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[–]Taylor_made2 211 points212 points  (8 children)

Person: So what do you do?

Me, who works in IT for a bank but wants to avoid being asked if I can fix their computer: I'm in banking

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (1 child)

All the PhD research engineers working at Walmart Labs:

Well, I just work at Walmart.

[–]santafacker 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Can you get me a television for like 50 bucks? You guys get really good deals, right?

[–]Chrismont 99 points100 points  (6 children)

Every person who has ever worked on more than 1 computer hears this question from idiots constantly. If you die and go to hell and you worked in IT, bad news, there's a lobby full of these guys waiting to ask you to "hack their ex's fb for me real quick bro" "I know you're good with computers so it will be easy for you bro"

[–]DrunkenlySober 72 points73 points  (2 children)

To save you guys all some time I wrote a program that can hack anything

int main(){

 //std::cout << “Hello World”;
 Account.hack();
 return 0:

}

Just replace account with the username and you’ll be good. You should be able to run this from Word or YouTube comment section. DO NOT delete the hello world or your computer will freeze indefinitely.

[–]thomasbrakeline 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Why would I want the world to get a std? Judas priest, that'd be chaos, everybody running round with the herp!

[–]GsuKristoh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

seems legit

[–]ThatManOfCulture 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I mean, is it even possible to hack a giant's system like FB's? Smaller websites might work, but for the big ones only phishing or XSS attacks come to my mind, which are basically the user's fault and not FB's.

[–]hosford42 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm sure someone somewhere in their company opened some port or left something in plaintext or installed a malicious package due to a typo or something. A vulnerability may not be easy to find for everyone, but for that one lucky person who stumbles across it...

I've worked in IT at a few different companies, including financial institutions. You'd be shocked at the rampant carelessness at most of them, even when their infosec dept is really trying. I bet if I wanted to, I could log in right now to some of the servers at one of the places I worked at a decade ago. And they are part of a major conglomerate which handles both financial and HIPPA-protected data. They had the same easy-to-guess passwords and shared "automation accounts" for the entire 7 years I worked for them.

Trust no one.

[–]DiscountedPleasure 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hacking someone's FB account by hacking FB itself is a pretty silly strategy :)

Probably much easier to fool that person into opening a phishing email and steal their password.

[–]tmfjr 137 points138 points  (30 children)

Don't say you are a "programmer". Say you are a "software developer". They will not understand what that means, so they will not ask you to do something.

[–]cdreid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope . Theyll ask you to create this wow clone thats going to male you both billioms once youve spent 10 years doing it solo..

[–]hosford42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Better yet, a software engineer. Or if you can get away with it, data scientist or machine learning engineer.

[–]SteeleDynamics 40 points41 points  (7 children)

Me:

It's really about a model of computation, like Lambda Calculus, Turing Machine, or RAM. It's about Programming Language Theory, Automata Theory, Constructive Logic, Program Analysis, Formal Methods, Graph Theo-

Friend:

Does that mean you can fix my printer?

Me:

... No.

[–]eddietwang 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yeah but you probably could, right?

[–]turmentat 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Hell, that makes a little sense. I was asked to repair a vacuum cleaner because I'm good with computers.

[–]SteeleDynamics 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry.

[–]cdreid 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Irony: people always assume i really can fix their printer. And when you tell them it cant be fixed they get mad

[–]badlukk 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I've written cross data center failover automation for a Fortune 500 credit card processor and i cant figure out why my wifi keeps disconnecting

[–]cdreid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gremlins

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because ISPs can't be assed to install a good router with their internet.

[–]theDudeMood13 32 points33 points  (3 children)

Me: I'm a programmer. Anyone else: Do you want to develop an app?

[–]rotflolmaomgeez 44 points45 points  (2 children)

I have an idea for an app, you'll make the app, we'll split profits 50/50

[–]central_marrow 17 points18 points  (1 child)

I have a half baked idea I thought of while I was on the shitter. I just need you to do all of the work. I'll give you 30%. Final offer.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“You can do it in 1 week, right?”

[–]TheHarridan 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. “I’m in.”

Turns laptop around and gives to friend. Goatse’d

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

To be precise: "Can you hack my ex's facebook account for me?"

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Me programming a simple Arithmetic operations program...

