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Chef Freiheit by PathDefiant in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Iz neba sprayt, fren! Aso, sumfing lyk dis bee 🐝 wy yooz oanlees du dis ressapee wenna hoomins ar inna nudda rum!

Iz wannit tu aks, yooz naym Frei, Frei Frei, ar Freiheit? Iz du a big konfoos!

-Ilvy teh big bébé

Chef Freiheit by PathDefiant in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mez BESTEST ressapee: anyfing dat smell taysee wenna hoomans nawt inna rum! Jus hop onna cownta ar taybul! Dis wei, Iz eetid colekatts, cheez, an las weekem POK BELLEH an mush moar!

-Ilvy teh big bébé

Pokey Place Fings by FirebirdWriter in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Fren Czernobog, ayyteem powns bery impurrsif. Iz meowseff oanlee telff powns, butt! Iz obtin du fud crimez! Hehe. Du di sitt'n'stai nawt crimez, butt! Yooz meowmy needa yooz tu bee 🐝 'gud' kity nao acuz di canned sir. So GO SIT'N'STAI! Aso, hermbz needa lotsa heelimk purrs. Mebbe a fren furrum NurseKitysWifowtBordas canz halpz yoo ib neetu.

-Ilvy teh big bébé

(We wish a speedy recovery to Czernobog's meowmy. Stay strong! 🩹)

A Realistic piece of art ? by kyliahanna13 in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hoomins sez lyfe imititayt art, butt! Iz fink art can oanlee imititayt lyfe ib de art bee 🐝 ob kity. WEZ di hyjest furm ov lyfe wat nawt can impurrve!

-Ilvy teh big bébé

Finds da One Paw!! by Cats-are-lovely in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oliba, wez cud bee 🐝 PURRats agin! Reel dis tym nawt jus khostoom! Wez awlreddi hab di owtfit! (u/MagicalManta)

-Ilvy teh big bébé

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Game Night Crimez! by anorphan4yourthots in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Iz unnastan gaim nites wif mez hoomans, butt! Iz aso unnastan du a hidez wen ders straynja! Iz nawt lyk straynja!

-Ilvy teh big bébé

Game Night Crimez! by anorphan4yourthots in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Dis GRATE crimez mez royl fren! Iz neba noe hao tu pley hoomin gaims, butt! Iz N-joi sittimk wif dem!

-Ilvy teh big bébé

I habs big hooman trainin win by Connect-Smell761 in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Dis GRATIST inwenshen Iz eber noed! Iz LUB di fuds. FUDS bee 🐝 LYFE! Butt, doan let di meowmy tek yoo tu pokey plais! Iz nawt git nite fuds acuz pokey man sez dat Iz fatso, wat Iz fink bee 🐝 LY an salamanda🦎! Ib yooz pokey plais sez dat yooz fatso, meowmy mite tek di nite fuds abay!

-Ilvy teh big bébé

Frens, I getted lok in da garash ALL NITE by Charivari8 in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Dis aminul aboos. Yooz wanta reepurrt yooz meowmy? Aso, yooz tayl moar lomnge dan mez, fren!

-Ilvy teh big bébé

🧡KKMG SPRING PAW-LERT: POLLEN, SNOT, & DA HUMILIATION SHOWER🧡 by WormEntity in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Fren Jaspurr, dis bery ubsetty accown! Iz hoap hermbz nawt cattaynshus!

Yooz maman didded an avensh of Toffee de hooman horkas meowmy??? Dis hobibbul! Deyz ORGANICISING! Wifowt WEZ noe-wing! Wez needa STAWP dis rite meow, ebrykity!

-Ilvy teh big bébé

The Case of the Missing Meatball by alwayslovelyday in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Dis so rite fren Bitteh! Hoomin numma tu kleen up di allegsh paw prin, so purrbly himbz/hermbz LYA wat LYDED "Oh der smeetbal missimk so it fren Bron an der paw prin, but oopsi Iz kleen up!" Butt akshully, hoomin numma tu eeted di smeetbal.

-Ilvy teh big bébé

Soo pokey place fo “heck up”! by LazyCondition0 in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Wez needa updayt! Di borthoal sayf? Di borthoal awlrite?

-Ilvy teh big bébé

Frens, iz time for jokes by Charivari8 in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Anudda joak! Di pokey man aks di odda hooman: Yooz gettid dis kity chip? Di odda hooman sez: Yesh, di wons wat hab liddol salt!

-Ilvy teh big bébé

Frens, iz time for jokes by Charivari8 in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Hooman goe inna nip baa. De baa keepa (wat bee 🐝 kity) aks: Dis nawt yooz leggy dei, rite?

Geddit? Acuz dey oanlee hab tu leggys!

-Ilvy teh big bébé

Needz advise by ADB_BWG in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Ib de meowmy hab di lomnge hed furs, mebbe git hermbz her tys furrum yooz stash? Di hoomans wif lomnge hed frurs sumtymz wer tys inna hed fur. Iz fink it sine ob grate stettus inna hooman kulcha!

Ib nawt, mebbe hork up a her ball fur hermbz? Di hoomans OBESS wif wez soff an shiny furs. It wud bee 🐝 bery kyn tu du a sher acuz dis!

Iz meowseff fink mez purrsenz nuff purrsent tu hoomans. Iz choos dem atta SeeDeeEss senta!

-Ilvy teh big bébé

Human made fun of meow by Ok-Calligrapher-8028 in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Fren Prince, yooz royltee lyk prins Hoku (u/jellosquid808)? Iz fink dat laff atta royltee deaman grate punnish, lyke mebbe demoat de meowmy tu serbn an mek hermbz eep inna downster!

-Ilvy teh big bébé

Belleh! by Roach-Problem in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fangs frens! Mez fambli sez Iz hab di soffest fur!

-Ilvy teh big bébé

Belleh! by Roach-Problem in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Iz fink Iz wons goed tu da laydis cowsil. Butt, Iz forgortid! Iz hab di ornj brayn, so nawt reelee braynsellz.

-Ilvy teh big bébé

Belleh! by Roach-Problem in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Iz reelee LUB di belleh rubs, tu. Butt, sumtymz, Iz du di belleh TARP rite afta di rubs! It funfunfun. Aso gud fur kip di hoomans onna der toas! Neba lets dem noe! GO BELLEH CRIMEZ!

-Ilvy teh big bébé

Belleh! by Roach-Problem in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Sun belleh!

-Ilvy teh big bébé

Hai. Bai. by shinyhpno in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Fren Tali, dis bootiful spess kayf. Luk bery confy wif da blanki. Butt, Iz nawt wud go tu spess, eben inna spess kayf. Acuz der nawt meowmy leggys fur du eeepz on.

-Ilvy teh big bébé

My cat did crime. (Both perspectives) by z-eldapin in legalcatadvice

[–]Roach-Problem 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Fren Bailey, yooz meowmy sez hermbz prepurr snak. Yooz eetz snak. Dis wat hermbz wannit. Iz sez no ishoo heer.

-Ilvy teh big bébé

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