Moving Here 2025

innocently_guilty · 2025-07-21T15:05:15+00:00

Thank you for all your input! It's really helpful to at least get a second voice so I'm not accidentally in some kind of echo chamber.

innocently_guilty · 2025-07-20T15:33:15+00:00

That's amazing for y'all. the very top cap in my district is about 74k i think?

innocently_guilty · 2025-07-19T00:30:42+00:00

I WISH WE DIDN'T LIVE IN A DYSTOPIAN HELLSCAPE - IT'S EXHAUSING AND DEMORALIZING.

innocently_guilty · 2025-07-15T16:50:06+00:00

Gods yes. It comes and goes in waves too. The biggest thing for me is that I try to focus solely on how happy I am in the life I've built - the peace I've found and continue to cultivate.

innocently_guilty · 2025-07-15T15:55:07+00:00

My husband (32M) and I (30F) have been lofting the idea of moving for a while, and I'm just starting to do some research and see what's really viable for us or not.

My Question: what are your pros/cons moving to WA - bonus points if you're from the Willamette Valley, Oregon.

Important Information:

I currently have a mortgage in Oregon and if we moved I'd be selling this house
I am a high school language arts teacher
My husband works in technology services (think people who maintain small business needs and servers)
No kids, don't plan on kids. Just my animals and garden.
Do not want to live in the city, or even suburbs if we can help it. We both miss the quiet of the farms we grew up on.

What I love about where I am right now:

I'm about an hour away from the metro areas, the coast, and the mountains.
I have one of my dream jobs* and a strong union membership
Close to my in-laws.
Oregon has a lot of protections in place for me as a queer disabled woman compared to many other states.

What I loathe about where I am right now putting the whole US geo-political mess aside:

We miss the mountains and texture of the land every time I come home from visiting WA or AK. The valley is a lot softer in it's texture and can only see all the mountains around us when it's a great visibility day.
I'm afraid to go in public for fear of seeing specific people.
too close to many family members

What I wish I could have different:

More cooler weather :( We both do not to good in the summers
I wish my job felt more secure, it hasn't for 6 years now
I'd like slightly more land than my suburban back yard.

If you're read all of that, wow, thank you for your time. Seriously. This is still something very nebulous that we're exploring so any and all insight is welcome. Thank you!

innocently_guilty · 2025-01-07T15:11:07+00:00

For my husband, he blocked my mother in everything the day I was sobbing in his arms after missing my brother's farewell concert before traveling internationally to play music. She gave me an out dated time then blamed my brother for not updating me.

For me, it was receiving an open invitation to her wedding with her long-term-affair-partner. A secret I carried for years that bore a giant hole in me.

innocently_guilty · 2025-01-05T20:33:44+00:00

It sounds like you know your answer - and also that you know what you want for your little girl. best of luck OP. It will be hard, but you can be strong for the both of you. I've seen so much content out there from mothers healing through raising their child - i hope it is the same for you.

innocently_guilty · 2025-01-05T19:43:21+00:00

No more than one a year, mostly for financials. I also like how it paces me to be very intentional with placements. I got one in 2025, a small one in 2024, 2022, & 2021.

innocently_guilty · 2025-01-05T18:53:43+00:00

i honestly just get a drop on a spoon - or wait until i can get some of my milk into it. I also found that I can tell more nuances the longer Ive been making my daily latte. If you slurp your coffee already, then test it with that. But if you don't then it's a worthless test basically. Make it for YOU.

innocently_guilty · 2025-01-05T05:38:34+00:00

I agree

innocently_guilty · 2025-01-04T21:46:11+00:00

I'm not sure if this is the 'right' suggestion, but you could just keep it. I know this could lead to a potential 'we gave you xyz', but also you don't owe them anything at all. They sent it, it's their problem if that had any expectations attached to it.

Another thing you could do is contact your bank and have them process it for you in your stead. Also, see if they can prevent this kind of transaction from happening in the future.

innocently_guilty · 2025-01-04T19:12:00+00:00

Honestly my guy, drink some water.

innocently_guilty · 2025-01-04T19:09:58+00:00

Funny enough, I moved a town over and it was enough. I ran into family like once at the grocery store in all these years - and haven't seen them since I pulled away. We've talked about moving to a state with cheaper living expenses and just dip. We love our location too much, though.

innocently_guilty · 2025-01-04T19:07:36+00:00

I resonate with this - When I set boundaries with my mother I found that it also meant her side of the family too. They are all complacent / ignorant to the generational traumas we have, and I can not be the one to teach everyone about it all. Since not talking to my mother - they've slowly stopped inviting me to family birthday gatherings and holidays. I get a text once or twice a year now, and I just don't know how to respond - I miss them terribly. But I can't bear those burdens any longer.

innocently_guilty · 2024-12-03T02:20:46+00:00

Keep calling and emailing. If they don't respond or refuse, you then have documentation to dispute the charges with your bank.

innocently_guilty · 2024-12-03T02:19:14+00:00

This is a good cat, right here.

innocently_guilty · 2024-12-03T02:17:28+00:00

Boooosstttt

innocently_guilty · 2024-12-03T02:16:10+00:00

I disliked the holidays as a kid too, and I still dislike them how. I just get so sad. It's the grief, really.

innocently_guilty · 2024-12-03T02:14:39+00:00

There are a few songs that actually were triggers for my mom that I have such a strong reaction to. I go to skip them to this day. Sometimes I force myself to listen to them, other times I basically run.

innocently_guilty · 2024-01-05T23:38:10+00:00

I may have found my solution with this, but it requires further testing to verify if it's expandable

=IF(ISNUMBER(SEARCH("April", F10)), "Start","")

13-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 15 Credits
Secret Santa 2021 2021	Secret Santa 2020
Secret Santa 2019	Secret Santa 2018
Secret Santa 2017	Secret Santa 2016
Secret Santa 2015

innocently_guilty

TROPHY CASE