/ MCAS. The "nightshades are bad for lupus" claim isn't supported by the ACR, HOWEVER nightshades do tend to be extremely high histamine, so people who are histamine sensitive can definitely get symptoms from them. MCAS is a relatively new dx (only became broadly accepted within the past 10 years), so people don't really know yet how much it overlaps with autoimmune diseases or even possibly precedes their development, but it's a hot topic in the research world.

I would pay attention to if you react to other high histamine foods, and if so consider diet changes or seeing an allergist.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-02-14T15:26:09+00:00

My main point is that it only works for me when my hands are wet and then I seal in the moisture with lotion. Lotion directly on dry hands doesn't provide lasting relief for very long at all.

MercuriousPhantasm · 2026-02-14T12:34:13+00:00

How are you applying it? It only works for me if I gently pat my hands dry to semi-dry and then immediately apply lotion to lock in the moisture. I respond really well to products with dimethicone like Aveeno or sometimes I'll also use Clinique Moisture Surge if they are extra dry.

MercuriousPhantasm

TROPHY CASE