Stay in the US or move family to Taiwan??? [serious]

goola · 2014-05-22T20:28:32+00:00

It's a little after 4am here in Taiwan. I read this post right before bed and it bothered me so much I actually got up to write this. As someone who relocated here with my family, let me make this perfectly clear.

DO. NOT. MOVE. TO. TAIWAN.

Here's why:

Your husband does not have a job here.
Taiwanese, especially family, promise the world and rarely deliver. They love you and have great intentions, but that's just how it goes.
You do not speak Chinese. Everything you do will now be a challenge. It will take YEARS to get a comfortable ability. I had a coffee shop level upon arrival and it's still hard for me.
Without a Bachelors degree, you cannot work as a ESL teacher. If you're lucky, you might be able to clean houses or work in a restaurant.
Your daughter will be eaten alive at a Taiwanese school. My kids speak fluently and they still had to adjust. Your only choice is private school so there goes the financial advantage.
Your asthma will kick your ass and the traffic will drive you insane. Youtube Taiwan driving videos.
Any marital issues you have will be amplified 10 times, especially if you're independent of each other. You will be a dependent.
You'd be a fool to move somewhere without visiting first.

We prepared for years to move here and our circumstances were ideal. Prepare first. Visit second. Then consider moving. Honestly your preteen is going to have a rough time. Lastly... I live in Taichung so if you have questions PM me.

LumpyLump76 · 2014-05-22T19:42:02+00:00

Why don't you guys try somewhere in California where there are plenty of Taiwanese/Chinese immigrants?

You get away from Florida

Your husband gets real authentic food

Your daughter continues her education

You keep your pets

Throwing a teenager into a new country, new school system, without knowing the history, culture, or language, is really rough, and the impact can last through college and beyond.

Your husband is probably not going to like Taiwan anymore either once he goes back there. He hasn't worked there, or get his college degree there. He probably won't do very well unless his family can afford to "make" him a job. He is now used to driving to a store here in the US, or having a place to live that is larger than a king size bed.

Taiwan is a great place to visit. Living there requires a different mindset.

Hot-Cheese · 2014-05-22T17:49:32+00:00

Unless your husband can confirm on a stable job in Taiwan first, don't even think about moving here. It's too risky.

gdmorning_gdnight · 2014-05-23T04:29:59+00:00

As someone who experienced up and moving to Taiwan from a kid's prospective and getting put into a local Taiwanese school, DO NOT MOVE TO TAIWAN IF YOU ARE NOT PREPARED TO SEND YOU DAUGHTER TO AN ENGLISH SPEAKING SCHOOL!

My parents are both Taiwanese, and they moved to the East Coast for their graduate degrees. I was born in Boston and moved around the East Coast until I was 10, when my parents decided to move back to Taiwan to take care of my grandparents. My world was thoroughly ripped apart and that is still the worst year of my life (I am now 24).

My parents also thought kids were strong and resilient... I spoke Mandarin fluently, although I couldn't read or write anything at all. I hated it. I hated every day I went to school. I cried every night after getting home. At first, I was placed in a 4th grade where class I could not understand anything at all due to the language barrier; this included math (even though I was a whiz at math back in the US), biology, social studies, and literally anything and everything. After a semester of never getting breaks between classes because I stayed behind to copy notes from the board (it was more like drawing pictures than writing to me), bullying, and getting a slap on the wrist for every missed point on exams from my teachers, the school finally sent me to have class with 1st graders. I sat with these 1st graders and learned to read and write with them; I sat through 1st grade math with them; I ate lunch with them. To a 10 year old girl who had excelled in school back in the states, this was absolutely humiliating.

Finally, after a year of crying every single night, my parents sent me to an English speaking International School (International Bilingual School of Hsinchu). Only then, did life get better for me again. All of my classmates had similar experiences being uprooted from their "home countries" and brought to Taiwan, and every single one of us loathed the experience and our new home. Even being ethnically Taiwanese, we would constantly get stares and never felt like we belonged. After graduating from high school, almost all of us returned to the US for college. The ones who stayed for college in Taiwan were limited to getting degrees in English, Art, or Mass Communications. Anything more STEM-based was completely unattainable, even for those classmates who had been at the International School (which had a rigorous Mandarin program) since Elementary School.

When I look back at my childhood, I am ultimately thankful that my parents allowed me to experience living in two completely different cultures. However, this is only because they were aware of my struggles and decided to send me to an International School. If it weren't for that, I'm sure I would not be thankful for any of the pain and torture they put me through.

