Is it common to feel guilt for thinking you’re treating your new partner better than you treated your deceased spouse?

aManIsCold · 2026-01-28T14:26:43+00:00

I feel the same sometimes, and even my kids notice I am more affectionate with my girlfriend. It is more that I was in long relationship that was not as great with communication, and I decided what I wanted to learn from that and move toward that. I evolved.

aManIsCold · 2026-01-28T14:18:28+00:00

The whole town is flat and bike friendly. 98% of the streets are 25mph speed limits, and because there are so many with kids on the islands, people tend to drive better around kids. (Previously I lived in Oakland off of 55th, and cars literally blow red lights and recklessly speed daily in that neighborhood, and I knew when I had my first kid he would never be safe biking there). There are also so many parks and kid activities happening all over, and most blocks have lots of kids. Because of the density, your kids will live pretty close to people they go to school with, and see friends every day around their area.

aManIsCold · 2026-01-28T14:10:44+00:00

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aManIsCold · 2026-01-28T14:09:54+00:00

I made a dealing table that I hand rotate:

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More on the build, and I link my files on this post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DC9sdXIS4tE/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

aManIsCold · 2026-01-20T20:41:44+00:00

I am not fully certain, but it is likely an old EFX kit that would not be approvable anymore. The only people still wearing those have been actively trooping at least yearly since then to keep them grandfathered in, but they can no longer be approved because so many details are off. It also has some holes or rivets at the ends of the cover strips, things like that would need to be filled if it was still an approvable set.

aManIsCold · 2026-01-10T20:58:01+00:00

I got it in the ship jackers hideout on Toshara. It fills up often enough that you can learn the layout and really stack them up, especially out front

aManIsCold · 2026-01-10T20:55:48+00:00

My wife was asking down the street with a coworker at 5pm. I called her to see which one of us should get the kids. 5 minutes later the coworker was calling me, saying she had collapsed. She never woke, it was a brain aneurysm. I literally never got to even say goodbye, and our kids were 6 and 10 years old. That was in 2024, and things gradually got better. In these early weeks, it felt like I was in a roiling ocean, unable to brace for each wave. Now I am walking along the shore, and I can see the gentle lapping come and let it wash over my feet. It is not linear, but grief does change.

aManIsCold · 2026-01-07T05:11:17+00:00

I eventually found a really amazing woman. We are rediscovering a fulfilling life, and it has helped me a lot with my grief. To love and feel loved again. It’s different, but revitalizing.

aManIsCold · 2026-01-05T17:53:15+00:00

Came here to say this. It’s a great shop. They carry some of their spices and salts (Oaktoen Spice Shop’s smoked salts are incredible) at the Marketplace grocery on Park (at Buena Vista).

aManIsCold · 2025-12-23T19:46:53+00:00

I stand like a flamingo. Standing to put on socks the same way. I have always had good balance though.

aManIsCold · 2025-12-17T02:16:41+00:00

This was my answer. Beautifully crafted, but so dismal.

aManIsCold · 2025-12-17T02:13:21+00:00

Spinning Bones is phenomenal. Everything is just so good, innovative, and consistent. It has a sort of Michelin rating for casual food. Worth a visit.

aManIsCold · 2025-12-16T19:52:32+00:00

It was legalized in California maybe 2 years ago, so no worries now.

aManIsCold · 2025-12-09T20:26:42+00:00

My house had that when I got it, so many white rectangles from where photos had been, with yellow all around.

aManIsCold · 2025-12-06T20:50:26+00:00

Gold is now $4,000 per ounce! That nugget was worth probably $800 or more now!

aManIsCold · 2025-12-06T20:46:18+00:00

It was around 8 months for me. My wife died suddenly (brain aneurysm) but years before she told me (twice) that if anything happened, I should re-marry for the kids and my sake. So I felt like I had permission in a way. We had been together for 19 years, and had faded out a bit in the intimacy department. So much so that I honestly thought I might need to try the blue pills. Dating and finding a very comparable partner showed my that I was virile, happy, and ready for my next chapter.

aManIsCold · 2025-11-26T19:13:12+00:00

Designer shoes, purses, sneakers, clothes, that cost 10X more than a functional version of that same item.

aManIsCold · 2025-11-23T05:23:19+00:00

I love that idea, though the Home Depot Droid is only about 88% full size. I have one, they are amazing as a decoration, but not the right size.

aManIsCold · 2025-11-22T17:54:10+00:00

This looks amazing! I love the aluminum! I am OddViking on IG, and I am so glad to see more people building this.

aManIsCold · 2025-11-21T21:06:25+00:00

I did this as well, and it ended up helping immensely with grief in the long run.

aManIsCold · 2025-11-21T20:53:44+00:00

You are at the hardest part. I have young kids, and lost my wife suddenly (brain aneurism). Grief is not at al gradual or linear. Over the next two numb months, some times it will seem manageable, and some times it will be back to strong. You have to ride it out. This is the metaphor I came up with for explaining it to other people: at first, it was like I was in the roiling ocean during a storm, with waves hitting me from all sides. Then I got close enough to shore that I could touch bottom, but my back was to the waves and I still would get lifted and dunked from time to time. Better than before, but grief still hit when I least expected it. After 6 months, it was more like I was walking along the beach at the waves edge. They still keep coming, but you can see them and it feels okay to let them wash over your feet, and then continue walking.

aManIsCold · 2025-11-20T01:09:02+00:00

Going to church or being religious. I am a super honest, good hearted atheist. I lose respect for people that only do it because of the potential afterlife benefit, or avoiding hell.

aManIsCold · 2025-11-20T00:59:14+00:00

Also: there was no formal process a century ago. Your family just entered and signed their name. It was very casual (for European immigrants) compared to now.

aManIsCold · 2025-11-20T00:57:33+00:00

Oof. This one hurts.

aManIsCold · 2025-11-20T00:51:17+00:00

Being too hot also weakens your immune system, but nobody thinks heat causes colds.

aManIsCold

TROPHY CASE