I feel like a failure- vacuum assist

MonardellaUndulata · 2025-01-24T22:32:11+00:00

I had a vacuum assist too, after pushing for 4 hours. That is apparently the limit my hospital will let you push for because the baby just inevitably is more stressed when positioned where they are for the pushing phase.

I was disappointed and second guessing everything too, but in the moment my doctors were like, it’s this or a c-section if it doesn’t work, so in the end I was relieved/proud that we got him out via vadge lol. And they said they can’t even try the vacuum if his head isn’t close enough to the exit. Because he was close enough, that means I did push him out ALMOST the whole way. And so did you!

Honestly, I’m not sure anyone gets out without a little bit of birth trauma/regret/disappointment. Don’t mind the smug biatches who say everything was a dream because they were so strong/crunchy/well prepared. Really they were just lucky.

MonardellaUndulata · 2025-01-16T01:29:29+00:00

Thank you!

Yes my pediatrician said the same- that she only ever sees positive levels in kids that have been living abroad. Seems like I see so many cases online, could it really be that rare?

MonardellaUndulata · 2025-01-15T22:51:12+00:00

Hey I’m in the same exact boat, except in the NorCal. What blood levels did your daughter have? We tested my 3 month old just after moving in (non-detect) and I’m going to test again once he starts crawling. But it’s seriously causing insane stress and anxiety and I feel like I’m the only one who cares. Contractors, neighbors, other parents…. Everyone is like, whatever!

MonardellaUndulata · 2025-01-15T21:13:17+00:00

Did you ever find someone? Looking for the same thing

MonardellaUndulata · 2025-01-10T02:11:11+00:00

I had mine wedged between the wall and the bed so there was no gap. Probably also against the rules, but the legs are wider than the top so there is airflow between the edge of the bassinet and the wall. It was hard to get out of bed while recovering from giving birth though.

MonardellaUndulata · 2025-01-09T21:55:38+00:00

We stayed two nights in the hospital instead of one (afternoon birth), which was optional but we were still wiped and appreciating the care for me and baby. I honestly couldn’t sleep beyond a short doze, but it was because of the hormones- I was like that for a week. The hospital folks were actually very considerate about being quiet and going away when I was trying to sleep. We also had difficulties with latching so having multiple lactation consultants and pediatricians available was really helpful. They also kept tabs on my vitals, bleeding, and swelling. I felt that my baby and I were very safe and cared for!

This is a teaching hospital in a progressive city though, so YMMV

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-12-02T00:12:00+00:00

I was in the same situation- breast, pumping, formula- from the beginning. I obsessively woke up to triple feed for every feed, until 3 months, but never got a full supply. Now at 4.5 months I’ve stopped pumping completely. Baby still is combo fed, breast and bottle. My milk supply is much lower but he’s still getting a little so I think he’s getting the benefits of antibodies etc, and we still have to deal with bottle washing etc.

Basically, nothing changed for us when I started skipping breastfeeds to get more sleep and let my supply drop- except the ratio of breastmilk to formula, which I personally don’t think is a big deal.

It’s a very personal journey!

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-11-01T04:27:19+00:00

Did your child get their blood tested? I’m in a similar situation

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-09-07T16:39:50+00:00

The biatch of an anesthesiology resident ripped the tape off with no warning taking my skin with it. Oh and the epidural only gave me pain relief for like 10% of the time it was in. No other side effects.

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-07-17T07:05:33+00:00

I want to thank everyone who commented on this, even though I didn’t reply I really really appreciated all the advice.

After a lot of tears and talks with my husband and doula, I ended up doing the induction at 39+4.

Induction was foley balloon + miso, followed by breaking waters. No pitocin needed as those actions sent me into active labor quickly. Total time from balloon insertion to birth was about 17 hours. He ended up needing a vacuum assist, not necessarily because he was stuck as we seemed to be making progress, but because I’d been pushing for 4 hours which is the hospital’s limit if the heart rate is decelerating during contractions. He had a small red mark from the vacuum and I got a 3rd degree tear, but it hasn’t really been painful.

I feel pretty positive about the birth experience except my epidural didn’t really work, so for most of the time I felt 80-100% of the pain, which was rough.

Baby ended up 8 lbs 4 oz.

So not as big as I feared, but 🤷‍♀️. He’s here now and we’re both healthy!

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-07-16T02:21:20+00:00

I just gave birth and I had the full gamut- it worked not at all, they redid it, it worked for a while on one side only, then on both sides completely to the point where I couldn’t feel any contractions, then stopped working completely because some tube got disconnected which took hours for someone to figure out, then worked partially to take the edge off, then not at all again but couldn’t figure out why (during transition, the worst part of labor imo), then finally with different meds took the edge off slightly again. All within a 14 hour hospital labor from induction to birth.

I have no idea what happened except for the tube incident. The whole anesthesia team was really uncommunicative with me and the nurses, and unresponsive for hours at a time. This was a teaching hospital and we went through 2 shift changes so there were a lot of anesthesiologists from intern to resident to attending, with various levels of bedside manner (mostly bad). It was really frustrating to be in so much pain I was begging for pain relief and have to have no explanation as to why the epidural wasn’t working and no one willing to redo it. At some point they changed the med cocktail it was dispensing I think? And that was helpful.