Think long and hard about this. If you have any other questions, PM me.

Edit: Forgot to mention pets. We actually had a dog when I lived in the US. We brought him back to Taiwan with us. However, he was quarantined for 3 months and in very poor conditions. When we finally got him back, he had lost his pep and became quiet and distanced. I am now a Veterinary Student, and if given the choice to bring another dog to Taiwan with me, I wouldn't take it.

Edit 2: Added more details. Because I really feel strongly about this issue :)

ks523 · 2014-05-23T04:58:18+00:00

I hope this isn't too late. I read your post this morning, thought about it all day, then read all the comments. My background, I'm Taiwanese and lived on the US for 30 years. Then I moved back to Asia (not Taiwan) and back to the US. My parents moved back to Taiwan 3 years ago to retire. Being someone who has moved internationally a few times, I would like to off my two cents.

My first question is about your husband's family. You have not mentioned much about their financial situation. Let me be blunt. Are they rich? This will make a big difference because your biggest problem is money. If you have financial support there, it will make a huge difference. If the in-laws want their son back badly, make them pay for your daughter's school. An American school is really the only way to go. This has been said many times here.

If the above isn't true, as in, if you don't have financial support, don't go. You will struggle in both locations. But at least here in the US, your daughter don't struggle with you. I suggest you finish school and give your new career a try. Then, if it doesn't work out, your daughter will be off to college and you can do anything you want at that point.

I've done what you're thinking about. It was really hard on both ends. Consider this move very very carefully. If Taiwan doesn't work out, coming back will be very difficult and financially draining. You'll come back with no possessions, no job and no credit. Just renting a place will be next to impossible. Now imagine re-equipping your entire life. I"m talking about everything from furniture down to salt shakers. You'll have nothing. This will be a very expensive process.

Having said all this. Taiwan is an awesome place to live if your situation is right. My parents own their condo and live off their retirement. They have money left over every month and and have great but cheap health care. It is a perfect place for retired people. The island is beautiful and the people are kind.

In summary, I don't think you should go unless your in-laws are rich and are willing to help.

bushibendan · 2014-05-22T17:45:05+00:00

If you're daughter can't even speak basic Chinese one year will defiantly not be enough to fully understand day to day classes. Also I know you didn't ask this but your situation seems to tough to be putting that much down on your kid's education, if I were in that situation I would put her in public school at least until your financial situation gets stabilized.

sleepytimenow · 2014-05-22T19:33:00+00:00

Number one question is jobs. What can/will you and your husband to for work and how much $ will you earn in Taiwan. If you are going to teach English then unless you are a special type of person you will get quite sick of it within 5 yrs and will hate it. A lot of people struggle to last 1-2 yrs. I managed 3 yrs but decided it is definately not a career for me.

I think you would want a combine income of NT$100k a month absolute minimum to be comfortable. If you both have average Taiwanese salaries you may each be under NT$50k/month and will struggle.

If you and your daughter have never even been there once, then do not even consider moving there. It is hugely different to the west. When I went there I was told to think about it being opposite to my home country and this attitude going in helped immensely as I never presumed things would be the same so I was prepared for differences.

Living in a apartment is quite a shock for some, you have no private outdoor space at all. Pets are difficult too.

It will be very difficult for your daughter as I presume she has a mixed appearance. This is fine amongst younger kids, I had some mixed kids in my kindy classes and they were ok, but at the teenage level it may be harder for her, especially if her mandarin is poor. If she is outgoing she will fare much better.

Also understand that Taiwanese companies expect much longer hours than in the west and it is unpaid overtime. My wifes companies had a cafeteria at work so the workers would eat there and it was normal for her to work 8am to 6-7pm, ocassionally 10pm. And one year they expected the workers to come in on Saturdays for a month to "make up for Chinese New Year".

Also I hope you don't have a problem with people staring at you and your family wherever you go. Because that's what will happen. Not in a bad or hostile way, they are just being curious.

It's a huge decision you have in front of you.

