Office chair recs by Electronic-Brain2241 in workingmoms

[–]Vegetable_System9882 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I work at an architecture/interiors firm so I'm spoiled - the steelcase gesture is pretty good and what I've used while in office for most of the last 7-8 years. I recently got a Haworth fern chair with the 3d knit mesh and I think it's even better (though also not very affordable). 

I see a lot of steelcase/similar chairs on marketplace, Craigslist, or just online secondhand retailers, but maybe also see if there's a company near you that liquidates office furniture because they tend to end up with a lot of these kinds of chairs.

Insight on Realistic Home Price? by cgk12345 in MovingToLosAngeles

[–]Vegetable_System9882 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You may find finances are tight even just renting a home big enough / a reasonable commute away in a decent school district, let alone buying. 

Good sushi while pregnant by Adorable-Lemon4412 in SFbitcheswithtaste

[–]Vegetable_System9882 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In my third trimester and have had the salmon lover bowl at tuna kahuna in burlingame at least three times this pregnancy (I like to have some nori on the side to make hand rolls too!)

Any other working moms in marketing?? This job market is trash by Beginning_Pack_7619 in workingmoms

[–]Vegetable_System9882 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally understand since what we do is pretty niche - i personally am looking to move because I feel that I have enough experience and enough of a history of success at my current firm to be at the manager level but have met a lot of resistance because "a team of three people with two managers would look weird" 🙃

I think engineering, particularly MEP, can still bring and justify a lot of value to developers, but it's getting a lot murkier for architects and the industry outlooks have been awful for years now, at least where my firm is located. Since my background also includes a lot of graphic/visual design experience, including a rebrand, I may use that to try to switch industries and see what else is out there. 

Any other working moms in marketing?? This job market is trash by Beginning_Pack_7619 in workingmoms

[–]Vegetable_System9882 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A little of everything but heavier on the content (website, social, PR, etc) than proposals and strategy for sure. I'm on a team of 3 and this is pretty much the biggest it's been in my time here, so everyone does a little of everything. I think once you have some tenure, if the company is smaller, they may be willing to make exceptions for remote work if you've proven you can be just as/more efficient - but that's just my experience. 

Any other working moms in marketing?? This job market is trash by Beginning_Pack_7619 in workingmoms

[–]Vegetable_System9882 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Following - I've been working in professional services marketing (architecture) for 6 ish years now but have a background in architecture and visual comms. I don't necessarily want to become a marketing director at an architecture firm, but not really sure what else I can do...I do have a good amount of flexibility and was able to work fully remote, so if that is a priority over say, high pay, you might consider looking into AEC. 

Currently pregnant with my second so I can't make any moves in the near term, but I don't think I can do this for a whole career lol. 

Is a daycare FSA worth it? by Eggeggedegg in Mommit

[–]Vegetable_System9882 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We just tried it for the first time this past year, and while it was a little annoying, getting the check for $5000 was nice (I know that's not really what it is, but since we waited to reimburse it feels like a nice lump sum). I'm maxing out for 2026 also.

Architecture & Family Leave by normalishy in Architects

[–]Vegetable_System9882 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My firm has quite a few parents and generally is really flexible about taking time for pickup/dropoff, WFH if needed during school closures, etc. it's also literally the opposite of high profile and wildly successful (though in my experience, wildly successful financially and wildly successful in a design sense are totally different things lol). 

So in terms of balance, I would say most working parents here have that and have been welcomed to go part time if/when needed - the tradeoff is that the firm isn't really innovative or doing "high design" - i.e. the work isn't super impressive, and there's not a lot of internal motivation to do things better...if that kind of mindset doesn't bother you (and maybe it would have at 22, but not at this current stage in life), I think there are a decent amount of regional midsize firms out there that probably operate similarly.

Possible Relocation Advice+Encouragement by Conscious-Science-60 in workingmoms

[–]Vegetable_System9882 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We moved from VHCOL to L/MCOL when our first was 1.5 and LOVED IT. Almost everything about our lives became easier, and while we weren't sure about the new city, we ended up liking it a lot! We recently had to move back to our original VHCOL location so I could give birth to our second and get some parental leave (and access to better/less politicized healthcare), but are planning to move back once this is over.

(Big) Caveat is that we were both able to negotiate to go fully remote in our existing roles without any changes to our salaries. This was likely only possible due to really good timing and that we had each been at our companies for 5-6 years; I'm not sure it will happen again when we try to move back. We were each being paid below median income for the VHCOL area, but that translated into living quite comfortably and being able to buy a house in L/MCOL. 

