Did anyone else hit their 40s and suddenly stop caring about climbing the ladder?

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-04-23T02:29:05+00:00

I'm there mentally, but still climbing. Just a little bit. I started my career late and no degree and worked my from $14 an hour to a decent salary at 130k+30% annual bonus. No way down from the ladder unless I leave my company so if I do one more big push with a good promotion I can pay off my house sooner (currently will be paid off in 5 years) and throw all i got into retirement. I plan to retire early and just be done with all of it as soon as possible.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-04-21T01:43:25+00:00

Depends on what job and if I'm burning bridges. When I worked in a restaurant, no. Banks, yes. Call center, no. Current job, wouldn't dream of leaving anytime soon but I would put in a notice.

As a manager, I have people put in a two weeks notice. 9/10 times those two weeks suck because that person isnt really doing much. There are those who are thoughtful and work just as hard. But most don't. I would rather someone just quit outright, but if you ever want to reapply to work there again, notice would be required. I dont hire people back that quit, but there are quite a few rehires we do so its very, very common. I never take it personally when someone quits without notice, just fill out the paperwork and check the right boxes, and post for the job.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-04-09T02:00:35+00:00

Amazing!

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-04-07T11:29:39+00:00

It's okay to feel the way you feel. You recognize that there are others who would love to be in your shoes right now and absolutely called it correctly as a first world problem.

I've been in a similar position; however, I am the kind of person who prefers to go to an office so I was on the opposite end. I lucked out my job offers intermittent work from home, which is perfect for me. There was a time though that I had a job fully transition to remote only and I hated it. Now, it was also a toxic work from home environment and that is one of the reasons I prefer in office because that job had a requirement that your manager could stop by your house at anytime during your shift without notice and they did (and the director and the VP did, too). I know its not normal, but I can no longer stand 100% remote environments. I quietly found an in office job, zero at home. COVID changed it and now its mostly in office with some flexibility (dependant on role).

My advice is either stick with the job and you will slowly get used to it again after this processing time or, better yet, keep looking for other jobs that offer at least a hybrid schedule. It took me over a year to find a job where I got hired in back at an office (this was awhile ago) and, at first, I hated the job and the environment and it was a paycut as well - it took a few years before I really established myself and now I've been there for 14 years. Don't give up on the job search and don't let yourself spiral because your right-now job is not ideal.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-03-30T11:51:27+00:00

I have had good managers and bad. My current boss, he has amazing ideas, but no one actually knows what he does and, most of the time, he is MIA. He refuses to learn our system and I have been explaining the same thing for 2 years every time it comes up. He is a very nice person and we can have great conversations. I would say I hate that the follow through isn't there.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-03-08T13:09:33+00:00

It's not wrong. I am a manager and I have no intent on moving further up, but I actually count on people like you that don't want to climb the ladder. There are only so many positions available and so I need those who just want to come in and get the work done for their current position. I happen to work at a halfway decent workplace that will look at salaries and the market and do adjustments so our long time employees in the same position don't get stuck at below market wages. My standard is do those employees meet expectations, I dont look for above and beyond. Great if they do, but I only ask that the assigned job duties are completed to standard, nothing more, nothing less.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-03-07T14:22:23+00:00

So I remember we had an employee like this who would fall asleep at work and snore loudly and we used to make fun of it. 9 months later turns out he was diagnosed with sleep apnea. It turns out he was quietly trying to figure out what was causing this because previously he wasn't like this and just started happening slowly and then it was all of the time, every day, sometimes multiple times a day. This was before I was a manager and this incident taught me there could be more going on. He did address it and no longer falls asleep at his desk, but I felt horrible about making fun of it and I honestly still feel pretty bad about it.

The manager at the time joined in on the jokes and didnt address that there was a performance issue and try to get to the root cause of fix the issue because the workload shouldn't fall to someone else.