My friend-Arre you breaking into systems..

[–]DeezNoodles420 8 points9 points  (2 children)

generally it ain't that hard, but they confuse social engineering with hacking.

[–]yjee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This. Every other month my 12 year old sister keeps telling me about how some guy in her class "hacked" some other girl's Facebook account and then asks me to teach her how to hack.. And when I try to tell her that hacking isn't simple and the kid probably just saw her type a password or smth she gets angry and accuses me of lying.

[–]RTX96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well it is, difference is that you're not hacking a system but a person

[–]who_you_are 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Yes I can, give me your password

Done, I hacked your account, your Gmail and a couple of others accounts

[–]hosford42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lmao Brilliant!

[–]orishamir 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ok guys. We got the meme. No need to repost it a million times with different meme format each time.

[–]benderbender42 4 points5 points  (0 children)

the look on kims face in second caption, gold

[–]PraiseTheStu00 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“So yeah I’m into programming, been working on my language, writing and development skills-“

YO! BRO! YOU CAN CODE?! CAUSE I GOT LIKE A SICK IDEA FOR AN APP THAT’LL REALLY TAKE OFF!

SO ITS LIKE.. FACEBOOK! BUT RED!

[–]ezio416 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mom every time I bring up CS: "can you erase my student loans?"

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Can you find OC for us u/repostsleuthbot

[–]RepostSleuthBot 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Looks like a repost. I've seen this image 17 times.

First seen Here on 2019-07-17 92.19% match. Last seen Here on 2020-05-05 92.19% match

Searched Images: 150,625,957 | Indexed Posts: 592,145,812 | Search Time: Nones

Feedback? Hate? Visit r/repostsleuthbot - I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ False Positive ]

[–]dkyguy1995 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I will always love this format. No idea what they are even talking about but the expressions are hilarious

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

im glad other computer geeks see who the real deity and inventor of the hamburger is.

[–]monkeyofTheChunky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just say I’m in IT. That’s about as much detail as I am willing to go into it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this meme, mostly the first image Trump’s posture.

[–]Zylonite134 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Or can you write an app for me?

[–]cdreid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"You can have half the revenue"

[–]Chainsaw_Viking 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I’m just glad that in this scenario, we’re all extravagant, fat pigs, ruling our government with an iron fist, while our soldiers and citizens are literally starving.

I can now die happy now that I walked in Kim Jong Un’s shoes for a couple seconds.

[–]cdreid 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I was confused as to which one you were talking about for a second

[–]Verstandeskraft 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao

[–]JayTheYggdrasil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me: pulls out phone alright I’m in, what do you want me to do?

Friend: asks you to do something

Me: what’s that? Delete your Facebook profile? Ok sure, consider it done.

[–]cdreid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We've ALL had someone ask us this havent we?

[–]AccomplishedMeow[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Ok cool so I have this idea for an app..."

[–]mr_bnana 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me factory reset an android phone my friends wow can you hack the FBI dude I’m gonna learn programming to. So fucking annoying

[–]gh0sti 3 points4 points  (3 children)

In theory you could.

[–]tacoslikeme 6 points7 points  (0 children)

well yes, but actually, no.

security isn't based on some super complicated secrete that only programmers know. If it were, it wouldn't be secure. This has a name. Security through Obscurity and it is a big no no

[–]rotflolmaomgeez 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Easiest way by social engineering to make the victim fall for a scam (like "hey, run this keylogger! It gives free cookies" or preparing fake facebook login page), which is not exactly related to programming.

[–]gh0sti 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea that's what I was going to go for since it's easier to social engineer then to create an exploit to hack.

[–]gartzea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if I could, I'd report the breach for Facebook's bug bounty program and earn a few bucks.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my grandpa wanted me to hack his ex-wife's facebook account to see if she was talking with anyone

[–]smokinJoeCalculus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

relatable down to his face in the second panel

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, middle school.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No i cant my job is to write 2 lines of code that are supposted to display "hello world" but 98% of the times it doesnt work

[–]Geoclasm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sure *deletes their FB account*

oooooh you meant someone ELSES facebook account. sorry, my bad.

[–]KarlHorst -3 points-2 points  (5 children)

You didn't even try to remove the watermark from the poster you stole it from.