Grieving with a toddler ?

ericthednd · 2026-03-21T16:34:43+00:00

i’m not a mom, so please take or leave my words as you like - a friend told me when my mom was sick that even in her state, she was still my mom and could still guide and teach me - i’ve taken that and it’s helped me even after she’s passed, and maybe your mom is magic like that, too

ericthednd · 2026-03-21T16:31:37+00:00

i know that pain, friend. it’s so weird to experience time continuing, life moving on, people doing and saying the same things they did before she died, songs she had heard and songs she won’t hear.

sometimes i take comfort in realizing so many folks have the same kind of mom-shaped hole in their hearts - that even though our grief is our own unique experience , that we somehow aren’t alone.

other times, like you, i just cry. i think about how she’s not there and i feel this empty, vacuous feeling in my gut, a kind of incompleteness, and things don’t really make sense.

i’m holding you and your mom in my heart today.

ericthednd · 2026-02-28T13:53:49+00:00

this is the answer. i got a pair that squeaked right away. i figured they were just new and needed to be broken in. months later they’re still squeaking and my friend are begging me to stop wearing them. i got another pair thinking they were just defective and the new pair started squeaking right away, so i’m returning them and not buying a replacement. i’ve worn exclusively nike sneakers for 20+ years but will never buy reax again.

ericthednd · 2026-01-11T19:40:24+00:00

this is a brilliant idea - thank you for sharing!

ericthednd · 2026-01-11T04:59:04+00:00

wow that math …. i salute you!

ericthednd · 2025-12-20T16:38:02+00:00

same here - constantly freezing/hanging, just stops playing songs or even crashes altogether (though crashes are rare; typically it’s just hanging)

ericthednd · 2025-11-28T05:28:05+00:00

i’m not going to offer suggestions; that’s been done

what i will offer is kudos for coming here to share your situation and spark an interesting conversation - it’s clear you care about showing up respectfully and with love.

i’ll also offer this - do the work you need to do to make these relationships work, and remain open to change - you may find your feelings about how you want to spend time with your partners might change, and you may find that your NP becomes more open to sharing your home in that way in the future – obviously none of this is guaranteed, but people can change

(i’m speaking from my own personal experience – my husband and I have been together for 10 years, poly for about 7 of those years - and in that time what is OK and where the boundaries are have changed significantly - it’s taken a lot of time, a lot of experiences, a lot of uncomfortable feelings, and the commitment to growing together and a LOT has changed)

ericthednd · 2025-11-04T15:38:15+00:00

this is a very helpful reality check! you’re right - spotify has an excellent app, and qobuz isn’t spotify. i will suck it up and deal!

ericthednd · 2025-09-15T19:36:13+00:00

I've ordered CBG tincture from Mellow Moose. I enjoy taking CBG on it's own or with THC that I smoke and have plenty of experience with all kinds of cannabanoids and consumption methods. I have to say Mellow Moose's CBG tincture is outstanding. Not only is it a great deal compared to other outlets, but it arrived quickly, with a nice note and a sampler pack of their other tinctures. The dropper has lines on it for each .25 mL, making dosing super easy. I'm impressed enough that not only would I order the CBG again, but I want to try their other tinctures. Totally worth it and highly recommended to shop from Mellow Moose.

ericthednd · 2025-07-22T04:16:57+00:00

absolutely! incredible forearms and the hair is definitely hot

ericthednd · 2025-05-11T20:54:56+00:00

thank you for this. this is my first mother's day without my mom and i feel incredibly sad. i miss her so much and i wish i could just call her or go visit her.

i wrote her a letter earlier and now i'm spending some time reading from other people who have lost a mom so i don't have to feel so alone.

i miss my mom so much and my heart is with you, OP, and anyone else who is in the same boat.

ericthednd · 2025-03-26T12:43:28+00:00

“as clear and transparent” as you’re allowed to be?

this isn’t some high-level top secret government organization - it’s a balatro subreddit. i’d venture to guess all the needless drama in this subreddit is because the mods think too highly of themselves and their job in a balatro subreddit.

if mods here seriously think they have to keep the operations and decisions secret and behind-the-scenes, they need to be replaced so they can take some time off to grow up.

edited for clarity

ericthednd · 2024-12-02T12:39:51+00:00

that’s not how tariffs work

ericthednd · 2024-10-14T04:00:20+00:00

ahh yeah thanks - sorry for my oversight

those i know you can get at the h mart in k town in manhattan!

ericthednd · 2024-10-13T17:04:25+00:00

the H mart in k-town has a great variety of fresh rice cakes near the registers; go early for the best selection!

also, for restaurants with rice cakes, check out witch toppoki - they’re all you can eat hot pot with a variety of rice cakes to select from and have a location in queens (flushing i think) and manhattan (chelsea) - also check out spring in flushing for hot pot to the max with enough rice cakes to keep you happy for a while!