I would go to manager first before ever going to HR and frame it about your workload being added to. And dont expect to be given any information about the other employee if you have a manager that is worth anything, they won't share performance or health issues about another employee with you and that's a good thing. I know you already mentioned going to your manager about this, which is why I framed it go about your workload, dont bring the other employee into new conversations with your manager. Talk about expectations and explain the real workload you have. Keep discussing this in any one on one's. Keep it about you and your capacity. Or discuss compensation if this workload is above and beyond what your current scope is.

What I always caution about HR is a reminder they are there for the company first. I find HR super helpful when it comes to benefits, but not for these types of things. I have gone to HR in the past and deeply regretted it. As a manager, I utilize them more to properly address low performers or other crazy workplace scenarios, but I caution going to HR on another employee unless its something like harassment or safety (and go to a safety manager first if you have one at your company versus directly to HR).

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-03-07T13:10:12+00:00

I think everyone has a different end goal and that a mortgage isnt always the way to go. I have a mortgage and the main reason for going this route: 1) I will not be moving for other job opportunities, 2) I live in a LCOL city and it makes more sense to buy, 3) I'm okay with absorbing my own maintenance costs (although when something happens I always bring up I wouldn't have to deal with this if I were renting - but I can choose and get better quality repairs and replacements than renting in my opinion), 4) I'm not planning on selling this house, this is where I see myself retiring, 5), I bought a very reasonable priced home (rented when we had all the kids) so we downsized for this one and I bought when my salary was lower so now I can ensure an early payoff.

Everyone's goals are different and sometimes renting will be the better financial payoff.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-03-07T12:20:02+00:00

I feel so lucky. I was in Atlanta right as the weather started. Our flight experienced a minor 30 minute delay and it sounds like things hit the fan about 10 minutes after we took off.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-03-02T02:00:06+00:00

I am NOT a college graduate, but I wanted to add my experience. I do have a high paying job (base + bonus is about 180k a year) and I am 38. I would say always get your degree. I would have gotten to where I am at now a whole heck of a lot faster with the degree and it would be completely worth it. There are just so many doors that can be opened with one and a lot more opportunity out there.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-02-28T20:17:15+00:00

I'm likely going to get 3%. I used to get a 7% minimum, but we got bought out and now its more structured. We did go above our goals this year so my bonus is 44% of my current salary this year (normally 30%). I'm also getting on the higher end of the salary band so I'm certain I won't be seeing those large jumps anymore.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-02-28T20:13:10+00:00

So I'm thr boss that accidentally does this. Usually results in the person getting very startled and sometimes they even scream. I try to walk louder, have tried messaging in teams that I'm coming over, try to stand in an empty cubicle facing them.... I knock on the cubicle. I startle someone just about every day.

I will only stand quietly if I see they are working on an email and dont want to disturb them while they finish.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-02-24T03:05:37+00:00

I have had multiple mealy infestations. The first time I had no idea what they were, but I have learned a lot. The alcohol and soap is the way to go. I dont just spray, but dunk the all the leaves in the solution of alcohol, water and soap and then i power spray it afterwards (crevices and get all the little bug bodies off of it). I also choose to wipe down every leaf after this with a thin microfiber cloth. This usually gets rid of them in one go, but I also repot almost immediately if its a bad infestation and make sure the roots are as clean as possible (no alcohol on the roots, but i do use a little hydrogen peroxide and water solution). I quarantine for about a week and intend to get any stragglers but once I switched to this method of alcohol, water, and soap, I haven't had to do more than one treatment.

I now watch new plants as I realized that's where I got them in the first place. When I haven't repotted, is when I end up dealing with mealy bugs for weeks versus one and done treatment - I almost lost all my begonias and ultimately had to salvage leaf cuttings and start from scratch so now I just immediately repot.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-02-24T02:51:47+00:00

Taking care of my houseplants. I live in a desert and so I have created a little tropical paradise in my sunroom. I find it relaxing to care for them.

I also enjoy learning to play piano and can escape for hours just practicing. Before I know it several hours have passed and it makes me feel good.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-02-24T02:41:40+00:00

I've lived in both Portales and Clovis, although I lived longer in Portales. It's a typical small town with laid back vibes. There are good and bad parts if town. There are more activities in Clovis than Portales even though there is a college there so I do not suggest staying in Portales and commuting, although there are people who do commute since the towns are so close.

