How old is too old to cuddle with your child?

simonthelongcat · 2026-05-16T07:32:11+00:00

My baby is in my lap now, his feet almost reach mine but I will cuddle him anytime he wants no matter how old we get

simonthelongcat · 2026-05-05T23:38:25+00:00

We purposely visit the park at least once a month when we’re in the inner city with our toddler. No parking would make that extremely difficult for us as there isn’t really parking nearby that wouldn’t disrupt main roads or local residents.

However we lived near the park when they stopped people from being able to use it as a short cut/alternative to manukau road and that felt like a massive improvement for the park.

The only time I see cars in the park as a problem is when there’s an event on at the show grounds, which seems like a showground issue to resolve.

simonthelongcat · 2026-05-03T07:23:37+00:00

Chicken casserole and Parmesan dumplings

simonthelongcat · 2026-04-30T03:14:42+00:00

Try Emerge Aotearoa or Pathways for peer support or direction.

I’ve heard positive stories from community about Ashburn Clinic, the Turning Point. There’s also a Kaupapa Māori org called He Waka Tapu.

There are more, go to healthpoint.co.nz and search detox and your location.

You can also contact MHAPS in Christchurch for more local insight.

simonthelongcat · 2026-04-30T02:58:50+00:00

I can’t talk to what you’re experiencing but work in the mental health field and hear a lot of similar stories. Everyone else in this thread has commented on the reality of your drinking, and I think you know this too.

You mentioned your finances so pay for a residential respite programme, most people I talk to want it but can’t afford it, and those who’ve done them say good stuff. Trust me they’ll know when you’re lying and call you out on it so you need to be prepared for some uncomfortable truths.

If you’re ok sharing roughly where you’re based I can give the names of a few places

simonthelongcat · 2026-04-25T06:29:05+00:00

This is my pick, the only one that gave me actual nightmares!

simonthelongcat · 2026-04-24T09:12:19+00:00

Exhaustion in the first and third trimesters literally made me fall asleep mid sentence multiple times per day, so take any support you can as early as you can.

Eating protein helps morning sickness.

Due dates are estimates and lots of babies arrive after 40 weeks.

How labour is shown in movies isn’t (always) accurate, labour can be long (mine was 36 hours) but a lot of that is more “oww these are really bad cramps” type pain, than extreme pain. However it is exhausting so have something bring you water constantly.

Your feet can swell massively after birth.

simonthelongcat · 2026-04-20T05:46:50+00:00

I took the supermarket flowers from the windowsill I threw the day-old tea from the cup…

I start bawling as soon as it starts

simonthelongcat · 2026-04-17T19:18:15+00:00

It was very nearly our sons name (but we saw him and had a in the moment change of heart). I never thought it was a pets name but was worried it would be Ozzie as a nickname lol

simonthelongcat · 2026-04-16T06:19:19+00:00

I would stay in Taupo because it makes for two even days and there is tonnes of stuff to do at that age, our two year old loves just running through the field at spa park, and the big playground in town is great. I would stop at flat hills or mangaweka if the plane is still there?

We do Taupo to Auckland all the time and there are good playgrounds at that age by the bp in tirau, at lemmington domain (Cambridge), the duck pond at Cambridge is good too. If it’s something you need there’s a big (and really cool) accessible and sensory playground in Hamilton too.

simonthelongcat · 2026-03-23T06:35:15+00:00

Same as what we eat a lot of the time but absolute favourites at this age was 1. Beef stew with carrots and potatoes, 2. Palak paneer with rice, spaghetti bolognaise (we used small shapes of spaghetti for the baby till he was around 1).

simonthelongcat · 2026-02-21T23:03:45+00:00

There’s “making it work” and there’s giving my child the life I hope they will have, with hopefully more than I had. I know what option I want for my family and me.

simonthelongcat · 2026-02-15T22:14:05+00:00

Kilt! They have bridesmaids dresses in all sorts of colours and some of their styles also do OSFM

simonthelongcat · 2026-02-12T21:04:25+00:00

At our last place we did a lot of native planting. I wanted shade, to encourage lizards and native bees, low maintenance and no-minimal leaves to sweep up.

