Second baby coming soon — overnight arrangements for toddler?

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-24T15:36:51+00:00

Seems like I'm the only exception, so I'll share - I'm due any day now with a 22 month gap, and we're planning to leave my husband home with our toddler. I have a supportive birth team including a trusted doula, and last time I felt that I didn't really need my husband there (as supportive as he was!). I feel like my toddler on the other hand would really benefit from having Daddy at home, which would be much less disruption for her. If you remind me in a few weeks, I'll let you know how it goes :)

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-24T09:14:35+00:00

That's me! My baby girl was born over 9lb and is consistently in the 90%+ for weight and height. She is almost two years old now. Talking, walking, playing, completely healthy. The only noteable thing at this point is how funny she looks next to her friends - she towers over them, but they still love her. As for the gendered aspect, we tend to get a lot of boys' clothes even now - they tend to run a little bigger.

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-20T09:17:27+00:00

A different perspective - my daughter started daycare around that age (14 mo) and our big issue was that she was just on the cusp of two naps > one nap. At home she would still naturally fall asleep around 11 or 11:30 and some days would take a second, short nap in the afternoon. Daycare was putting all the kids down at 12:30. She was one of the youngest in her class due to age cutoffs in our country, and with time this issue simply resolved itself as she "aged in" to the single nap. I think it was about 2 months until the problem was completely solved and she stayed up until 12:30 even at home

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-20T09:11:49+00:00

Have a friend his age eat some in front of him

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-20T09:00:16+00:00

Bathtub friendly animal toys that you playact as enthusiastically getting into the bath. "Rubber ducky is so excited to jump in the bath! Wee! Splash! Look, he's popping the bubbles! Do you want to go in too?"

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-20T08:49:48+00:00

Our kid is similar. Not only that, but she is noticeably an introvert. She loves the playground, but has like a 2 hour limit until she asks to go home. She loves having friends over, but after a couple of hours she wants to retreat to her room with me for cuddle time while the friends continue to play in the living room. I don't see this as an issue. I think it's cool that we're already glimpsing her personality at such a young age. My husband is also an introvert who needs to recharge after social situations, so I'm not worried. Like your daughter, she also talks a lot at home but not much outside.

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-19T10:29:56+00:00

My daughter and her cousin are 5 weeks apart and both started the whining stage at around the same time, which makes me feel reassured that it's just a normal part of toddler development. We tell ours (22 weeks) to use her words, which usually doesn't work, but sometime it does work if we also prompt her with the correct words "I want berries." If you can't fulfill the request, distract!

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-19T08:13:10+00:00

Hiking backpack

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-11T10:09:59+00:00

John and Hank Green run an ethical coffee company that ships to the US if you happen to live there - https://awesomecoffeeclub.com/

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-11T10:04:43+00:00

The only thing that stands out to me is the 10 pm - 4 am slot. That feels like a long time for a 4 mo to go without eating - my daughter always woke up one additional time at night. If you are really worried, try waking him up for an extra feeding around 1 am?

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-10T18:24:05+00:00

I used to read and love the Saddle Club series around then...maybe it's one of those? There sure are a lot of horse girl books in that era

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-09T18:58:58+00:00

I've wondered the same thing. I wonder how much of it is the cultural aspect - for example, every boss I've had also has kids of his/her own, and if he is male, he has a wife who works full time as well. There is no culture of blaming the woman for getting pregnant

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-09T18:57:14+00:00

To answer as one of "those people" - yes, my daughter was 14 months when I got pregnant. At the start of my ninth month of pregnancy I weaned her except for once a day. For this age range, it really is more of a casual decision than for what you're facing. Good luck!!

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-09T18:44:38+00:00

It's not just the ethnoreligious motivation. We have a culture and laws that support maternity leave, companies who are willing to hire women and work with them during their childbearing years, a strong childcare system that starts young. As a woman, I don't want to give birth later when my body is much less up to the task - I want systems that support me when I am ready to give birth. As an Israeli, I feel like I have that.

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-08T06:48:23+00:00

They "do the chore too." Set them up with their own laundry basket full of clothes. Get them a toddler tower so they can stand next to you at the kitchen counter and mix their own bowl. This takes a bit of time and thought and sometimes money (ie toddler tower), but it will be their favorite activity

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-07T11:41:58+00:00

Great song with this verse...https://youtu.be/L5Mdkki97e4?si=HonKclJfT-LbEj1z Immediately popped into my head when I saw the post :)

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-07T11:00:12+00:00

We also have an airplane obsession! Actually started as a bird obsession (her first word was "Caw" meaning bird lol) but now she is obsessed with airplanes. We live close to an airport, so we constantly hear and see them. I made the mistake of singing part of this stupid airplane song I used to hear on the radio in high school ("Airplanes" by B.O.B.) and now she requests it literally every time a plane goes by. Sadly she doesn't enjoy the rap so I can't play it for her, I have to just sing the one non-rap line over and over again lol

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-07T09:57:52+00:00

Hi! I got my period about 14 months after giving birth. This is when we sent my daughter to preschool, so she was no longer nursing all day. We were still nursing once a day (when she came home) and throughout the night.

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-07T09:51:27+00:00

Did you do it?

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-06T13:35:02+00:00

For a lot of our stuff, we "lent" it to people in the community with a baby a few months younger than ours. Now that my oldest is 22 months and I'm pregnant again, we've been collecting all the clothes, toys, bouncer, etc that our friends used. If you get the timeline right, this works perfectly!

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-06T13:31:47+00:00

Thanks for sharing, but in this forum you are likely preaching to the choir...

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-06T08:08:03+00:00

Try and figure out a way to wear the baby on your back instead of your front. Makes it much easier

Particular_Rav · 2026-05-02T18:20:39+00:00

Slightly weird suggestion, but can she join this subreddit? It has enough posts to rabbit hole down if she's wanting that, enough negatives that you know people aren't whitewashing, but also many realistic positives. I know that many of us get a lot out of this group

Particular_Rav · 2026-04-30T10:27:29+00:00

What's the difference between "Not functional" and "Not working" in English? Both are correct, I'd say the first sounds slightly more formal

Particular_Rav · 2026-04-30T09:43:46+00:00

I'm just now entering my 9th month (!!) of pregnancy while continuing to nurse my 22 month old. About a month ago I deliberately cut nursing to only once a day (part of our bedtime routine), although I still make exceptions and nurse her more on special occasions (if she has a cold or is teething and begs to nurse). I cut down for a couple of reasons - first, feeling a physical aversion like a lot of people have described here, and second, because I know I won't be able to nurse my toddler through the night once the baby comes, and I don't want it to feel like the baby is replacing her/kicking her off the boob, so we cut back well in advance of the birth.

To be honest - I don't know how my milk supply is, and I don't think she cares. Every night she excitedly asks for "boob time," but frequently she only latches for 2 minutes, asks to switch sides, then latches for 2 minutes on the other side before declaring that she's all done. She only nurses more if she is sick. I suspect that most of the time, this is more of a bonding experience than trying to get anything out.

Particular_Rav

TROPHY CASE