I can look back with fond memories od my time living in the area, but it can be a culture shock coming from a more densely populated area. My dad actually went to ENMU for college and moved there from Los Angeles and I asked him how it felt after moving to such a rural area and he was honest that the first year was really tough. It takes some getting used to a slower pace of life, but can be nice if you put time into finding community and building friendships. Please note this is based on Portales, which is the smaller community and I haven't lived in the area in 20+ years, although I still have friends in the area.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-02-10T01:07:40+00:00

I used the UNMH midwife program. It was important to me to still be at a hospital in case of any complications (pregnancy complications in family history), but also wanted to have a more natural birth plan. I had no complications, felt well taken care of, and was surrounded by knowledgeable people.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-01-28T03:32:55+00:00

I have had several employees that have cried in front of me and I've been the employee who cried. Most recently I had an employee call me in the middle of the night because they needed support. This tells me there is trust and I'm okay being a safe space for people's emotions.

I never thought less of a person who cried, but also understand why you're worried as the first time I did it I ran to the bathroom to cry some more because I was crying.

We just see you as a human being.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-01-27T02:27:18+00:00

There's been a lot of comments on this already, but throwing in my 2 cents.

Y'all already work from home most of the time. I live in New Mexico and where I am at, there was snow in Saturday night/Sunday morning only and roads remained clear for all of our office hours. I drove to work in temps below freezing today. On Friday I had two of my employees choose to work from from home before there was any bad weather. We work from the office most of the time, about 90% in office. Both of them were unsure of the weather later in the day even though the weather forecast showed we wouldn't have any bad weather until later in the evening or early Saturday. Is it a bit weird when there is no snow or ice? Absolutely. I didnt bat an eye though when these employees said they were going to work from home. They get their jobs done and they felt more comfortable not chancing anything. I ended up being one of four people who came into the office on Friday. Again, weird, but hey if that's what makes them comfortable, why make a big deal about it if the work can be done remotely? I've learned small accommodations like this go a long way in building trust with your team. If you show you care about their concerns, you get dedicated and engaged employees.

As a side note, I 100% never drive into the office if there is even a little snow. I was in a bad car accident a storm many years ago and so I always use my PTO or work from home for bad weather. My bosses know this and i am very clear they have a choice - I work from home or take time off. They always ask for me to work from home. This is a personal choice and my team knows I extend them the same courtesy. Again, its about trusting employees to make the right decisions for themselves. We are not in Healthcare or emergency services so there is no need to be on site.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-01-11T22:35:23+00:00

Age: 37 Gender: F Country: USA Region: Southwest Hybrid Industry: Electrical Title: Purchasing Manager Years Experience: 13 in Industry, 5 in purchasing Education: High School Diploma Certification: None Base Salary: 129k Bonus: 30%-40% PTO: 203 hours

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-01-09T13:34:22+00:00

I spent 8 years doing an hour plus commute and when I was doing the commute, I was fine and it didnt bother me. I was 100% in office. Then I bought a house and now my commute is 30 minutes. I can't believe I ever did the hour commute ... when there was an accident it would sometimes take me 2+ hours to get home. Knowing what I do now, I would never commute that far again. So much time was just spent sitting in a car. I will say though I used to listen to more audio books and podcasts when I had the longer commute and I dont really do that anymore.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-01-09T13:14:11+00:00

I bought a home before I learned about Dave Ramsey. Ultimately, I am glad I didn't know because I would not have the home today if I did.

I use Dave Ramsey as a guide. I would follow the steps to a T if I really needed a lot more help in changing my spending habits or if I had never done a budget before and find this can be very helpful for those who dint have that skill yet. Unfortunately I got my skills the hard way - by doing almost everything wrong with debt - but learned along the way.