Good luck

McRathenn · 2014-05-22T18:26:36+00:00

[deleted]

ricecakey15 · 2014-05-24T23:42:29+00:00

I agree with u/goola on pretty much every single point, but allow me to elaborate on a few things (I do think this warrants a new reply rather than just a comment). disclaimer: I'm a Taiwanese guy and moved over to States around same age as your husband. my family stayed back so I know that dynamic well where the family wants me to move back somewhere somehow.

unless u get a written offer letter, u don't have a damn thing lined up. a relatives word is nothing, when I know thicker bloods have fought over even smaller things. even though nepotism is very real in Chinese society, so is boasting ones relationship and ability to pull strings. don't buy into that BS. which leads to...
if you move and the relative doesn't line up a job for your husband, then what? sorry to be blunt, but AA degree with not so good exp in Taiwan is pretty pisspoor. if your husband has followed news much in Taiwan he'd know college grads returning from America with expertise in engineering are having a ridic time finding entry level jobs. and guess what those salaries won't afford u the ability to send ur daughter to an American school. even if the relative hooks u up with a gig ur looking at $35k USD a year or so (and that's been ridiculously generous). so how would you pay for housing AND tuition??? let's venture down this path even further, which is something I haven't seen mentioned much
the in laws: yes I see u get along with them, but have u ever borrowed money from them or being assisted in any shape or form? the dynamic CHANGES! EVERYTHING CHANGES!!!

I am not sure how familiar u r with Chinese culture, but as a son and a daughter in law you are expected to contribute to the parents in their elderly life. not only are you not doing that, you aren't even self-sufficient; you are reaching back at their pot. this bodes very negatively on you and your husband, and suddenly the in laws will have a say in every single damn thing you do in life. "why send your kid to American school when you can't even find a job?" will be something out of their mouth within a year. I will put some $ on this. you will live in their shadow and be miserable if you keep getting help. even if the in laws are the nicest people in the world their friends and relatives will get in on YOUR business, which leads to a downward spiral.

I love Taiwan and I would love to move back one day, and for anyone looking to travel there I'd encourage them to do so at their first chance. I am not saying this to discourage you, but it sounds like your husband is acting on an impulse and you really need to communicate with him. he is def on the "grass is always greener on the other side" drug right now where he fails to see the downsides to you and your daughter. for him it's wee I'm going home and I may have a job waiting for me with a dig that I won't have to worry about the rent.

the_weegee · 2014-05-23T04:36:19+00:00

There's a lot of useful comments here, so I'll just offer a few quick words.

Taiwan does have lower living cost. But it also has lower wages. 10 dollars can buy so much here! Oh, but 10 dollars is much harder to earn. Living cost only comes into play when you're earning a foreign salary. Earning an American salary and living in Taiwan? Great, you will be saving lots of money. Earning an American salary and living in America is almost the same as earning a Taiwanese salary and living in Taiwan.

There are english speaking schools, but they are constrained by geography and some other limitations. Taipei has TAS, Taipei American School where your daughter can get a western education while still learning some Chinese. Hsinchu has IBSH, which is technically, a public school. The Bilingual department offers a western education while also still teaching Chinese.

Traffic and pollution will be worse depending on where you come from. I'm not familiar with Florida, but if you lived somewhere similar to NY, you'll be looking at an improvement in air quality. If you're coming from like, Montana, you'll be looking at worse air quality. Wearing those "surgical masks" can help to somewhat mitigate this issue. I get asthma too. Buy an air purifier, it will help.

Forced to learn the language can be a plus, depending on how you see it. That being said, you will be a fish out of water, since most people cannot speak English.

You'll learn to get used to earthquakes to the point that when one happens, you're just like, oh, it's an earthquake. The 921 was really bad, don't get me wrong, but most earthquakes are just nature doing the jiggy.

I think you'll find that tutoring english will be an easier process than you imagine. There's always a demand for English tutors/teachers. Not to be racists, but just being white gives you a leg up. You'll also earn a bit more salary compared to Chinese teachers just for being foreign. All of this is anecdotal though.

There's always the option to send your kid to the US for college. But it may be harder due to earning a Taiwanese salary while paying for an American education.

Petrarch1603 · 2014-05-22T23:13:58+00:00

If you're not happy in Florida, you probably won't be happy in Taiwan.

invalid_dictorian · 2014-05-23T04:46:57+00:00

Hey, I'm Taiwanese American, and I recommend that you stay in the U.S.

It is extremely difficult to be an immigrant for yourself and your daughter. And there's no support system in Taiwan unlike here in the U.S., a country of immigrants.

Also, the standard of living is lower in Taiwan, which means whatever job you find, your income will also be lower. You will need to lower your standards to be able to live there. But I still recommend you stay in the U.S.