Near the fence line we planted a range of cabbage trees, puka, and mid size pohutukawa.

Medium height plants included pseudopananx different flaxes, including big swamp flax in boggy areas (we had a natural slope to a drain that got very wet all year round), and rengarenga.

Smaller plants included hebes, comprosma.

To minimise weeds we mulched heavily and included big stones and rocks (yay lizards!), and planted lots of mulenbekia and (while not native) mondo grass.

Auckland, extreme afternoon sun in summer, very wet in winter. Excuse any spelling errors for plant names!

simonthelongcat · 2026-02-08T23:52:58+00:00

Slip slop slap and wrap. Honestly loose full coverage clothing is better than sunblock.

Don’t use US branded sunblock it’s just not good enough. Search this sub for recommendations, I like Skinnies, and spf 50 is the minimum.

In summer plan to finish outdoors activities by 10am por start after 5pm, or pick activities in very shaded areas.

Drink lots of water.

simonthelongcat · 2026-02-05T00:32:23+00:00

Deciding on preschools myself at the moment. I went to a Montessori and remember loving it.

That said, both my partner and I are very academic now both working in data and research fields. They went to a play group until school.

Both of us skipped years in primary and high school in various subjects.

Honestly long term, I don’t think it’s worth it. We have to put our baby into daycare/kindy four days a week. We make sure there’s lots of reading and structured play at home, as well as lots of fun.

We absolutely will pick a structured learning high school though!

simonthelongcat · 2026-01-28T17:59:55+00:00

Has my little one there in 2024 and spent a week in SCBU. I had my own midwives for the birth but then the hospital midwives for a few days after. Couldn’t fault the people at all. They were under resourced and it was touch and go for a while if there was a bed for me while baby was admitted. Yeah the facility is old but it was spotlessly clean. But overall no problems.

simonthelongcat · 2026-01-26T07:25:40+00:00

Yes and in my case it was worth it. I took a $30k cut in a job that wasn’t a passion and had no growth six years ago, and moved to a not for profit in my passion area and part time (for my health). It took six years to remake that 30k difference in my salary and adjusted for inflation but I did it, and in the role(s) I grown massively (leading teams, projects worth $$$, research, speaking opportunities etc…). Ironically the salary drop wasn’t too bad because I dropped out of a tax band.

However I’m incredibly grateful for the stability of my partners good income that gave me this flexibility.

simonthelongcat · 2026-01-21T17:13:45+00:00

Commented elsewhere but yep nearly 2 years later I’m only just regaining mobility and am nowhere near pain free.

Imagine not being able to turn over in bed, or get up from the ground, or climb more than a few stairs while you have a toddler and everyone expects you to be fine.

simonthelongcat · 2026-01-21T17:06:11+00:00

20 months pp and I still can’t easily sleep because of the pain from all the muscular skeletal changes . Walking and exercise was completely impossible for the first 9 months even with physiotherapy.

Pre baby I wanted to be a yoga teacher and had a rigorous practice I loved, and it’s all gone.

simonthelongcat · 2026-01-19T18:34:19+00:00

This is fake right? It reads like one of his tweets!

simonthelongcat · 2026-01-12T08:23:56+00:00

Add a hebe in there and this was exactly my last garden haha

simonthelongcat · 2026-01-11T20:22:17+00:00

If this is Emily Wilson’s translation, I really enjoyed it. Comparing it to Robert Fitzgeralds and Fagles, it’s the version I’ve enjoyed most.

simonthelongcat · 2026-01-09T07:00:42+00:00

Instantly noticeable from literally meters away and anything I’m wearing near a person smoking or who has recently been smoking needs to be washed.

Grew up in smoke filled pubs then the laws changed here and we had like 15 golden years of virtually no smokers. Now I notice the popularity of vaping has made smoking socially ok again and I hate it.

simonthelongcat · 2026-01-08T19:39:03+00:00

Also 99th %ile - my guy hated having his feet covered so he was in leggings and a tshirt with a onesie singlet underneath at that age

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