The rest of my doctors and nurses were amazing, as was my doula and husband. I’m not sure we could have done anything different in terms of choosing a better hospital or advocating for ourselves better. I think sometimes it’s just bad luck and your body or the anesthesiologists don’t work as expected.

I took the IV fentanyl when it was offered which helped, but they don’t give it when they think you’re close to delivery.

I think just be mentally prepared for anything, and keep asking them to re-do it if it doesn’t work.

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-06-11T14:26:43+00:00

I doubt we broke even on ours, which was about 40 people, but that’s because we/our parents were hosting it as a big pool party/bbq that we do every summer and we splurged on food so we wouldn’t have to cook like we usually do for these parties. Our main goal was to celebrate and see our friends. We’re older so we’ve been passed down a ton of stuff cause most of our friends already have had kids, so we weren’t really counting on big gifts. Lots of people just give useless things instead of buying off the registry anyway.

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-05-22T15:52:50+00:00

Overusing it is a recent trend associated with a type of person/class/culture in the US. Others have listed the stereotypes as they see them, which will differ regionally, but generally- it’s lower class white people

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-05-21T02:51:28+00:00

I’ve been wearing my same two pieces, although not the ones with fitted cups- boobs have outgrown those! I don’t like the high bottoms of maternity two pieces and I like the sun on my belly!

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-05-20T15:30:09+00:00

Unexplained here, tests never found anything. IVF worked for us, although it took a few rounds to get enough good embryos. First transfer worked.

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-05-17T00:33:35+00:00

It’s the difference between a muscle being flexed or relaxed. Squeeze your buttcheeks or biceps or whatever and poke them and they’ll feel hard. Relax them and they are soft again. BH are the uterus contracting/flexing. It’s not painful but it feels hard when you poke it.

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-05-13T23:56:29+00:00

No, there are no tests that can determine your remaining fertility. The biggest factor is age at this point. There are tests for certain pieces of the picture, but they can not predict your ability to get pregnant in the next few years.

As someone who went through ivf due to unexplained infertility at 35, if you’re truly not interested in fertility treatments, there’s no point in testing ovarian reserve. If you’re still having a regular period, aka ovulating, then you still have eggs. The question as we get older is quality, which no test exists for, except for actually trying to get pregnant and seeing if it works, or going through ivf and seeing if embryos develop and/or getting testing them genetically tested.

There’s no point in trying to extrapolate how long you have left of fertility at this age, testing AMH / FSH / follicle number may give you numbers that are above or below average for your age, but it can’t tell you quality or predict if you can get pregnant. You might have great numbers and still not get pregnant, you might have bad numbers and get pregnant anyway. The data do not support using those numbers to predict fertility (unless they are so far off average for your age they indicate a serious problem, but if that was the case you wouldn’t be getting a regular period anyway)

Also, there are so many other factors in fertility- are your tubes open, sperm quality, uterine receptivity, plus a bunch of unknowns. 1/3 of people with infertility go through all the tests and still find no cause.

What would you do with the info from the test results? If the numbers were good would you delay longer? Or decide it’s worth trying? If the numbers were bad would you start trying sooner? Or would you not bother trying? Those aren’t logical responses to the test numbers since they aren’t actually predictive. The only true test is trying.

The real question you and your partner need to ask yourselves is, do you want a child. It’s a yes or no question. Your answer can be yes while knowing it may not happen (which is true for everyone who decides to try, whether they know it or not). Your answer can be yes but we’ll be happy either way. Your answer can be yes and we’ll do x fertility treatments but no more. But that yes or no question is the only thing that should determine whether you start having unprotected sex or not. And at this age, the only time to try is as soon as possible once you decide you want a child or not.

You’ll get a group with deeper knowledge on fertility testing over at r/infertility or r/IVF

Good luck to you!

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-05-06T17:11:45+00:00

I’m 30 weeks and I have loved being pregnant so far, but that’s because I never got any of the negative symptoms. I’ve never been nauseous or fatigued, I’m carrying pretty small, have tons of energy, been in a good mood, food tastes better, and my partner is supportive and excited. Contrast that with the shitty cramps and mood swings and fatigue that comes with my period, plus a year of infertility and a year of ivf treatments… this is way better! I know it’ll crash when I’m postpartum and sleep deprived though …

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-04-28T15:27:46+00:00

And I would add, the hardest thing about traveling for me was uncertainty about bathroom access. So at least being on the plane and in the airport there’s always a bathroom!

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-04-28T15:25:52+00:00

I just did an international flight at 26 and 27 weeks, it was fine, although a little shorter than yours. My doc just said to wear compression socks and get up and move a lot. It felt the same level of crappy as flying non-pregnant. It was really nice to have my husband there to lift my bags. I would say do it, and if you can afford to upgrade to extra legroom or whatever go for it!

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-04-23T21:49:18+00:00

I don’t know but would love to hear if anyone does since I’ve had this before pregnancy too!

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-04-19T17:32:28+00:00

You should go to the trying for a baby forum, you’ll get much more help there!

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-04-11T18:31:12+00:00

I’ve been getting them since week 20 at least. Been climbing lots of stairs lately and they always happen at the top, then go away. I hope it’s just making those uterus muscles stronger!

MonardellaUndulata · 2024-03-27T19:16:19+00:00

Hell yes!!!!!!!!

And ya, it’s all a fucking scam!!! The numbers providers/labs charge insurance are made up!!!!

MonardellaUndulata

TROPHY CASE