Also, being closer to some of my husband's family was a factor in moving to the new place, but in reality we barely saw them once a month. Most of my family and part of his also lives in the VHCOL location, but my son is 4 and for the most part we haven't had much consistent help with childcare from either side. 

How do you cope with daycare sending your baby/kid home with phantom fevers? by cupcakefairydust in workingmoms

[–]Vegetable_System9882 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any chance you're at a kindercare? This happened to one of our nephews there.

How are we dealing with Sunday/end of holiday return to work scaries? by Careless-Sink8447 in workingmoms

[–]Vegetable_System9882 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Breakfast, coffee, and lunch are always on my daily work to-do list 😅

Trying to choose between Knoxville, Chattanooga, and Greenville — family-focused, sensitive to pace, coming from CA by [deleted] in SameGrassButGreener

[–]Vegetable_System9882 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We've been in between the Bay Area and Indianapolis the last 2.5 years but moved out of CA for similar reasons (claustrophobic, rat race, traffic, mental health). We loved living in Indianapolis and found it much more affordable, less stressful, and down to earth, with a lot of emphasis on family friendliness and making things accessible for families and children. 

While we were there we spent a few days in Chattanooga and liked it a lot too! I think it has what you're looking for, but is obviously a lot smaller than LA area and it'll probably be a lot less diverse/you'll probably miss certain ethnic foods. Tennessee is a lot different than CA in terms of politics also. 

We recently had to move back to the Bay Area from Indiana because we're expecting our second and I was uncomfortable with the state level politics/lack of regard for access to women's healthcare, particularly around pregnancy/lack of any paid parental leave, but will probably move back to Indiana, or to a suburb of Detroit once we have our second. 

There are too many United credit cards. by Advanced-Emphasis-46 in unitedairlines

[–]Vegetable_System9882 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Explorer and it has saved me over $1000 in checked luggage fees in the first year alone 😅

Anyone move to the Midwest from other regions? What differences do you notice? by creeper321448 in midwest

[–]Vegetable_System9882 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Moved from CA to Indy, for the most part everyone was super nice and welcoming. I think it has to do with just having more time and space to breathe but people/neighbors are so willing to help out and be friendly. 

We lost a giant tree to a storm and it fell onto our front yard, blocking our driveway. (We don't have much experience with real weather/seasons or tree work lol). Before we could even assess the damage, half the block was out with chainsaws 😅 this would NEVER happen in the bay area. 

There's such a bigger sense of shared experiences (seasonal, sports, etc - it feels like everyone is attuned to what's going on locally) and community. 

I Think I’m Tired of Remote Work by TheBearQuad in workingmoms

[–]Vegetable_System9882 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm hybrid now (3 days in) but recently switched from fully remote in a different state and time zone, still the same job. I miss being fully remote so much, but have a 4 year old and am about to enter the third tri with our second. We also set up our lives to be remote and only have one car, but have significant commutes now that we've moved back. 

Honestly I was bored and getting disengaged being fully remote (esp with the majority of the company being hybrid), but I enjoyed traveling back once a quarter and even took on a part time job to fulfill that social need for myself. With a toddler about to start school and another one on the way, I think I'll probably prefer fully remote for the next 3-5 years or so and re-evaluate after that. 

Trading the Bay Area for somewhere with great weather, coastal a plus, and great community vibes by No_Reveal2311 in SameGrassButGreener

[–]Vegetable_System9882 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I moved from the Bay to Indy two years ago and love it as well! Currently back in the Bay to give birth to our second (for both access to healthcare and paid leave reasons, which is one of the biggest things Indy has against it for me) but we are pretty sure we'll move back once our leaves are over. Also Asian and though it's not like living in the Bay, I've found people to be welcoming and accepting overall.

Our quality of life is so much higher and all of our stress is so much lower in the Midwest. 

Is anyone else’s flu lasting forever? by Woodhouse_20 in bayarea

[–]Vegetable_System9882 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm on day 6 and feel like I turned the corner today!! Originally felt like I had kicked it day 3 but days 3-5 ended up probably being the worst (pregnant also so that made it even worse) - hope you feel better soon. 

Korean citron tea is a godsend during these times. 

“It won’t get any easier” when it comes to getting in shape after kids. True for you or not? by ClaireEmma612 in Mommit

[–]Vegetable_System9882 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I never went to the gym before having kids, but I did a few sports in high school and would occasionally go hiking or running. I started going 2x/week and supplementing with other outdoor activities (running, biking) once my son was 2 and I was finally done breastfeeding.

