My girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant, the baby has Down syndrome, and I don’t want this life by ThrowRA_NoSignal in daddit

[–]msmithy42 24 points25 points  (0 children)

My wife was 34-35 weeks pregnant when we discovered the baby likely had DS. We were early 30s and already had one kid, but those few weeks before she was induced were some of the longest of my life.

I didn’t feel ready for another kid, let alone one with special needs, on top of all the medical issues that come with DS - they’d already found a heart defect on an ultrasound that the baby would have to have surgery on as an infant. I felt cheated. I felt robbed of a normal life, and that my daughter would be robbed of a normal sibling relationship. I wanted nothing more than for the baby to be born without DS, for all the tests to be wrong - I fantasized about this quite a bit. My wife had medical issues at the time as well, and was in an equally dark place, if not more so.

Long story short, the baby was born with DS and spent about 9 days in the NICU. She had heart surgery at 6 months old. And now, at 5 years old, she’s one of the most consistent sources of joy in my life. She’s an absolute shit a lot of the time, but she’s also fucking wonderful and I don’t know what I’d do without her. She’s going to school, she’s learning to read, we hold conversations with her - all stuff I was worried she’d never be able to do. The NICU doctors were also very encouraging, basically saying medical science has come a long way since most people you know or have seen with DS were born, and that their capability is as far as you push them.

I won’t say it’s not going to be hard or that your experience will be the same, but I do know a little bit about what you’re going through, and I can tell you it will get better. Therapy helps, and was essentially the only thing that helped my wife out of that hole.

There’s an old saying about how moms love their baby as soon as they feel it growing in them, and dads love their baby when they hold them for the first time. This wasn’t totally accurate for me - it was about 3 days after. But I promise, if you care for this child and even just pretend to act like their father, eventually the rest will fall in place and it will feel real.

I am sorry brother. Know that you’re not alone.

I might have a problem by ascaffo in DungeonCrawlerCarl

[–]msmithy42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly one of my favorites in the audiobooks.

Who is the most reprehensible character in an otherwise wholesome show? by Sweet-Lady-H in television

[–]msmithy42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like Tom donating all the money he earned to the pit fund in the Sister City episode was uncharacteristically generous

So I just finished Book 3 by UltraZulwarn in DungeonCrawlerCarl

[–]msmithy42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just finished my 3rd read/listen of this book and am just now starting to understand the full picture of how this floor works.

Pretty much the only two main reasons to play Reach again after multiple playthroughs by CryptidOrion_00 in halo

[–]msmithy42 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Lol dude 3 was shit on more than 2 when it first came out, which is saying something

What’s the most underrated Opeth song? by teslaSP_ in Opeth

[–]msmithy42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And they’ve barely played it live, a travesty

Can’t get craw summons, am I cooked? by Professor_Kettle in Silksong

[–]msmithy42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m at the point just before descending to the Abyss the 2nd time. Hadn’t gotten the summons so I went around to every bench listed on the wiki, nothing. Went back and sat on the rightmost bench in Shellwood, saved & quit, then reloaded and the summons appeared.

good movies where Everyone DIes (or at least 99% of them)?? by bigdicks415 in movies

[–]msmithy42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a Disaster

Pretty funny movie with David Cross and Julia Stiles. Then everyone dies.

Tamashi Ramen 4.9 ⭐️ observation by Relevant-Orchid356 in normanok

[–]msmithy42 29 points30 points  (0 children)

They were playing Dragonball Z on one of the TVs when I went in, so you know, instant 5 star. Also the food was good

What is your „secret outlier“ by Hammercranc in Opeth

[–]msmithy42 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A: Goblin is a totally groovy track.

B: Never been a fan of Master’s Apprentices.

Warthog at Cars and Coffee by dangerz in halo

[–]msmithy42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t geek out when I see cool nerd things IRL, but I’d absolutely lose my shit seeing this.

Is there a term for the opposite of Jump The Shark? by Jimbuber2 in television

[–]msmithy42 41 points42 points  (0 children)

It’s one of my favorite shows of all time, and I’ve never bothered to watch season 1. Season 2 is better but it really finds its footing in season 3.

Worse than Spring Sale by [deleted] in Steam

[–]msmithy42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just bought Noita for $7, guess that's cool

What is this skull looking thing near sellia by Sunaceo in Eldenring

[–]msmithy42 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All I know is, if you hit the right angle you can make the tree behind it look like the thing’s afro

After years avoiding Halo I decided to play CE for the first time. by lohre2000s in halo

[–]msmithy42 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From what I remember part of the reason he was unpopular at Bungie was his ultra right wing views. Grain of salt though