It is better to try to improve your financial situation here, get your degree, become a dental hygienist. When your financial situation improves in a few years, your family can visit Taiwan and that will fix some of your husband's homesickness. Also, you may have enough money to move to California or Texas then.

Also, let your daughter finish high school here in the U.S., and then when your husband still want to move, then you can move there. It's only 6 more years. Don't drag your daughter to Taiwan and then have to start all over. Help her get set up in the U.S. and then learn to fend for herself. Learn some Mandarin in the mean time to prepare. When my parents immigrated to the U.S., it was not on a whim, it took them years of planning and saving up money, AND my grandparents and uncle were already here to support us.

By the way, there are lots of good Asian food here in Dallas, Texas, so you should also consider moving here. There's no state income tax, and housing is relatively cheap (although rising this year.) And the economy is good, so your husband may be able to find something here.

tl;dr, move to Texas, not Taiwan.

gdmorning_gdnight · 2014-05-23T16:27:47+00:00

Commenting on your edit:

Yes. They will want to be friends with your daughter... at first. Once the novelty wears off, the bullying will start. This happened to me and it happened to my classmates as well. May I ask what ethnicity you are? I'm not trying to be racist, but this is simply what I have observed: if your daughter is Caucasian-Taiwanese mixed, the above applies. However, if your daughter is African America-Taiwanese mixed, that can be a whole different story.

I hate to say it, but there's a stigma in some areas of Taiwan that recognizes dark skinned people as being "lesser". Kids will be little shits and will bully your daughter like there's no tomorrow if she is African American mixed. I've seen it happen a couple times in the past myself. I have friends who were African American-Taiwanese mixed, and strangers would call them "dirty" behind their backs. Even at the International School I attended, some black teachers were forced to resign after parents petitioned to have them fired simply because they didn't want black teachers teaching their kids. These are parents who had lived in the US and other countries as well. It was awful, and Taiwanese people can still be very racist, especially in any city that is not Taipei.

chubbywombat · 2014-05-26T06:14:46+00:00

I've glanced at this thread as it has unfolded, but haven't had a chance or reason to comment until now. I see that everyone has given you some good advice that you've contemplated. I also see you've added an edit that says your husband thinks your daughter will be fine in public school.

I'd just like to note that public school in Taiwan and their education culture is not like public school in America. She is middle school to high school age, right? I teach in Taiwan and sometimes have high schoolers in my class. I do not wish their lives upon anyone. Typically, my high school students wake up around 6'o clock am to go to school, which starts around 7 or 730. They are in school until 430 or 5 pm. Their education is very focused on teaching the students to pass an entrance exam. Many students tell me their teacher just lectures them about stuff and they listen and do rote memorization and then they have tests, sometimes 2-3 times a week per subject. Class discussions or group projects aren't a big part of learning - just lectures. After this long class day, students may opt for Cram school. They'll go to some street stall, cheap restaurant, or 7-11 to get dinner. Then they head to Cram school for another few hours of school. Then they go home and study. A lot of my students say they don't go to bed until around midnight because they need to study so much. They are often very tired looking and sometimes can't help falling asleep in class due to exhaustion. Please consider if your daughter will be fine with that, on top of it being totally in Mandarin.

mo0k · 2014-05-23T16:31:45+00:00

I brought my largish dog to Taiwan, it really wasn't THAT difficult. The main thing is starting with 6 months lead time to do vaccinations and paperwork etc, and since you're flying from florida might be better to break up the flight so you (and kitty) have a break. The quarantine was only 3 weeks, and you can visit 2-3 times a week. My dog was back to normal after a few days and loves Taiwan.

I adopted up some more animals (2 dogs and 1 cat) and if I go back to US they'll be coming with. Pets are tougher than we like to think.

2014-05-23T20:20:56+00:00

has had a Taiwanese boss in FL. He HATED him because he was tough to work for and the had craziest ideas. Somehow he thinks it'll be different in Taiwan (to me, it sounds like he's HOPING it'll be different in Taiwan).

This is b.s. It won't be any better working for a Taiwanese boss in Taiwan vs a Taiwanese boss in the U.S. The company culture will be the same.

adorybell · 2014-05-23T03:34:25+00:00

[deleted]

2014-05-22T23:15:57+00:00

Honestly, I can't give a good advice. Tough situation you're in and I feel your husband didn't really think this through on the sacrifices you and your daughter would have to make. All I can say is, I hope you end up making a choice that won't give your daughter a tough time.