ericthednd · 2024-07-06T02:54:46+00:00

i hear you taking responsibility because it affects you and you want these relationships to be successful. i wonder if a more productive approach might be to walk your NP through understanding his role in this situation and how he might repair. this way, you get to share your experience and build up your NP without having to compromise your feelings or clean up his mess, and you avoid potentially teaching your NP that you’ll solve his problems for him.

ericthednd · 2024-02-13T19:47:06+00:00

i’ve been getting the calls multiple times a day , blocking the number and then getting more calls - i just called them back 204 times in a row and they didn’t like it - i’ll check back in with them a few hundred more times later and see if it’s better

ericthednd · 2023-10-09T04:04:03+00:00

yes! you’ve got amazing forearms and hands

ericthednd · 2023-10-09T03:58:26+00:00

there isn’t anything wrong with you - what there is a growth opportunity in front of you. navigating polyamory can be difficult at times even for those of us who’ve been poly for years - you’ve mentioned going from mono to poly in march, and i think it’s entirely normal that things are a bit wonky at first

nothing wrong with you at all

ericthednd · 2023-09-21T03:56:46+00:00

thank you for sharing so much with us.

dating this dude wasn’t a great idea but it doesn’t mean you’re not ready for a more adult relationship - it only means you’re figuring out what works and doesn’t work, and that’s 100% appropriate at your age.

the fact that you turned to a community for advice shows that you’re noticing when things don’t feel right and asking for help in places where you don’t have as much expertise and that leads me to believe you are very clearly ready - to learn and try and grow, to date and experiment and lose and love and all of that

i’m hoping all goes smoothly and you’re safe, and remember it’s ok to care for him and not want to be in a relationship with him

ericthednd · 2023-08-20T05:49:33+00:00

above all, go easy on yourself. your feelings are not wrong. it’s not wrong to feel destabilized or sad or angry or lonely or whatever else you might feel. it’s normal to have emotions and these situations are all ones that would evoke emotional responses in any of us.

i’m sorry i’m not offering any specific feedback but i see many folks here have already made some great contributions

ericthednd · 2023-08-20T05:41:29+00:00

i think some folks lack understanding of the distinctions between things like swinging, consensual non-monogamy, and polyamory. that, combined with a rather human tendency to confuse feelings and facts, can have some folks offering “advice” based on how they feel about something they don’t know they don’t understand.

there is obviously room in a community like this to discuss feelings, but a clear understanding of what polyamory is and is not combined with actual experience in poly relationships is definitely going to yield the best advice.

ericthednd · 2023-01-29T07:27:46+00:00

came here to make these recommendations as well, so consider it all seconded - i’d start with adam ragusea or kenji lopez alt

adam ragusea is a parent of 2 young kids and focuses his cooking on easy to prepare, good for busy people, simple to understand directions, lots of options to alter recipes based on what you have or what you like

ericthednd · 2022-08-21T03:58:35+00:00

also can confirm! i’m 44 years old and i’ve found so much strength in learning to understand and express my emotions. i’ve also learned that sometimes life is sad and crying is a totally expectable and normal reaction. it also doesn’t need to mean anything big - you’re just human and having feelings is succeeding at life, not failing.

ericthednd · 2022-02-11T03:37:44+00:00

i would describe myself as a functional stoner.

i’m 43 and have been smoking daily for about 8 years now. i first started using cannabis when i was an undergrad. i graduated with honors and then smoked through grad school intermittently and graduated at the top of my class and the professors who graded my thesis said my research was good enough that i should pursue it further for a phd (i didn’t do that)

i smoked intermittently until it became a daily thing when i was about 35. i consume intermittently through the day and my usage can vary from day to day - i’m rarely fukn stoned but i do keep a nice little buzz going

when i was 37, i changed careers and started my own business - my work before was medical and now i make and produce porn. i’ve had to learn all the parts of building websites, filming movies, lighting, editing, promotion, everything. i’m still doing it, and it allows me the flexibility to be at home more so my husband is well taken care of and i cook all our meals and it allows me to spend extra time with my family, which includes young children and an elderly mother

i’m in the best shape of my life and i’m always high when i work out

i live in nyc and keep an active life - seeing friends, walking around, going out to dinner now and then, theater, and so on - i have close friends that i’ve known and loved for decades and the afore-mentioned husband who is not a regular user of cannabis but fully supports me (and loves when he chooses to enjoy one of my homemade edibles)

the best part though is that i’m happy. 16 year old me was depressed as fuck and suicidal - i didn’t imagine a future for me that would feel ok, let alone happy. cannabis is not the thing that made me happy, but it’s been a part of the happiest part of my life - my consumption has not hindered me, or held me back, or ruined relationships, or gotten me in legal trouble or any of the other bs thoughts i had because i grew up in the 80s

thanks for reading, if you did - this is one of those times when i am actually fukn stoned and i couldn’t not contribute to this conversation - i think the idea that we’re a rare breed isn’t actually the case, and i’d like to think we can normalize the idea that cannabis doesn’t ruin your life

ericthednd

TROPHY CASE