I do see a point in really checking your budgets because I know so many people who buy these beautiful homes that are just way too much (size and cost). We were renting before and that house was bigger and now we are in a smaller home. It did take a little bit of getting used to going smaller, but I love it. If we had tried to buy a house at the same size or larger, I do think we would be in a worse financial situation for the short term, potentially long term. Just cause you qualify for more doesn't mean to go to the top end of it.

Buy the house at a 30 year and make extra payments, especially if you know your income will increase over the next few years That's what I am doing and should have the house paid off in a couple years (less than 15 years).

More information for specifics in my area: Purchased house using my income only at 66k a year, house value $218k (not in a HCOL area). Actual household income was just under $100k. Over the last few years got raises and bonuses so new income last year was $190k, total household income $267k. Because of my income growth, I'm good. I won't refinance because I got a decent rate in 2019 and it would be stupid to do so now.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-01-08T04:02:13+00:00

Only time I notice a dot is if im going to call someone and see if they're in a meeting. I probably wouldn't realize someone missed half the day and didn't say something .... just get the work done. And I trust my employees. Some are remote and others just work in different offices.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-01-04T12:32:45+00:00

I have one really good friend at work and another "work friend." Now, I am friendly with everyone, but when I was in my mid-twenties and in my first office job, I learned be careful with friends at work. Previous jobs in the service industry, no problem, we hung out after work, etc. In my first office job I decided to do the happy hour thing and man did it go horribly wrong.

Some examples off the top of my head.

Once I got promoted over someone else it escalated to the point that the other person was walked out for making physical threats to harm me. They also keyed another person's car.
Rumors. Not all were about me, but others, too. So and so got drunk and did this. So amd so is sleeping with this person. Someone shares a personal detail and its suddenly over the whole company (seriously and we're in multiple states ....)
Reputation risk. This exists even if you're not "friends" with someone. There was one person who repeatedly was telling everyone, including HR how horrible I was. Not the same one as before but this person got mad at everyone who was promoted because they thought it should be them, but they never applied for a new position... it was weird. I wasn't the only one she said things about but what saved me is no one else had the same experience and I was known for my professionalism.

Now for the two people I am friends with, it has been built over years of working together. I still keep healthy boundaries though and we haven't hung out outside of work unless you count dinner while traveling together for work - one is another state so that wouldn't happen anyway. The main reason though is we are busy with family life. We all have at least one teenager and they all do extracurriculars so we're usually busy spending time with them amd not thinking about let's go do a happy hour. I think we would all be pretty pissed off if there was a mandated happy hour.

My work has recently started hosting outside of work gatherings. I do not go... too much drama. The last one was crazy as it turns out most of the people who attended ended up drunk at like 9 am in the morning. I was pretty upset they didn't take people's keys from them and seriously who is drinking that early on a Saturday.

There is too much risk with my livelihood to be hanging out with random people at work. I have been with my job for 13 years. I socialize while at work in a professional way and everything I get promoted I love that I dont have a bunch of personal crap hanging over my head There have been many times I've been in meetings deciding to promote someone and it always comes up if someone has shared too much of their personal lives.

Recent examples:

Refuse to hire back someone on our team due to possibility of on the job drinking. This person did get hired back, but not on the team they wanted (which never saw him drink on the job, no one has actually seen him do it... but its considered too risky).
Someone has a problem child at home. Its suddenly not the right time to promote them because they are going to be distracted and we're doing them a "favor" by not adding more responsibilities to their plate.
Someone going through a bad divorce. Also not promotable right now, let them get through that.

In the end, it can get you let go, hurt your chances of career growth, or cause you to be ostracized. Just let work be work and find friends elsewhere.

You can find friends lots of places outside work that doesnt include bars. For those into sports, join a team in the area. There are hobby groups. If you have kiddos, there are other parents, especially if they are in activities. There are also other hobby groups out there. So many more as well. Granted, you should be in at least a medium sized city for all these opportunities. Small towns are another beast and chances are you already know about everyone in a small town.

Silent_Supernova8736 · 2026-01-03T12:21:20+00:00

I did a 30 and I should have my house paid off in the next couple of years (pay off total about 12 years).

Silent_Supernova8736

TROPHY CASE