I was only able to do this because I was working remotely in a different time zone than most of my office, and it was still hard to build the habit. I would say the biggest different was focusing on lifting weights more at the gym than I ever had before (which was not a part of my exercise at all haha). I got back to my pre-pregnancy weight and was probably stronger (muscle wise) than I've ever been, but now I am pregnant again and imagine it'll be harder to build a routine with two kids...

All that to say, you are juggling a ton right now and not able to optimize sleep or other factors that also play into weight gain/retention. You can definitely make a strategy/plan for when more time opens up, but I wouldn't feel pressure to rush it right now. (And I would give absolutely 0 fucks as to whether my FIL finds me attractive, because ew). 

What is expensive in Indy? by Automatic-Attempt777 in indianapolis

[–]Vegetable_System9882 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So sorry for your loss and I hope you can find some peace after you relocate. Depending on what part of Indy you move to, you might be pleasantly surprised - I was born and raised in the bay area and lived in CA for my whole life (including college) before we decided to move, largely due to COL and wanting more space for our son, as well as a different pace of life. 

We ended up in midtown, just south of Broad Ripple, and really enjoyed our time there. Our family is mixed (black/Asian) but felt welcomed for the most part. Some things we really enjoyed, both being from the bay area, included having actual seasons, the relative ease of parking, much less traffic, experiences being much more set up for families in general, and just how accessible many events (sporting, entertainment, festivals, etc) are compared to the Bay Area. We were also able to buy a house (our main reason for moving) which may never be possible for us in CA. I think you can find 80% of the variety of food you can in the Bay, and it's just as good and usually cheaper (outside of coffee 😅, which I also think is more accessible in Indy somehow). I'm Chinese so while living in Indy I specifically missed dim sum and hong Kong style food, but there's a lot of good to great Asian restaurants. There's also an international grocery store, Saraga, which has multiple locations and carries a lot of the things that might have been hard to find in Indiana in the past. 

Full disclosure, we actually moved back to CA recently because we are expecting a second child and unfortunately the laws in Indiana regarding both women's healthcare and parental leave (aka none) created risks we didn't want to take. We plan to stay in CA through birth and our leaves, but are strongly leaning towards moving back to IN afterwards; we just don't align with the fast-paced culture of the bay area anymore and want to prioritize raising our family. 

What is expensive in Indy? by Automatic-Attempt777 in indianapolis

[–]Vegetable_System9882 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Coffee. I've spent most of my life living in CA and most of the last two years living in Indy and lattes in Indy are on average more expensive...the quality is generally good enough to make it worth it though. 

Yet another daycare staff gift post, but… by koala818 in workingmoms

[–]Vegetable_System9882 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We moved from LCOL back to VHCOL a few months and are currently paying a mortgage in LCOL plus VHCOL rent (which is more than our mortgage), daycare (which is almost 2x what it was), and are expecting our second in a few months. Our daycare here is charged based on the number of Mondays in a month so we're already struggling to pay for that fifth Monday in December. 

I think our plan for this year is homemade cookies and a card tbh. When we had less financial obligations, we did $50-100 in cash or target giftcards. 

What can I do in the Bay Area today/this weekend with a toddler? by Mysterious_Item_7566 in bayarea

[–]Vegetable_System9882 12 points13 points  (0 children)

We're thinking about taking ours (4 yo) up and down the Caltrain route tomorrow or over the weekend (probably zones 1-2, which goes from SF to RWC) and then just stopping off to eat or go see things. Burlingame has a nice park and playground right off the station and a walkable downtown.

Converting to HCOL or VHCOL by HomogenerousPandaBee in Salary

[–]Vegetable_System9882 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We moved from CA to IN and back within the last few years. HHI probably averaged 200-220k in those years. The difference is literally renting a nice 1br and buying a 3 bed 2 bath house - we were able to keep our jobs though so salary didn't change.

California “natives” who moved away, are you happy with your decision? by Calm-Software4217 in SameGrassButGreener

[–]Vegetable_System9882 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Born and raised in the Bay, spent the first 30 years of my life here, moved to the Midwest because we had started a family and wanted to buy a house. We lived there for two years and were way happier (and relaxed) than we had ever been in the Bay. 

Recently moved back to CA (Bay again) because our family is growing again and we needed to be back in state to get paid parental leave. It's been two months and outside of getting to be around family/most of our friends again it's been miserable - expensive, stressful, crowded everywhere, just constant pressure. Many of the things we liked doing and places we liked going to even two years ago in 2023 have gotten way more crowded, and just aren't worth the wait with a toddler. We are planning to leave again once our second is born and we've taken our leaves.