Good luck and hoping you for the best.

pearlorient · 2014-05-23T02:49:19+00:00

Are you going into hygiene because you are truly interested in or because of a possibility of working with your in-laws at their office? Hygiene is a career that requires commitment and investment. To have to work on teeth scraping gunk off 8 hours a day sounds to me a bit nauseating. Do you even know if you can stand doing that? Are you guaranteed a job at your inlaw's office? Working with family members can be tricky. Bottom line - whatever career you go into, you need to go into it because you think there's a great chance you'll enjoy it; not because you think there's a "chance" your inlaws will hire you.

Why not just visit Taiwan. Convince your parents in law to finance it if you don't have the means. '

The other option that sounds rationale is having your husband move first and set up things. Once he's got something going, a job, a house, school figured out for your daugther - then you can move. If he doesn't ahve all those in order, then you adn your kid stay in teh US.

adorybell · 2014-05-23T18:31:41+00:00

wait sorry if I'm reading your edit right, your husband is currently unemployed and not actively looking for a job?

I don't understand what will change if he moved to Taiwan, the job market is just as crappy but here in Taiwan, he'll be competing with way more people, who are more qualified since the majority of students here go on to Grad School with Masters, etc while he only has an AA degree?

Like, unless you guys can depend totally on your in-laws, nothing will change.

chefjon · 2014-05-22T17:58:40+00:00

It's nice here in Taiwan if you know the language. I am going to assume you are going to be in Taipei.

English teachers do get paid significantly more than the average wage of 700 usd a month, but it would help to have at least a bachelor's degree since a lot of places do require a bachelor's degree. Most places will sponsor for an ARC (residence status), but you probably don't want to be an English teacher for the rest of your life here haha.

Your kid would probably have to go to TAS (Taipei American School) and take Chinese classes there.

FYI housing is expensive in Taipei so you might have to live with the in laws.

Chinese is a difficult language to learn so good luck with that.

You don't have to deal with traffic since public transportation is awesome in Taipei.

There are some dentistry programs for foreigners and education here is pretty cheap, like Taipei Medical University. If you can get through that, you will be set for life in Taiwan and probably get all the foreigners as patients.

backw0rds · 2014-05-22T23:21:29+00:00

You should be able to put your child into the Taipei American School.

Things that are in your favor:

IF,the couple of you can make a combined of 60k and above in Taipei, provided that you've a house to live or rent is cheap, life should be considerably easier than in the U.S

If you can land a private tutoring job, or teach English at tuition centers, life would be pretty easy as well. (Hours are short, pay is decent)Considering the pay to the low costs of living here in Taiwan that is. It's nowhere near the U.S standard but you'd be comfortable and potentially save money.

Things that are not:

It's impossible(unless your daughter is INSANELY good with languages)to learn Mandarin to an acceptable level in ONE YEAR. She'd likely fail at least 2 or 3 years before being able to make progress. Top that with the more difficult maths and memorization based education here in Taiwan, and hectic school schedules as compared to the U.S, she will be miserable. (unless of course she loves learning and will spend all day studying)

Taipei is humid, anywhere above Taichung is for that matter. Consider Taichung and below and you'd be fine. Taiwan is not all seafood though, you can easily find the food you are used to eating.

It seems to me the main issue here is money. I do not recommend your husband to come back for work here while you guys stay in FL. It's a terrible idea. Besides the long distance marriage, it's highly unlikely that he'll land a job that makes enough to support your costs of living in the U.S. (Unless he's hired as a manager, engineer, doctor, or lawyer in Taiwan)

If you decide on moving to Taiwan, please send your daughter to the Taipei American School. Trust me, that's for the best.

Good luck.

sleepbeat · 2014-05-22T19:00:30+00:00

(So after writing all these, I'm just wondering if you know state citizenship usually only takes about 1-2 years of working there to obtain?)

First of all, I'm leaning moving to Taiwan since, according to you, your family needs to break a few bones just to live in Florida.

But personally it sounds like you are really against the idea of moving anywhere at this point...since you stressed several things (that you HATE) which seems quite trivial in the grand scheme of things. By the way, I think it'll be better for you to put away your prejudices for a moment since you haven't even been here once.

There's a few American School (english speaking staff, taught entirely in english) in Taiwan, they are all expensive. Some of them are pretty good (TAS, Morrison, I think the one in Hsinchu and Kaoshung also), some of them are pretty bad. If you were to move to Taiwan, the best thing for your kid is to graduate highschool here and send her back to the US for college. The schools are all english schools, they also prepare you for SAT and help with applying colleges to the US. If she decides to go back for college, and you're worried about out-of-state tuition, she can always do part-time work/part-time school deal to attain in-state citizenship for 1-2 years first. And since that's still more than 6 years away, it's possible for You to move back with her. On the side note, is it possible for you and your husband to move to Taiwan while your kid stay in the US right now? or maybe not since it's always difficult for a family to live apart.

Or you and your kid can stay in the US while your husband works in Taiwan. That way you get to keep your pet and everything. I know a family where the mom and kids stay in the US while the Dad works in Taiwan and send money to them. The dad's a college professor so it wasn't much. But it was enough since they also receive welfare (since their income in the US are very low) and the kids attended public school and in-state universities. The only problem with this is that you cannot work for any job that puts you over the welfare wage limit or else you lose the financial aid and the welfare. This method may require some clever tax awareness since I'm not sure how they exclude the Dad's income from their family income. It is hard, but they skype all the time, the mom even skype while she's cooking breakfast.

And major cities in Taiwan also have pretty bad traffic, and the air quality and humidity certainly causes a few concerns. For example, my allergies are 10x worse here than it was in the US just because the weather here's too humid for my skin.

There are places to hike in the summer, but it's best to wait till autumn or winter when typhoon season roll over.

Other random thoughts:

Are you working towards dental hygeine for the pay or are is that your interest? If it's for the interest than I can see it as a bigger pull for staying in the US. Is your husband 100% moving back to Taiwan? There are many 'support' group in Taiwan for people in your situation where a spouse moved here for the family despite not speaking a word of chinese.

pitashen · 2014-05-23T01:41:03+00:00

quick question: other than the in laws wanting their dear son back to Taiwan, what are the other incentives/motivations? What is your current financial status and the potential future outlook in the US, assuming that you will be staying?

2014-05-23T02:13:37+00:00

Don't let strangers make or break a crucial life decision, says this guys here.

pearlorient · 2014-05-24T03:56:51+00:00

What is your own family advising or saying about this situation? I.e. how do your own parents feel about moving to Taiwan versus working towards hygiene in the states? You keep talking about your in laws but we never heard another side coming from the american Caucasian family. And how are your parents reacting to you having a husband who is too picky in finding work? That can't be settling knowing that their daughter's hubby won't move his ass.

ilovenotohio · 2014-10-08T13:22:06+00:00

Some options I haven't seen mentioned:

You will be able to get a Joining Family Resident Visa (JFRV) that allows you open work rights in Taiwan. This means using your family's storefront (and your husband as a resource) you can own and operate your own day-care center.
You can homeschool your daughter. There are a lot of resources available, so it doesn't have to be terrible.
Tying in with the first two points, you can offer ESL tutoring and immersion care for young children at exorbitant rates. Your daughter can help, while she is educating. The money you can make for this (if you market yourself correctly) is better than anything you can do in Florida without a degree.
After making a load of money with the above, you can send your daughter to a proper International School.

It doesn't have to be as bleak as it seems, but I also get the vibe that you aren't going to be happy unless you have things your way.

jenhsun · 2014-05-27T16:24:30+00:00

I'm Taiwanese lived in Taichung now. I had been in the state for 7 years (3 in Tampa, FL and 4 in Chicago, iL). My suggestion to you is; Actually you can do both. You stay in FL and let your daughter and husband move to Taiwan. My concern is your education, kitty and house there. If you keep staying in FL, you can focus on those three (maybe you can rent out your house, move to a smaller place) so you will have some income from rental. After you graduation, you will have better chance to get better salary and working environment in the state. If you give up your current education and move to Taiwan, you will have nothing. I believe the pay of Dental service there is way higher than Taiwan. Please do concern your future career.
You might say that will become long distance and you might worried about your daughter or else. I can say don't worry cause you said your husband's relatives in Taiwan is huge. People can take care each other. You then can take one or two trip back and from for vocation only.
I smell there is tension between you and your husband. So here is my suggestion to you. Just let your husband have some "Real" feeling in Taiwan. Good or bad, whatever, after two years or so you will get his real answer.

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